Doodle Story: Nowhere to Shit
Wolf O'Donnell desperately seeks a bathroom after someone poisoned his lunch with castor oil, but he fails....epically.
And messily. ...Scat warning.
___________________________________________________________________________________
Doodle Story: Nowhere to Shit
His whole team was gone, which meant Wolf O'Donnell was alone in the Sargasso Hideout in the middle of the rocky Sargasso Region. The place had to be remodeled after the attack from Star Fox where over 80% of the gang members were slaughtered or run out of the base. But as time went by, they found a way to get it up and running. Right now, Wolf was in the lunchroom, sitting on one of the chairs and picking his teeth with a toothpick after he just got done eating a huge lunch. The lunchroom was an add-on to the station after it was rebuilt, as well as a few sleeping quarters for the ruffians to rest in, and the latrine. Unfortunately the latrine was broken down due to excessive use (and someone thinking it would be funny to toss a cherry bomb into one of the toilets) so they were currently under repairs and locked down until the maintenance crew finished up their job. But it was alright, since Wolf didn't have to use the bathroom and the loud racket coming from inside the bathroom was kept to a minimal and muted by the closed doors. Wolf flicked the toothpick across the room before he belched and placed his feet on the table in front of him, leaning back so he could rest.
"Good thing Leon and the others are gone. Now I got time to relax as much as I want before our next mission."
Wolf closed his eyes and started to go to sleep for a moment. However, after a minute or two, Wolf felt something warm and steamy squirt out of his ass and penetrate the atmosphere of the lunchroom. Wolf sniffed the air a few times before groaning loudly and waving a paw in front of his face very quickly. The canine ripped a deadly silent fart that created a hazy green cloud around his body. The stench was like swamp gas and unwashed derrieres combined with the chili dogs Wolf ate earlier.
"Goddamn, that was a stinker!"
Wolf chuckled as he wafted some of the stink away before he felt more gas brewing in his colon due to all the chili dogs and other nourishment he had for lunch. He smiled leeringly before relaxing in his chair and spreading his legs wide. He sighed loudly and ripped another fart, this one five times louder than the previous one. It didn't stink as bad, but Wolf still managed to identify the infamous odor of rotten eggs in the flatulence. The canine giggled and leaned over with his left leg in the air so he could break some more wind. It was another loud burst that could wake up a sleeping furry instantly, and the stench was still reminiscent of rotten eggs and sewage waste. However, Wolf didn't mind, even though the fart literally lasted for nine seconds and stank up the quadrant he was sitting in. Wolf chuckled again as he felt his stomach churn. There was no one in the hideout, let alone the lunchroom, but him. Well, him and the maintenance workers, but they couldn't hear or smell anything so he was in the clear. He could let out as much gas as he wanted without worrying about anyone smelling or hearing his flatus. The leader of Star Wolf got out of his chair and stood on the floor before he leaned over to his left, raising his tail and ripping a seismic fart. He could feel the wind vibrating against his ass cheeks and heard the abhorrent noise of trumpets blowing from his flabby posterior. But it didn't matter as long as he enjoyed and relieved himself. So he spread his legs out a bit and stuck his rump out before grunting and making two fists, inevitably pushing out another deadly gas bubble. Unfortunately the one he just released smelled horrific, almost as bad as a pile of hot feces that had just been released onto a carcass. The sound of it was louder than all of the previous ones and had a disgusting, wet squish at the end, which made Wolf stop for a moment and feel the seat of his pants so he could make sure he didn't shart himself. Part of his pants was moist, but nothing brown came out so he was still in the clear.
Wolf bent over so he was staring directly at the floor and had his ass aimed directly at the wall. With his tail raised, fists made, teeth grit and eyes closed, the canine grunted and expelled a bombastic fart that could've blown one of the chairs backwards if one was behind his ass. This fart didn't smell like diarrhea, but it was very loud, and lasted for sixteen seconds, plus it had a low, bass tone to it. It sounded more like someone was blowing a tuba instead of a trumpet. When Wolf was done letting out the repugnant air, he exhaled with much comfort and sat back down, giggling as he let out three more tiny poots afterwards.
"I wonder what would happen if I replace all the cans of Febreze with my own special Fartbreze? Hehe, that'll stink up the hideout for weeks!"
