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After returning home from my job, I encountered Kiyoto-san right as he was about to leave.

He was in the clothes he wears just once a week. A flowing white biker gang jacket, embroidered on the back with the characters for 'boss'.

Jun: "You're heading out today too, huh?"

Kiyoto: "Yeah."

Jun: "Be careful out there. I don't know if I could handle it if something happened to you..."

Kiyoto: "You've said that before."

No matter how many times I tell it to him I still don't feel at ease.

He rolled out his motorcycle from within the parking lot. It was his other partner of a vehicle, one that only made appearances on Saturday nights. It was a deep crimson CBX with a long, tiered seat. He drove off without a helmet, his exhaust pipe roaring explosively.

I guess I really am attracted to his Yankee-ness.

But still, I can't help but be scared and ill at ease during this time.

What if he gets in an accident? What if one of his enemies gets him? What if the police catch him?

Once again I'm alone and feel like crying.

"I'm gonna quit when I turn twenty. This is the final year, and I have to see this through to the end."

That's what he told me. So, he just has to make it to the end of this year...

Jun: "Oh, I need to do laundry."

Can't ignore the laundry for two that's been piling up for days. As if to drown out my worries, I committed myself to cleaning up Kiyoto-san's apartment.

Oh, those boxer shorts I put into the laundry basket were Kiyoto-san's...

Wait, what the hell am I thinking?!

I'm such an idiot, thinking inappropriate thoughts from just looking at a pair of boxers...

But you know how the overwhelming temptation is from being alone.

And now that I'm living with another in an apartment, I have less chances to do 'that'.

Jun: "I'm sorry Kiyoto-san..."

I got on top of Kiyoto-san's bed and pressed my nose against the crotch area of the boxers. I was hard before I even began to play with my manhood.

Memories began to resurface of when I... creeped... on Kiyoto-san.

Jun: "Ah... Ah... Ah..."

The smell clinging to the boxers was a mixture of Kiyoto-san's regular scent and the heady odor of a man's groin.

I want to suck on that huge cock. Get ravaged by it...

That hottie... that toned body...

I want to be embraced by Kiyoto-san.

Delusional fantasies started playing at high speed in my mind.

Jun: "Fuck... Aaaaahhh..."

Even though I was totally alone when I jerked off and came, I began to feel embarrassed by the weird sound that suddenly came out of my throat.

Then again, I did just get off to Kiyoto-san's underwear.

Jun, you fucking pervert, what's wrong with you?

The clock pointed to just before midnight. From far in the distance, I began to hear the roaring of a biker gang's motorcycles. Probably wouldn't be long before a patrol car's siren started to sound as well.

"I have to see this through to the end."

It was rare of Kiyoto-san to speak with such a strong sense of duty.

Just what could be going on deep inside his heart?

I wanted to learn more about him.

I spotted a purikura photo that had fallen underneath Kiyoto-san's desk. Maybe it fell out of his wallet. The photo depicted Kiyoto-san with a blonde female Dog.

He said he didn't have any sort of lover...

He's such a hottie that it wouldn't be weird at all for him to have several ex-girlfriends.

But...

What's with this painful feeling I have?

I awoke at dawn to the sound of motorcycles. I finally felt at ease.

He managed to come back safely to me this time too.

Jun: "Welcome back."

Kiyoto: "I'm back. Did I wake you up again?"

Jun: "Ah, Kiyoto-san, you're injured..."

There was blood on his face and hands.

Kiyoto: "It's nothing. Go back to sleep."

Jun: "Alright..."

He took of his dirty biker jacket, and sat down on the bed by me.

Looking at him from the side with a cigarette in his mouth, he seemed darker than normal.

Kiyoto: "Sorry."

Jun: "..."

I was so glad.

But, letting out fake sleeping breath, I pretended I fell back asleep.

Just don't go if you're going to have to apologize to me.

I came close to blurting that out.

On Sundays my part time job lasts from morning to night.

After buying groceries on the way back, I noticed Kiyoto-san's car was parked in the lot. Guess even though it was a day off for him he wasn't going out.

His bike was still in the back of the lot with a blue tarp over it. Supposedly he hid it like that so as not to draw the eyes of any cops.

Jun: "I'm back."

Kiyoto: "Huh-?!"

Jun: "WAH, I'm so sorry!"

I closed the door almost immediately... But in the main room, above the bed, Kiyoto-san was naked from the waist down.

It was, yup, *that*.

I definitely saw him cumming too. After all, his hands couldn't cover that massive di-

...

After a few minutes I made sure to knock on the door before entering.

Above his desk there were tons of empty cans of alcoholic drinks.

So that's why he was so slow to realize I had come back.

Jun: "I'm really sorry."

Kiyoto: "It's fine."

I wondered if the alcohol was what was making his ears red.

Jun: "This is rare for you. You always drink this much?"

