FSE

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formerly SoFurry search engine

Chapter 1

The sound of my alarm at 4:30 in the morning never puts me in a good mood. Nevertheless, I stretched and yawned, remembering I had finally fallen asleep a couple of hours ago near the bottom of the bed. After gaining a little composure, I sat up and grabbed my phone, and switched the alarm off. "Wish I could go back to sleep, but my dad would kill me for it," I mumbled groggily as I glanced over at my door and remembered that he had taken it out yesterday, depriving me of the little privacy I had.

I stood up and grabbed the towel on the floor, deciding I should also pick up the tissues I had used to wipe the tears away with last night, while trying to repress the memories that tried to surface the moment I had seen the dried balls of tissue."Guess I should pick these up as well" I mumbled to nobody as I grabbed the various articles of clothing strewn across my room. I finished picking everything up and tossed the tissues in the trash can, and stepped out of my doorless room with my towel and dirty clothes in my arms.

Now awake enough to walk with dexterity, I tiptoed my way up the stairs, being careful to avoid the steps that creaked. When I reached the top, I tossed my towel onto the bathroom counter and walked over to the hampers, and half-heartedly tossed the right colored clothes into their corresponding bins. I walked back to the bathroom, and carefully closed the door. I yawned and rubbed my eyes while turning on the light with my elbow.

I tried to take a step towards the sink, but my paw was stopped short by something wet and cold. Unfortunately, the rest of my body hadn't registered in time, so I wound up tripping over the damn thing, my heart racing as I threw my arms in front of my head in case it were to hit the bathroom counter as I went down. When I hit the floor instead of the counter, I just laid there for a few seconds, and let the pain and shock ebb away. I then pulled myself up and glared at the wet towel my little brother had left on the floor. "Probably from when he took his shower last night, I hate how he leaves his stuff everywhere," I growled while staring daggers towards his room. I kicked it out of the way in disgust and walked over to the shower. I turned the knob sticking out of the wall so that the water would get to an almost scalding hot, just the way I like it.

I stepped out of my underwear and waited for the water to heat up, and decided to brush my teeth in the meantime. I walked back to the counter and pulled my toothbrush and toothpaste out of the medicine cabinet, then wet the toothbrush with a little water from the sink. I squeezed a reasonable amount of toothpaste onto it, and brushed away. I looked at myself in the mirror as I did so.

I was pretty skinny for a wolf, about six feet with almost no muscles showing. Even though I was almost 17 I weighed only about 130 pounds, so I was a little underweight as well. In fact, I wasn't sure if I even had any muscle mass. I had only a few noticeably unique features. My eyes were one of them, which were a light green color instead of the typical amber most of my family had, and another was a small piece of my left ear missing from that bicycle crash last summer (I shuddered as I remembered slamming into the pavement going at least 20 miles per hour), now healed over but still noticeable. The last (but definitely not least) unique feature was my fur, which was a charcoal black with some silver in it, the silver more concentrated around my chest, chin, and groin.

I finished brushing my teeth, and glanced at them before I rinsed and placed my toothbrush and toothpaste back in the medicine cabinet, then closed the cabinet door. I checked the shower, a smile working its way onto my muzzle when I found it was ready, and immediately stepped in. My smile grew as I felt the hot water run over me, and sighed contentedly as its heat seemed to seep into me. I just stood there for a couple of minutes, letting the water warm me and help me forget (at least temporarily) the stress and pain of yesterday.

I opened my eyes after god knows how long, and my smile disappeared as I checked the clock and realized that the bus would be here in only a few minutes. I quickly washed myself, covering the areas that needed the most attention and figuring the water was enough for the rest, for now anyways. I tried to ignore my butterflies and focused on finishing and getting out of the house as soon as possible.

After a minute or so I stepped out and dried myself as best I could, then walked back to my room, tossing my towel at its usual place on the carpet as I did so. I grabbed whatever clothes were on top of my dresser and pulled on some navy blue boxer-briefs, blue jeans, and a purple collared shirt, my butterflies becoming more insistent with each passing moment. I then grabbed and put on my favorite accessories, my watch, yellow and green rubber bracelets, bicycle-chain necklace, my fedora, and my black Hurley jacket.

I then grabbed my shoes and slipped them on, then shoved everything I had on my desk in my backpack, which I slung over one shoulder. I stepped out of my room after I grabbed my wallet, cell phone, and house key from the little bowl I keep next to the door. I scanned the kitchen for food really quick, and saw nothing edible, which made me glad I brushed my teeth when I did. I sighed and walked over to the front door, unlocked it, and stepped outside, and closed it behind me.

How I hate living in Florida. Not only was it unbearably hot and humid on a daily basis, but having black fur made everything even worse. The sun wasn't anywhere near the horizon yet but the temperature was still in the upper seventies from yesterday. I locked the door behind me and sprinted to the front of the neighborhood, which for whatever reason is where the Department of Transportation decided to put my bus stop. Real fucking nice, thanks guys.

Fortunately, I got there just as the bus was pulling up, so I stepped into it, panting but relieved, with the butterflies of anxiety gone. The air conditioner felt amazing as I trudged up the stairs, it made me feel like I wasn't in 'the sunshine state' for once. I sat down in my usual seat two rows behind the driver. It's not that anybody sits in the front seat, I just like to distance myself from the door so I'm not disturbed when more furs get on. I immediately pulled out my iPad and plugged in my headphones. A couple minutes later I was fast asleep as usual, listening to a new album by The Prodigy.

