The Sweet Stench of Intestinal Gas (Part 2/2)
#5 of Isle and his Gassy Adventures
Re-upload from FA continuing where the previous chapter left off. Isle's night continues as he finds an anthro version of Red XIII heading over to a building Lucario and Kimahri are staying at. It just so happens they all have a serious case of flatulence, and somewhere down the line he becomes the judge of a fart contest the trio has.
:iconIsleTiyanay: guest stars.
The Sweet Stench of Intestinal Gas (Part 2/2)
"Okay, okay I'm sure I can find them all under one roof. It's not like those guys all have some war against each other because they're not part of the same game series. Well, maybe Kimahri and Red XIII are friends, but I'm not sure they like Lucario, since furries allegedly draw him too damn much already. Hopefully they won't mind me and my bizarre...preferences." said Isle to himself.
Isle was busy walking down the street after having fun with Komamura back at home, making sure he cleaned up all the stains they both left. He was hoping by the time he got back his living room would still reek of all the gas the giant wolf expelled. But for now, he was gonna search for Lucario and the others and hope that all three of them had a bit of wind in their colon.
"Damn, now that I think about it, finding these guys in a city full of furries are gonna be tough. If only I had some dog whistle or a mystical horn I can use to call Kimahri over here..."
Just then, a wayward soccer ball fell from the sky and landed right in front of Isle, bouncing on the sidewalk twice before landing right at his feet. He looked down at the white and black sphere and looked up at the sky, trying to discover the source from which the soccer ball came. The hedgewolf merely shrugged and looked back down at the soccer ball.
"Hmm..."
Without thinking or even wondering why he was doing it, Isle took a few steps back before charging at the ball and kicking it using all of the strength in his right leg. The ball soared through the air like a comet or a bullet being fired straight from a sniper rifle, and the impact felt the same when it clocked a furry in the head. Isle heard the ball bounce off the furry's skull, but he was too far away to figure out who kicked it at him, so he just jerked his head around and let out two fierce barks before growling and attempting to figure out who launched the projectile at him. However, after looking back for the next thirteen seconds, he saw no one there and thought the perpetrator was just another asshole trying to piss him off, so he shook his head and ignored it. Isle observed the furry for a little while as he walked away and realized that, ironically, it was Red XIII, a bipedal version of him anyway, and rather sexy version. He had the dark red fur and brown hair that went down to his back, the markings and symbols on his triceps and calf muscles, the tiny flame on the end of his tail, everything. Isle gasped as he saw him walk into a building and close the door behind him before looking up at the sky again, still wondering where the soccer ball came from.
"...You know what? I'm just gonna roll with that and say this was a coincidence."
The hedgewolf chased after Red XIII and followed him inside the building, confident he'd find Lucario and Kimahri in there too. The inside of the building wasn't exactly welcoming, judging by a few holes in the walls and a few flies that were buzzing around Isle's head. He swatted a few of them away before he began to follow the red creature down the hallway, his feet pressing gently on the green carpet that covered the corridor. Unfortunately for Isle, the floor was made of wood, so it would be easy for him to be spotted if he stepped on the wrong plank and it decided to creak. But as it was, he was in the clear.
"Man, I hope Lucario and Kimahri didn't snatch the last pork chop I had sitting on my plate."
Red XIII lifted his head high into the air and took a huge whiff before exhaling loudly with his mouth watering.
"Oh yeah, I can still smell the food we ate from here."
The bipedal beast got on all fours and started running down the corridor and up a set of stairs, with Isle trailing behind him. Maybe it was all a coincidence, or perhaps it was luck that all of this was happening, but that didn't dismiss the fact that Isle was here due to a random soccer ball landing at his feet, and the fact that Kimahri and Lucario were here as well and just finished eating dinner was an even BIGGER coincidence. But the hedgewolf just shrugged in his mind and was grateful for the opportunity that presented itself, since he knew his chances of meeting all three of them simultaneously was rare. He followed Red down the second floor hallway until he arrived at Room 924 and the beast stopped running, standing on his legs and preparing to open the door. Isle knew that bursting into the room and introducing himself would be rude and Red XIII would suggest that he was stalking him... Okay, so maybe he was stalking him, but he was doing it in a good way, kind of. He wasn't a furry who planned on butt raping the trio (not that any of them would let him, especially Kimahri) or a serial killer who'd bludgeon them all to death with a shovel and chop their bodies to bits. Besides, Isle liked these guys, especially Kimahri, even if some considered him to be a grouch. Isle exhaled and approached Red from behind, trying to act casual as possible.
