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Ash Wednesday was fast approaching, the clock ticking down, and the former Mrs. Easter Bunny was coaching Buttercup on the process of Egg Laying.

"I thought you said I laid from Passover to Good Friday, Passover is still over a month away."

Mrs. Easter Bunny went red. "Sorry, I was stressed that day, I meant Ash Wednesday to Good Friday, sorry if I let on that you wouldn't have to lay as long on years where Passover is closer to Easter."

Buttercup shook her head, "I knew what you meant, I was just checking. Wanted to make sure I was really getting the full Lenten Season as promised."

"Yeah, okay, I'm sure you'll enjoy all six weeks of it," Mrs. Easter Bunny sighed.

Mrs. Easter Bunny led Buttercup into the laying room, it was decorated nicely with a soft nest in the center (basically like her bed, but for laying in. The other laying), chutes on the wall for sorting and organizing eggs, if those two words had any real difference.

"Okay, allow me to show you what you'll be doing," Mrs. Easter Bunny withdrew a fancy Easter Egg, painted with all sorts of colors, curving and swirling their way across its smooth surface. "This is an example of one of the eggs you'll be laying, most of them are about this size, but they do vary more or less every once in awhile."

Buttercup grabbed the egg, looking at it mesmerized. "Look at the size of these eggs," Buttercup squealed, "and so beautiful too, so colorful and eggy shaped" it was always good to scream in agony over something so beautiful. She looked down at herself. Newborn rabbits were fairly small, and giving birth to them still left a rabbit squealing, these eggs on the other pawpad were so much bigger. "I am in no way built in the same size or shape as a chicken to accommodate this," Buttercup observed. The pressure it would take to lay one of those when she probably wouldn't even be able to handle a small newborn rabbit, there was no way she was going to be able to take it. She moved a paw toward her back legs and tried to imagine laying on of these things. "Ooh! That is going to be so painful!" Oh how small her poor little delicate body was, there was no way this would work. It'd be so INTENSE!

Yes! Bring it on!

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door, and a young Blue Bird peaked in. "Excuse me missuses," she tweeted shyly, "the Nurse Maids are here."

Bambii's Mom nodded, "Send them in."

The door opened and in flew a red cardinal, self assured looking, but kind. And then from behind her - Buttercup gasped - stepped in Edwina, one of the hens from Buttercup's old farm, the same one who had mocked her about plastic eggs last year.

"Edwina!" Buttercup cried, "What are you doing here? You're... you're my Nurse Maid?"

Edwina looked at Buttercup, an even expression on her face, "I only agreed to do this because I wanted to see you squeal your little hiney off as you lay eggs for a change."

Buttercup looked at her for a second. "Well," she said finally, "I hope I don't disappoint. This is so great!"

Edwina just looked flabbergasted.

"Uh," said the blue bird in the door, "can I go now? I'm not needed anymore, right? I don't know if I want to... I don't want to be here when..."

The former Missus nodded, and the blue bird flapped out of the room as quick as her little wings could carry her.

"She's so laying eggs someday," Buttercup mussed. Birds, it was unavoidable.

Finally, Bambii came in carrying a stack of all his Easter Baskets. He put them down and looked at Buttercup. "You sure you got this?"

Buttercup nodded, and grinned at him sweetly, "Are you joking, I've been waiting my whole life for this."

Bambii nodded, "Okay, but let me know if you need anything." He picked up a few baskets and started organizing them down chutes. "I got to check on a few more things, but I'll be back as quick as I can to help you with the beginning of the process."

"Uh, not sure how you can help with this," Buttercup giggled, "but thanky."

Bambii just gave an awkward nod of acknowledgement, then went back out the door.

Once he was gone, all fell silent in the room. Bambii's mother started to gather herself to go, when after a moment of uncomfortable silence, Buttercup spoke up.

"What if I don't like it?" Buttercup asked with a sudden flash of uncertainty, "I've waited all this time to experience something like this, I've saved myself from any real pain so as not to spoil this moment, and what if I don't like it - actually hate it - and in the end, it's not worth it?"

Bambii's mom stopped at the door and turned to look at her daughter-in-law. "Well, I've literally laid billions of eggs over the years," Mrs. Easter Bunny admitted, "And I can't comprehend how anybody could experience that much pain and actually enjoy it. But I can only speak for myself, I'm not you. I can tell you, you really have no idea what your in for, but how you respond to that experience is solely up to you and you alone." Finally, she looked up at her gently, "But I hope for your sake, it's everything you hoped for. Now, I'm not going to be here during your laying, I've had more than enough to last a lifetime, but your Nurse Maids will take good care of you, okay. Well, Cardinal at least, I have no idea what's up with Edwina."