Kiyoto: "Sometimes."

I got to work on preparing dinner, but still couldn't shake the awkward feeling.

Even though it wasn't like he ever talked all that much anyway.

From looking at the number of cigarette butts in the ash tray, it seemed like he'd been drinking at home since pretty early.

Jun: "Are you going to shower?"

Kiyoto: "Already took one."

Jun: "Will you want to eat dinner?"

Kiyoto: "Yeah."

Even as he spoke he was staring in the other direction.

It was kinda scary...

There was an uncanny feeling in the air as we ate dinner.

He had been drinking beer and chuhai, and now he was on to shochu. Was he going to be alright?

Jun: "Um..."

Kiyoto: "What?"

Jun: "I am really sorry."

Kiyoto: "What for?"

Jun: "Huh? But I... caught you m-masturbating."

Kiyoto: "Huuuuuh? Why do you give a fuck about that?"

Jun: "What? But I figured you were mad at me from that."

Suddenly he started glaring right at me, but spoke in a low, flat voice.

Kiyoto: "Like I'd get mad 'cause of that. Stuuuuupid."

His normally sharp and unshakable expression was gone. He did seem characteristically sullen, but his face was vacant without any strength in it.

Jun: "W-What's going on with you Kiyoto-san? You're not like you usually are."

Kiyoto: "Oh? What's the usual meeee?. Or do you mean the 'me' that you think you know?"

Jun: "What?!"

He smacked his glass of shochu down hard on the table.

That's scary!! This guy is fucking wasted!

This was the first time I ever saw him like this.

Kiyoto: "Don't you be fuckin decidin who I am all on ya own!"

Jun: "Eep!"

Suddenly he grabbed my shirt. For a moment he looked right about to yank me by my collar, but then let go and turned his face downward.

Before I realized it, he was resting his face on my lap. What the hell is up with this guy? Is this what getting drunk makes you do?!

Kiyoto: "Even I have a lot of shit going on..."

Jun: "W-W-Wait up a minute! What was that all about just now?!"

Kiyoto: "I just want to feel better."

Jun: "You just want to... feel better?"

The situation had developed into a drunk Kiyoto-san was using my lap as a pillow.

Even though Kiyoto-san is usually completely stoic.

Like a cranky sleepy child, he looked at me with cloudy, upturned eyes.

He had so much alcohol in his system that his ears were entirely red. One of his hands was resting by my crotch, dangerously close to my junk...

Jun: "Are you doing alright?"

Kiyoto: "Eeeeven I'm not all that strong. Sometimes I just want to run the fuck away. Just say fuck it to my team and not give a shit how it looks."

Jun: "H-Huh?"

What's with that? He's not talking about work is he? No, by 'team' he had to mean his biker gang.

I don't know much about the world of Yankees, but I can understand that in it there's a hierarchies, various social relations, factions, and even enemies.

Kiyoto-san, who always looks like a complete freewheeler, has told me he's been in his biker gang since he was 16. Now he's bearing the position of gang leader and declaring he has to "see this through to the end". There's no doubt that he has a long history with, and strong feelings about this gang of his.

Kiyoto: "But I ain't ever pull back... aaaaah, fuuuuuck."

...But there has to be burden that comes with all that.

Even though he seems so strong, the extent of stress I feel from him... And in this time where he's away from all of those things...

Who could ever imagine that a gang leader who rides a CBX would be acting all cuddly on top of my lap?

It's fucking something all right.

Also cute.

Jun: "Kiyoto-san... You're kind of, uh..."

Kiyoto: "What?"

Jun: "Your hand's placed kind of close to my..."

He was probably too drunk to realize that he was placing his hand on my crotch.

Kiyoto: "Sorry."

So he said and got up.

Any longer and my junk would have started getting excited.

Kiyoto: "You drink somethin too."

Jun: "Oh, thank you very much. I'll take a beer then."

Kiyoto: "Don't wanna fruity chuhai?"

Jun: "No, I'll have a beer!"

Damn that's bitter.

Kiyoto: "Don't force yourself."

Jun: "I'm not forcing myself!"

_ _

I hold you tight~

I touch your heart~

I hang my head~

I hold you tight again~

I pull myself together~

I pull away~

Just like that song, maybe all this was a part of you that nobody but I know. Heh...

But maybe there's somebody out there, who knows a Kiyoto-san that I don't.

Even though we've been living together there still appears to be many things I don't know about you.

Jun: "Kiyoto-san! If you're going to pass out at least do it on the futon!"

Kiyoto: "Huuuuh? Oh..."

Jun: "This is really something."

Imma take a picture of him sleeping like a slob so I can keep it as a personal joke.

It's a painful and bitter world, but that's how it is for everyone. Even Kiyoto-san.

Even just one place where you can be weak and vulnerable is something precious.

And I wonder...

If being with me could be that somewhere for you...