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"I can't believe you convinced me to do this..."

"Well, you did say you'd do anything."

"Yeah, I did, and I'm sticking to what I said, even if I'm not ready for something like this..."

"You scared?"

"Kind of... I just hope there won't be any permanent damage or anything."

I wasn't sure if Daren was just exceptionally persuasive, or if I was just easy as all hell to manipulate, because somehow he convinced me to go see fucking Cannibal Onslaught with him at the nearby Rave Theater for the remainder of our date.

"You talkin' like seein' it's a bad thing," Daren said mockingly as I stared in horror at the framed poster for the R-rated movie outside the theater. It had a depiction of a tribal-looking fox chewing on what seemed to be a rabbit's severed leg. Oh boy, doesn't this look like it's going to be full of sunshine and rainbows!

I glared at the Rottie. "Well it kind of is! I don't want to have nightmares for the rest of my life, you know!"

That and the fact that I was probably going to wet myself after seeing it...

I think my aversion to seeing the inevitable blood bath that was Cannibal Onslaught just whetted Daren's appetite to see it with me, because he had a big old grin across his face after hearing me complain. "Phh, you'll be fine," the muscular Rottie said, trying to sound reassuring. He didn't succeed. "Just keep telling yourself that it's just a movie whenever somethin' scary happens."

I rolled my eyes. "That didn't help the last time I tried it..." I grumbled with my paws down my pockets as we made our way into the theater.

A Clockwork Purple. Oh fuck that movie was creepy... Just thinking about it gave me the chills.

Daren raised a brown eyebrow at me and smirked. "Well, you could just hold on to my arm when you're scared... if you want," he said, purring the last few words.

Aaaand there I went blushing again. Fucking shocker.

"L-Let's just get this over with," I spat out as I quickly made my way over to the indoor ticket booth, trying by best to not let my date see me blush for like the ten-billionth time today.

Daww look how shy Rob is acting! You're a cute little panther, aren't you? Yes you are, a-yes you are!

...Why does my mind torment me so?

Rave Theaters were really colorful on the inside, with lots of neon borders around the framed posters on the inside and a swirly purple and red carpet. Plenty of large cardboard standees for upcoming movies too; those things were always cool to look at. The concession stand was a wicked crazy colorful-looking circular structure right in the center of the main plaza. The theater wasn't too crowded for a Saturday night, so things were looking good.

We were both seventeen or older, so there was no problem getting the tickets for the screening, except that the unattractive walrus girl at the ticket booth gave us one of those 'oh, you're one of those scumbags who probably jacks off to awful violent movies like this I hope you get thrown in jail you horrible person #checkyourprivilege ' looks. Fucking tool.

I asked Daren if he wanted any overpriced snacks, to which he thankfully just shrugged off the offer. I didn't eat that much at Aoi Hana so I was still sort of hungry, but I wasn't about to be paying six dollars for a dinky hotdog when Daren had a thicker, juicier one between his legs, screw that.

When we got to our theater room, there were maybe thirty other people (mostly guys, in their teens or early twenties) seating intermittently across the movie theater, which I guessed could hold some two hundred.

"Where you want to sit?" I asked Daren as he was looking up the rows of empty seats.

"I like sittin' in the back where it's more private." The Rottie started smirking again, which was never a good sign for poor Rob Hamilton. "Where ain't nobody can see what we're doin'," he said with a wink.

I gulped.

We ended up sitting in the very far corner of the back row. The chairs were surprisingly comfortable for how stiff and rigid they looked, which was good, because being in such close proximity to a stud like Daren was more than enough to make me feel uncomfortable on its own.

Only a few seconds after we took our seats, the light began to dim, and the voice-over for the first trailer began speaking.

"Michael Bane presents..."

There was a dramatic pause.

"TRANSMORPHERS 4, MOTHA FUCKAS!!!" An overly loud and cacophonous death metal song started playing along with the trailer. "WATCH SHIT EXPLODE, HUGE-ASS LASERS SLICE CRAP UP, AND GIANT FUCKING ROBOTS BEATING THE MOTHER FUCKING SHIT OUT OF EACH OTHER!!!" screamed the announcer as incomprehensible and seizure-inducing cluster-fucks of explosions and robot battle started playing on the big screen.

