Clueless Chapter 22: The Closeted Gay Furry’s Guide to being ‘Extra’

Story by Ellard on SoFurry

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#24 of Clueless

I hope you enjoy THE LONGEST LUNCH PERIOD EVER.

Thanks again for reading, and of course special thanks to Arafor for helping me edit! Comments and suggestions are always welcome ^^


After our little chat, Daren and I made way for the lunchroom. The Rottie looked both nervous and grump for most of the way, his paws balled up in his hoodie pocket. He did say a polite 'goodbye' to Mrs. Grevenieks who, surprisingly, responded back by saying "Goodbye Daren" in a relatively normal tone. I asked what his secret was to getting her to not talk like a satanic harpy: apparently treating her like a normal person instead of a freak of nature and freaking out at everything she says and does is a good way to get her to relax around you... go figure.

A few nerves were evident in Daren's demeanor as we walked downstairs to the school's west wing, but once we entered the lunch room the change was dramatic. The big Rottie stopped dead after a single step in. His jaw fell slack, and his eyes opened up and surveyed the area as if he had just entered a portal to an alternate dimension. I mean, sure it was a little bit crowded, but his reaction seemed a bit much.

Realizing that Daren had stopped, I looked back at him across my shoulders. "You uh, doing alright, Daren?" I asked, walking up to him by the clear glass doors, covered in preppy posters for the upcoming homecoming game.

"Kinda intimidated...this place crowded as hell," Daren said, tightly gripping the crooks of his arms, his gaze jumping from table to table. "Looks like a whole buncha complicated clique shit happenin' here."

I felt odd to hear that the ruckus and social groupings of the cafeteria could be so intimidating; it was just so every-day for me. "It's not that bad! Here, let me explain real fast," I said as reassuringly as I could, placing a paw on his shoulder. I started pointing at the different groupings of lunch tables with my other paw and named them off (luckily Chris made me watch 'Mean Girls' several times, so I knew how to succinctly explain lunchroom cliques in a hundred words or less!).

"You've got your giant freshman enclave,"

"ROTC meatheads,"

"Goth slash emo kids," I.E. my sister's friends, stay away

"Eternally underappreciated musicians,"

"Sexually active band geeks,"

"Regular geeks,"

"But they're not to be confused with the the K-pop slash Japan-o-phile geeks," Oh God that could have been me, half my Japanese 3 class is there.

"Unfriendly Feline hotties,"

"Timid herbivores,"

"Aggressive Carnivores,"

"Girls who eat their feelings away,"

"Girls who don't eat anything at all,"

"Cheerleaders slash Basic bitches,"

"Nerdy Asian Furs,"

"Cool Asian Furs,"

"Rulers of this known world," basically a mix of the student council, unbelievably rich kids and star players in several sports teams at the center most lunch table.

"JV jocks,"

I finally pointed to a familiar section of the lunch room, close to the center. "Aaaand your Varsity jocks, that's us by the way. You're technically not supposed to sit there unless you're on a varsity sports team, but my friends and I sit at the 'remainder table' so we have room for an extra tag along or two."

Daren stared at me as if I had just explained everything in a foreign language. "What... What the hell? There's rules? That's so damn confusing! If I didn't have you guys to sit with, where should I even sit?"

I took a moment to consider it. "Well, you could probably wedge your way in to the Aggressive Carnivores." Daren glared at me. I smiled back sheepishly.Sorry, not sorry it's kinda fitting. "But other than that... Oh right, I guess I missed that one group." I pointed out to a sad-looking group of furs in one of the far off corner tables. They looked like they were caught between counting the hours before school ended and forcing awkward conversation with each other.

"I guess you could sit with the 'clique-less', or as most people call them, the 'social rejects', no entry barriers there." I didn't realize that Daren would take my comment like a slap in the face. He looked half offended and half terrified, which certainly made me question my choice of words. "Okay actually, I'm starting to see why High School lunchrooms might be a bit intimidating..." I said with a low awkward laugh.

Daren let out a throaty, exasperated groan, but then took a deep breath and looked resolved anew. "Whatever, let's just get this over with. Can't believe all this fuckin'... suburban socialite bullshit." As Daren and I made our way over to the table, each step we took seemed to rub away at the Rottie's solemn manly confidence. His expression was slowly melting from 'hard badboy' to 'terrified pupper who's about to be yelled at'.

