Uwuitis

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Another comm for https://www.furaffinity.net/user/lurkerrabbit/ ! This time around it's about a virus that turns folk into uwu-speaking null furries. (Disclaimer, I am in favour of Covid precautions in reality.)


Lurker sighed as they flopped onto the couch, not even bothering to take his work uniform off before turning the television on. He didn't care much for the movie he wound up halfway into, but right now just needed something to unwind. They perked up a little when they heard the apartment door open, at least, roommate Leah strutting inside looking far more energized from her own shift. She gave a sympathetic smile as she joined him in the seat, sweater opening slightly to reveal her casual shirt beneath.

"You feeling alright?" she asked, taking the remote in her hands.

"Eh, a little," they replied, trying to pull his tie off. "Some of my coworkers were missing with no notice, so the rest of us got stuck with their work."

Leah nodded, switching over to a newscast. "Ah, yeah, I heard about that at the pool. Apparently it's that new virus going around."

On the screen, a pair of reporters sat at their desk, smiles on their faces even as they covered the dull topic of road repairs on a nearby highway. Leah was a little disappointed it wasn't conveniently relevant, but continued anyway.

"You know, that weird, ah, furry one?"

Lurker perked up a little, tie left to hang on the arm of his seat. They remembered seeing reports of it, about the strange effects it had.

"That's the one that makes folk, um..."

"Horny, yeah. And their talking gets scrambled too..."

The two sat awkwardly for a moment, before the newscast caught their attention. The male host leaned forward as their topic changed.

"Now, recently there has been an outbreak of what scientists are dubbing 'Uwu-itis'-" he said, his co-host seemingly stifling a laugh, "has occurred downtown, at the local Quik-Snak restaurant." His partner then continued, "If you or someone you live with has eaten there, please quarantine until the virus has left your system." The man in the brown suit finished with a note about the virus itself, "Scientists are still trying to find a cure, but until then the best thing to do is wait it out until the infectious period is over."

As they moved on to the next story on the teleprompter, Leah and Lurker looked at each other, already knowing what questions to ask. Leah went first, "So, um, that's where your office usually gets snacks, right?"

Lurker nodded, thinking for a moment. "I haven't had anything from there in a few days, so I should be fine. Although, now I can just tell there'll be even more work for me... ugh."

Leah nodded, changing the channel again. "Let's just rest for tonight, alright?"

The next day, Lurker found themself sleeping in, having to rush and skip breakfast to reach work on time. Once more stepping into the office, they saw even more of his coworkers weren't there, having had to stay at home thanks to their sickness. It was eerie, in an odd way, to see even a notoriously dull building like this simply empty outright, a solid third of his peers simply missing, everyone else stuck having to make up for their absence.

A box of webcams lay in the employee room, remnants of when they tried to simply use remote work, only for the diseases' speech inhibiting effects, combined with some pranks a few of them had tried to pull with some sort of video filters. It was too bad that simply not using video calls was dismissed by the bosses, maybe then he'd have the time to eat some breakfast. Stomach grumbling, Lurker gave a quick check of the office fridge, hunting for anything left in the communal portion.

A quick glance confirmed they'd have a breakfast, a leftover sandwich left behind, cleanly cut and likely store-bought. He grabbed it, taking several bites within a minute, not bothering to savour the flavour of the vegetables and cheeses on it until they'd managed to fill his belly. Eating half of it in the breakroom, he kept on eating as he made his way to his office, settling himself for a long day of inventory management and product tracking. Not something they were excited for, but one that was needed, although enough was automated for them to get away with eating while he worked.

As they settled into a routine, double checking the paperwork, they wondered how their coworkers were doing. He was feeling the growing workload, stuck working on stocks that they had no experience with before. After filling in a sheet, they had to stop and pause, before checking through the last several after catching a few typos. While he was busy running through them, he heard the sound of someone approaching, turning to find one of the managers, Jerry, looking at them with a stoney look.

"You wouldn't happen to know where the food in the break room went, would you?" he asked, his voice neutral towards Lurker but clearly stressed. Given his usual disinterest in both them and employee lunches, Lurker was confused by his question.

"Why are you asking?" they said, turning in his seat to face the older man.

"Well, you know how there was an outbreak nearby at that one restaurant? Turns out some of the folk who got sick brought their leftovers in, and I need to dispose of it all."

A pit settled in Lurker's stomach as they realized what this meant. They thought about his job, how he couldn't afford any disciplinary action now, how they already were at risk of being dropped since they hadn't adapted as well as his coworkers. Still, he put on a smile, doing their best to confidently lie.

"Ah, I brought my food from home today. I'll let you know if I see any." For a moment, they almost thought to make a weird noise, but stifled it at the last second.

"Thank you. Back to work... wait, no, you're overdue for your break. 20 minutes."