Wolf was about to let out some more gas when he winced and his eye twitched. He started to feel a little bit of discomfort in his colon and bladder and knew it wasn't just gas. He had to pee really badly, and the bathroom was still under repairs. Wolf swore out loud, cursing the dozens of cans of Pepsi Panther dared him to drink in under five minutes. At this point, Wolf had three problems that were blocking his path to lavatory relief. The first was that Wolf was wearing his white uniform with the red trims and designs all over his clothing. It was one of the outfits he would occasionally wear whenever he was fighting in a Brawl tournament with Fox or Kirby or Link and the others. This meant that if Wolf lost control of his bladder and wound up wetting himself, it would be noticeable to everyone when they came back. Wolf preferred peeing on a tree or using the bathroom, but he never objected to wetting himself if he absolutely had to (there was a time he did this intentionally while flying in his Wolfen because he didn't feel like stopping to land on the nearest planet just so he could pee on a tree). If he was wearing his normal uniform, or his black or blue uniform, he'd whiz himself right now since he could easily say he just spilled water all over himself. But with his white clothes, it would leave a large yellow stain; he couldn't cover that up with water, and Leon drank all the lemonade. The second (and main problem) was that the bathroom was under repairs, and it didn't sound like the plumbers and technicians would finish anytime soon, so Wolf had no latrine to use. The third problem was the antsy and anal janitors of the hideout. Wolf had no problem unzipping his pants and peeing all over the floor and walls (and ceiling, just to piss them off) but the janitors were getting tired of Wolf and his ruffians. Wolf and his gang would intentionally create a huge mess in the lunchroom and not clean it up and left it all for the janitors just to make them mad. Hell, Wolf and Panther even shat on the floor just to see how pissed off the janitors would be when they saw the smelly mess they made.
One day, the janitors lost it and decided it would be funny to cover the sleeping quarters with cum. It was everywhere--the walls, the floor, the ceiling, on the beds, in the beds, the dressers, the doors--everywhere. When Wolf called the janitors to clean up the mess, all of them were "sick" that day, so he forced the ruffians to do it, which got them pretty pissed at him that day, since they knew Wolf and Panther were to blame. The reason why Wolf wasn't pissing all over the wall right now was because if he did, the janitors would prank everyone again, and it'd probably be worse this time. He couldn't even imagine what would happen if the janitors smeared diarrhea all over their sleeping quarters. Plus, if he made the ruffians clean up the mess again while he, Leon, and Panther just sat back and watched, it wouldn't take long for some of them to rebel against Wolf's terrible leadership, and the canine didn't need a mutiny going on.
"Okay...okay O'Donnell...just ignore it...and don't think of piss."
It's ironic really, when you tell yourself not to think about something, and suddenly that's all you can think about. Wolf whined softly when he thought about a recent watersports picture he saw on a furry website, and the pee began to move towards the end of his dick, ready to come out. He crossed his legs and started exhaling in loud puffs, but doing so only caused him to rip a haphazard fart that was so abrupt it scared him, and he uncrossed his legs. He crossed his legs back up and shut his eyes, trying not to think of piss. But then, he suddenly heard something dripping in the background and remembered that a pipe had busted in the ceiling and was leaking to the floor. No one ever got around to fixing it. Wolf groaned and grabbed his ears, pulling them down so he couldn't hear anything. He started muttering to himself and tapping his right foot on the ground periodically, before he began to ponder when he was in the bathroom two weeks ago in the morning, taking a nice, long piss alongside Leon, who happened to rip a rank urinal fart as well. Both of them giggled before sighing and letting their piss fly, peeing for 30 seconds. Wolf couldn't help but think about that morning over and over and over again. He squinted and placed both paws at his crotch before it suddenly became a little warm. He removed his paws and looked down at his pants. A small, circular rivulet was forming around his crotch.
"Damnit!"
Wolf twitched in his seat and desperately tried to think about something else, anything not associating with water or liquid, but it was no use. All he thought about were Leon and himself peeing in that urinal that morning. The rivulet began to grow over some time until it turned into a very large stain on Wolf's trousers. The canine whined loudly and pressed his legs together in a last ditch effort, but that only slowed down the urination, and didn't stop it. Wolf spread his legs again and huffed in a frustrated tone.
"FUCK IT!"
Wolf exhaled and, after realizing his pants already had a stain on them, decided to release his bladder. The small puddle immediately spread all over Wolf's pants and darkened them very quickly. Wolf's entire groin was wet, and Wolf was sighing with relief. Sure, he was pissing his pants, but he felt relieved so it was a win for him. However when he heard a few drips from below, he quickly rose from his chair, noticing his pants were so wet that some of the urine was trickling to the floor. Wolf just sighed heavily and shrugged. He could clean that up later with a napkin; it wasn't too big of a mess. The canine was still leaking smelly fluids into his pants and the dripping was becoming louder and more raucous, but Wolf looked down and only noticed a small puddle forming in-between his boots. He could easily blame one of the ruffians for spilling lemonade on the ground, and hopefully none of the janitors would be curious enough to bend down and smell the puddle.
Just when Wolf thought all of his troubles were over, he felt an immense pain in his colon, a pain he was unable to control. He groaned loudly while holding his stomach and bent over so he could fart loudly, immediately clenching his butt cheeks shut once he felt something other than gas coming out of his asshole. He started whimpering and looking around, trying to find a substitute for a bathroom. A trash can, a box, a dresser--anything would work at this point. He just didn't want to go in his pants, or the floor. Wolf started pacing back and forth in the middle of the lunchroom with his tail between his legs, muttering to himself again. Maybe the maintenance workers would finish early, and he'd be able to rush inside the lavatory and empty his bowels in the toilet before time ran out. But this was no different than the pissing issue, and Wolf couldn't help but think about all forms of bathroom humor, such as the time he pranked Panther into drinking an entire bottle of castor oil. ...Come to think of it, he noticed that his chili dogs tasted funny and that Panther was the last furry hovering around them. Wolf swore out loud and held his tummy again, realizing that Panther (or Leon or one of the ruffians) poisoned his chili dogs and lunch food with castor oil, hence his sudden bowel desperation. That would also explain why there wasn't a single trash can or container in the cafeteria, because they had all been hidden by the prankster.
