Vexen's Own Story!
Thanks to Kiyote being so kind to correct 90% of my spelling, and refusing to write himself as himself, I give you my own story! This is a story Vexen style!
Written By Vexen
"Ya' know, everyone seems to have their own story these days, or comics, or movie, or show, or facebook account, or a blimp." I said, flopping down on the sofa we had finally hauled in up those damned staircases. Hate stair cases.
Kiyotoe looked up at me, raising that accusing eye as he sat down on the other end of the sofa with a lazed 'plop'. "Well, they have money for most of that, and who has a blimp?"
"Hitler had some, but that's not the point. I think it's time I get my own story!" I cheered, jumping off the couch as the idea formed beautifully in my head.
"I'm not going to have to write it am I?" Kiyotoe asked, drawing out a long and regretful sigh.
"Fuck that, I'm not giving you money to write something I can! But you will have to write your own part in it, and edit it. SO! Lets get started shall we?" I said with a cheer, leaping over to the door as I ripped it off it's hinges, throwing it at the alarm clock I hated oh so much.
"What? But it's going to sound terrible and make no sense if you write it!" Kiyotoe yelped, watching the door fly past him.
"Oh yeah, that's right. I gotta first spend hours thinkin' about story progression, character development, and blah blah blah. Who cares!? This is mah story, fawk correct spelling and those boring hours of research! This story needs me, and that's it! Besides bitches of course. Canine can't have much fun without his bitches." I said nodding to myself, looking about outside to see what scenery I wanted.
"Oh hell." Kiyotoe sighed, rolling his eye at me. "No one wants to read that. I bet they'll stop on the first lin...."
"Shut your FACE kitty!" I yelled, summoning my literature powers to bind his mouth close with twizzlers. "Now, I'll call on you again when I need help in this new land I'm about to shape." I said as I dragged him to the doorway as he flailed, trying to get loose. "Now be free my little pop tart!" I cheered as I kicked him out into oncoming traffic, watching Kiyotoe platter against the windshield of a semi-truck as it went out of control, causing a massive traffic jam and many commas to be used in a single sentence as a baby was thrown off an interstate bridge as a sacrifice to Justin Beaver as it was instantly shot by a guy who had just so happen to be standing below the bridge with a hunting rifle, watching as the now bloody pulp was then grabbed by a rather large eagle as it flew away with it.
"Huh, seems a bit hot out here today, Ima change that too while I'm at it. Oh, I know! I'm starving, to FOOD! Begin chapter one please!"
Chapter One: Old People
There I was, standing in line at McDonalds in a line of at least five people. I had just recently got my hair cut emo style, all around short save for a long bang covering my right eye. Then, I noticed something I hadn't before. The old human lady in front of me had been staring at me for what I had guessed quite a while. So, I tilted my head at her. She frowned, shaking her head in disgust at me.
"What? Don't like huskies much you racist old hag?" I said with a leer, tilting my head down a bit as I exposed my fangs.
Then, something happened. The old lady started to tremble, then let out a lewd moan as she grabbed her crotch. I squinted my eyes at her, confused as hell at the scene. But then, all those years of being pent up from openly hating the young teenagers of today but secretly wishing they would use her as their fuck toy caught up with her. With a ragged old howl, she flung her head back, wailing as a seemingly endless sea of sexual old lady juice poured forth, quickly ripping the old lady apart as it started to cover the whole floor of the fast food building.
Luckily, someone had been smart enough to go for a door, but unluckily for all of us, all the doors were suddenly locked. As I made my way over to one to test it myself, I felt something warm and wet start to fill my shoes. And looking down, it was old lady cum. Somehow, the building was slowly being filled! Me and other tried to bust the windows, but thanks to new McDonalds help with the war effort that never happened, we soon realized it was no good.
We all started climbing atop the table, women were screaming and children were crying in confusion as the old lady cum seemed to pour out more quickly. And in a terrible, quick instant, the building was full. As time went by, I watched as countless fat people start to drown, their lungs not being able to hold much old lady juice. As my vision started to go black, the windows gave, and out gushed forth from the McDonalds building and onto the parking lot came a river of old lady slime.
Coughing, puking out all of that horrid stuff I had swallowed, I looked around me. Everyone else had drowned, and now lay dead, soaked in old lady cum. As I struggled to my feet, the bodies started to move, and slowly began to come together. They began to mold together, becoming a pink blob of flesh and slime.
As I watched in horror, the blob started to form. And from that, stood a ten foot tall female, wearing a daisy duke outfit and a black leather biker's cap. Her hair blonde, as was her unibrow and porno mustache. Her skin olive and her body all but hairless.
I dropped to my knees, bowing as I spoke. "Oh goddess, I see you for what you are. And I know that by not killing me, you wish to leave me with a message yes?" I asked, keeping my head down.
"Why yes." She said, her voice deep and rusted. "Cocaine my child. Do as much cocaine as you can." And with that, she turned, straddling a nearby Harley biker and riding away atop him, yelling 'mush mush' as she smacked his chap-less as with a leather whip into the sunset.
As I watched her go, tears in my eyes, I spotted a wet heap of Mcnuggets. And still feeling pretty hungry, I scooped them up, eating them as I began my long journey home.
Five minutes later.
"I'm HOME!" I yelled, entering my doorless apartment. "Oh yeah.... Just me now....WOO DILDO!"