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End of fifth 5th period, AP chemistry.

"Excuse me, Lach?"

It was the middle of the din of lab equipment cleanup. I had just finished my leisurely cleanup of my lab group's vials and used PH strips when the female voice had caught my attention. It was Ellie, the student council record keeper, arms wrapping her books and folders tightly around her chest. It was weird that a quiet Raccoon like her would strike up a conversation with me. She always seemed far more interested in interacting with stationary than other people.

"Is something the matter, Ellie?" I asked with a polite smile.

She wasted no time getting straight to the point, speaking briskly, "You have a guest coming to visit you later today. He should arrive a few minutes after the end of seventh period school bell rings. I made sure to reserve this room after school so you two could talk in private, so please don't miss it." The Raccoon adjusted her glasses as I stared at her in utter confusion. "Now if you'll excuse me, I'd like to hurry to my next class so I can squeeze in a few minutes of homework before class starts."

"Wait, what do you mean 'a guest'?" I asked, but my soft voice hadn't carried to the Raccoon who had already turned her back on me, power walking to her next class.

I was left dumbfounded. A guest? For me specifically? It wasn't not like anything spectacular had happened to me in the past few weeks. What on earth could it be about?

I went up to Mrs. Kaldinger at her bauble-adorned desk, and asked if she knew anything about this outlandish arrangement to borrow her room after school. The elderly Armadillo with her poofy, easily-set-on-fire brown wig, responded mirthfully, "Oh yes! Apparently a very important person is coming to have a talk with you Lach dear. And don't worry about taking the chem room away from me, I'll just work in the staff lounge after school. Anything for Grovedale's record-breaking star runner!"

She pressed both of her claws together and gave a distinctly grandmotherly smile. It was a splendid smile, but I still felt my stomach sink. "I heard this guest will be the perfect motivation for you to shake the dust bunnies out of your long johns!"

What on earth does that mean...?

_ _

She giggled in a rising cadence before continuing, "Your ankle must be almost entirely healed, yes? Getting back in to running will be awfully difficult after you've been out of commission for so long, but I'm sure you can do it!"

Oh...

I felt a sense of bizarre discomfort, as if my shadow had just been stolen from under my feet.

Of course that's what this is about... I can never escape that damn record I broke...

I wasn't sure who to expect as I stood before the door to the chem room after school. Somebody important to help me get back into the groove of running once my 'broken' ankle healed... A motivational speaker maybe? No, that just seemed too unlikely. There was no point in thinking about it considering how odd the situation was. I just steeled myself for the unexpected and crossed the doorway threshold.

I didn't steel myself enough.

I was greeted by a familiar voice, "It's been a while Lachlan."

I felt a striking shiver crawl down to the soles of my feet.

It was Justin.

He was a tall Cheetah with an impeccable runner's build and strong tear marks that amplified the intensity of his handsome yet dour face. He wore tight sports shorts and a sleeveless white tanktop, reveling his lean muscular arms that seemed to go on for days. A black choker adorned his neck, drawing attention to the firm creases of his chest. He was looking as attractive as ever...

He was the only other runner who ever came close to matching me at a Cross country meet. He was my rival... my_old_ rival, from when I still ran. We had had an odd relationship, and so 'friend' wasn't quite the right word to describe what he was to me. After all, we weren't really friends, but we were also a little bit more than friends...

I wasn't sure whether to be unnerved or delighted, "J-Justin? Hi. You drove all the way from Lakewood Park? Shouldn't you be at cross country practice?" I said in an uneven squeaky voice.

He looked at me with that cold serious stare of his, leaning with folded arms against the island tables, "I faked sick to skip my last period at school, and Tuesdays we have practice off. I came to see you because I got an email from an anonymous member of your school." His gaze darkened. "It had several attachments. Medical records. Your medical records. You've been fully recovered for weeks now, yet you're still wearing a brace."

I choked up. What he said wasn't just an observation, but an accusation. I was taken aback. How did that information get leaked to him?! "You saw my medical records?" There was no strength in my voice (at least the question of whether to be unnerved or delighted was solved).

He straightened up and strutted over to me, leaving little distance between the two of us, "I was shown your medical records. I also received a call from the student council secretary insisting that I come to talk to you and see if I couldn't convince you to run again. Your school seems to have some really sketchy undertakings happening in the upper ranks."

This is the student council's doing then...