"Don't I know you?"
Red yelped and turned around, staring at the hedgewolf with black fur.
"Um, no? Not personally, anyway. I know damn well I don't know you."
"Hey, hey, no need to get hostile. My name's Isle. I was walking in the neighborhood and I wanted to say hi-"
"Are you that guy who clocked me in the temple with a soccer ball?"
"No!" Isle spat.
"And now that you mention it, how'd you find me here? Are you stalking me?"
"MAYBE!!!" he shouted.
Red blinked. "You're not one of those demented fanboys, who has every bit of merchandise with my face on it locked away in your room, are you?"
"NO!! What's with all the questions Red? I was walking down the street and I thought your face looked familiar so I followed you here since I heard Kimahri and Lucario were also in town. I was gonna ask you if you knew where they were."
Red scratched his chin. "That's funny, considering that they're in the room I'm staying in. We just got done eating and...son of a bitch!!" said Red, kicking the door in.
Once Red stepped inside the apartment, he whined loudly once he looked forward at the table and noticed his plate was bare, indicating Kimahri or Lucario ate his final pork chop. The apartment they were staying in was a major improvement from the corridors of the complex, but Isle noticed that there were empty boxers of take out food scattered all over the table, some were even on the floor. Most of it looked like Chinese food or pizza boxes, but Isle caught a glimpse of Buffalo wings and ribs as well. Kimahri was sitting on the chair next to the couch, which had Lucario sprawled all over it; he was lying on his back, letting the food digest. As Isle stepped inside, he couldn't help but stare at the giant blue feline with gray hair and a severed horn. He was wearing his traditional and colorful loin cloth and had armor around his arms and below the calf muscle. He looked majestic and menacing all at once, probably because he was beaming his yellow eyes directly at Isle and growling in his throat.
"I see why you told us not to eat that pork chop of yours Red...you added too many spices to it." moaned Lucario.
"Exactly! I'm the only one with the taste buds to tolerate a pork chop such as that and you ate it!" he whined again.
Isle took a few more steps inside and chuckled timidly. "Uh, hi." he said, waving.
Isle didn't even see Kimahri charging towards him until he heard the feline snarl at him and get on all fours, walking towards him like a feral bobcat ready to maul its prey. Isle naturally gasped and began to walk backwards.
"Hey, hey, hey relax Kimahri, he's fine. I think he stalked me all the way over here, but he's not here to kill us!"
Lucario rolled off the couch and huffed as he stood on his two feet, walking over towards the hedgewolf. "Perhaps I should scan his Aura in order to determine if he's really a being of good nature, or if he's hostile."
"YES!! Yes, that is a perfect idea Lucario! Now scan me before the oversized kitty rips my face off." said Isle frantically, still backing away from Kimahri.
The Pokemon walked over to Isle and observed him very closely before he made an Aura ball with both of his hands. Instead of shooting the ball at Isle and attacking him, he used his telepathic powers so the ball would hover around Isle's head and orbit his body a couple of times. Once Lucario was satisfied, he made the ball disintegrate and watched its particles combine with the air.
"Stand down Kimahri. This one seems to be pure at heart."
The Ronso turned around and looked at Lucario for a few seconds before staring at Isle again and rising to his feet, giving the hedgewolf some space. Isle exhaled with relief and walked inside the apartment.
"Wait a second; we never said you could join us at our living quarters. Why should we let you stay?" asked Red.
"Uh...uh...because I'm a...hero...kind of."
"A hero?"
"Yeah! And heroes should stick together, right?"
"What hero are you?"
"Hello?!? You see the giant quills on my head? They remind you of a certain blue hedgehog?"
Kimahri, Lucario and Red XIII all blinked.
"I'm Sonic! ...Kind of. Well, I have some of the powers that he has, such as being able to curl up into a ball and roll around, plus I can run extremely fast if the situation calls for it. See, watch!"