I was worried that everybody would be forcibly mechanical with how they acted when greeting Daren, but the vibe at the table was pretty chill. Allie was still on her phone, Scott was talking to Marty about our upcoming match with Anderson High, Chris was chatting up a somewhat less depressed Jayce about one of his favorite bands 'Literally Dragons'... The only oddity was Toru who seemed kind of spacy, staring off in Scott's general direction with a vacant grin. No idea what that was about...

Daren stopped just before the table's two open seats, and gulped down as if he was about to give a half-assed presentation to the entirety of the school. I had never seen Daren this submissive not even when I topped him. The fear on his muzzle was palpable.

The guys at the table looked up at the big Rottie, relaxed, but eyes expecting. Daren briefly opened his mouth as if to say something, but all that came out was a tiny whining sound. His eyes darted around a bit, and he then nudged me in the arm, eyes desperate with panic. I guess he wanted me to lead into it? ...Alright "Hey guys, I found Daren," I said casually to the group.

The guys greeted Daren with a couple of 'Hey's and 'Sup's. I could smell the sweat perpetrating from Daren as he finally managed to say something, "Uh, hey, y'all... mind if I join y'all for a bit?" His voice hardly carried through in the noisy lunch room. This really was hard for him, wasn't it? bIZARRE!1!1

"Sure bro, you can sit next to me and Rob!" Scott said with a happy chipper, gesturing to the two open seats on his right. The extra seats usually didn't end up adjacent to each other, but I guess the guys rearranged slightly so Daren could sit next to me. That was nice of them.

Daren nodded timidly and took the seat immediately right of Scott. "Aight, cool..." the Rottie's motion of sitting down was slow and calculated, no confidence in it whatsoever. It was hard to believe that this was the same confident hunk I went out on a date with.

Everyone was looking at Daren with polite smiles on their muzzles. I knew what that meant: time for the self-introduction talk that Daren dreaded so. With Daren's best interests in mind, I took the initiative and mediated the process, "So, maybe you've met some of the guys at least once in your classes, so I'll just briefly introduce everybody for you." Daren nodded lightly. I began gesturing to everyone in a counterclockwise motion, staring with everyone's favorite derpy Bull, "This is Marty... He's really tough, but uh, has trouble breathing and blinking at the same time. Let's just leave it at that."

Marty blinked a few times before sucking in air loudly. He gave Daren a friendly 'hey there!'. I moved on to the mopey iguana in a collared shirt and glasses. "That's Jayce. He's kind of nerdy but he's super valuable as a strategist for the football team."

"A pleasure..." Jayce said eloquently, if not a bit dejected.

One of these things is not like the other, one of these things has a vagina! "The questionably dressed squirrel is Allie. She's with us today for... reasons. Also, don't tell her any of your secrets." Daren's brows tightened, unnerved at my comment.

Eyes still stuck on her phone, Allie just put one paw up in the air with a shrug, "It's fine, I probably know them anyway."

Let's move on before she says anything else cryptic and eerie. I moved on to the blond wolf with a 'Radiohead_'_T-shirt over a long sleeve shirt. "That's Chris. He's into music and gets emotionally invested in the most random things. Also don't call him short."

"Hi Daren, nice to finally talk to you." He said with a happy smile.

On to Scott's B-list sexual assault victim. "That's Toru, he's a twin and... um." Upon closer inspection, Toru really was out of it today. He was sitting with a randomly contented smile as if he were 420 blazing it on Cloud nine, not even bothering to look at his food as he ate it. He didn't even seem to realize we were going around doing introductions. What was with that? Wasn't he traumatized in the locker room just a while ago?

Daren craned sideways to ask me a discrete question, "He doin' a'ight upstairs?"

I wasn't quite sure how to answer. Was he doing alright upstairs? I hope Scott didn't break him or something with all that grinding earlier. "Toru, you doing alright over there?"

It took the Akita a good two seconds to respond, his ears erecting tightly with sudden recognition. "Huh? Oh, I'm totally fine!"

"You just seem kind of... distracted." I mentioned mildly as the Akita started jamming a French fry into his eye.

"Toru, food goes in your muzzle, not in your eye," Jayce offered.

The Akita's ears turned as red as the ketchup smeared over his eyelid. He gave us an embarrassed smile, "Oh, right, I knew that, haha..." I cleared my throat loudly and moved on to everybody's favorite jock Polar Bear.

"Okay... And on your left is Scott, who you've probably met already in physics class," Not to mention how we've already had a full conversation on my big fat gay crush for him.

"Pleasure, bro!" Scott said with a big toothy smile. It was good that Scott was friendly but uh... maybe grabbing onto Daren's biceps and feeling them up was a bit too friendly. "I gotta say, bro, you're huuuuge! Look at these guns! Do you play football at all? I bet you'd make a sick lineman!"