Again with this school and its obsession with success. When I came here as a freshmen everything seemed just peachy. Teachers were nice, if weird. People left me alone. No bullies or anything. But the obsession with achievement had always rubbed me the wrong way... I just wanted to live a peaceful life of leisure; who would have thought the student council would care so much about getting me to run again that they'd dig up my medical records?

I let out a half-sigh, half groan, "It... It's a long story. The long and short of it is that competitive running just hasn't been feeling right to me. So after I injured my ankle, I figured continuing to fake the injury with an ankle brace would be the best way to quit without disappointing everyone."

Justin's next comment utterly poleaxed me, "Do you have any idea how much you're screwing me over by not running here?" Looking up, completely at a loss for words, I slowly became painfully aware of just how much taller than me Justin was.

Again with people blaming me for just doing what I have to!

_ _

My brows lowered in part indignation, part fear, "A bit unwarranted, that? It's a personal decision for me, so it's really not any of your business."

"It is my business!" Justin all but roared at me. I backed up a step in fear, my tail and ears twitching. The Cheetah stared at me with deep contempt, so much so that his tear streaks seemed like daggers pointed at me, "I only got this far as a runner because of you! How am I supposed to take any of this seriously when I know that the greatest rival I've ever known is going to suddenly quit?"

I was never good in these kinds of situations. I just wanted to fade away. Be teleported to some place far away from here... But Justin was still there. Confronting me with those dangerous black eyes of his. He continued with unabated fervor, "I was humiliated when you beat me at states sophomore year. And again when you nabbed the state record from me under my nose. I also broke the 14:47 record that day, but only you got the recognition because you were slightly faster!"

"Justin..." I said weakly. I meant to placate him, but his anger marched on.

"Do you have any idea how low I've gone to be able to face you on last time at states? To finally settle the score? I've intentionally botched my timings in several meets so our school wouldn't get bumped up to division one. That and I did what I could to lower the timing of my other teammates. I was mocked and ridiculed by my teammates for that, not to mention the lectures from my coach. So imagine my face when I found out all that humiliation was all for nothing because you suddenly decided to quit!" he harangued with venom in his voice.

He was looking at me like... like I wasn't me anymore. I knew he had intense feeling about our rivalry, but this was far too much.

He towered over me, glaring down. Our muzzles were now mere inches apart. "You look like shit. Giving up running really hasn't treated you well."

He didn't understand, of course he didn't.

I felt anger well up inside of me. I back-stepped and stared Justin down, my voice strained with seeping anger and feelings of betrayal, "I wasn't well when I was running either! Sure I smiled and took the endless praise and accolades like nothing could please me more, but I was miserable! I didn't want fame, I didn't want rivals or enemies or to steal scholarships from other runners! I just wanted to RUN! Not all this malarkey that I have to deal with for happening to be good at something!"

I let out a frustrated huff, and gripped tightly at my temples. Painful feelings were coming from somewhere deep inside of me. "I've told you. About what happened to me... my demons... and how running helped. But it's not helping anymore. Not like this. So that's why I can't run. I'm sorry for not giving you the showdown you wanted, but either way, the magic that made me what I was is gone now."

Justin's hard look lost some of its edge. But for stone-faced Justin, that was quite something. "Have you entirely given up then? Is there nothing I can do to change your mind?" he said with in a tone that straddled desperate and pushy.

He put his paw on my shoulder. It felt warm, but it wasn't comforting warmth. I noticed the desire in his voice, but... it wasn't for me. It was for my running.

"Well... there is one last chance that I'll pick up running again," I said with a quiet sigh.

"What do you mean 'chance'?" Justin said with a dubious glare.

I begrudgingly told him all about my arrangement with Chris. About how his speech touched me, and how maybe he'd be able to show me something that'd inspire me. But I also told him about the odds and the training Chris was undergoing to try to get me back in on the team.

But Justin glared at me dryly, unamused. "You're entrusting your running career to a friend? You mean to tell me you can't even take control of your own future?! You'll hardly be in shape to run at states if you wait another two and a half weeks! Hell, your team might not even make it to states if you don't run in the remaining qualifying matches!" The scorn in his voice was palpable.

"Well maybe not, but there's still track," I offered weakly.

The look in Justin's hawkish eyes was one of deep offense, "There's still track! Don't make me laugh! You know as well as I do we won't be able to have another showdown in track and field. I never took you for someone so spineless Lachlan. And to think for a moment I almost bought your reason for quitting," He moved passed me to the door, forcefully bumping my side in the process.

