The Story Of: That One Time
At the time, I was crying in laughter while this was going on. Enjoy. Woo Dildo! .... I bet there's gonna be a gang or a band called Woo Dildo one of these days. XD
Written by Vexen
It was a time of intimacy, to one side, a stallion had been getting groped by the sphinx that lay atop him, teasing away as she always did. To the other side, a shepherd and a husky, the shepherd atop the other as he poked and prodded at the husky's chest with his nose. But, little as the two groups knew, it would all end, and not in a way that either would have thought to begin with.
It was while the sphinx, pushing the stallion's ears about lazily as leaned up against the pony, said the words that had put the odd future events into play. "All the more reason to show off how well-endowed you are for your size I think."
Shifting uncomfortably, still very aware of the busy crowd of the evening, he replied with, "W-well, I don't really want to show off. I'm sure a good few of the furs in this crowd have even more unproportionally large extremities..."
A fox had then approached him, turning her back to him as she wagged her five foot long tail at the stallion. "Would this count?" She grinned over her shoulder at him.
"Yes, that's EXACTLY what I was talking about." The pony snickered, nodding his head at the fox.
Then, another spoke out, expanding his wings out to a total of fourteen feet from tip to tip. "What about these?" He asked, tilting his head at the stallion as a small, blue fox walked by, dragging along a twenty foot tall kidney screaming, "You can't handle the truth!".
The sphinx wiggled up against the pony, huffing a warm breath over his ear along with the faintest hint of a sultry groan, her body pressed close as feathers and fur rubbed along his side. A lazy rake of her claws slid across the stallion's chest as well, ruffling his pelt as she whispered against his ear afterward. "Maybe I wanna see it."
"Is this large?" Yelled the husky from across the field, waving around the giant purple dildo from Saints Row the Third as the blue fox began placing censor-bars all over her sphinx-friend's wings, screaming "There are children here!" as she then fell into a giggle fit, flailing her arms like a meth junky.
The first fox had walked off, wanting to compare wing sizes with a dragon.
The shepherd lay there, still atop the husky who was now holding a disturbingly floppy, eight foot long dildo, in amazement. Then, pulling out his own giant purple dildo.
Upon seeing this, the husky yelled out at the top of his lungs. "Dildos Unite!" Then, hearing the husky purr, he stared up at him. "I didn't know you could purr... are you a cat?"
".... Nu, just a messed up shepherd." He said, his eyes darting from side to side.
"That makes me wonder what your genitalia looks like." The husky said, starring off in deep thought.
"Ah... nothing puts a hetero-pony in a mood like seeing a bunch of overly muscular men waving around dildos and screaming at the top of their lungs." The stallion said, his voice super-serious and cynical as he admired the sight.
"Woo dildo!" Was the shepherd's only reply to the stallion. And off to the side, that strange little blue fox watching the tips of the floppy dildos, as when the tip bent down far enough, she would jump, batting away at it in midair.
The sphinx eyed the oversized dildos, then drew her gaze back to the stallion. "Would it put you more in the mood if I strapped a giant purple dildo to myself and then tried to use it on you mister pony?" She asked, a hint of concern in her eyes.
The stallion's eyes widen, raising both his fore hooves defensively. "N-no thanks, I assure you that's not necessary...."
"See here now." The shepherd said, sounding oh so much like a wise, all knowing man. "These dildos are capable of more than just to violate ponies, if used to fight off crack whores, it can send them all flying about five hundred feet away. Now, imagine that in your bum."
"I'll pay to watch that." Was the sphinx's reply.
Meanwhile, the stallion found it difficult to keep his poker face from twitching, having a very hard time to stay in character and seem serious.
"It's alright mister pony!" Yelled the husky from afar. "May the smex be with you in your time of need!"
The little blue fox, meanwhile, quickly scampered away, off to do lord knows what.
"Wait...." The husky said, suddenly confused as he poked and prodded the tip of his dildo against the lips of the shepherd. "Where did I get this from?" Then, feeling the need to see the dildo flop about at all times, the husky repeatedly started smacking it against the shepherd's face, all while the husky said, trying to sound just like Morgan Freeman. "Dat ass." As he groped away at the shepherd's rear.
"Hey, no." the shepherd growled, showing his teeth at the husky.
"I just wanted a feel, I swear!" The husky yipped. It was then that the little blue fox had scurried back, caring a large print out poster. And as everyone gathered around, the little meth junk self destructed, killing everyone.