The Mating Habits of the College Bound Mantis

Story by Diogenes Shandor- Bio Major and Cynic on SoFurry

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#1 of Entymology Today

This is a story about anthropomorphic praying mantises yiffing


Before I begin the story, there are just a few things that I have to say first, but I figure that that's OK since you all are just going to skip past it to the story anyway. I was inspired to write this story by a short film by the Church of the SubGenius ("The Rock-and-Roll Party Church for Swinging Abnormals", you can look them up at www.subgenius.com) entitled "Bug Porn, One Dollar". The idea of insect pornography was so funny that I just HAD to do something with it. Also, there are a few unusual words in the text of this story, so I have included a glossary at the end. Finally, I had trouble deciding on all of the characters' names, so the character Stephanie's name might change to Samantha for a line or two somewhere in the text (although I think that I've corrected all the occurences of this), so if it does, don't worry about it.

Boilerplate Warning: Warning, this story contains descriptions of violence and sexual acts between anthropomorphic insects. Do not read this if such material offends you (well, don't read it if it offends you in a bad way). You also should not read this while in a place where local law would either forbid you from reading this or me from distributing it to you, whether because of your age or because of other concerns. If it is the case that local law forbids you from reading this then you should make a note of the web address at which this story is located so that you may access it the next time you are traveling abroad in an area wherein local law does not prohibit such things.

Keywords: Mutilation, Insect, Vore, School, Comedy, Humor, series, short, Pseudo-Rape/NC????, Bad Language

AND NOW, OUR FEATURE PRESENTATION...

Mitch Mantis prided himself on his ability to get through romantic liasons without being attacked by his lady friends. His luck, however, was about to run out.

His past successes had made him sloppy. When, despite the fact the low quality of the movie that they had gone to see on their date, and the terribly small portions at the restaurant after the movie, and the just generally poor quality of their latest date, Stephanie still invited mitch up to her dorm room anyway, Mitch didn't hesitate to come along.

Stephanie knocked on the door to the two bedroom suite in which she lived while at college, then, failing to get any reply, opened the door and walked in. Seeing that nobody was in the common rarea between the two bedrooms of the suite, she motioned for Mitch to sit down with her on the shared couch and then the two of them began making out.

Mitch however, was not as careful as he should have been, and in the middle of a deep kiss, Stephanie grabbed his head and wrenced it roughly into a new position....

...There was a loud "CRUNCH!" as Stephanie bit through the chitinous outer casing of the back of Mitch's head. "Owwwwww...." moaned Mitch as his girlfriend hungrily devoured the higher centers of his brain, causing his body to twitch and shudder violently. Stephanie paused for a moment to swallow a particularly large portion of her boyfriend's cerebral cortex, then went back to gorging herself on her boyfriend's brain, until mitch violently spasmed, spilling haemolymph all over the sofa, and then turned to face Stephanie, his eyes filled with unthinking lust.

Stephanie gulped down a last bite of Mitch's brain, then said, "All right, let's get started!"

Mitch climbed unthinkingly onto Stephanie's back and began thrusting wildly. Stephanie gasped as Mitch frantically mated her

"mmmmmm...." moaned Stephanie as Mitch pounded her cunt, "oh god!"

Mitch climaxed inside of Stephanie but kept on going, being no longer able to do much else other than fuck.

"OH! Ohhhhhhhhhhhh...." the warm cream inside of Stephanie helped push her over the edge herself, "Ohhhhhhhhh....." ...

...Two hours, three position changes, and several orgasms later, Stephanie found herself beginning to get bored; Mitch, on the other hand, lacked the capacity.

"I wonder what's on TV," mused Stephanie, stretching to reach the remote without breaking Mitch's embrace. On the third grab she managed to reach the TV remote and flip on the set. She surfed through the channels for a while before finally settling on a somewhat racially insensitive comedy about black ants. The next half hour was generally a quiet one except for the occasional moan, gasp, or guffaw from Stephanie.

When the sitcom ended, however, and Stephanie chanced to glance up at the clock, she gasped again, this time in alarm.

"OhMyGoshIForgotAllAboutMyEveningClassAndToday'sTheReviewForTheExam......." Stephanie roughly shoved Mitch off of her and ran to her room to get her bookbag, but as she was packing her textbooks Mitch walked up and tried to re-mount her. Stephanie pushed the male off of her again and snapped, "No! I don't have time!"

"Stay and fuck..." slurred Mitch plaintively.

"I don't have time, sorry," apologized Stephanie, "I've gotta get to cla..." Stephanie's words trailed off as Mitch tried to mount her again. Stephanie flipped the male roughly to the ground again, causing more ichor to spill out of the hole in his head, all over Stephanie's bed, books, and papers.

"Shit!" muttered Stephanie, "I can't leave you here...Uhhhhh...."

She grabbed Mitch by the arm and led him into the suite's shared bathroom

"Fuck some more..." whined Mitch as Stephanie closed the door in his face, "Where did you go?!? Come back!!!!!....."

The bathroom door opened up again.

"You came back!" exclaimed Mitch joyfully as Stephanie gouged out one of his small center eyes with a fork and ate it.

"Sorry! Just popped in for a quick snack," explained Stephanie, as she slammed the door in Mirch's face again.

"Come back again soon," pleaded Mitch.

"I'll be back after class," said Stephanie, "If you're still alive then, we'll fuck more."

"Hooray!" exclaimed Mitch.

Stephanie then went over and knocked on the door to the other bedroom in her suite, which was occupied by a honeybee gyne named Heather and her sister/sterile worker lackey Sylvia.

"What is it?" shouted Heather through the door.

"I just wanted to give you a heads up Heather; I've got a guy in the bathroom, you can use him if you want to, the door's unlocked, but if you need to use the facilities you might wanna be careful, he's a little bit...eager...right now..."

"Noted," replied Heather through the door.

"Oh, and also, don't worry, I'll clean up the sofa as soon as I get back home."

"No problem," came the reply again

"Thanks"

And so our journey into the world of entymology for the day ends with Stephanie running off to get to her class, while Mitch, her boyfriend, tries to figure out how to get out of an unlocked door. Join us next time, when we will be examining bumblebees here on Entymology Today


APPENDIX A:

Glossary:

"Haemolymph" - A substance in insects, mantids, and other arthropods with open circulatory systems which serves the functions of both blood and lymph

"Ichor" - A fancy sounding word for blood and analogous substances. Derived

from an ancient greek term for the blood of the gods.

"Gyne" - An immature queen bee who has not yet started her own colony/hive

APPENDIX B:

Dramatis Arthropodia:

Mitch Mantis - A male anthropomorphic praying mantis

Stephanie S. Bugger - A female anthropomorphic praying Mantis

Heather Bombus - An anthropomorphic bumblebee gyne who lives in the bedroom across from Stephanie's in their college dorm

APPENDIX C:

And finally a quote from that film I was talking about in the Introduction:

"To those who see thru different eyes, the world is not what it appears to those less attentive; To some few discerning ones, even god's tiniest creatures can be seen to indulge ceaselessly in mindless, microcosmic reiterations of man's eternal battles...and his passions"

-Ivan Stang, Bug porn