I felt my ears flush up as they began to fold inward, "You're going to leave after insulting me like that, then?" I asked bitterly.

His paw on the doorknob, her look back at me scornfully from over his shoulder. "I'm not leaving. I'm going to request your coach let me run in your school's October 5k."

"What?!" I spat out in utter disbelief. "Why?!"

The side of his muzzle opened angrily to reveal gritted teeth, "Because if I can't be the one to finally beat you, then I'm going to be the one to finally end you. I won't get any satisfaction otherwise. So I'm going to crush this friend of yours in the race and that'll be that. You'll never run again."

"Y-You can't just do that!" I protested.

Justin's scoff was fit for a king, "Oh please, your coach would be pleased to have the new top runner in the state join for a practice. And it's not like you can give a good reason to your coach why I shouldn't run without revealing that you're a liar and a coward."

Images flashed in my mind of Chris, how strong and assuring he looked when he talked to me, the glitter in his eyes, that cute smile of his, his heartening words that kindled a small hope inside of me... and Justin was trying to ruin all of it.

I opened my mouth to come up with a reason for Justin to back off, anything, but nothing came out.

He was right.

...I was a coward.

And Justin honed in on that perfectly. "But you can still stop me, Lachlan. Take off your brace, right now," he said with a chilling might that all but pushed me backwards.

I felt my fingers and arms primed to move. If I could just take the brace off... I'd save Chris so much grief. Forget if people saw me, forget if they called me out on being a coward, and forget what I would go through. I couldn't let Justin ruin our promise. I only need to move my fingers... and undo the buckles to the brace.

...But my fingers didn't move.

"Yeah, I thought not," Justin said with a click of his mouth. And he left. A loud empty noise reverberate through the room.

And I was left there, feeling shaken and weak.

After school I drove to Docking Hills. I now stood at the familiar aged wooden sign that mapped the span of the park. I used to run here a lot, especially at the peak of my depression. It was a beautiful place, one that could often calm down my mind.

It was a massive state park, with verdant nature abundant. Mossy Rock formations that cradled tiny waterfalls, brilliant wildflowers populating forest floor, weather-beaten bridges that seamlessly connected the uneven terrain, jagged caves just taunting you to explore them, soaring trees that seemed to speak as their leaves rustled in the gentle wind...

And of course, a dirt path, well-loved by the soles of many a runner, that circuited a near perfect five kilometers. It was where Chris would run.

...And it was where he would lose.

The challenge Chris faced was now monolithic. Slim at his chances were, if the other boys on Grovedale's cross country team were his greatest competition then Chris might have been able to win. But Justin was now the top cross country runner in all of Ohio... the task wasn't just 'impossible', but impossible.

Oh Chris... you've always been there for me. Always smiling at me, sharing new songs, having goofy conversations about weird stories you found on the internet, inviting me to concerts and movies, convincing me to go to parties for me to find that I actually had fun at them, inviting me to go on jogs when I was bored out of my skull... And I couldn't even take off my useless brace for you.

What was I going to do?

Of course a part of me still wanted to run. Running saved my life, when I was in that dark dark place... It used to be so natural. So freeing. I found something in myself that I had lost. But all this 'star runner' malarkey had made running feel like a ball chain around my ankle. One more restricting than this brace...

At first, having the ankle brace had been nice. People said their condolences to me, singed my brace till there was no room left, and said so many kind things. But after my ankle had truly healed I developed this creeping feeling of being an imposter. Of me disappointing all those eyes around me. Of being a walking lie...

Justin was right about one thing: giving up running hadn't been treating me well. It was like my whole world has been dyed chrome. Like I've been living in the body of a stranger pretending to be me. Time flowing by me, always slipping through the open space between my fingers... lost forever. I wasn't suffering, not like I was last year, but I wasn't living either.

I could feel it. I needed to run. I just knew that it was the only thing that could make me feel right again. Just like it had been for me on that horrible day. It didn't matter if I didn't rejoin the team, it didn't matter if I put the brace back on later, just right here right now I needed to run. I hunkered down to undo my ankle brace. My fingers reached the strap, but then froze utterly still.

I couldn't do it.

Something was stopping me. I was choking on my own fear. I brought a paw up to my frozen face. I wasn't crying, but I felt so cold and empty. I stayed that way for an unknown amount of minutes. Hopelessly lost.

I'm so pathetic...