Isle bent down and grunted until he was only a two foot tall ball of black fur with his spiky quills sticking out, pointing at the trio. Red blinked a few times and pushed Isle backwards with his foot and watched as he rolled along the floor perfectly. Isle uncoiled himself and stood up.
"See what I mean?"
"Although I do not see what is so special about rolling around like a basketball, I suppose there's nothing wrong with you joining us for a few hours, since you are a 'hero' after all." said Red, closing the door.
"But I can do more stuff! I don't just spend my time rolling around in a balled up formation! I have super strength...kind of, and I ran run fast!"
"What do you mean by 'kind of' have super strength?" asked Lucario.
"Well, I've never tried picking up a car or a bus or a building, if that's what you're asking."
Lucario and Red XIII sat down on the couch while Kimahri took his seat over on the chair right next to the couch, all three of them staring at the hedgewolf.
"Okay then. Let's see the other super powers you claim to possess Isle." said Red.
Isle immediately bent down and picked up the wooden table loaded with empty containers that used to contain food with ease. To Isle, the table only weighed about as much as a feather or an empty box. The hedgewolf managed to raise a few eyebrows, but it clearly wasn't enough to impress the gang, so he threw the table down and curled back up into a ball. Only this time, he started to spin himself around and around like he was a tire, gaining acceleration and burning a hole through the floor.
"Um, is that normal?" asked Red.
"I suggest all of us take cover."
Isle shot across the floor like an arrow that had just been fired from a bow. His body reacted the same way as well, and ricocheted off the door, leaving a small dent in it. Everyone shouted and hit the floor, covering their heads as Isle bounced all over the walls like he was the ball in a game of pinball, afraid of getting hit by the large, black projectile. They weren't sure how fast he was going, but Lucario could sense a strong presence within Isle, plus he noticed several dents in the floor, ceiling and wall from where his body struck. The Pokemon knew anyone in the line of fire would take serious damage, as the effects would feel like taking a cannonball to the ribcage. Perhaps he was powerful enough to be considered a hero.
"ISLE!! ISLE WE GET IT! STOP BOUNCING THROUGH THE DAMN APARTMENT!!"
The hedgewolf landed on the floor of the apartment and uncoiled, brushing some of the plaster and dust from his fur and clothes and staring at the three heroes.
"Well, it seems you have much talent. Perhaps you really are worthy of being called a hero...in some sense." admitted Red.
"Thank you." said Isle, sitting down next to Kimahri.
The blue feline turned his head towards Isle and blinked a few times before mumbling something under his breath and turning away, still unsure of whether or not he should trust him.
"While you are here Isle, I don't suppose you have any method of ridding bloating and intestinal pain, do you?" asked Lucario.
Isle smiled widely as a light bulb went off in his head. He had the furries right in his paw.
"Chances are you guys have a bad case of gas, or flatus as some furries call it. It's probably from all the food you ate before I entered. I believe the best option here would be to pass all of it out your anus as soon as possible."
"Are you asking us to break wind so we can relieve ourselves?"
"Hey, what other option do you have here? If you hold it in, it'll just sit in your bowels and come out later, probably at an undesirable moment. Since no one else is in here besides the four of us, and since we're sealed away in this room, maybe it's for the best."
Red XIII started to laugh and giggle to himself like he was an adolescent child before extending a finger over to Lucario.
"Hey, pull my finger!"
Lucario sighed and rolled his eyes while Isle smiled and waited for the Pokemon to yank his claw.
"Now why would I fall for one of the oldest pranks in the book Red?"
"Because it's funny!" said Isle and Red simultaneously.
"See, this guy gets what I'm saying! Here, why don't you pull it?"
"I'd be glad to." said Isle, leaning forward to grab Red's finger once he got off the couch and approached him.
As Isle and Lucario predicted, Red leaned forward and ripped a loud, nasty fart from his rear shortly after raising his flamed tail. It wasn't wet, but it sure did stink and made Lucario groaned and cover his nose with both paws. Kimahri didn't seem fazed by the gesture, while Isle leaned forward and sniffed the gas deeply, laughing and waving a paw in front of his nose. Red slapped his knee and started howling hysterically, clearly a fan of toilet humor.
