Dreams of Refugium: Part Four

Story by Sasya on SoFurry

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Part Four

Tear-filled honey-colored eyes with wide pupils stared down at Geren from a vulpine face framed with curly, amber hair.

He couldn't immediately place them, though they seemed familiar.

"Got him in time. Don't worry so," a friendly male voice with warm, rolled 'r's came from his left. He turned, saw indistinct black fur, then turned back, blinking up at the eyes above him. They seemed important, somehow.

"Are you alright?" The fox spoke.

"I don't know. Lyshi!" His eyes widened, and he drew in a deep, raspy breath. "But..."

"Oh my dear yotie," the fox clutched him up into a hug, and he wrapped paws around, squeezing equally tight. His throat burned, but the pain in his jaw was far worse. He swallowed a bit of blood, and, confused, felt around a bit with his tongue--he was missing teeth. He shook his head, but it merely ached in reply.

He sat up, fighting back his pain to take a firm hold of Lysi's paw. "What happened? I don't remember."

"First, hold still." The older voice was a little firmer. "I am de-chipping you before this goes any further. Just say yes."

"Oh. Ok," he said meekly, voice muffled and scratchy to his ears. He coughed a little cough, wincing in pain, then looked around.

He was in a very small, very clean room. Coriagh and Zori knelt at the foot of his bed, Maven was seated in a chair beside him, and Lysi was leaned over from the opposite side, pleasantly close. Beside Maven was a tall jackal with greying muzzlefur. He wore a blue jumpsuit and synthetic gloves, and goggles sat askew atop his head.

The jackal pressed a small rectangular box firmly into the center of his pawpad; a cold sensation immediately spread up his arm from the webbing of his paw past his elbow. Geren watched in fascination as he swapped the device for a small knife and made an exact slice directly over the chip. He swapped again almost immediately to a strange device that looked like a set of augmented tweezers, and, with an experienced flick of his wrist, popped the datachip free.

He set it into a little metal box, which he closed.

Two passes of a micro-sized flesh welder had the wound sealed up with almost no bloodloss.

"To answer your question," Maven said, eyes still fixed on the box with the chip, "we found you. I can't believe that we found you when we did, but we found you. Still kicking at the floor. Lysi insisted it had to be today, but after last night, we knew we had to get you today."

"Why?" Lysi whispered, voice emotional. He gave Geren a little shake. "Why would you try to kill yourself?"

"I didn't shee any other way out. I--"

"I would never have given up on you," Lysi growled, squeezing his paw painfully hard. "We would have found you eventually."

"He told me you were d-dead."

"No. Cracked a tooth and knocked me out, but dead? I wouldn't abandon you like that," Lysi rested both paws on his shoulder, his eyes as loving as his voice was gruff. "You stupid thing. Never try that again!"

"I thought I was looking at the resht of my life! And... I didn't have anything to live for outshide anyway. I don't know why he came after me, but I was sure he'd never let me go."

"We found Mally," Maven growled. "He told us why Lapis was after you. Do you want to know what?"

"Well, yesh, of coursh," Geren shook his numb paw, sitting up a little more. Black paws wrapped around his chest and clung tightly, tugging; he wriggled back against Lysi, ignoring the pain.

"It took some convincing, but Zori excels at that."

Zori bowed.

"Mally'sh my friend," Geren said, worried. "You didn't--"

"No, no...He's fine. Odd guy, that," Maven snorted. "But here's the deal. You apparently have some ex--"

"Alain?" Geren was puzzled.

"Yeah, that sounds right." Maven snorted. "Anyway, he knew you were getting canned."

"What?" Geren sat straight up, staring at her. "What what?"

"Yeah, and apparently didn't want to go down with you or be responsible for you? Mally's words, not mine. Said he paid off that Lapis guy to 'take care of you' in a spate of conscience, though we're not sure he knew what he meant."

"What?" Geren shook his head, squinting against his headache. "Sho wait, you're shaying he knew?"

"From what your Mally says. Me, I don't give him credit for bein' nice," Maven seemed angry. "Anyway, we got all this from Mally, and He only knows 'cause he was accosted by Lapis when he came lookin' for you. Lapis told him Alain paid him off, and Mally, he told that wolf about Lyss here, and from that he tracked you down. Got close enough to use a chip finder."