Daren looked like he couldn't believe what he was watching. "Yo, what the fuck is this shit? This ain't an actual fuckin' trailer is it?" the Rottie asked with a paw raised in confusion.

"Oh, I heard the makers for Transmorphers 4 made an overdramatized and uncensored trailer for R-rated screenings," I said with an amused half-laugh.

"And of course, Megan Foxx wearing NEXT TO NOTHING! YEEEAAAAA!!!!" screamed the overly-enthusiastic voice-over.

"Don't look at me like that, it's embarrassing..." the attractive vixen actress said from the big screen, having only a thin towel covering her as she was slowly sliding it off. Well, she seemed really into it...

"Uh huh..." Daren said with a perturbed nod of his head.

Most of the remainder of the trailer was just more footage of explosions and robots pummeling each other, but the final bit had a surprising lack of explosions and giant robots in it. It featured the nerdy Dalmatian main-character (who inexplicably managed to nab the world's hottest girlfriend) and his dysfunctional gang of generic but racially diverse friends.

"Guys, the Deceiveatrons have gathered some nondescript ancient doomsday artifact or the other, so unless we stop them, the world's doomed!" he said his nasally, whinny teenage voice.

His friends just looked at each other, confused.

The main character made the most hilarious contorted frown.

"And the prom's tomorrow!"

His friends gasped.

DUNDUNDUUUUUUN

"Coming next summer, bitches!"

I couldn't help but snort once the trailer ended. "Wow, it's like they're not even trying anymore," I said, before I started cracking up.

Daren gave a snarky grunt. "Implying that they ever were to begin with," he commented before breaking into a chuckle.

You know, that trailer might have been stupid and epileptic as fuck, but Daren and I were both having a good time laughing at, so I'm glad Michael Bane decided to subject his viewers to such stupidity. You know, at that moment I thought that it was turning out to be quite the successful date.

Until out-of-fucking-nowhere Daren decided to wrap his arm around my shoulder.

My eyes grew wide as I froze up. Normally I would just blush and be all like "Kyaaa I'm so embarrassed" but Rave Theaters only dimmed the lights for trailers, so we were totally still visible to the other people. Oh ass-crackers, this was Cannibal Onslaught we were seeing so all the other people here were probably gay-hating violence-obsessed manchildren who only play games like Call of Honor or Medal of Duty all day.

But I didn't want to cause a scene with him or anything either! We were having a great time, and it's wasn't like I didn't like the feel of him holding me; I just didn't want people to see! Fuckfuckfuckityfuckfuck, what was I going to do? I really needed my mind to help me out here. Come on Rob's Mind, help me out here!

God, you really are hopeless without me, aren't you? Fine...

Query Accepted: Activating Panic Protocol.

Compiling Answer...

Answer found: Come up with a convenient bullshit excuse to get out of the theater just long enough until the movie starts and the lights go off.

Of course!

"You know, I think watching shitty trailers makes me hungry, because now I have the sudden craving for some popcorn, so I think I'm actually going to go back and get some snacks. Do you want me to get you anything?" I said calmly, trying my best to keep my ulterior motive, um... ulterior, I guess.

Daren shook his head casually. "Nah, I'm good."

Daren let his arm off my shoulder as I stood up. "Kay, I'll be back in a few," I said as the trailer for the new "The Halfling" movie started playing.

Ah dammit, I kinda wanted to see that in theaters...

Well whatever, it was a small price to pay for avoiding the contemptuous stares of greasy manchildren! And the best part was that a plan I thought up of actually worked out! So now I just stall for time for a little bit, no problem.

Go to the bathroom: three minutes.

Stand around deciding what to buy from the concession stand: one minute.

Go to the longest line and order a small popcorn: three minutes and seven dollars.

Avoiding an unbearably awkward situation: priceless.

Alrighty then, so after seven minutes the lights had to be off now! Objective succeeded!

Or at least I that's what I thought. But little did I know that as I was heading back to the theater, I had an assailant, a stalker, silently creeping up from behind, waiting for the perfect opportunity to strike and take me down...

"Surprise buttsex!" yelled a familiarly energetic voice as what appeared to be a polar bear jumped up and grappled on to my upper half, their legs wrapped around my waist.

