Gidget Lays an Egg
What is it like to lay an egg? Gidget thought dreamily as she looked at a picture of Max and her on the wall.
Gidget had seen a girl bird the other day lay an egg after falling in love with a boy bird, and it was from that moment that Gidget knew laying an egg was the ultimate sign of romance.
"Dogs don't lay eggs," Chloe had informed her when she mentioned it to her.
"Yes they do," Gidget said with determination, "_I_will. I will do it for Max!"
Chloe just rolled her eyes.
After that, Gidget went about trying to figure out how to lay that egg.
She knew only girls laid eggs, and she looked at the back half of herself. Check. That was one step down. Max would be so proud of her. No way he wouldn't find completing that step attractive.
Gidget watched many birds. Unfortunately, birds don't just always lay eggs on sight.
So she turned on the documentaries. Fortunately, from there, it was easy to see how birds laid eggs.
Gidget looked at her back end and shook her tail. Was that how the egg got here. It was such a perfect place. Explained why the first step was so necessary. Max would be so charmed. She jumped to a mirror and gave her little bottom a shake. She was so proud of herself. Max was so lucky to have her.
So now came the hard part. Gidget skipped over to her nest (fortunately she had her own doggy bed, so she didn't need to make one out of twigs and leaves) to start laying. She pushed, she heaved, she willed it with everything she got, but nothing was happening.
"Gidget?" Gidget startled as Max came into the window. "What are you doing?"
Gidget tried to regain her composure, feeling a little awkward all of a sudden, "Oh, uh, just trying to lay an egg."
Max looked at her, "Dogs don't lay eggs."
Gidget sat there awkwardly a second. Maybe Max was right...
Gidget opened her mouth to speak...
And then suddenly, a sharp pain overtook her abdomen.
Gidget yelped, falling over onto her side.
"Gidget!" Max called, rushing to her side.
Gidget suddenly felt sharp contractions rushing through her. She cried out, it was unbearable.
"What's happening?" Max asked.
But it was then Gidget knew, "I'm laying an egg!"
It was much more painful than she imagined, she rolled on her back, threw her legs in the air, flailing, as if desperately trying to swim away from the pain, but of course she couldn't swim upside down.
"Help!" She screamed, "It hurts!"
But the pain wouldn't stop, contraction after contraction, Gidget howled miserably. This was not as romantic as she'd thought.
Max was jumping around in confusion, "What can I do to help?" He asked, "What do you need me to do?"
Gidget felt another contraction and screamed, she rolled back onto her front legs and shoved her bottom into the air. Max couldn't help but feel his face turn red.
"From there?" Max asked, looking self-conscious.
Gidget despite her pain, couldn't help but blush as well and nodded. She hoped Max found her the cutest thing on this planet right now.
But then suddenly, another sharp contraction struck. Gidget screamed, flailed her front paws. Nothing had ever felt this painful in the history of all that ever was. "LET ME DIE!" Gidget screamed.
Max felt faint. The egg was almost as big as her, there was no way any dog could feel that and be alright.
Gidget continued to scream, the egg wasn't even halfway. There was no relief, not even a pause from the pain. Nothing this big had ever come from a dog so small.
"HELP!" She begged, "HELP!" But she just kept feeling it, she whimpered, she whined, nothing could spare this poor doggo in this moment. "HELPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!" She screamed.
And then poof, the egg was laid.
Gidget turned to look at Max proudly, "Ta-da!"
Then feeling the most exhaustion a girl like her could feel in her most embarrassing place, she felt her face flushing red, and then she fainted.
"Hope you liked it," were Gidget's last words in that moment. She was proud to be a girl.
Max just stood there rethinking his entire existence.