"HAHA, looks like I still got it!!" chuckled Red.
"Still have what? It obviously isn't your maturity." sneered Lucario.
"Oh, stop whining over a little bit of foul air! It's not like you've never passed gas before! And would you prefer that I-"
Kimahri abruptly leaned over to his right with his tail raised and expelled a nasty, wet fart from his anus, right in Isle's direction. It lasted for quite some time-nearly eight seconds-and left an intolerable stench in the room, one that even outstank Red's fart. The weird thing was Kimahri's expression didn't change at all. He still had the angry, somewhat bored glare on his face as he was passing gas, and even after he farted, he just leaned back into place and huffed with his arms still crossed. Everyone stared at Kimahri with wide eyes, shocked that he would do something such as farting without a care. Isle knew deep down the odor was bugging Kimahri, as he kept wiggling his nose and was furiously wagging his tail, trying to wave the stink away. Red naturally fell to the floor and started howling wildly again, laughing so hard someone could consider he sounded like a hyena. Lucario still had his nose plugged and Kimahri was still wiggling his nose, not caring. Isle was secretly taking huge whiffs of the gas and trying not to show any blissful emotion from doing so.
"I thought you were one who didn't pass gas in public?" asked Lucario.
"Kimahri has gas. How else will Kimahri get rid of it?" he asked.
"HAHAHAHA!!! You see, even Kimahri agrees with my methods here! C'mon Lucario, have a go at it!"
"Have a go at what?"
"Y'know...let the flatus out. I know with how bloated you seem you must have some gas in your bowels, right?" said Isle.
"Yes, I suppose you're right. And we are the only ones here so..."
Lucario shut his eyes and gritted his teeth, grunting for a long time before the gas started to come out. It didn't sound as loud as Kimahri's fart, but it was sputtering non-stop like bubble wrap popping, and Isle couldn't ignore how foul it stank. He inhaled several times and sighed again, Kimahri glancing at him with a raised eyebrow. Lucario's fart was even strong enough to stop Red from laughing, and he quickly scooted away with his nose plugged.
"Whew!! That's some strong Aura you got there pal!"
Lucario chuckled softly. "Don't mention it."
Kimahri groaned as his stomach gurgled and he grabbed his torso with both hands in order to settle himself down. It obviously didn't work and he leaned forward to pass a little more gas. It was just a few short bursts at first, but after a brief moment Kimahri leaned over with his eyes shut and inhaled sharply, expelling a juicy fart from his anus that lasted for quite some time. It wasn't as loud as the first but it definitely sounded more grotesque. Isle imagined himself stepping in a bucket full of wet sponges and frogs as he farted. The large feline exhaled after he finished before letting out another two squeaky ones afterwards. Isle literally had to restrain himself from bending over and groping Kimahri's ass right then and there (mostly because he thought the Ronso would find the gesture hostile and attack him) and took a huge whiff of the malodorous flatus. He murred softly with his tongue hanging out before Red's infamous laughter resumed, and Lucario couldn't help but stare at Isle, wondering why he was enjoying the smell so much.
"WHOO!! I don't know what smells worse: my farts or Kimahri's!" he laughed.
"I disagree; my flatulence is fouler than both of yours combined. I did eat your pork chop, remember." said Lucario.
"Kimahri disagrees. Kimahri thinks Lucario gas is far less superior to Red and Kimahri's."
"You tell him Ronso!"
"Why is Red laughing? Kimahri gas is better than Red's too."
Red's laugher began to cease and he suddenly frowned. "Let's not go crazy. Sure your farts are better than Lucario's, but there's no chance in Hell they're better than mine."
"What makes Red say this?"
Red turned around and raised his tail, pointing his ass in Kimahri's face and letting out a loud one. Unfortunately for Red, his gas didn't stink and it only lasted for two or three seconds. Needless to say, neither Kimahri nor Lucario was impressed, although Isle still couldn't help but giggle and take a small whiff.
"See? Mine are so much better than yours!"
"I don't think so Red." said Lucario.
"Hey guys,"
"Shut up Isle. That one doesn't count!"
"Yes it does."
"No it doesn't Lucario!"
