Digigaslution
#1 of Isle and his Gassy Adventures
So here's another series of stories I'm re-posting from FA involving a hedgewolf (hedgehog/wolf hybrid) going through various adventures that involve some kind of toilet humor, usually flatulence.
:iconIsleTiyanay: guest stars in all of them.
Digigaslution
While traveling down a secret road in Furtopia, Isle the wolf got lost down a large dirt road that led him into a secluded forest at the edge of town. He wasn't sure how he got there, but all he remembered was doing something that made him dizzy until he blacked out and woke up on this road. As he began to walk, the forest slowly got darker and darker further down the road until all he saw were oak trees engulfed in black shadows. The forest seemed a little ominous because Isle thought someone was following him, but to his surprise, there weren't any creepy noises or guttural growls; just the sounds of crickets chirping and the occasional twig snap, most of which were caused by Isle.
"It'd be nice if a giant map of this place fell on my face."
Something slammed into Isle's face and covered it, forcing him to scream in a muffled tone and struggle to rip it off. After the wolf got some air, he looked at the object that slammed into him and was shocked to see that it was indeed a map that even told him where he was.
"Huh...that's weird."
Isle examined the map and saw that he was in a forest that was not too far from a town full of Digimon. Isle followed the right trail until he stepped onto gravel and looked up to see a small city with Digimon walking everywhere.
"Cool! I found a whole city full of Digimon!"
"Hey, what's up?"
Isle looked up and saw Biyomon flapping her wings beside him with a smile across her beak.
"Nothing much. Do you know how to get back to the furry city up north?"
"Yeah, but the trail is full of DemiDevimons this time at night so maybe you should wait a few hours."
Isle sighed heavily. "What am I gonna do until then?"
Just as Biyomon was about to answer, Isle's stomach growled loudly and he suddenly felt an empty feeling inside of his innards.
"We have an outdoor café that sells food not far from here if you're hungry."
"Awesome. You guys got chili dogs?"
"A lot of the Digimon here are very fond of the sloppy meat wrapped up in a bun. I'm not sure why...I'd prefer worms or apples. Anyway, follow me!"
"Okay."
"And...watch your step."
"Why?"
Isle took a step forward and heard a loud squish before feeling something soft and cold in-between his toes. He looked down and lifted his foot, groaning loudly and trying to brush all the crud off his foot.
"Is this Digimon crap?!"
"Err...yeah. Thing is, some of the Digimon here aren't potty trained..."
"You guys don't have any toilets?"
"Yeah, but they break easily and we don't use them regardless."
"At least there aren't too many Digimon traveling on this road."
"Just watch out for the Greymon piles; those can get really nasty."
"Thanks for the tip."
Isle took another step forward and stepped in a pile of dung that practically went up to his knee. Isle groaned loudly and lifted his leg, amazed at how much scat was covering it.
"OH MY GOD, THERE'S TEETH IN HERE!!"
"I warned you."
Isle arrived at the café and sat down on one of the stools in front of the shack, relaxing himself.
"Welcome to the Digi café! May I take your order?" asked the bartender, an Impmon.
"Sure. You got any chili dogs?"
"Yep. Here you go!" said Impmon, smiling widely as he handed Isle a chili dog.
Isle stared at the mouth-watering meal, looking at all the cheese and chili oozing its way all around the hot dog and opened his mouth, taking a bite of the meat.
"Huh?"
Isle took the hot dog out of the bun and examined it, shocked to see it was bright red and had a small fuse that was getting shorter and shorter by the second.
"What the hell?!!"
Isle chucked the "hot dog" and hid under the bar, waiting until it exploded and chucked burning gravel everywhere. Isle slowly got back up and saw Impmon laughing his butt off.
"GOTCHA!!" he shouted.
"You put a stick of dynamite in my chili dog?!" asked Isle.
"Hey, you were the one who trusted a mischievous imp to hand you free food."
"...This is true."
"So do you want a real chili dog?" asked Impmon, handing Isle a real chili dog.
"Oh, sure! Thanks!"
Isle took a bite of the hot dog and looked back at Impmon, who was snickering under his breath.
"What'd you do?"
"I put toenail clippings from ExVeemon inside the chili!"
Isle spat out the food and started groaning and gagging.
"HA HA! No, I'm just kidding. It's fine."
Isle glanced at the chili dog several times before he looked at Impmon, waiting to see if he would start laughing again.
"I'm serious! I didn't do anything to the chili dog!"
Isle stared at the imp for a while until he realized he didn't laugh, so he took another bite of the chili dog and sighed with glee, savoring the thick meaty taste of the dog and chili.
"Haven't seen you around here. What's your name?" asked a familiar Digimon sitting next to Isle.
"Isle. Aren't you that dog Digimon Gaomon? I recognize the bandanna and boxing gloves."
"Yep, that's me. Ever seen me in one of those boxing matches in your city before?"
"Ooh, you were the little guy who knocked out all those bull's teeth in two swings!"