"Holy shit!" I cried, completely startled by the sudden increase of upper-body weight. "Gah, Scott, get the fuck off me, you damn rapist! I'm going to spill my popcorn!" I said as I nearly toppled over at the addition of another hundred something pounds.

Scott laughed and let go. Thankfully none of my popcorn had spilled. "Sorry dude, you know I couldn't resist an opportunity to scare you like that!" he said with a laugh and a big bright smile.

You know, Scott might not have had the art of 'make you melt smile' perfected like Daren did, but fuck did he still look hot when did. If I weren't so used to the polar bear being around (and naked half the time) I'd probably be acting like a total fruit pie when he smiled like that.

I started stretching my now stiff back. "Agh, dude what're you doing here?" I complained, frustration radiating from my voice.

The polar bear gave me a playfully mocking look. "Dude, I told you I was going with Jaycee and Christy to see Fast and Ferocious 6 tonight, didn't I?"

Oh yeah, he did say something about that, didn't he?

Scott pointed backward with his thumb to an arguing iguana and wolf. It really wasn't surprising; those two were always arguing about something or the other.

"What are they arguing about now?" I asked reflexively.

The polar bear shrugged. "I dunno, something stupid like which one of their dick is bigger or some shit," he said entirely uninterested. Scott's mischievous smile resurfaced as he pointed at me with his index finger. "Anyway dude, what're you doing here? Didn't you say you had plans or something?"

Oh, ass monkeys.

My eyes were glancing from side to side, looking anywhere except at my friend. Not suspicious at all there, Rob. "Well, I do..." I eventually managed to say.

The polar bear raised an eyebrow, and then started grinning after he eyed my date getup. "Oh, I get what's going on here: you're on a date, aren't you!"

Dick thumpers.

"Something like that..." I said noncommittally, rubbing the back of my head with my free paw.

I saw a mischievous twinkle surface in Scott's blue eyes. "Ho-ho. Little Robby's finally on a date huh..." Scott then put on an expression of confusion when he noticed the theater hallway that I was heading towards. "Wait, which movie are you seeing?"

Granny tits.

"...Cannibal Onslaught," I mumbled.

Scott snorted. "Cannibal Onslaught? That hardly seems like a date-appropriate movie, dude."

"Yeah, but uh..." Oh jeez. "...she, really wanted to go see it for some reason..." I said, trying to hide all the guilt in my voice. Yeah... somehow saying that didn't feel right...

Scott just laughed again and patted me on the shoulder. "Jeez dude, she must be a pretty awesome chick if she suggested seeing Cannibal Onslaught for her date." He started smiling curiously. "Who're you with, anyhow?"

You wanna help me out with a panic protocol here, mind?

Bitch, I'm not letting you do that two times in one day.

Asshole. Well in that case...

ABORT ABORT ABORT ABORT!

"Uh, the movie's about to start so I'll just fill you in on the little details like that later," I said as I slowly started back-walking in the direction of my theater.

Scott stuck his tongue out at me. "Too embarrassed to admit who she is, huh? Well, whatever. Good luck, man!" he said with a peace sign as he went back over to Jace and Chris, undoubtedly planning to break up their argument like he always did.

Phew, I did it. I don't know how, but I did it.

When I made my way back to the theater, the lights were off and the movie was already starting, just as I had hoped. As I got back over to my seat in the back, Daren raised an eyebrow at me suspiciously. "There you are. Man, I was starin' to think you was ditchin' me," the Rottie said in a light, humorous tone.

"Sorry, I ran into somebody I knew," I said as I sat back down in my seat. Well it was technically true...

Daren didn't wrap his arm around my shoulder again until a few minutes after I sat down, but once he did, I was ready for it this time. He even did the whole pretending to stretch and then slowly inching the arm toward my shoulder thing. It was kinda cute.

As for the movie, well... it was fucking awful.

Not awful as in 'poor-quality', but more like 'fucking horrifying' and 'fuel for my nightmares for the rest of my life' awful. And, oh glob, the blood. The fucking exaggerated amounts of blood was too much for a pussy like me to bear. I get hungry when I'm scared, so I fucking gobbled my popcorn down. It helped for like the... fifteen minutes I had it. Dammit, why didn't I get a large?!

And then there was this one scene, where this guy had his head chopped off, and his decapitated body started squirting out blood like a fucking fountain. Ahhh... despite the good company, I really wanted to go home. Wahhhh! Scardey Cat Rob wanted to go home!