"Goddamnit, when the hell are they gonna finish up with the bathroom!?!?" he shouted.
Wolf farted again, this time extremely wet and reeking of fresh diarrhea. The canine whimpered again and started tapping his feet on the ground, unable to contain himself any longer. He felt like his stomach was about to explode out his ass and leave a giant bulge in his pants that would take days to clean. He knew the workers were getting close to finishing their repairs in the bathroom. It would only take a few more minutes, and then Wolf would be free to shit as much as he pleased. He could wait for a few more minutes. ...No he couldn't; the wolf bent over to fart again and wound up sharting himself, leaving a tiny brown smudge on the seat of his pants. Even worse was that he felt something lumpy filling up his underwear. He wasn't gonna make it in time.
"FUCK!!!" shouted Wolf, sprinting his way to his sleeping quarters.
Wolf looked all around his room for somethin suitable he could poop in or on, but found nothing of value. There was the dresser, but all of his clothes were in there. The floor was still out of the option, unless he wanted the janitors to whip around and spray his entire room with scat. He had no dumpsters or pails in his room, sadly, and the bed was off limits. Then he spotted the closet, a closet that he didn't store any of his gear inside. A closet that belonged to a ruffian's and not his own. All he had to do was waltz inside and crap in there, maybe blame the incident on another wayward ruffian instead of himself. Besides, even if anyone found his feces, Wolf still wouldn't be the one to blame. It was his sleeping quarters, but a few ruffians shared the closet, so not only could Wolf blame a ruffian for "trespassing," but he could also accuse the ruffian of "vandalism" and shitting in the closet, and make him clean it up. It was a ridiculous plan, but he was desperate right now, and if he squatted and pooped on the floor, he would get blamed since it was his room, even though the closet was shared with other ruffians.
Wolf took a step forward and ripped a massive wet shart that made the brown stain even larger. He grunted and put his tail between his legs again and stood in place, his knees shaking uncontrollably. It was as though his stomach was preventing him from continuing any further. Wolf shook his head and fought past the pain, taking another step forward. His stomach decided that was the final straw, and sent all of the fecal matter to the anus. Wolf felt a time bomb ticking in his ass, and whimpered before holding his stomach and bending over with his tail raised. Four small poots came out before a fifth, wet shart came out, and finally a few large turds that filled Wolf's pants quite nicely. They instantly bulged outwards with a large brown stain, stinking like crazy. Then Wolf sharted so hard that the entire seat of his pants turned brown and watery, dripping a little bit of poo to the carpet. He grunted and pooped himself some more, increasing the size of the bulge within seconds, feeling the chunky and wet scat piling on top of the rest. He knew he would have to burn his underwear when he finished, probably his pants too. Wolf shouted and pooped again, only this time it was diarrhea, and all of it soared all over his pants. It didn't just pile onto the previous amount of shit, but it also dripped down his furry legs and knees, even going as far as to entering his boots. He didn't dare feel his pants, since he already knew they were completely brown now. The stench was overwhelming and made Wolf light-headed; the fumes were noxious and impossible to endure. The canine was only glad he didn't lock himself in the room or else he'd throw up or pass out from the stink.
"FFFFFFFFUCK!!!" screamed Wolf in frustration as he painfully squeezed a giant turd out his ass.
The canine went back to releasing blocky, chunky scat from his ass before he pushed everything out and farted in a loud trumpeting blast, more feces dripping down onto the carpet. Wolf grunted when he pushed out the remaining scat, almost jolting forward in the process. He felt the bulge behind him droop some more, like a diaper that should've been changed three weeks ago. However, despite all the mess he made, his stomach was beginning to feel better. If only he could say the same thing for his asshole and uniform, then maybe he'd be 100% okay. But as it is, he just filled his pants not only with urine, but a couple of pounds of canid shit. Wolf coughed and exhaled before he farted one last time. His knees were still shaking and his pants were still dripping feces everywhere. Wolf curiously turned around to see how much got into the carpet, surprised that a giant puddle wasn't behind him. Of course, the carpet still stank, and the drops of shit were definitely noticeable. Wolf stood up and heard his pants squish, which made him sigh exasperatedly.
"Shit...I better clean myself up before everyone gets back." muttered Wolf with defeat, upset that his plan failed.
"Hey Boss, we just wanted to--HOLY SHIT!!!" shouted the maintenance worker as he walked in the room and smelled Wolf's creation.
Wolf heard the plumber shouting and immediately turned around, grabbing the squishy seat of his pants as though he could really cover up the mess he made.
"What...what did you say?" asked Wolf, trying to sound nonchalant.
"We uh...we finally got the...toilets fixed."
Wolf snarled viciously. "NOW YOU FUCKIN' TELL ME?!!!?"