Wow, not even two minutes and football already got brought up. I guess that was to be expected though, since our table is part of the Varsity Jock area. I just hoped Daren could hold a conversation about it; we haven't really talked about football or other sports much.

Daren shook his head a little, his brows furrowing uncomfortably as he slowly pulled his arm away from Scott. "Nah, I do weight lifting but I ain't play any sports. Actually, I ain't even know the rules to football."

...Oh, guess not.

Scott leaned forward in disbelief, paws finally off Daren's massive bicep. "Wait, you don't even know the rules to football?"

Here it comes... "Scott you're not going to-"

"CRASH COURSE!" the Polar Bear yelled out jovially, arms pumped up into the air.

Dammit.

Scott saw my worried expression and gave me a dismissive smile. "Don't worry Rob, I'll go fast." Counting with his fingers as he listed the... everything in football. He was talking even faster than my AP Lit teacher Mr. Jiggers when he realizes that he needs to fit in the remaining 20 minutes of a lecture into the last 3 minutes of class. "You'vegottwoteams,offenceanddefensethatlineupona100yardfieldnotincludingtheendzones,wheretheoffenseteamhasfourperiods,or'downs'totrytogettheballtotheothersideofthefieldforpointsbeforepossessionoftheballispassedovertotheotherteam.Buttheycanalsokickor'punt'theballover,usuallyinthefourthdowntomovethlineofscrimmagefartherawayfromtheirowngoalpostbeforetheotherteamgoesonoffence.Thepositionsinfootball,startingwithoffenseareCenter,that'smypositionbytheway,guard,tackle,quarterback,runningback,widereceiver,andtight end.TheCenter'sjobisto..."

Even I was having trouble following Scott's words, and I already knew the rules to football, obviously... Poor Daren was clearly lost. Scott was getting progressively faster with his explanation, and just kept going on and on... I tuned out for most of it. After a good minute and a half of intelligibly over-enthusiastic speak, Scott finally finished up.

"...althoughthatdoesn'tevencovertypesofplaysstrategyorpenaltiesbutI'llleavethatforanothertime,that all clear?" Scott was panting by the time he finished.

Daren glanced at me, uncertain. I mouthed to him to 'just pretend you understand'.

"...Crystal clear." Daren responded unsteadily to Scott.

Scott put his paws on his hips with a bright smile, beaming with self-satisfaction. "Awesome-sauce! I'm getting good at this!" I wanted to let Scott know that, no, he really wasn't.

"I'm curious though, Rob, Football is like, half of what you do," Chris asked after sipping up the last drops of his milk carton. Half of what I let people know I do, anyway."If Daren doesn't know anything about football, what have you guys been bonding over?"

Oh shit, I hadn't thought of that. What had we bonded over, exactly... oh no.

Don't say 'dick', don't say 'dick', don't say 'dick'

_ _

"Dick..." FUCK "...ing around by playing video games?" I offered.

All the guys, especially Jayce nodded their heads approvingly. Scott, still panting, gave Daren a thumbs up. "Oh righteous, bro! Do you play Super Smash Brahs? I've been looking for a new victim -I mean- person to play with."

Daren nodded once, responding with mild enthusiasm. "Yeah... I play Smash sometimes."

"Don't ever play Smash with Scott," Jayce insisted, his words flavored with all kinds of bitter memories.

Jayce wasn't giving bad advice, but... luckily, Chris pressed on before the conversation devolved into all the awful times Scott had destroyed us at the game and how most of us don't want to play with him anymore. "Excellent. What else?" Wow, wolfy boy seemed awfully curious about me and Daren. Wonder if he had a thing for Rottweilers? I wouldn't be surprised if he were gay considering how effeminate he could be.

Oh wait that question was for me. "Uh, well there's..."

_ _

Don't say 'cock', don't say 'cock', don't say 'cock'

"Co..." _FUCK NOT AGAIN "...Co..._ntracting our muscles through various forms of weightlifting?"

Everyone exchanged a few glanced at my obviously forced wording. Daren mustered enough strength in his voice to speak up to everyone again. "Uh... I've been givin' him tips on how to lift more efficiently." Thanks for the save Daren.

Scott pursed his lips out and gave a few understanding nods. "I can certainly appreciate the desire to get swol! And you are really packing, man!" Aaaand Scott's filthy filthy paws were all over Daren's left arm again. "How thick are your arms, exactly?" C'mon Scott, hands off my Doggie!

