FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

Welcome. 'Tis I, the mighty Tlumisog: King of Reality. Since I have been thinking a lot about myself lately, and all my noble feats of epic heroism, I've decided to write my humble autobiography of awe.

The first fact of life that I will share is that I am a tiger. What does being a tiger mean? Well, I... I'm not sure, but since I am a tiger, it must mean that being a tiger is important and something to be proud of. And proud of it I am.

From my very youngest days, I knew I was important. In fact, I knew I was the King of Reality. It has always been undeniably clear to me that I am the King of Reality, and this was a fact that I have humbly tried to bestow upon the world. Unfortunately, nobody listened, not even my Mum, who should have felt blessed to have brought into this world one such as I. Even my own siblings ignored my prophetic insight into my own being, and told me I was "mental".

I grew up in a jungle that I was never quite sure of the name of, because I never got around to naming it. Everybody tried to convince me it was already named, but because that name was something I clearly rejected, it remains unnamed to this day.

For a large portion of my young days, I attempted to lead my family into anointing me as their King, but they continually refused. It was due to this tragic rejection by my own kin that I chose to wipe the dust off my feet and leave.

Unfortunately, my claws were out when I wiped the dust off, and my paws left a trail of my royal blood through the rainforest.

My Mum found me the next day through some divine insight I have still yet to understand. Maybe she was drawn to my supreme influence, and just knew. (She claimed it was the trail of blood my paw pads left behind, but I knew the truth was more divine, considering it was about me and all). Unfortunately, whatever it was, she rejected it, and demanded I come home.

By that time though, I had already formed my own group of followers, and I had to say farewell to that poor lost soul I once called my mother, in order to lead my new team to the truth. I wished her farewell, and hoped that she would someday see the light. At this she laughed and said, "Okay sweetie, have fun."

Upon the promise that I would be safe with my new "friends" (of course I'm gonna be safe, hasn't she listened to anything I'd ever said about the King of Reality's powers), and that I'd be back by nightfall (back where, I'm not sure, but I hope it wasn't her home, because in that case, I completely forgot) she was gone.

But finally, I had my followers.

Had.

When I awoke the next day from my dreams of leading the world to a joy that can only be found in me, my followers were fleeing through the woods. Without me.

"Hey, wait up!" I called, scrambling to my mighty feet, and chasing after them. But by the time I caught up to where they were, they were no longer there, and I was the same distance away as I was when I started. I tried to use my powers over reality to shrink the gap between us, but my powers were mysteriously not working right, and I just ended up performing a dolly zoom with my vision. It was super cool, but it did nothing to bring my buddies back.

Eventually, they led me up the side of a cliff, which was totally messed up, because I'm the one destined to be leading them, when suddenly, I lost my balance (it can happen when you're balancing the entirety of reality on your shoulders), and I started to slide down the steep hill.

After smashing into a hard rock at the bottom, that I somehow failed to make softer, I looked up at the trail my followers were taking. After a few seconds they disappeared from sight.

And then the knowledge began to rain on me. I, the mighty King of Reality, was alone.