"Kimahri still think Kimahri gas is better than Red and Lucario's."
"No, mine is better!"
"GUYS!!! Maybe I should be the one who decides whose gas is the best."
Everyone turned around to look at Isle. "What do you mean?"
"I mean I should be the one who judges which one of your farts smells the worst, or best, whichever way you wanna look at it."
"Why you?" asked Lucario.
"Because I'm an expert when it comes to sniffing and judging flatus. I should know, I have a..."
"Have a what?"
Isle was about to say "fart fetish" but he didn't want to gross out three of his favorite farters so he stopped himself.
"Uh, have a bunch of friends who have a knack for passing gas. Like my friends Frisby and Stone Analspray!"
"To clarify, you're asking us to fart on you just so you can judge what our farts smell like?"
"Yeah, if it'll help put an end to this argument! It's not like I'll mind; my nose has an exceedingly high tolerance for rancid odors. I'm used to the smell of gas. Besides, I think it's funny when furries fart."
"Hmm...if you don't object to the idea, then we're okay with it." said Lucario.
"I'm fine with someone judging my farts."
"Kimahri agrees."
Isle smiled devilishly in his mind. His plan had worked and now, three of his best farters were going to blow all of their intestinal gas in his face. Even better was that he would be the one to judge them, and they wouldn't find him weird for doing so.
"Alright then, let's get started! Who wants to go first?"
Red XIII's belly grumbled loudly and his face became contorted as he tried to hold his flatulence in. The red beast stood in front of Isle and raised his tail, grunting with a few fists made as he let out a sharp fart. It was very loud and mesmerizing, capable of blowing dirt and dust off a flat surface. The only problem was that the fart didn't last very long, nor did it have a foul odor.
"Red, you were supposed to fart in my direction, not Lucario's."
"I know." he said, grinning.
"Anyway, it's not bad-it's very loud, I'll say that-but it's not exactly as smelly as I thought it'd be."
"Awww." he whined.
"OK, next!"
Lucario walked in front of Isle after Red sat down and turned around, squatting with his paws pressed against his knees. The Pokemon sighed and let his bowels do the rest of his work, pushing out a low-pitched, sputtering gas bubble that lasted for six seconds and warmed the air with its methane. The hedgewolf leaned forward and took two whiffs of the gas before sighing with glee.
"Oh yeah, reminds me of beans and digested eggplants."
"THAT WASN'T EVEN VERY LOUD!!!" protested Red.
"But it stinks; otherwise Kimahri wouldn't be holding his nose."
Red glanced over at the Ronso and noticed he was frowning and plugging his nose with his left paw. Lucario looked over at the feline and chuckled with a smirk on his face.
"Kimahri turn now." he said, bumping past Lucario as he went to go sit back down.
The blue cat didn't waste anytime with his gas and immediately lifted his tail to fart in Isle's face for five seconds, the noise level roughly as loud as Lucario's fart. But then, Kimahri took two steps backwards so his ass was a little closer to the hedgewolf and he squeezed out a louder, stinkier fart from his rear. This was as loud as Red's fart and stank as bad as Lucario's, a perfect combination Isle was looking for. He leaned forward to smell the flatus, murring rather loudly before Kimahri bent down so his butt was almost touching Isle's nose. Then he farted yet again, a nasty, low-pitched wet one that smelled terrible. It was one of the ones Isle would smell whenever his friend Zearoth or Frisby had to take a massive shit, the kind of farts that smell like diarrhea, or foreshadow it pouring out your bowels in the next half-hour. Isle coughed a couple of times and backed away, waving a paw in front of his face.
"Goddamn Kimahri, why don't you just take a shit while you're at it!" groaned Red with disgust.
The feline growled at Red and returned to his chair.
"Wait a minute, who's winning?" asked Lucario.
Isle coughed again. "I didn't realize this was a contest, but so far, Kimahri."
"That isn't fair. Kimahri broke wind for you three times in a row. So far we've only done it once."
"Did I say you have no more chances to redeem yourself?"