"Gaomon ain't all that. You know I could take you with one hand tied behind my back!" said Impmon.
"Put your hand behind your back."
Impmon put his hand behind his back and smiled deviously at the canine Digimon.
"Let's do this!!"
Gaomon punched Impmon in the face once and his body went hurling into the wall, leaving a huge mark on his face. Isle and Gaomon chuckled to themselves and began to talk some more.
"Remember that one match where I-"
Gaomon grunted and held his stomach in pain, shutting his eyes as his stomach churned loudly in his ears. Impmon regained consciousness and sighed exasperatedly as he observed Gaomon's movements.
"Everybody clear out! Gaomon's gut is acting up again!!" announced Impmon.
Many of the Digimon began to leave the café as Gaomon continued to hold his churning stomach.
"Yous might wanna clear out too wolfie. Trust me when I tell you that you don't wanna be here when his gut acts up."
"Why?" asked Isle.
"Let's just says I become...aromatic..."
"Very aromatic. See you guys when the gas clears!" said Impmon, hovering away.
"Gas...? Oh, you have gas in your bowels!" said Isle.
"Yes, and by the sound of it, it's going to be a really big one. You should really go now!"
"Don't worry, I can take flatulence. Remember when you farted for me back at the gym?"
"That was just potato salad! I've eaten so much beefy foods today the hairs on my ass might fry off!"
"I'm telling you, I can take it!!"
Gaomon grunted and winced in pain, unable to contain the gas in his bowels.
"Well, I warned you!"
Gaomon sighed and passed gas for a full six seconds in a squeaky raucous tone before he exhaled and plugged his nose. Isle laughed heartily and leaned in, wafting the funky egg-reeking odor.
"I can certainly say without a doubt you had an egg-salad sandwich today!"
"Want some leftovers?"
Gaomon cocked his left leg up and blew some more wind on the seat he was resting upon. The sound of it was like a trumpet as it flapped against his rump smoothly. Gaomon groaned in disgust and plugged his nose, while Isle couldn't help but inhale the malodorous and noxious gas.
"I don't get it. How come the gas you passed back at the gym was so much worse than this?"
"We're just going through the egg salad stage! I haven't eaten gotten to the meaty side of the flatus yet!"
"OOH!! Can I pull your finger?"
"...I'm wearing boxing gloves."
"Well, then just let me yank your glove; I'm sure I'll find a finger in there!"
The blue digimon extended his glove and Isle gladly pulled it, watching as Gaomon leaned forward and passed some more stinky gas, fanning the smell away from his anus.
"Now that was a good one!"
"Wait a second..." moaned Gaomon.
Gaomon groaned again and felt something big land at his rectum and knew one of the giant bubbles was ready to come out of his anal sphincter. Gaomon began to sweat and got on the ground, sitting on his knees and lifting his tail as he inhaled sharply.
"You might wanna step a few feet back." warned Gaomon.
Isle stepped backwards and waited until a large cloud of yellow gas shot out of his butt and began to stink up the air. Gaomon's butt jiggled as the gas seeped out of his anus by the gallons and began to cloud the whole café in fetid flatulence that reeked of Mustard Gas and rotten eggs...and even fecal matter. Gaomon was sweating profusely from the heat and exhaling loudly, feeling a massive sense of relief.
"WHOOOOO!!! NOW THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKIN' ABOUT!!" shouted Isle, before coughing violently.
"I'm...I'm not even finished yet."
Gaomon leaned over and farted two more times, sighing and moaning with relief before the gas began to die down.
"Man this reeks! You could kill an elephant with this funky smell!"
Isle snapped his fingers and got a brilliant idea.
"You know those DemiDevimons resting in that forest up ahead?"
"Yes..."
"Do they tolerate flatulence?"
Isle was smiling widely while Gaomon got off the ground and sighed heavily after cutting a huge fart. All the DemiDevimons that occupied the area were on the ground, coughing violently and groaning loudly from the stench.
"Wow I can't believe you took out all these guys with just one blast!"
Isle inhaled deeply and sighed contently after taking the Gaomon flatus in.
"I love the smell of Digimon gas in the morning."
"But it's almost midnight."
"Shut up; I'm trying to make a point."
"I take it you're going back to your city now?"
"Yeah, but I'll probably come by and visit again some other day. Maybe I could bring my friends over!"
"That'd be nice."
"You're sure these DemiDevimons won't get back up?"
Gaomon looked at the ground and saw two bat Digimon throwing up and another three convulsing, spewing foam from their mouths.
"They're not getting up for a couple of hours...or days...or years."
"Okay. Goodbye Gaomon!"
"See you later Isle!"
As Isle and Gaomon began to depart, a weak and raspy breathing DemiDevimon reached out and grabbed Gaomon's fur.
"Help...me..."
Gaomon smiled and lifted his tail, passing wind into the bat's mouth.
"Hope you guys don't mind using my gas as your oxygen!"
Gaomon tilted his head back and laughed heartily, walking away.