"I can't believe... well, I owe you all," Geren sighed, lowering his eyes. "But I jusht ... I can't believe Alain would do that. I talked to him minutesh before they let ush go, and he didn't sheem any different. And we knew each other sho well... he can't think that Lapish..."

"You not knows until knows," Zori's voice was deep and sad. "To say, I said sorries to Lyss, but no sorries to you. Now I says to you."

"Yeah, we both feel bad. He means about when we met you." Maven explained, still sounding angry. "But me, I can't believe what that bastard was doing to you. We watched last night. Sorry for that too, but we couldn't look away. Zori wanted to go in right then, and Lysi was crying. I've never seen him so much as twitch before."

"Only because someone else got to do all that to my yotie before I did," Lysi's voice in Geren's ear was amused but emotional. "But we had to wait for Lapis to leave. He's tough, and armed."

"I destroy him if fights," Zori thumped his chest, then grinned. "But not fights is better."

"Sho, you came in ash I passhed out?" Geren wiped his muzzle, and his paw came away bloody.

"I cutted ropes," Zori nodded, passing him a little towel. "Cory holds you up, but drops."

"Yeah, sorry about that," Coraigh said, wincing a bit. "My only contribution to your rescue is your busted face."

"And cutting the collar off, and breaking the door code," Maven said. "And getting Doc here."

"I wouldn't have come through the protests for just anyone," The jackal smiled, thumping Coraigh's shoulder. "And his face will heal fine except for the teeth, I should say. Further, there's no laryngeal fracture, minimal and reducing edema, and no spinal trauma. And he's de-chipped, so I believe I'm done. Can't do anything for your teeth, though, I'm afraid, mister Geren."

"You have my thanks, Doctor" Lysi murmured.

The doctor nodded and smiled. "I need to destroy that chip and close up here before anyone else comes calling, though. Nobody's supposed to be in here."

"We'll go now," Lysi said. "Come, yotie."

Geren shifted out of bed and stood on the floor; his legs wobbled, but Maven supported him. Zori handed him a bundle from his pack; upon investigation, Geren found it to be a cloak of black fabric, similar to the others'. He slid into it, glad to hide the signs of his abuse and his still-caged sex.

"Thank you, Zori."

"Cory make."

"Just for you," Coriagh smiled softly. "It's what I do."

"It's lovely, and appreciated." Geren closed his eyes, dipping his muzzle to Coriagh. "But what about Lapish? Won't he come back?"

"We thinks, yes, but leaves," Zori rumbled. "Is agreed."

Lysi nodded. "It's too dangerous here now."

"Sho we're leaving thish part of town? He won't be able find us elshewhere?"

"No. It's not him--things have changed much since you were taken. We're leaving the city." Lysi was grim. "It's not safe here. I can't tell you more now."

The jackal paused to stare intently at the fox, and everyone else pricked up their ears.

Lysi shook his head to the doctor, then tapped the tip of his nose twice; the jackal look mildly surprised, then turned away and began assembling his kit a bit more hastily than before.

With a 'come along' gesture to his friends, Lysi turned and tugged Geren towards the door.

After catching a few hours of sleep in Zori and Maven's little shed to wait out the daylight, the five left into the gloom of a deepening dusk, walking past the southern barricades in silence. A single city guard sat at his armored gate post, head tilted back as he slept.

Though things didn't look different to Geren, the attitude of the little group was far more wary. They moved with stealth, as quickly as their legs could take them quietly, carrying nothing with them save weapons, the clothes on their backs, and a small pack that Coriagh wore containing food and water.

Through kilometers of long-abandoned suburbs they followed the fox, coming at last to flooded ruins abutting a great river; from the faint light of the city reflecting off the clouds, Geren could see that it was at least a kilometer wide. The black water churned and rumbled malevolently over the broken foundations of the buildings it swept over, and Lysi spent a full minute deciding which way to go. Eventually they turned to follow the flood upstream, to the west.

Half an hour later, they came across a steep wall of rocks which bisected their path.

"This is it," Lysi whispered.

"Climb?" Maven's voice was low. "What's at the top?"