Lucario and Red XIII quickly rose to their feet and approached the hedgewolf for their next turn. The Pokemon volunteered to go first and promptly squatted down in front of Isle, sticking his butt out a little. He grunted with his eyes shut and teeth clenched before letting out a moderate sounding fart that lasted for a few seconds. But then, Lucario hiked up his leg and expelled a gusty, silent fart that smelled like swamp gas and made everyone in the room plug their nose and recoil. The Pokemon smiled slyly and the silent fart suddenly became obnoxious, like a child blowing a raspberry, and the stench didn't cease either.
"COUGH!! Okay, I say the score is tied now, although I haven't seen any improvement in Red's score yet."
"Only because I haven't gone yet! Watch what happens after I let this out!"
Red stood in front of Isle with his back turned and raised his tail, squatting and grunting intensely as his stomach gurgled very loudly. Like the hedgewolf predicted, the beast let out a chaotic fart that could be compared to a miniature hurricane (Isle had to keep his feet glued to the floor so he wasn't pushed back) but there was little to no odor. But that was just for the first fart. The second one was a different story. Red XIII bent down a little more and produced a fart of the same caliber. The only difference was that the stench was almost as repugnant as sulfuric acid, maybe even worse. Isle had no problem with the smell, but when someone blasts something that strong at him with so much force, there's only so much he can take. Red farted for fifteen seconds and ended his gas attack with a sharp poot before sighing triumphantly and laughing as he watched Lucario and Kimahri wave a paw in front of their noses with disgust.
"BEAT THAT!!!" he challenged.
Lucario coughed a few times and stood up. "What if we sat directly on your face and passed gas? Is it possible that could increase our chances of determining who has the foulest flatulence?"
Isle's ears perked. "You guys are offering to not only give me a close-up whiff of your smelly posteriors, but to give me a whiff of your asses AND fart directly on my face?"
"Why? Do you have a problem with that?"
"Absolutely not." he said quickly, before Lucario could even finish.
The Pokemon held his stomach again as it churned loudly at him and groaned. "I better go first this time; it feels like a big one!"
Isle proceeded to lie down on the floor on his back, waiting for the Pokemon to come over and sit on his face. Lucario rushed over to the hedgewolf and plopped his bulbous ass cheeks smack dab over his muzzle and face, covering most of it with his ass. Isle had to admit that the guy had a smooth, sleek ass that was worthy of being rimmed. He just wanted to reach up and squeeze the left cheek and feel his fingers melt into the flesh. But despite how soft and sleek it was, Lucario's ass smelled terrible. It wasn't just musky-Isle was expecting that-but it also had a foul odor of beans and some odd form of slime. Luckily, his ass was clean so it didn't reek of shit. Anyway, after his stomach grumbled for a few more seconds, Lucario cocked his right leg in the air and leaned to the left, letting out a giant fart that was muffled by Isle's face. The hedgewolf muttered something underneath his ass before taking a strong whiff of it and jolting a little. It made his ass smell fouler than before, and the fart had a strong, musky odor to it. Of course, the notorious stench of old bologna and rotten eggs were there too, but Isle couldn't help but detect the musk. Once Lucario was done farting for twelve seconds, he leaned forward and let out a squeaky, sputtering fart with a tamer odor, and sighed heavily. Lucario was about to rise from the hedgewolf's face when he felt more intestinal gas being pushed through the anus by the sphincters. The Pokemon was chuckling softly to himself with a sly grin on his maw as he delivered more toxic gas to Isle's olfaction. This fart reeked like swamp gas again, plus it was wet and Isle's nose felt mysteriously moist as the gas began to come out. The fun was short lived though, and the fart only lasted for at most, five seconds.
"Does that smell funky hedgewolf?" asked Lucario as he rose from Isle.
Isle murred very loudly and couldn't stop taking huge whiffs of the gas, currently in some sort of gaseous trance.
"Oooooohhhhhh yeeesssss...that was very nice."
"Yeah, his may have been funky, but mine will burn the hair right out of your nose!" shouted Red XIII.