As their boss stepped away, they worried about what to try. He couldn't hide this forever; he wasn't even sure if he could hide it just for the rest of their shift. But leaving early would mean problems too. Standing up and realizing he was indeed late for their break, Lurker quickly stepped away into the lounge, only to realize with dismay another person was also taking a break at that moment.

"Hey Lurker!" she said, resting on the couch and sliding to make room for them. "How's it going?"

Lurker strained to recall who this person was; he'd seen her around, her dyed blue hair stood out without defying the office dress code, and he knew she spoke with a thick accent from the few times they spoke, but they were surprised she'd apparently learned his name when they hadn't picked up on hers. He opted to simply settle into a chair in the corner, improvising some small talk with her.

"Oh, yeah, I'm doing alright, just a wittle nervous..."

Lurker realized their mistake quickly, but the coworker was unfazed for the moment.

"Man, I feel you," she continued, "I've been swamped with all these sick leaves recently. At least my order of face masks is arriving soon." She idly wiped her hands with disinfectant as she spoke. "Say, do you want some when they arrive? I can spare a box or two."

"Oh, thank youwu!" they replied, a small smile on his face. For a moment, a stray thought crossed their mind about how cute this lady was, and how kind too.

They shook their head for a moment after he realized what he was thinking about their coworker, before looking back at her, noting the slight concern in her eyes.

"Yeah, send me a box when you can." It took them a lot of self-control to speak normally, even with most of his speech currently unaffected. He looked at the clock, surprised that only a few minutes had passed, before standing back up and making for the door.

"If you don't wind, I'm gonnya head back to my space early."

"Oh, alright..." she replied. Lurker tried to ignore her reaction of confusion and surprised as he left, brushing past a couple of other folk before returning to their room and shutting the door. He was thankful for the privacy, at least, but couldn't help but worry about whether he'd already begun to spread the virus around the office.

Since he was still technically on break, he opened up a new tab in their browser, searching for news articles on uwuitis treatment. Conveniently, new articles on the research progress had been published just within the past few hours he'd already been at work, but looking at the headlines, the opening paragraphs, their heart starting to sink a little. "Outbreaks at uwuitis laboratories put stop to research", "Uwuitis cure looking increasingly unlikely", and more dampened their spirits, and worse was when he found one noting that thus far, even the earliest infections had yet to actually revert; people simply stopped serving as vectors.

Lurker sighed, looking up at the old foam tile ceiling. Idly, one hand started to drift towards their crotch, Lurker not even noticing until he felt the soft bristles of his fur poking at their waistband. It took a moment to register properly, but when the startled worker looked, he saw the beginnings of dark blue fur covering their hands, small spots exempt from it turning unnaturally bright pink instead. They brushed their hands along their pants, trying to get the hair off, before he realized that either one of two things was happening; either the virus was making them hallucinate, or it was transforming him. This couldn't be right, could it? Uwuitis wasn't known to cause either of those things, and they quickly began another search.

It took a few tries, their panicked typing producing more typos. "Uwuitis causing twansformation" was their first attempt, and he couldn't help but notice the nature of his mistake before going to the search's suggested correction. There were fewer articles about this and more badly written forum and social media posts, but he could get the impression all the same; while the original virus was already messing with people's minds, it had mutated into a transformative through unknown means.

A pressure in their tailbone made him stand up, reaching around to try and find the problem, twisting awkwardly to look. A lump was growing, straining against his pants; quickly loosening their belt, Lurker saw a tail growing, already coated in white fur, indigo tip swaying as the vulpine tail stretched itself out. He carefully gripped it, blushing as they realized they could feel their changing paws.

By now, their break should have been over, but he was too distracted by his changes. On some level, they knew this was bad, that their whole office would get sick, but at the same time, there was a forbidden thrill to it, knowing that his peers would experience this too. He could feel a pressure in his pants, and as he did his best to look up lewd pictures online, finding a site the office filters didn't cover yet, they began to let themselves go.

A knock on the door interrupted him before anything could go beyond a brief fantasy, much to their disappointment. The jarring noise helped bring him back to lucidity for a moment, scrambling to cover his tail and hands as he answered.

"Yes?!" they called out, surprising even himself with how much louder their natural voice was.

"Hey, are you doing alright? You're sounding kinda weird."

It was the woman from the break room, concern obvious in her voice. The doorknob jiggled, but a quick turn of the lock from Lurker's side kept it closed.

"I'm fine! Jwust, swessed, gwonnya take a weave after today..."

He paused, waiting, a few new whiskers on her cheeks twitching as they waited for the woman to leave.

