Blue Bird Egg Laying
The little blue bird Linda had felt self-conscious of her body ever since she'd discovered how birds lay eggs, as she hopped around her nest, she couldn't fight down the embarrassment of the thought of what she was about to do.
"I'm a girl, girls lay eggs," she twittered to herself, "I am a girl, girls lay eggs," she repeated, but it did nothing to calm her down, "Ohhhh!" she moaned in embarrassment, feeling all the red in her face with her wings.
She turned to the mirror to check her behind, she couldn't believe eggs were actually going to come from her... in a certain way, so embarrassing, she couldn't even.
"Okay, you can do this," she said to herself, hoping back and forth across the nest in anxiety. Her nest was fairly secluded, so fortunately she wouldn't have to worry about any other birds seeing her, but she'd heard other birds lay eggs before, and the terrible screeches they always made was more than sure to draw attention.
"Will I sound like that?" she fretted to herself.
She had never planned to lay eggs, they were just happening, no father or anything in the picture, just the embarrassment of eggs with no rhyme or reason, she guessed that was just the way with girl birds.
"Ohh," she moaned, "why do I have to be like this."
"Hey, anyone home?" she heard a bird tweet from the entrance to her nest.
Oh no, it was her boyfriend, Michael, the cutest blue bird that ever lived.
"I'm a little busy right now," she fretted, "Could you come back later?"
"I just came by to bring you some flowers, I thought they could be used beautifully to decorate your nest."
Now Linda's interest was peaked. She peaked out the door and looked at her boyfriend, he smiled so wholesomely as he held up the flowers in his talons to show her, oh they were so beautiful, Michael was such a charmer.
"Okay, come in," said Linda, "But be quick."
Michael followed her into the nest and looked around, searching for a place to put the flowers, hopefully somewhere nice.
"So, what are your plans for the day?" He asked passively.
"Oh, not much, just-" then suddenly, her stomach clinched, the eggs were COMING!
Michael was busy looking around, it took him a second to notice the pause. He turned to look at Linda, who had the most uncomfortable grimace on her face. "Linda, are you okay."
"Yes, everything's fine, thank you for stopping by, stop by again soon!" She replied frantically, flapping him toward the door. Once he was outside, she closed the door behind her.
She could've felt a rush of relief at him gone, but the moment that door closed, she felt a sharp pain clutching her stomach and gasped. Oh no, this was really happening. She rushed to the mirror to check, huge waves of self-consciousness rushing through her, her girly self was about to lay an egg.
And then the contractions hit.
Nothing prepared her for the pain that she felt at that moment, in an instant, she was squawking and screaming, flapping around her nest, trying to escape the pain that clutched her.
"HELP! STOP! LET ME GO! HELP!"
Oh, her poor self, she couldn't fathom the pain she was now facing.
"OWWWWWW!" She screamed, "LET ME GOOOOOO!"
Michael was flapping away from the nest, still in confusion about Linda's attitude, when he heard the screams. Instantly he turned around, once again facing her nest.
Every other bird in the area had too, every single one looking in the direction of the nest. The screams were horrible.
A female bird chuckled to herself, "Oh, sounds like another egg, typical egg laying behavior, you know."
As the first wave of contractions slowed, Linda landed on the floor, her rear in the air behind her, tears of pain and embarrassment welling in her eyes. Surely every bird in the forest must have heard her by now, being a girl was so embarrassing.
Suddenly, there was a knock on her door again.
"Linda? Are you okay?"
Michael. Oh why did he have to hear her like this, her in all her feminine vulnerability.
"Linda?"
"Please, just go away," she said, her voice cracking with shame, the pain had slowed for the moment, but she could still feel uncomfortable throbbing deep inside her, causing her to whimper angstily.
There was silence at the door for a moment, "Are you sure?"
Linda hesitated. As embarrassing as it was what was happening to her, she couldn't deny it sounded nice to have someone at her side at this moment, and who better than the sweetest bird she knew Michael.
"Okay, you can come in," she whimpered.
Michael opened the door to see her still folded over, her behind extended behind her, oh she was so embarrassed him seeing her like this. Michael flapped to her side and stood there beside her. "What can I do for you?" he said.
"I don't know," Linda replied pitifully, "Just make it go away."