And with that, she had left. Once she was gone, Cardinal looked at Buttercup confused, "Why would you even like to be in pain?" Obviously she didn't know Buttercup all that well.

"Don't ask her these questions," Edwina said, "she's just like that. I don't think she even knows."

"No no," Buttercup said, trying to find words to explain herself, "Don't get me wrong, I don't know if it's the pain itself I like, I enjoy not enjoying it, and knowing that no male is ever going to be able to understand what that experience is actually like, and knowing that I'd be better off being a male, but I'm not, and knowing that I'll never escape being me, the one that others are lucky they're not, actually makes it all the more amusing that I'm stuck being me. The fact that I can be leveled so, that's funny." Wow, that was a real jumble of words.

The Cardinal looked at her, "I'm not sure that's exactly healthy."

"Well," Edwina admitted, "Eggs do need to be laid, we'd go extinct if they weren't. At least it's pain for a purpose." She shrunk in herself having reminded herself that she too was subject to that pain. It really wasn't pretty.

Buttercup hesitated., still not feeling satisfied with her answer. Finally, "Not to say pain isn't a great part of the process..." She closed her eyes trying to think of the best words to express herself. "It's the not being able to bear your existence, but knowing it couldn't be any other way, to know that you'd be better off if you were someone else, but then you couldn't be you if you were. It's to love to hate to be yourself, which in turn causes you love to be yourself; it's to love to hate the pain, which in turn causes you to enjoy the pain all the more. Perhaps I can't explain it any better than that, but I want to do this, I don't know why, I just do. I want to experience the pain, I want to love it, and I want to hate it, at the same time. It's just too much to comprehend."

The two Nurse Maids looked at eachother. "Okay then," Cardinal said. That was a bit much.

They stood waiting, the clock ticking down. Buttercup stepped over to the nest and felt its softness, her heart hammering in her chest. She breathed deeply, "I just hope I'm..." She hesitated, not knowing the right words.

"You just hope your strong enough?" Cardinal offered.

Buttercup shook her head, "No, I hope I'm not strong enough, that would be counterproductive for what I'm going for." She hesitated, "I just hope I'm masochistic enough. What if I think I am, but I'm really not? I'm going to be really depressed if I don't like this. If I'm not a masochist, then maybe I'm not the bunny I think I am."

"Well, you're not going to have to wait long," Cardinal said, looking at the clock. It was ticking, the last minute until Midnight.

Tik-tok...tik-tok...

And then the hour struck.

Buttercup gasped, a giant cramp suddenly clinched her insides.

Edwina looked at her. "You okay."

"I think..." Buttercup said, clinched over, "I think it's starting."

This was so much worse than a blister, the pressure was growing, she couldn't take the pressure off if she tried, it was going to keep going and going, pretty soon it would pop, and the excruciatingness that followed was sure to be unbearable.

And it was then that Buttercup realized, while her little bunny body's survival instincts were telling her to flee, to escape the inevitable pain that would follow, Buttercup realized this was her element, and this was going to be a moment she'd never regret. All this time she'd been waiting, wondering what it would feel like to lay an egg, and HERE IT FINALLY WAS! It wasn't just something she had just imagined happening to her, it was real, it was happening to her this very moment. Miss Buttercup was LAYING AN EGG!

And that's when the pressure exploded. She burst out screaming, the egg was too big for her little body, and now it was laying full of color in the nest behind her. "OW! OW! OWWWWWW!" She screamed, writhing in her little delicate bunny body, "IT HURTS SO MUCH!" Even Edwina was looking away at discomfort at what she'd just witnessed.

And then Buttercup felt her innards clinching for the next egg.

"Oh no, oh no..." Buttercup squeeled.

And in a moment, the second egg was laid, Buttercup was completely screaming her head off senselessly now.

She couldn't believe how real this all was. She wasn't screaming and crying out for effect, she really meant it, the desperation to remove herself from the pain undeniable.

...

And she loved it. She loved how no matter how much she knew it would hurt, no matter how well she had prepared herself, no matter how much she had looked forward to this moment, by the time it really happened, none of her anticipation could do anything to stop her from falling helpless into that void of agony that was consuming her. Her whole body was desperate to escape this pain, and it couldn't, and Buttercup loved that craving for relief, the desperation for escape that she knew she would not receive anytime soon. Hopefully this craving would not be met soon, because the longer the craving was unmet, the more desperate it became, and SHE JUST LOVED THIS CRAVING! Egg after egg, oh it was just too much to bear.

