Puffy Poofy Kiwi and ze Ouchy Oofy Egg
Puffy-Poofy Kiwi's belly was growing,
Poofy-Puffy Kiwi's belly was expanding,
Puffy-Poofy Kiwi wa' gonna lay egg.
"I gonna lay egg," Puffy-Poofy Kiwi announced to all her Puffy-Poofy Kiwi girlfriends at the Poofy Puffy Girlfriend Get Together.
"Ooh, Ahh" All the Puffy Poofy girlfriends awwed.
"You gonna lay egg"
"You gonna have babies"
"You gonna be a mumma"
"Mmm-hmmm." All the Puffy Poofy Girlfriends agreed.
"Ooh, it gonna hurt so much," One Poofy Puffy Girlfriend said.
All eyes turned on Poofy Puffy Girlfriend. They all had no idea what she talking 'bout, other Poofy Puffys had never had eggs before.
"Oh ya'," Poofy Puffy say, "Egg Laying is za worse. No pain worse than laying ze egg."
Puffy Poofy Kiwi's eyes went wide, she had never heard such news before. "I be pained?"
"Oh, you be okay," Poofy Puffy assured her, "You survive."
"I survive" Puffy Poofy murmured hopefully, "So... it don't hurt bad?"
Poofy Puffy's eyes expanded beyond all normal, "Oh no, you be screaming like there no tomorrow, kiwi egg like as big as whole belly, it hurt like you won't believe. But you survive and it be over by ze end, so, it like, don't matter. But it fun, you to get there. I not one wishing be dead soon."
"Wishing I be dead?" Puffy Poofy wimpered. She like life, she no want wish she dead.
"Oh, if you really knew what you in for, you be getting head start on that wishin', you trapped now, there no way out. Nothing you have good time now be worth it later when you having zat egg. But don't worry, you hardly be remembering any o' it. Later at least. I not envy you though. You be questioning how any poor Puffy Poofy Soul could poss'bly be you."
Poor Puffy Poofy Kiwi gulp.
Puffy Poofy Kiwi returned home to Puffy Poofy Husband.
"Hey, waifu! How za chillin' time with da girls?" Puffy Poofy Husbando exclaimed, eyes a-lightin' up.
"Oh huzzy," Puffy Poofy Kiwi explained, "They say it hurt, they say egg laying a-make me want to die!"
Poor Puffy Poofy burst so poofily into tears. Puffy Poofy Huzzy wrapped hi' wings around her. "They just say that," Huzzy comfort her, "They just mean."
But Puffy Poofy Kiwi pull away.
"Oh no," she say'd, "But egg as big as me belly!"
Huzzy's eye growed wide, "It that big?"
Puffy Poofy Kiwi nodded, "It be real pain."
Huzzy tried to say something, hi' mouth open wide, but suddenly it too late. Puffy Poofy Kiwi's face all the sudden did the twistin' in pain. Egg was comin'!
"Oh! It da pain! It da pain!" Puffy Poofy Kiwi cried out; Puffy Poofy didn't know what to do, she just ran 'round in circle of terror, again and again.
"Oh, it da pain! It da pain!" Puffy Poofy Husband cried, start running round in circle too!
It wa' too much, wifey in pain! It wa' too much, he couldn't take it. Puffy Poofy Huzzy so terrored, he not see he run right into Puffy Poofy Wifey without notice.
Too much! Poor Puffy Poofy Husband faint.
Puffy Poofy Wifey cry in terror, no more Huzzy! She wanted to be a-fainting right now too, but poor Puffy Poofy Body didn't know how!
Then pain hit full! Big oofy contracting of sensitive place!
She squawk, she screamed! It too much! She want to die! Poor Oofy Poofy Birdy feel contraction to no end. It just hurt. There no way to the other side. The other side too far away, through lots of loads and loads of oofy pain that poor Puffy Oofy Poofy Kiwi couldn't understand. But there no way back, there only now. Only now where Puffy Poofy Kiwi can only squawky-scream of pure pain. It complete ouch! Body foldin' inside out, that how big it was. Whole innards want to rip, Kiwi want die, but they can't, they just have go through this and not rip and die.
She can't take it, she run in circle in screamy-squawk, it too much for Poor Poofy Kiwi to take. She stick hiney in air, at least it cute hiney, but it also in excruciating oof hiney, she wish Huzzy could see it. But Huzzy see not'in', he fainted. Hiney only remain cute 'til egg not all inside.
But pain too intense to care much about Huzzy see, no poor Puffy Poofy Kiwi could survive this, Puffy Poofy Kiwi could only squawky-scream like there no tomorrow, hunch over with cute hiney in the air. She die, she need to die, but she don't. Oh why she live through such ouch! She right. Friend right. Why friend be right? This worse pain ever feel. Egg too big for anyone. There no way this right!
She push, she push, she scream, she oofy, but pain no end, it just keep comin', egg stretching poor Puffy Oofy Poofy body beyond all limits Puffy Poofy body can take, there no room for her there. But it not even halfway through yet, she has to stretch more, more oof to come. It not possible, there no more pain she can feel. But she feel it anyway, more and more, it just keep coming, no limit to how much oof the poor poofy body can do. It truly a huge egg! Why such puffy cuteness deserve to feel such pain?! Now poor poofy air hiney not be so cute no more when egg this so big.
But then it there, whole width through, no bigger it gonna get. But oh wow, she stretched beyond any believable way (Ouchy-oof!), whole egg as big as belly. But egg now halfway, it need only slide but the rest of the way. But as it do so, poor Puffy Poofy Kiwi gasp. Body so far stretched, body can't take such implode. Poor Puffy Poofy Oofy Kiwi finally faint.
Finally, Puffy Poofy Huzzy come too. He wonder where he are. Then he sees sweet wifey, slump on floor next to huge gigantic eggy (Wow, that big!). What just happen? Puffy Poofy Husband never know, but it look like pain. Oh poor wifey... At least it over.
Puffy Poofy Huzzy step up to wifey and look at her, oh she napping so peacefully. He puffied self up to plop down next to her, and da three of them, wifey, huzzy, and egg, all lay together on the floor, side by side, all sleepy peacefully.