I woke up at about 6:40 to a little tigress telling me that transfer was called. I mumbled something along the lines of 'thank you' to her and walked blearily to my other bus. On this bus I sit in the front seat since this is the one taking me to school. I ignored the usual ramblings going on by the furs sitting around me, and stared blankly out of the window, trying to wake myself up. I didn't have lots of friends at this school, but I did have a few, and we all sit at the front of the bus, despite my lack of input most mornings.

When the bus finally pulled up to school, I sighed and pulled on my backpack, and forced on my mental guise to my peers. I walked into the lunchroom, grabbed a donut and some chocolate milk from the breakfast line and sat down at a random table, and decided to play a little Angry Birds on my iPad before school officially started. Almost immediately after sitting, a group of my friends walked over and sat in the surrounding seats, and started chatting about various things, none of which I truly cared about. As I was playing Angry Birds Rio, my girlfriend, a 'fun-sized' panther with azure eyes, came up from behind my and hugged me. "Hey," I said, attempting enthusiasm

"Hey! How are you?" she asked, still attached to me.

"I'm alright," I lied. An awkward feeling grew in me and I quickly looked for a distraction, and noticed that my iPad had a low battery life. I suddenly remembered that I had forgotten to charge it last night. I tried to keep the awkwardness out of my voice as I added, "Crap, I have to go to my first period early, I have to charge my iPad."

"Okay, I'll see you later," she said, then kissed my cheek.

"Alright, see ya," I said a bit anxiously. She eyed me suspiciously for a second, but detached herself from me and I grabbed my stuff and strolled off, trying to act as if nothing was wrong. I got to room 314 in a couple of minutes only to find that the teacher wasn't there yet. So instead of going back to the lunchroom where I'd just feel weird again, I just sat down and thought about how I treated my gf. 'Why don't I want to be with her, I thought I liked her. And whenever I am with her I don't feel anything special... Maybe she's just not the girl for me... She's the closest I've ever gotten to someone, but I don't feel for her. I haven't felt for any girl I've been with... I am straight, aren't I? Of course I am. I have to be... I've got to prove it to everyone who called me a fag...'

I jumped when the bell for first period rang, snapping me out of my train of thought. I shuffled into the classroom assuring myself, 'I am straight, I am straight, girls like guys and guys like girls, repeat the mantra and eventually you'll get it...'

The school day was pretty average, I went from Statistics to Spanish to American History to Precalculus with no problem, most of my classes were pretty easy. English, on the other hand, was difficult this year, getting out of FCAT mode and into college exam mode was a hard transition, but I'm able to do it. It just takes some time is all. At lunch I had what they call 'food' but was tasted like a bunch of overly-irradiated chicken.

I ate until my insides were on fire, and looked around the lunchroom. I was with my usual group of friends, and there were other groups of furs all about the cafeteria. I tried seeing if I was interested in any of the girls here, but most of the girls were the typical high school slutty type, and the few who weren't were either the terrified freshmen, to which I chuckled a bit, or they were either not available or I wasn't interested. I awkwardly tried seeing if I was attracted to any guys at a glance, but I wasn't really sure what to look for, and I wasn't even sure if I was interested, so I quit shortly and jumped into my friends' chat over the new show 'Improv-a-ganza', and we laughed countless times over re-enacting some of the skits the comedians did.

After a while I got bored and read a bit of the science fiction book I keep with me, and before I knew it the bell rang. I yawned and tossed the uneaten part of my lunch into the trash can. I put my book back in my backpack, and headed to ROTC. From there I went to Physics, then onto my bus to my transfer station to my other bus, where I got to catch a little more sleep. My usual routine.

The bus dropped me off at the entrance to the neighborhood, and I started walking back to my house, listening to some Jonathan Coulton along the way. While I was cutting through the club house parking lot to go to the park, because God knows I'd rather not be in the same general area as my parents, I saw the lake past the park, the sunshine gleaming off the water at such an angle so that the entire lake looked like one giant pool of sunshine, which made me smile. My favorite view. Seeing that always brightens my day.

There were the usual couple of kids running around on the playground, so I walked over to the side dock and followed it to its end, where I could be alone and relax. I sat on one of the benches and stretched while yawning loudly. From here I could see the entirety of the lake, including the main dock, but on both sides of the dock there were hundreds of cattails, concealing the side dock from everyone else. I sat back against the handrail and watched the water shimmer and sway, and let my eyes droop as I smiled contentedly, and quickly fell asleep.

A short time later I woke up to a lot of yelling. It was too distant for me to distinguish the words, but I laid for a couple minutes and could tell that it was just a couple furs arguing, nothing urgent. I yawned and stood up, then walked over to the entrance of the side dock. As I rounded a turn a very large brown bear came into view, probably in his late thirties. And judging by the look on his face he was pretty pissed. As I got closer to the entrance the poor fur he was yelling at came into view. A wolf with off-white fur, he was sitting on a bench with his hands covering his face and his ears splayed back, he looked to be about the same age as me.

I felt sorry for the wolf, so I put my headphones in and went back to the dock, trying to save him what little dignity he had left at the moment. A minute or so later I felt footsteps on the dock, and looked back to see him walking up the dock, with a look of defeat across his face.