cursed ramblings!
these ramblings is what happens when i get too much time on my hands and set my mind on a trail of an inner whirlpool that wont let me sleep, so i wrote them down for once and i dont really know what to call these "ramblings". personally i view everything from my mind that i put into text/paper, a horrible abomination. if you like it im ok with that. ( oh and theres nothing wrong with me, i just got bored and started speaking to myself.)
whats this? im alive again. but how can this be?
i can feel something inside of me.
it feels so good but where do i go?
i feel like im going to explode.
i want to see you
but do you still even care about me?
no where to run, no were to hide i feel like im burning inside,
no one to stay no one to see that this person is still me.
so what do i do? i can not deny, that this thing eating me alive.
no one to listen, no one to care but ill make it through this i swear.
everyday i search for that place where i can be free
but now that ive found it, the only thing wrong with it is me.
what is paradise when your all alone
no one to hold no one to love
no one to say that ill miss you every day
why is it that when i go your so close
but when i stay your so far away?
this, is not my time, i must move on, cause i will not pay for your crimes, this life is so unfair, when everything turns on a dime, take my trust, throw it away, so i swear to god ill fuck you up one day. i will not sleep i will not speak, until i give you your sweet release.
if you want my heart you can take it
but you need to know that i cant live without it.
nothing makes sense
when they get their laughs
its at my expense
oh god, what do i do?
wont someone please show me
what a kind heart can do?
i am just so eager
i cant even wait
for someone to open my cage.
so far off the road
so lost out in space
not enough words to describe my place.
what have i become? this insturment of death
used by everyone, family and friends
are all just bugs crawling in my head.
i toss and turn, all night in my bed
every sound in the dark, that fills me with dread.
sleeping with both eyes open
a knife in my hand, waiting for someone or something
to enter my house of the damned.
what am i doing? i need to get back out there
and give them a scare, back into submission
they know im here to continue my mission.
is this what i will continue to be?
i wish someone would take control of me.
but until then i will fear no evil,
for i am a fate worse than death.
bring me to my knees, make me pleade, make me beg, if you can do these, you will be inside my head, give me pleasure, give me pain, aslong as theres a reward in this dream, be my mistress, but you better not make it easy on me, i will not stop i will not cease to give you what you seek, but i will expect a treat.