"Nineteen inches, not including fur. Uh, my right's a bit bigger than my left, though..." Daren responded humbly, pulling his arm away from Scott with a bit of force.

Scott finally got the memo from Daren's body language and stopped groping. It didn't seem to bother the Polar Bear at all though, "Daaaamn, I only got to seventeen inches recently! I want your arms, bro! Give them to me! #Imma Frankenstein that shit." Daren was still tense, but let out a few low chuckles. Scott was always good at making people feel comfortable... or uncomfortable, depending on his capricious mood.

Allie finally took her eyes off her phone and looked at me and Daren with a smug smile, seemingly bored with the conversation up until now. "Soooo what else? Anything less... obvious?" she asked, noticeably licking her front bucked teeth. Dammit, I'm really not liking the vibe I'm getting from her today!

Don't say 'penis', don't say 'penis', don't say 'penis'

_ _

"Pen..." _Fuck, not again! What else starts with 'pen'??! _"...uts, peanuts. We also bonded over peanuts."

Marty finally contributed something to the conversation. "Peanuts? I love peanuts!" Marty, you love everything edible...

Daren looked at me, confused as balls. "Rob, I hate peanuts."

Fuck. Shit. Crap."Exactly! We bonded over our mutual hatred for peanuts. Do you know they're technically not even nuts, but legumes? How stupid is that, right?" I said with more than a few nervous chuckles.

Jayce and Chris exchanged glances. "What an oddly specific thing to bond over," the iguana commented flatly.

I gotta cut off this topic before I say a Freudian slip I can't recover from. "Did you guys know that Daren's also really smart?! He's in BC calc! It's super interesting to talk to him about random stuff!"

Daren shrunk back a bit at the compliment, embarrassed. It was pretty cute, actually. "Rob, I ain't even that smart..."

"Let me put him to the test then!" Scott said giddily, rubbing his dirty dirty paws together. Scott, no please... "What's a million plus a million?"

Daren's response was immediate, "2 million." The Rottie actually looked baffled at how easy the question was.

Scott blinked a few times, processing the immediate response that he wasn't expecting. His nose twitched. "Oh shit, that was really fucking easy, wasn't it...?" he muttered to himself. "What about a million times a million?"

Again, no hesitation on Daren's part. "A trillion..."

Scott started counting with his fingers, and then quickly gave up. "Jayce is that right?"

"Excuse me? I mean, yeah, he's right..." Jayce said, irritated that Scott was dragging him into his game.

...This was certainly a slippery slope. "Scott, why are you asking questions that you don't know the answer to?" I protested.

Scott broke into one of his famous devilish smirk, completely ignoring my comment on his flawed questioning tactics. "What about a trillion times a trillion?" the Polar Bear propositioned.

Actually, that was pretty hard. Shit, what was a trillion times a trillion? Do I even know the name for a number that high? "Scott, come on who even knows how to count past a trillion..." I mentioned.

After only a brief pause Daren responded "A septillion." Woah, nice.

Again, Scott clearly didn't know the answer. How fitting for a member of the varsity jock table. "Jayce, is he right?" Jayce rolled his eyes back and shook his head in disapproval. "What? You're the smart one. Help a Bear out."

Jayce sighed, but then faltered. He looked lost. "I'm... actually not sure from off the top of my head. Instinctively I'd think it'd be a sextillion, but..."

Daren's eyes lit up. He spoke out in a voice brimming with enthusiasm unseen for him all day. "Yeah, you'd think it'd be a sextillion, but remember that a trillion has 4 commas worth of zeroes, not three. The nomenclature for large numbers be one lower from the amount of commas -A quadrillion has 5 commas, a quintillion has 6 et cetera- meaning that for a trillion times a trillion, 4 comas worth of zeroes squared makes 8 commas, which, because of the fractured nomenclature, means for the name you should think '8 for octillion' minus 1 equals '7 for septillion', therefore the answer be a septillion."

...I did not follow that explanation at all.

"Ow, my head hurts..." Marty proclaimed, rubbing around his clipped horns with a cringing expression.

Jayce was verifying the answer on his phone, probably on the Wikipedia page for large numbers.... "He's right! Oh my goodness, I haven't even thought of that!" Jayce looked back at Daren with a new brightness in his eyes, his gloomy mood lifted. The iguana was suddenly very intrigued in Daren's being. "You have earned my respect," he stated earnestly. Daren cracked a tiny smile.

Were math questions seriously the most effective icebreaker here?!