"Tube train tube," Lysi said, then started forward, beginning to scale the embankment with surprising agility. Geren followed, picking his handholds carefully. The rocks were more even and less steep than they had appeared from the ground, and, of them all, only Zori had any difficulty making it to the top.

"No more climbs," he grunted as he flopped down with the rest, shoulders rising and falling as he drew deep, quiet breaths.

"No," Maven chuckled, wrapping her paws around the zebra and kissing his stripey neck. "You're not made for them, are you?"

"This way," Lysi whispered urgently, still standing. "Quietly. Not safe here."

Immediately Zori rose back to his feet, crouching low, and without another word they moved on. Lysi led them towards the river on the metal grating atop the tube-train tube, an archaic piece of high-speed inter-city infrastructure from happier times. It hadn't seen a train in a hundred years. A few paces over the river, the grating ended at a corroded ladder that led over the side into the gloom.

They descended into the blackness, and Lysi stopped to assist the rest at the bottom. Blinking into the black, Geren discovered that they were on a little catwalk below the train's tube, ominously close to the water beneath, which occasionally lapped across or burbled up through the holes in the thin metal walk. It swayed and creaked alarmingly with the pressures of the flood current against its trestle structure, and everyone kept their weight low as they continued on, clinging tightly to the single bar handhold.

Geren was very cautious of his footing; he'd never been much of a swimmer, and he doubted that even the best of swimmers would be safe in the merciless torrent which frothed below. Now and again, debris would slam into the catwalk, shaking it such that they were forced to cling to their support and wait for the motion to subside.

After many minutes had passed, as they neared the center of the broad river, Lysi paused, staring forward intently at something Geren couldn't see.

"Bridges is... is..." Zori's voice was concerned. "Folds?"

"Bent. It's just bent," Maven's voice wavered.

"We must go on," Lysi said. "But please, my friends, hold on tight to the rail no matter what."

As they began to walk forward once more, Geren could at last see what the others were looking at. A long section of the catwalk was heavily bent, swaying erratically and partially submerged. A few feet further, and his hindpaws were under the surface of the water, which tugged strongly against them.

Lysi picked his way forward slowly, as if making sure with each step that there was something solid beneath his feet. Behind him, each followed his lead.

To Geren's horror, halfway through the bent section, the span began to drift alarmingly with the current, and a terrible groan-screech filled the air. He could see almost nothing in through the blackness, but suddenly the frigid water was over his knees and he could feel himself moving laterally in the flood.

"GO! GO!" The terrified voice of Coriagh was right in his ear, and he was nearly knocked aside as the silver fox pushed past. "Run!"

"No!" Lysi raised his voice. "Don't run! Hold and pull--Cory!"

Coriagh lost his footing as the span was submerged, falling into Maven's legs; they became tangled, and both were immediately swept into the water. Without a thought, Geren leapt forward, grabbing desperately for Maven's belt. By some miracle, he caught it, holding for all he was worth just as she lost her grip on the rail with a little shriek. The catwalk continued to subduct, pulling him slowly under, but he refused to let go, trying to wrap his legs around a support.

The current was intense, and the deeper he sank the more firm its pull; as his head and back were submerged, he lost the little leverage he'd had with his ankle. He clenched his paw tight around Maven's belt, but to his horror he found himself being pulled into line with the flow. Immediately his grip on the railing begin to loosen, and he had a moment of terrified realization that he was about to die.

Suddenly an iron vice snapped around his upper arm and began to pull him perpendicular to the current. Within moments, he was able to lift his muzzle free and take gasp of air, slowly rising out of the water. Out of the corner of his eye, he caught a vision of huge, striped muscles standing out like massive cables. Another set of paws, smaller paws, grabbed his scruff and the fur of his back and began to pull him out. The resistance of the load in his other paw went slack, and he yelped, twisting his head around.

Zori's other arm was wrapped around Maven's waist, pulling her in just as firmly as he was hauling Geren over the rail. Moments later, Geren was sitting on the wildly swaying span between Zori and Lysi. He was still clinging to Maven's belt, and Zori hadn't let go of either of them. Maven held Coriagh's empty robe and wore a look of shock.

From far downstream, Geren's sensitive ears picked up a faint, desperate cry for help, and he tried to get back to his feet, looking around for anything to throw that would float.