Michael didn't know how to do that, but it didn't matter, because at that moment, the contractions picked up again, and once again, Linda was squawking and screaming and flapping like there was no tomorrow, knocking over all the flowers Michael had brought her and tearing them to shreds.
"MAKE IT STOP!" She screamed, "MAKE IT END! MAKE IT STOPPPPPPPPPPP!"
Oh the pain was so intense, she wished she was dead!
And this whole time, Michael was watching her in her feminine madness, she couldn't even with herself.
"MAKE IT STOPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!" She wailed again, throwing her head back pitifully.
And then the sharpest pain she could imagine shot through her, she shouted the filthiest curse word she knew, sending Michael reeling back a step. She never spoke like that.
Linda felt her face filling hot with shame, what had become of her dignity in all this? She was so busy feeling pity for herself, it took her a second to realize that sharp pain was her first egg.
She picked it up and held it shakily in her wings, "It's so embarrassing isn't it, me a girl laying eggs like this."
"No, no," Michael tried, "It's not embarrassing, it's natural."
"Natural or not, it's still embarrassing. Oh, I feel so embarrassed as a girl right now, why does the Universe have to put me on the spot like this?"
Michael did not know how to reply to this, instead he just said, "Well I think you're fine the way you are."
Linda couldn't keep the blush from her face. He really thought so? She still felt self-conscious about her eggs, but the fact that he thought it was nothing to be ashamed of brought a small level of confidence to her being.
But still, she could see him blushing as well, and she knew that even with his kind words, he could still feel the embarrassment in the room at her predicament.
"Why do girls have to be like this," She asked.
"I don't know" Michael admitted, "but I hope you understand it doesn't make you any lesser of yourself."
"I know," she said, "but still..."
She couldn't finish because just then, she felt the next egg coming on.
The contraction hit, and once again she was squawking and screaming, "WHY ME! WHY ME!" She knew this happened to all girl birds at some point, but why HER! "PLEASE! MAKE IT STOP!" She screamed. But Michael couldn't make it stop, he could only watch as she was continually clutched in the angst of her girly pain. She didn't care what Michael had said anymore, she was a girl, and her girliness was embarrassing.
"Why me?" She whimpered again as it began to calm down, "Why me?"
Michael did not have the answers.
Linda felt her face flushing as she felt the pain kicking on again, knowing exactly what would come next. But still, she could not contain herself. "MY CLOACA!" She screamed, even though she had hoped never to use that word, especially in relation to herself, "MY CLOACA!" She screamed again. And then another of the most filthy words she could think of, and the other egg was all out.
She felt teas of hot shame feeling her eyes again, "Oh why are girls so embarrassing?" She asked for the umpteenth time.
Michael didn't bother denying it, he realized it probably wouldn't help her any anyway, "I don't know," he admitted.
And so it continued as Linda laid the rest of her eggs, it was painful and loud, and by the time she was done, not a single animal in the forest didn't know that she'd laid some eggs. The whole time, Linda just begged for relief, but very little came, it was too much pain for a little bird like her to take, but yet she took it anyway, it was just not fair. During the time, she also shouted many horrible things she could never take back, and she would never be okay with herself knowing that she had.
But finally she finished, dripping with sweat, and thoroughly exhausted, she was finished. She looked at the pile of eggs unable to forget the embarrassing way they had come from her.
"Why?" asked Linda, face growing ever redder as she realized that Michael was still there to witness it all, "why?"
"I don't know," Michael said again.
But then, in her overwhelming embarrassment, Linda began to Twitter, "Why?" she asked again, but this time a rising humor in her tone. Through all the embarrassment, it finally hit her how ridiculous this whole scenario was, how ridiculous it was for a girl to lay eggs, and through that ridiculousness, her embarrassment transformed into pure self-conscious humor. "Why me?!" She cried hysterically.
And with that, she crumpled to the floor, laughing in a hysteric fit of madness. She had been so embarrassing in her girliness and her boyfriend had been there to see it all, it had been so hilarious, she couldn't even with herself.
Michael once again stood there blushing, not sure how to respond to this, but glad that his girlfriend was finally starting to feel some positivity over her circumstance.
And as she lay there crumpled in laughter, she Twittered her embarrassment away into humor. Only a girl could feel as amused with her own body as she did now, and it was then she realized, perhaps it wasn't always such a bad thing to be a girl after all.