"Holy fucking shit!" I said, halfway into the movie as one of the cannibal just gouged out a screaming orca's eye out.

Daren's comment was a bit more enthusiastic. "Daaayumn, that's a lotta blood to come out of just one eye socket."

I just whimpered pathetically in my seat, trying my best to keep my eyes open. I don't know why I was watching it. Maybe I was trying to impress Daren or maybe I was just a fucking masochist or something, because I fucking definitely didn't enjoy watching that shit!

And then came this scene where the cannibals cornered this tiny little chipmunk girl against a wall, axes in their paws and big grins on their faces.

I placed my paws on my face and started pulling downward on my skin absolute terror. "Oh God, nonononono, they are not going there," I whimpered as I broke into a cold sweat.

"Please don't hurt me..." the chipmunk girl said in the saddest, cutest, most pathetic voice imaginable.

"I think they are," Daren said with, big excited eyes.

I think a little piece of me died inside after what came next.

"AHHHHHHHH" screamed the little girl as one of the cannibals chopped one of her arms off and started drinking the blood that poured out of the dismembered arm.

"I can't watch this," I moaned in disgust as I covered my eyes with my paws.

"What's the matter? Don't you wanna see them eat the little girl?" Daren said, chuckling in amusement by my state of panic.

The little chipmunk girl started sobbing uncontrollably. "Stop it! I need that to live!!"

"No I don't wanna see them eat the little girl!" I exclaimed, face still buried in my paws.

I must have sounded extra neurotic when I said that, because Daren's laughter subsided immediately afterwards. "Alright, don't be freakin' out now. I'm here for ya," he said reassuringly as lowered his arm to my side, and brought me closer to himself with a one-armed hug.

I guess it must have been how freaked out I was by the movie, because when Daren hugged me I didn't blush, or freak out, or activate panic protocol or anything. It might have been cliché, but I in the state of panic I was in, I would have accepted any cliché romantic gesture if it helped me feel safe and stop freaking out.

And it certainly did help, but I needed more reassurance. I looked up at Daren with big, scared eyes. He matched my gaze. Looking at that big, sexy and surprisingly sweet Rottweiler helped focus on happy thoughts and calm down. Everything about him was so beautiful that it helped soothe me; his cute, floppy ears; his short, shaggy brown hair; his soft, hazel eyes; his big, goofy, black nose and that smile... I've always blushed at his smiles directed at me, but this one... it was so sincere, so personal that despite how frightened I once was, I couldn't help but smile back.

And then, everything else faded away: the screams, the violence, the other movie-goers... It was just me and Daren, alone, gazing into each other's eyes. Gazing...longing... We closed our eyes, the distance between our muzzles slowly fading away.

And then we kissed.

It was short, a fleeting peck on the other's lips, but during those few seconds I felt so indescribably happy, so complete. I knew I had my doubts about kissing Daren when he asked me out, but this was everything I ever wanted in a first kiss. It was absolutely incredible, magical even...

We lingered for a few seconds after the kiss, just gazing into each other's eyes again, not saying a word. I know it was strange, but at that moment his eyes seemed so pure and honest. I felt like I could trust him with anything...

Another blood curdling scream resounded from the big screen, completely shattering the mood. I shuddered like a scared little kitten and covered my ears with my paws, inadvertently breaking eye contact with the Rottie.

Daren chuckled softly and gave me a firm, affectionate squeeze with his arm, bringing me in even closer to his warm muscular body. I don't know what came over me, but at that moment, all my inhibitions died away; I leaned my head against his shoulder.

It felt soft...warm... I closed my eyes. It was like heaven, a soft, comforting paradise with nothing to cause me fear or worry. Well, it felt like that right up until I heard more screams come from the big screen as the cannibals starting killing off and eating some of the few remaining survivors, startling me and ultimately breaking my fantasy.

Still, with Daren holding me so close, I found the courage to watch the rest of Cannibal Onslaught, with all its blood and gore that would normally frighten me into a coma. I don't remember the rest of the movie though; all the screams and violence just became one big blur to me.

But I do remember that during those few seconds, those few magical seconds where Daren's lips locked with mine, that I fell in love for the first time.