The red beast walked over to Isle and sat on his face, wiggling his ass playfully. Isle was surprised that his ass hardly stank at all. Sure, it had that tame, musk scent, but other than that, it smelled clean. Not only that, but it was smoother than Lucario's butt and reminded Isle of polished shoes or the exterior a new muscle car. Isle restrained himself from biting or rimming Red's butt, but he was having a hard time, and he actually opened his mouth a few times. His maw quickly snapped shut once Red let out a bombastic fart right on his head, the smell going in his mouth. Like all of his others it was loud enough to shatter glass or a rotten plank in the floor. To Isle's surprise the stench of it was rather foul, like gorilla shit and skunk oil combined. Not only that but it was very hot and spicy; Isle's eyes were burning from the noxious fumes. Maybe the heat was a side-effect of his fiery tail; maybe it was something else. All Isle knew was that the fart was loud, hot, and smelled horrible. Luckily, it was not intolerable, not for the hedgewolf, at least. To others they would've taken out a can of Febreze by now or covered their nose with their shirts or sweaters. He was pinned under the smooth, astoundingly not stinky, rump for twenty seconds or so before Red XIII exhaled with much force and stopped passing gas.
"PHEW!! Good thing I ate all that spicy food, eh guys?!"
"Yeah. Lucky you." said Lucario, his face buried in a couch cushion.
"Kimahri's turn." said the blue feline.
Red XIII lifted his rump from Isle's face, giving him a few seconds of fresh air before Kimahri went over and plopped his muscular derriere flat on his face as well. Despite how much Isle loved the way his ass looked, it sure didn't feel the same way, and it damn well didn't smell the same. Kimahri's ass wasn't clean-it didn't smell like it was anyway-and the smell almost made Isle gag. Plus his fur was rather rough and coarse and irritated his face like someone was stroking a prickly brush against his cheeks. Maybe Kimahri's butt was just naturally musky. Maybe he recently took a dump and forgot to wipe his ass. Maybe his ass just stank from all the wet farts he let out earlier. Whatever the reason was, Isle couldn't help but marvel at the foul stench. But it wasn't until Kimahri started breaking wind that he really started to marvel. His fart sounded immensely wet, like he was sharting himself heavily (he wasn't, but it sounded like it) and Isle was certain his face was becoming moist. Hopefully, it wouldn't leave an abnormal brown stain on his nose, but he wasn't counting on it. The smell of it was reminiscent of diarrhea again, mixed with vinegar or another form of acid. Once Kimahri was done with the first fart, which lasted five seconds, he grunted with his eyes shut and teeth grit and expelled a noise so nasty out of his butt Isle didn't even know it could be possible. It could've been mistaken for farting underwater with how wet it was. Isle felt his quills fluttered in the funky breeze and couldn't decide whether or not he was experiencing bliss or some erotic torture. It was definitely torture for Red and Lucario, who were both burying their heads into a couch cushion. Kimahri's gas wasn't spicy and didn't burn his eyes like Red's did, but the wet feeling it was leaving on his face wasn't any better, and his ass was stinking something fierce, like a septic tank. But lucky for Isle, he only had to endure the odor for half a minute before Kimahri finished. The blue feline looked down at Isle and rubbed his ass in his face some more to bury the stink in his fur before rising from the floor to join Red and Lucario. Isle murred loudly and coughed a few times, wiping the butt sweat from his face and sniffling a couple of times.
"Y'know Kimahri, you should really take a bath sometime."
Kimahri growled.
"Not-not that I hate how much your ass stinks. But seriously...you should work on that."
"So, out of all three of us, which do you believe has the deadliest gas?" asked Lucario.
Isle scratched the back of his head. "Maybe I can determine the winner if all three of you pass gas simultaneously. Y'know, because the one with the rankest gas will be able to overpower the other two with ease, right?"
"That actually sounds like a good idea!"
"Definitely."
"If Red and Lucario are capable of accepting defeat."
"Ah, shut up Kimahri!" shouted Red.
Red XIII, Kimahri, and Lucario all turned around and squatted down a little, aiming their smelly rumps at the hedgewolf and waiting for the intestinal gas to reach their anuses. Isle smiled widely and stepped closer to the trio, his nose open wide.
"Okay, let me started the countdown: 3...2...1..."