"Damn. He just lecture Jayce. That's impressive!" Scott said, with a befittingly impressed expression.

"Do you learn that kind of stuff in calc?" Chris asked with a tilted head.

Daren shook his head. "That ain't even calc. That just number theory."

Suddenly Scott clapped his paws together loudly and grinned as if a lightbulb just went ding above his head. "Oh hey, speaking of zeros, that reminds me! You're new to Ohio, right? Do you know about the Ohio arm thing?" Not this preppy bullshit again...

"How on Earth did that remind you of the Ohio arm thing?" Jayce questioned.

Marty was fastest to answer, "Is it because they both have the number 'O' in them?"

"Marty, that would be the letter'O'..." Chris corrected.

Marty's brows raised up. "Oh, letter'O' not number 'O', oh, of course, oh, uh-oh Spaghetti O's, heh..."

"You know bro, this thing." Scott started moving his arms to form the different letters of "Ohio". The shape of the H, of course, being a bit dubious.

You could easily see the confusion on Daren's face. "I ain't got no clue what that is." And that was probably for the best, except Scott just had to bring up the stupid thing.

Be merciful Scott, please. Daren needs time to breathe, not more dumb antics!

Scott's excitement intensified. "Then allow us to demonstrate: Ohio Rangers, assemble!" Noooo, what is this? Kindergarten?!

That was the cue for me, Chris, Jayce, Scott and Marty to get into formation and... spell out Ohio with our arms. Goddammit, this is the lousiest state tradition ever! Ugh, I wish I had the balls to tell Scott this was stuuuuupid.

But I didn't have the balls for that. The five of us lined up across from Daren's seat. We formed O-H-I-O-!

"O!" Scott loudly proclaimed, arms forming a circle.

"H," I said halfheartedly, both arms flanking my head vertically.

"I!" Chris said happily, arms pressed together, straight up in the air.

Marty was a little late to get his arms into a circle, "I'm also the number 'O', uh, I mean letter 'O'!"

Goddamn it Marty...

"...I am the unnecessarily added on exclamation point," Jayce said with a sigh. Jayce had by far the worst pose, arms down by his sides and legs fanned out to form a roughly circular shape. It was really only supposed to be the four letters, but... there was five of us on the varsity football team, so we forced in another spot.

"Together we make..." That was Scott's cue for the final bit. "OHIO!" I yelled out in sync with the others, even though I would almost prefer stabbing myself in the eye with a rusty fork.

Some of the furs at other varsity jock tables were eying us amused or mockingly. "Gaaaaaaaaaaaay" One of them yelled out. It sounded like Sean's douchy Fox friend Clark. The rest of the other varsity jock table started chuckling lightly at the jest.

Scott, Marty and I laughed along with the comment. "Love you too man," Scott called back mockingly. On some level I knew even as a joke a comment like that wasn't okay, but hey, sometimes it's just easier to go alone with the jokes, right? It wasn't the same for Jayce and Chris though. They both looked seriously irked by the comment. They always were the oddballs out on the varsity team though, so I guess I can't blame them for not playing along.

The reaction from our table was also... not so positive. Toru clapped his paws a few times, but quickly stopped a when he realized nobody else was into it. "Y'all a bunch of dorks." Daren said dryly.

"Yeah, you guys are being super fucking extra right now," Allie said, still playing some game or the other on her phone.

It dawned on me that I wasn't quite sure what she meant. "What does 'extra' mean?" I quietly asked Scott as we headed back to our seats.

He looked at me blankly. "Dude, it's slang. It means like, 'trying way too hard'. How do you not know that? We say that shit all the time."

I rubbed the back of my head. "I dunno man, for some reason it feels like my sense of time has been on hiatus for three years..."

"Uh, that's really weird, dude," Scott said dismissively as we sat down. "Anyway, we covered football, hobbies, smarts, the Ohio arm thing... what else?"

That was Allie's cue to fuck us all over. "So Daren, you like fat dick, right?"

The Squirrel's lack of tact struck me like a jab to the liver. It felt like all my fur was about to shed from sudden stress. The others' reactions were all over the place: Scott's mouth went wide open in amused surprise. Jayce recoiled as if he just got a big whiff of spoilt milk. Chris' ears were turning red from the comment. Toru shot milk out of his nose like a cartoon character (oh yeah, he wasn't here when I mentioned that, was he...?), Marty blinked a few times, and Daren... looked strangely shaken by the question.