"Um, ok, I'll get back to my own shift then." Her heels clicked on the hard tiles, and Lurker let out a sigh of relief as they returned to their computer, idly opening up a lewd image of a rabbit boy. He paused for a moment, a little confused why they were defaulting to finding this attractive and not a human, but soon brushed it aside. He took the time to pull his belt off, pants falling around their ankles; the fur on their chest and limbs was growing uncomfortable, and he soon found himself tossing their shirt aside too, tie and underwear all that was left covering him.

As they stuck a new claw under their waistband, however, the door shook again, the distinct sound of a key turning as Jerry forced his way in. When the older man saw Lurker, he paused; his expression was neutral and stiff, but he was clearly shocked by the sight of a mostly naked fox, fur still growing over their chest while he pawed at their remaining clothes. Before the human had a chance to leave, and figure out what was happening, Lurker pounced, their boss groaning from the pain of being shoved onto the ground by them.

"Hai!! Um, I may have made a fucky-wucky..." they explained, ears poking through his hair as they looked into his face. "But don't wowwy! It feels good!"

Their boss tried to lift the surprisingly heavy fox off himself, but soon found himself stopping for several reasons; the first and most dramatic being that he could feel the growth of whiskers on his own face, her body hair softening slightly as it changed to fur. The other was an oddly pleasurable feeling; normally his professionalism kept him from finding his staff to be attractive, but as Jerry squirmed under Lurker, he was feeling infatuated by the fox.

"Wurker... what's gowwing on?" he asked, surprised by how his usually deep voice was suddenly far higher pitched.

"Oh, hehe, I uh... got uwuitis..." Lurker explained. "But- wight now, I feew needy in my bulge! I mean, my bulge... bulge?"

Try as he might, Lurker realized that he couldn't refer to his crotch or genitals as anything but a bulge. They still knew of the concepts, but there was a filter on, an inability to properly vocalize it, distinct from the other changes to his speech. Realizing what this meant, they reached back down to his clothes, pulling them away to reveal his crotch.

Their cock was still there, but it was rapidly changing; already it was entirely covered in fur, the whole length firmly attached to his crotch. It grew a little as they touched it, the tip sealing itself away, leaving him with a smooth bulge in place of any functional genitals. And yet, when he felt it, their bulge felt good, better even than his old cock ever did; the whole surface was sensitive, growing hard and swelling up just a bit larger.

For a moment Lurker was distracted by this new development, paws gently kneading and squeezing their bulge, exploring the sensations of their newly null form. A high-pitched squeak soon led his attention back to the older man, however, his teeth changing shape in his growing muzzle, ears growing into the big circles of a mouse. Lurker smiled, bending down to kiss him on the lips, enjoying the moment before breaking away.

"Sowwy, but I noticed your buwge... may I?"

Jerry nodded, voice squeaking as he responded. "Pwease..."

The new fox worked quickly, pulling at their boss' clothes with soft fingers, still careful not to tear the fabric with his new claws despite their neediness. He smiled as he saw his own growing null spot, dick slowly growing a layer of fur all over, and pressed their own to it, roughly grinding against the mouse below them. Lurker's tail thrashed, bouncing against the floor, helping clue them in to Jerry's own slowly growing, lightly furred tail, watching him become fully infected just like him.

Lurker panted out in their new voice, pleasure continuing to flow through his whole body as he enjoyed himself. As he leaned down, kissing Jerry another time, they felt a sudden burst of release, letting out a long sigh as they started to snuggle against him. One of Lurkers paws started to rub against the smooth bulge between his legs, making sure their partner could get their new body's version of climax.

"You knowo, this isn't swo bad..." they said, the mouse simply letting out a happy squeak in response. As the two cuddled against each other, the door to the office opened once again, and Lurker smiled when they recognized the distinct blue hair of the woman who opened it, even after she'd started to grow some dark grey fur on her cheeks and her skirt had a visible tent.

"Oh, hewwo! Wanna join us~?" they asked, and his coworker nodded.

When Leah returned to the apartment later that day, she was surprised to see that Lurker wasn't there yet. Her mind raced with possibilities as she set her bag onto the floor, checking the local news to confirm the location of the latest outbreaks. News articles covering how even those who were already infected before had begun to show new symptoms dominated the search results online, and unfortunately for her, while Lurkers office was in the outbreak zone, it had managed to spread out far enough, with folk leaving quarantine, to make it impossible to tell where it started.

When she heard the door open, she was relieved for a moment, knowing Lurker had made it out safely, but she soon found herself with a mix of fear, surprise and arousal upon seeing the naked fox standing before her, a few of his items haphazardly stored in a bag he brought with them. His tail wagged excitedly as they tossed his things away, jumping on her and rubbing his new bulge against her leg.

"Haii! I, ah, I made more thnyan a bit of fucky-wucky, but! You'we gonnya enjoy it, I think!"

As he watched her smooth, black fur start to sprout,happily rubbing themselves against her, Lurker knew that this was probably the best infection they'd ever gotten.