After the pause, the furries raised their tails high and blasted their trumpet sounding gas at Isle, the noise and stench amplified threefold. He could see all of their asses jiggling as the farts rumbled against the inside of their butt cheeks. The room quickly heated to a temperature capable of melting a giant block of ice in a few seconds. The noise was so loud a few of the furries in the adjacent apartments heard the disturbance and was wondering why the floor was shaking a little. The smell of all three of them combined-Lucario's eggy, swamp gas farts, Red's spicy farts, and Kimahri's diarrhea scented gas-was enough to make a skunk's face turn green. Isle somehow managed to tolerate the giant blast of wind and merely stood in the line of fire, his nostrils flared widely. It lasted for roughly twelve seconds before all of them sighed and let their butts relax, while Isle continued to sniff and determine his answer.
"So who's the winner?"
"I'm gonna need another blast guys! So far I can't figure out whose smell worse!"
The trio shrugged and raised their tails again, sticking their asses out some more and grunting this time with their fists made. They passed gas again with the same stench as before, same loudness and force as well. The only difference was that they seemed to be forcing it out this time instead of letting it come out naturally. That, and Isle was standing behind both of them, his body suddenly closer to the gang. He knew his eyes were watering from Red's gas and he knew Kimahri's gas smelled straight up like shit, but he didn't care. He just couldn't stop marveling at the overwhelming, euphoric smell of all three gases. When they finished twenty seconds later, Isle was too busy huffing the odor like it was lines of cocaine, as though he were trying to get high from the smell.
"Ahhh...oh yessss...do it again!"
"Actually, we're almost out of gas, so if you could hurry-"
"DO IT!" shouted Isle.
Lucario groaned loudly and sighed heavily, gritting his teeth and making fists again along with the others. Using the last bit of strength in their lower intestines, the trio blasted repugnant ass gas at Isle like there was no tomorrow. It wasn't as strong as the previous two, but it was enough for Isle's taste, and it was still loud enough to leave a few cracks in the wall. The hedgewolf held his head high and inhaled the rancid goodness vehemently, chuckling and murring in an almost crazed manner. He looked forward at the trio's asses and observed their butt cheeks jiggling again. Losing all control, his jaw started to hang down and drool was dripping out the corner of his mouth. After the intense and smelly gas attack, Lucario, Kimahri, and Red XIII ended the fart fest with three squeaky poots and sighed heavily, all of them waving a paw in front of their noses.
"Alright, that's it. All of us are out of gas now. Which one of us has the rankest farts?" asked Red.
Isle snorted and snapped out of his trance. "Huh, what?"
"Who's the goddamn winner?!!?"
"Uh..."
Isle scratched his head. On Lucario's side, he had loud farts and smelly ones, but his farts sounded like a regular one you hear on TV. There was nothing really special about them, short of the fact they came out of a smelly ass and stank like swamp gas, but that was it. They weren't necessarily unique. On Red's side, his farts didn't even smell that much, but they were definitely the loudest. The only problem was that they were also hot, and capable of making someone's vision go away for a few hours, maybe even days. And then there was Kimahri, who had both loud and smelly ones as well. But, unlike Lucario's, his smelled a bit too strong. Isle didn't mind the smell of his farts, but there were times where he thought the feline would just shart all over him. Maybe it was because he didn't trust Isle, but either way, his farts stank a helluva lot more than usual. Not only that but they were wet, and Kimahri's butt wasn't a hygienic ass to be under.
"Uh...Kumahrio XII?"
"Who the hell is that?"
"I'm saying you all have your own special talents when it comes to farting, so maybe you should stop fighting and give each other credit for what you can accomplish. For instance, Red has the loudest, hottest farts. Lucario has the moderate, but still funky ones. Kimahri has the particularly rank and...nasty ones."
"Kimahri still think Kimahri's were the best."
"No, mine were!" protested Lucario.
"Like I said, you all have your own strengths and weaknesses when it comes to flatulence, but all of them were overall nice to hear and smell."
"Well, thank you for judging such a ridiculous contest."
"It's my pleasure. Anyway, I gotta get back home now. Perhaps I'll see you guys some other time?"
"Maybe."
"Cool. See ya!"
And with that, Isle walked out of the apartment and began to head back home, his fetish tank finally fueled to its maximum capacity.
"Hey did that guy have some kind of uh, fart fetish?" asked Red.
"No shit Red. No one's stupid enough to even try to last two seconds against Kimahri when he has gas."