"Leave it," Lysi's voice was hoarse. "We must go. We must get to land before we lose this catwalk. Move now."

Stunned, Geren released Maven's belt and rose to his feet, following Lysi. Zori let go of his arm, and they made their way along just as cautiously as before, even as the catwalk began to oscillate in the flow. Geren felt cold and numb, and he tried to shut out any thought outside of survival.

The damaged catwalk held just long enough for them to reach the stable section before, with a soft little scrape and gurgle, it broke away and vanished into the blackness.

"We must keep moving," Lysi turned back for only a moment. "And hope there are no more damaged sections. Do not let go, no matter what."

Geren shuddered, suddenly terrified at the thought that there might be a washed-out section in front of them. Through the blackness they pressed on, and he focused only on his footing.

Many minutes later, Lysi's paw found the ladder on the far side. They all followed him up to the top of the tube and along its embankment. Lysi looked often down the side, and shook his head. Gradually the path led downhill, and to each side Geren could see only water narrowing its breadth, as if it was doomed to sink below the surface and carry them all with it.

He bit his lip, momentarily frozen in his stride by the memory of the water's icy grip.

To his relief, the highest of the floodwaters lapped at the rocky support five meters before the path returned to ground level.

There they stopped.

"Can we do anything about Cory?" Maven's voice was pained, and Zori knelt behind her, wrapping big arms around her chest.

"No." Lysi lowered his head.

"Thanks for saving me...again," Geren articulated carefully around his missing teeth, looking up at Zori. The zebra reached forward and squeezed his shoulder gently, eyes sad.

"Thank you," Maven took Geren's paw, then nosed his nose.

"We must keep moving." Lysi sighed, running a paw through his hair and closing his eyes. "I'm sorry, Cory."

"He's panic," Zori rumbled, shaking his head. "Good is to not losing alls. You rights to say."

"I agree, if I understand your meaning." Maven sighed. "But I sure hope he makes it."

Geren shook himself softly, shedding a bit of water but mostly trying to clear the chill he felt in his bones.

Hungry and exhausted, they walked for many hours that long night. As they got further from the city, conversation began to resume slowly, and they moved with slightly less stealth under the bare-branched deciduous forests, paralleling the old tube train right-of-way for many miles. Lysi led, and not a soul asked where they were going or why.

Just as the first light of dawn stained the sky, they came across a narrow, unpaved road. Lysi stopped cold, then motioned for them to stay hidden as he stepped forward, sniffing at several trees. After a moment, he turned back and waved them on.

Half a kilometer down the road, Geren noticed an orange light shining through the underbrush. He tapped Lysi on the shoulder and pointed; the fox lifted his head, then turned back to Geren with a little nod. Motioning for stealth, he led them toward the light, coming out into a wide clearing host to a large encampment.

One lone fire burned low in the center, amidst caravans and tents.

Geren perked his ears, hearing movement in the shadows. Before he could say anything, Lysi straightened and raised his paws.

"Stop."

Two weasels stepped out of the shadows, holding very modern-looking energy rifles. Geren's ears told him that several more guards were concealed around.

"I'm looking for Meldor Khan," Lysi spoke softly.

"The sun rises at dawn?"

"Pass," Lysi said, shaking his head.

"Echoes of Liberty?"

"Shake the fundament."

Geren and Zori both glanced sidelong at Lysi, but the weasel simply nodded as if satisfied. The two stood aside, and Lysi led the party through to the fire. A weasel looked up at their approach, sitting behind a table with a wide map.

"Old friend," he stood and clasped Lysi's paw.

"Meldor. I got your message."

The weasel nodded solemnly. "The water broke through the partrace. Mass casualties."

Lysi cringed. "I know. I knew that would happen with these rains. And?"

"And the city is finally awake, and stirring. Still sluggish, though. Just protests. Not so much elsewhere--in Amildar they declared martial law a week ago to quell rioting and suppress risings across the province...but their guard is light in number, poorly equipped and poorly trained, and they've killed many civilians. There are many towns now holding out."

"And?"

"I have word from Pistar and Jordan Continent, and there are risings there, too. The people are already rioting in five cities, and Jordan governance looks to fall."

"So that's it?"