"THIS HURTS WORSE THAN I EVER IMAGINED!" She laughed through her screaming.

"See, I told you," Edwina said, "Egg laying hurts, do you see now that it's not just a laughing matter?"

Buttercup looked at her, tears running down her face, from pain or laughter, she could not tell. "Are you kidding?" Buttercup strained, "This is exactly the kind of stuff that's just hilarious OWWWWW! I LOVE MY BODY! OWW-HOWW!"

Never before in so much pain had she felt so much relief, she really was the rabbit she always hoped she was, Egg Laying was just the BEST! (Because it was the worst obviously)! So even though her body was screaming, her Soul had never felt more herself. She could exist peacefully now.

Edwina looked at Buttercup and blinked, obviously Buttercup was someone else entirely. "Okay," Edwina said getting down to business then, realizing it was fruitless to continue down this route of schadenfreudism "Come look at your eggs," She said picking up Buttercup's eggs and showing them to her.

Buttercup looked at them with all their many colors and her eyes lit up. "Oh my goodness, they're so beautiful. I'm laying those?"

But before she could say anymore, she gasped as she felt the next one inside her, it felt different somehow, a sharpness of a hinge as it got caught in the midst of contractions.

Suddenly, Bambii came in, he looked at Buttercup screaming out her agony and stopped. "How is she?" He asked the Nurse Maids anxiously.

Edwina looked at him, "Oh, she's doing fine. Better than she should be considering the circumstances."

"This is excruciatingly hilarious!" Buttercup gasped. "You have no idea what you're missing."

Bambii looked at her, obviously this was more her thing than his, "Uh, no thank you, I think I'll pass."

"Imagine being a boy, never having to go through this," Buttercup mussed. Bambii nodded, he couldn't imagine. Or he could imagine, whatever. He couldn't imagine being able to imagine.

And suddenly, Buttercup screamed again, and the next egg was there.

"Plastic," said Edwina, "why am I not surprised."

Buttercup struggled to rotate her body to look at the big purple egg, "Oh, my first plastic, I must see what's inside."

Bambii hoped up to his wife gently, knowing how much pain she must be in (actually, he didn't know, he knew he'd never be able to comprehend that, but he figured it was a lot), but also realizing that this was something, beyond all logical explanation, that she was rather fond of, he didn't know if he should pity her, or humor her (she'd probably want both to be honest). But he went up to her and grabbed the egg. "Okay, this one's for you."

He opened it, and inside was a... Reese's Buttercup.

Buttercup burst out laughing, she was completely delirious. She was so caught up, she didn't even realize the next egg until it came, and she was screaming all over again.

Once she quieted, Bambii slipped the Buttercup over to... wel Buttercup, "Here it's yours. I'm sure there will be plenty more where that came from." He went red, "When I say 'where that...' never mind. I mean there's more to come."

Buttercup's eyes lit up through her pain, "More to come... Just what I needed to here. Ooh, this hurts so much I can't even bear another minute. LET'S KEEP THIS GOI-OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!"

That egg was like twice the size of any of the eggs before it, and it HURT! Buttercup hunched over on all fours, squealing in her pain. She couldn't bear the pressure anymore, her itty-bitty bunny body was just not big enough for an egg of such size to pass through it, and that made it the greatest experience in her life.

"Oh, that's my bum in the air," she gasped through sweat and tears, "That is so embarrassing. I must be so funny looking. No way I'll make it to Easter like this. And by 'no way', I mean I'm totally making it."

Another scream as another egg came.

"Somehow," she choked.

As Bambii exited the room after sorting some of the eggs down the chutes, he found the shy little blue bird waiting by the door listening in.

"Will I sound like that when I lay eggs," she asked anxiously.

Bambii just shrugged, unsure of anything he ever thought of Egg Laying.

Another undignified scream erupted from behind the door, and the blue bird's face went red, she covered it with her wings. "Oh my," she said, "I'm so embarrassed with myself."

The Easter Bunny patted her on the head, "You're okay how you are," he assured her.

With that, he headed off to carry on his business, hoping his wife would be alright in her blissful state of woeful agony until he could come back.

"Oh Buttercup," he sighed to himself, "I love you so much, but if only I could understand you." Shaking his head, he hopped on.