Vexen's Own Story! Part 4
Yay, the number four headband has been written! About time yes? I think so.
It was as I was nearing the forgotten number of steps in my floppy and yet painful belly flopping down them stairs, that I came to realize that I had the ability to roll to my right, or my left, but I went with right anyhow, as I flew off the stares, only to land face first into a Star Bucks sign. Somehow I had fallen horizontally from the sky. And as I slowly slid off, who but Samuel came out of the store, stuffing his face with the new diabetes explosion McDonalds cream filled donuts.
"Whut yew do'in down there ya crazy cracka?" He asked me, his jolly lips spewing a rainbow of creamed sugar, spit, and oh so juicy blobs of an unknown substance.
"I'ma delete you." As I said, he was deleted from the story. As I walked away from the Star Bucks, a shadowy figure approached me, pulling something out from his black trench coat, something long, steel, and deadly.
"Hey man, wanna trade pokemon cards?" The nerd squeaked, getting out his super collection of trading cards.
"Hell yeah!" I yelped, the two of us joining arms as we skipped our way to a near by Wal-Mart to buy some cards for the two of us to trade.
Along the way, we were attacked by a group of pandas who approached us in a tie-dye colored SUV. They had surrounded us, but we had the advantage. Using his super nerd strength, my newly aquired friend violently molested the pandas, giving me time to think over what he might have done to me if I had gotten a better set of pokemon cards than he had. So, doing what was logical, I ran away flailing like a little asain girl.
*A year later*
"Kiyotoe! I'm home!" I shouted, entering our still doorless apartment.
From across the hall, an annoyed sigh could be heard. Apon hearing this I new this was bad. Our house had been taken over my monkeys with years of meth abuse and was now using our house as a cooking lab! With the stealth and grace of a drunken female ballerina on her monthly, I dove to the wall nearest the sound, hitting it face first before recollecting myself. As I heard the foot steps get closer, the tension building up inside me and the boom box across the street playing dramatic Vin Diesle music, I squarely punched Kiyotoe in the nose.
"Mother Fff..... the HELL man!?" He yelped, holding his nose as his voice made a cute little squeak.
"I... thought you were beef stew." I answered, having complete faith he would bye that.
"You know what? No. Fuck this. I'm out. Too many things happen to me." He growled, taking his small Adventure Time tin lunch box with him.
"Bu.....but.... I need you!" I cried, the room filling up with clouds as it started raining.
"I can't do this anymore, I feel like I'm just in the way." He sighed, looking at me with big, pained eyes.
I sniffled, the rain soaking me as a single tear poured from my left sight hole. "You're not. You're everything to me, please stay. I need you." I sniffled again, almost crying. Smiling just faintly, he walked closer, holding his arms up for a hug. "I love you!" I yelled at the top of my lungs, taking his lunch box into my arms as I twirled about with it repeatedly, quickly getting dizzy as I barffed all over it.
"You.... son of a bitch!"