"That's it. Ilion has it now."

Lysi closed his eyes, and Geren could see him shudder slightly by the light of the fire. "Then it's going to happen. It took losing the partrace."

"There's not a lot of fire in the hearts of our city, I'm sorry to say. They've done a good job keeping the poor fighting the poor."

"They have. So we're moving? It looks like we're sleeping."

Meldor laughed. "We'll be packed and moving with half an hour, mark my words. But Ilion hired mercenaries--two different groups. And our 'special friends' are interested parties. They've given us some rather amazing intelligence."

"Oh."

"What is?" Zori looked baffled.

"Revolution," Lysi said, turning his eyes up to the sky.

"But how? We have nothing!" Maven's eyes were wide.

"We have nothing," Meldor said. "But we are many, and we have friends."

He put his fingers into his muzzle and blew a shrill whistle. There was a moment of pause, and then the encampment came alive with motion. People spilled out of tents and caravans, and began assembling themselves.

Geren curled against Lysi; there was danger in the air, and he didn't understand the conversation, but he was with the one he wanted to be with and didn't much care about the rest.

Meldor squinted at Geren, then turned back to Lysi, leaning forward conspiratorially. "Did you bring the supplies?"

"Yes, they are in place," Lysi said softly, smiling. "I intend to tell these here everything, Meldor. I trust them with my life, and yours. Do you have caravan space?" Lysi wrapped his arm around Geren and leaned forward.

"For you and yours, yes."

"Have any others come in?"

A flash lit the northern sky, and three bright streaks arced gracefully towards the city. All eyes turned to watch.

"Drop shuttles," Meldor said, rolling up his map and shaking his head. "So it begins. They'll have set off your packages from orbit already. The first mercenaries are technicals--they're going to disable the air defenses and command and control. Then a small contingent of shock troops to spearhead things."

"Will the people rise here?"

"I hope so," Meldor tossed his map into a bag, then folded up his table and chair and setting them into a small crate. "On that question lies the whole venture."

"They will," Maven injected. "I know my people, and I say they will. Not all of them, but many. Maybe even most."

There was a thoughtful pause.

"Where are we going?" Lysi broke the silence, tilting his head.

"Southward, into the mountains, all by different routes. We rendezvous at a huge cave system we're set up to use--Ilion's had hundred person crews cleaning and preparing them for months now." Meldor turned, raising a paw. "Hey-UP!"

His yell was answered by a hoot from the other side of the clearing, and Geren looked up. To his surprise, the tents were almost all struck and packed, and several caravans were already in motion. Little remained of what had been a quiet, sleepy encampment minutes before.

"Is there anything I can help with once we settle in for transport?" Lysi rested his paws on the table and leaned forward, ears akimbo.

"No. You're done. For now, anyhow. Number thirteen will have room in back for all of you. And yes," He said, stepping out of a young felid who had stepped in to pack his little table, "a few more of our contacts have come in. No suspicion, no mobilization, no response at all yet. Either they're seriously underestimating what they're up against, or they're several steps ahead. We're trying to prepare for both possibilities. At any rate, I must away, if you'll excuse me?"

Lysi nodded, and Meldor turned away, striding toward his transport; the fox ushered them toward a large brown caravan. It was conventional in design, long and low on two sets of long, wide tracks. Its armored back was empty, and its door hung open invitingly.

As they loaded inside, Lysi took them to the front, against the bulkhead nearest the operator station.

"You're going to explain this, right?" Maven was a bit acerb when they'd all settled.

Lysi gazed at the floor, seeming a little shrunk in. "Yes."

Geren moved closer, wrapping an arm around the fox and laying his head on his shoulder; he felt the fox form to him in response, weight shifting slightly against him as his silent support was accepted.

"When I was younger, I wanted to do something...to help people. All I met was apathy and defeatism. Four years ago, a friend from my past contacted me. He told me I wasn't alone."

"All set in here?" A badger was silhouetted by the open rear door, blinking into the gloom. "Moving out."

"We are," Lysi raised his voice briefly, then turned back to the group as the door was swung shut. When it had closed, the interior surfaces of the caravan faded away as they began to transfer a projection of the outside in to the occupants.

"Fancy," Maven murmured.

"I'm one of a number who were helping inside the city. Reconnaissance. Intelligence gathering. Most of us wanted to flex our muscle peacefully. We're past that now." Lysi shivered. "Several of us, including myself, planted bombs at tactically important facilities over the last few days."

Maven sat back, eyes wide; she locked eyes with Zori, who looked equally shocked. The caravan swayed from side to side as it began to move, and Lysi raised his head again, eyes narrowed a bit.

"Cory was my spotter and confidant. We worked as a team for years."

Zori began to speak, but Maven rested her paw on his chest, holding him back as she leaned forward. "So you mean to say that you're with DOCAL? All these years?"

"Technically," Lysi smiled a faint, humorless smile, "you are too. Welcome to the resistance."

Maven sat back in stunned silence, resting her paw on her head. "So this is really it. You weren't joking when you said it wasn't safe. If they catch you--"

"We can't allow them to catch any of us," Lysi said. He curled a little against Geren, who instinctively wrapped his other paw around the fox.

"For me, thinks it good," Zori spoke, reinforcing it with a nod. "Ney ney, times is little."

"Oh, I do too, you know," Maven was a bit gruff. "But all the little shakedowns of government security, all the little thefts from their offices, all the little things I never told this fox about because I didn't want to offend his sensibilities..."

Lysi smiled. "I knew about them, Mav. Kruuk was one of us."

"He--wait, was?"

"He died a few weeks back." The fox's smile fell slightly, tinged with sadness. "Caught within the perimeter and beaten to death by factory security."

Zori pounded a fist impotently into the bench, and Maven clenched his jaw.

"Cory and Kruuk? And violent revolution, mercenaries in the city, and we're bombing things? How did this happen?" Maven seemed unhappy.

"It's going to get much worse. May not be much better within our lifespan," Lysi said. He clutched his paws together, leaning forward over his knees. "Our normal lifespan. No telling how long we'll survive."

"Can't like it live," Zori said, resting a paw on Maven's shoulder.

"What does that even mean? All these years and you're no better at standard?" The round-eared canid turned up to glare at Zori, who looked hurt.

"Easy, Mav." Lysi murmured. "Death has been our constant companion. We simply must become better acquainted."

"I means," Zori still looked hurt. "Lives if we... as we was, cannot."

Maven sighed, closing her eyes and hanging her head. "We can't live like we've been?"

Zori nodded, expressive eyes wide. "Makes apologies, at standard."

"None needed," Maven shook her head. "Just, you know... It felt like... no matter how bad it was getting in some ways, life was getting better for us, and stabler, and... you know. And to see... To lose Cory like that... He made the belt that Geren held onto me with. It didn't fail me... but I couldn't hold him. I... and now Kruuk? I didn't hear from him, but I never would have thought..."

Tears welled up in her eyes, and Zori wrapped big arms around her, squeezing tight. Lysi withdrew a bit, silent for a few minutes.

"This wasn't my doing," the fox murmured. "But I will go with it. I've seen so many deaths... so many deaths. Even if it all ends, it will be better."

"But," Geren almost surprised himself by speaking, "thosh at the factory, thosh with meansh, those with reshourcesh... I don't know how the government here worksh, I'm embarrasshed to admit, but... can thish hurt anyone but the poor?"

"Yes." A very slightly predatory smile touched the fox's lips, and for the first time Geren caught a hint of steel behind his eyes. "The government learned from Brynton's example, but they didn't want to spend the money Brynton did. Learned to set the poor against one another to effect control--so they have nothing to counter this."

They sat in silence. Geren traced random patterns into Lysi's backfur, paw tucked beneath his cloak.

"I wish Cory had made it," Maven said, then closed her eyes and hung her head. "The bastard had all the food."

Nobody said anything; everyone could see the tears dripping from her nose. Geren fingered the cloth of his cloak and shook his head, swallowing his own emotions and turning to watch the world go by outside. The trees darkened as the caravan went on, and the terrain began to undulate beneath its frame as they slid deeper into the forest on the little mono-track.

For many hours, there was little conversation. Zori curled up into a surprisingly small curl at the forward bulkhead, and Maven stretched out on the bench beside him, and slept. Though in constant contact, Lysi seemed a bit withdrawn, and eventually Geren laid his head on the fox's shoulder and closed his eyes.

"My world," the fox said, startling him awake some time later, as the darkness was growing once more in the hints of sky visible through the trees. "My whole world has always been small. Do you wonder why I came to you? Danced with you?"

Geren bit his lip. He'd been afraid a conversation like this would be forthcoming.

"If it washn't my rakish good looksh and coyote charm..."

"No," Lysi seemed intent on being serious, holding eye contact with him. "I have a ... thing ... for outsiders. For ... for contaminating something pure."

Geren took a deep breath, summoning all the self-control he could muster. "Sho you've done that before, then?"

"Yes, often. Does that bother you?"

"If it doesh, the fault doeshn't lie with you," Geren swallowed a sick feeling, grinning a wan little grin. "I'm shorry if I came on too shtrong, but--"

"--So you actually meant it when you said you loved me, you silly thing?"

Geren swallowed again, trembling. "I...yesh, I--"

"--And you believed me when I said I loved you?"

He hung his head. "Yesh," he whispered.

"Good," Lysi's paw found his chin and held it up, forcing eye contact. "Good, because I do. I love you for your vulnerability. I love you for your touch, and your innocence. Those from the factory who slum with locals mostly do so to fulfill fantasies they can't get inside."

"I--"

"I love you, and I won't let you forget that ever. I choose to love you, Geren. You are my yotie, and I am proud of you. I am warmer when you're near." Lysi's voice was earnest, but passion lent his words weight and pace and Geren was hypnotized. "If you hadn't been taken, I would have abandoned the resistance and convinced you to come make a life with me out of the city. If you had died," he paused, eyes moist for the first time Geren had seen, "I would have been on the front lines fighting. I don't know what I would have done if I hadn't met you. It can't unhappen."

Geren reached his other paw up to stroke Lysi's cheek. The fox closed his eyes and rubbed his cheek against his pawpad, then gently grasped his paw in his own.

"But I may have committed us both to death," Lysi's soft voice held a frisson of worry. He opened his eyes and turned them up to Geren, letting a little more emotion through. "I already led Cory to his."

"You don't think..."

"No. He's dead," Lysi's voice was solemn.

Not sure how he knew, but believing him nonetheless, Geren hung his head. The caravan wiggled side-to-side as it passed over a small log, and Lysi used the motion to rise silently to his feet, tugging Geren to his and then toward the back of the caravan, several meters away from his sleeping friends.

"I don't want to do this, yotie," Lysi's voice trembled softly as he sank down on the bench. "I don't want to fight for this. I've tried for most of my life to change this place with peace, but now I've killed friends I love and enemies I don't even know. I just want to escape and be with you."

"Yoursh is a good caushe," Geren said slowly. He tilted his head, trying to remember exactly. "There'sh a shaying I once heard. 'We don't chooshe our lives, but shometimesh our lives chooshe ush."

"But I chose you," Lysi said, sounding almost frustrated. "What can I give to a rebellion? Millions may die. Win, all is destroyed and we start over from nothing. Lose and we're infamous. Terrorists. At least it was stable before."

"Dear fox," Geren clutched Lysi's paws in his. "I've been on four worldsh. Never sheen or heard of one like thish, except Brynton. I had no idea, when I was inshide--No," he interrupted himself, thoughts colliding. "No, that's jusht shelf-deception. None of ush inshide wanted to think about what was outshide. Horrible, yesh, but we blamed you. I don't want to practice that short of shelf-deception anymore. Every day I've been with you has been real, every moment visceral and pure, and you've given me hope...but look around you. If the resht of the planet ish anywhere near aw bad as that city, what do we live for? Lapis was shtable, but I wanted to kill myshelf to get away, and I'm no theisht. If you fight, I will fight. I'm not much of a fighter--he showed me that--but surely thish won't be a battle of shtrength."

"No," Lysi sighed, tugging Geren against him. "But for the first time in my life, I have something to live for."

Geren folded into Lysi's arms and wrapped his paws around the fox. His swollen throat was sore from talking.

"Then let us try," he whispered softly, directly into the vulpine's black ear, "to shtay alive."

"Until this is all over." Lysi clutched him tightly.

"Until thish ish over."