Most everyone was looking at Allie questioningly. She raised both her paws defensively. "What? We were all thinking it. Figured I might as well be the one to break the ice on the topic. Forgive a girl for wanting to cut to the chase."

"W-Why do you know that?" Daren finally asked. Suddenly I got the feeling that I might have made a very poor decision earlier today...

"Well, Rob told us, you were openly gay. No biggie, yeah?" Allie mentioned, licking her bucked teeth again.

"...Yeah that's fine, ain't no problem at all," Daren responded coolly after a brief pause. Except then he glared me through the corner of his eye and whispered from the side of his mouth through gritted teeth so that only I could hear, "when Rob flaps his big fuckin' mouth."

I gulped. He... He was out right? Was I not supposed to mention that he was gay? Uh oh...

Allie continued in a nonchalant tone despite how batshit creepy she was talking, "Well I just wanted to know that if you ever make out or do things with another guy, I'll totally pay to watch in on it."

"Good grief Allie, not this again..." Jayce said with a heavy sigh. Toru started mumbling something under his breath as he began wiping up the spilled milk, his stupor now shattered, apparently.

"N-Nah I'm good..." Daren said, embarrased. And then... the Rottie rounded his head toward me eerily slowly. His words were cordial but his eyes and restrained expression were full of angry fiery vengeance, "Excuse me Robert, but might we gander on over to the hallway for a bit of a private chat?"

HOLY SHIT!

That was not right! Is that what he does when he's angry?! Talks way too formally?! Hearing him talk that like that was worse than claws scrapping a blackboard! Nyaaah~

"Yeah, okay, uh, excuse us for a moment guys..." I said as Daren and I began to head for the hallway, leaving the others in a state of confusion.

I felt like I was being escorted to the principal's office for doing something lewd and inappropriate. Like... I was caught sticking science lab test tubes up my butt or something, uh, not that I've ever done that.

When we arrived by the deserted doors to the outside, the bombarding started. Despite keeping his voice down, Daren's words came out as intense staccato barking, "You ain't tell them you was gay, but you told them about me?! The hell were you thinkin'?!" He poked at me hard in the chest with his index finger.

My eyes were tensing heavily from the sudden stress. I started frowning worriedly in recognition that I had fucked up big time. "But you told me you were openly gay?"

He snarled at me. "I said I was honest 'bout bein' gay! I sure ain't deep in the closet like you is, but my sexuality sure as hell ain't the first goddamn thing I want you tellin' your friends 'bout me! That's somethin' I should decide when to tell them!"

Shit, I really didn't think this 'invite Daren to meet my friends' thing through. Maybe I could buy time to think by making excuses like an idiot!

"H-Hey, I'm not that deep in the closet, a couple of people know! Even if I never... actively told them..." Okay maybe he had a point there. If Daren and my parents hadn't indirectly found out about me, I'd still be way far back in the closet along with the Christmas wrapping and the door to Narnia. "Okay, okay, you're right. I'm sorry, I just figured it'd be a good way to realize if my friends would be cool being around a gay guy-"

"-So you wanted me to be yo' fuckin' Guineapig to see how they react? And you ain't even think to ask me first?" Evidently I had just put oil on Daren's angry flames. Way to go Rob, you're really good at this...

"It sounds really underhanded when you put it that way! Plus, I feel like that expression is racist again Guineapi-"

"Don't try to dodge the question!" Daren hissed, his voice going above the low level he'd been holding up until now. He got a little bit of spittle on me. I flinched. "You have any idea how damn awkward that's gon' be? Coverin' fo yo' ass when I'm out in the open?!" He shut he eyes tight and shook his head fiercely to himself, evidently regretting his decision to trust me... That stung a little. "Man, why did I even bother to listen to you... So fuckin' embarrassin'."

Oh no oh geez oh no oh geez I really fucked this up, didn't I? I felt like such a dumb piece of trash for embarrassing Daren when I was trying to help him be social and make friends. How could I be such an idiot! "Daren, I'm sorry, I didn't think things through! Please just go along with it! It won't be for long, I swear I'll tell them the truth soon, just not today! I'll do anything you want!" I was entirely sincere. Daren was one of the most wonderful guys I'd ever met and I was seriously crushing hard on him and I wouldn't want something like my dumb clueless attempts to reconcile my sexuality getting between us.

Daren didn't say anything for a while. He just gave me a glare so sinister it seemed like it could burn an acid hole into me. "Anything?" he finally said in a cryptic flat tone.

"Y-Yeah."

His eyes narrowed on me. "A'ight, here's my condition for playin' along with yo' damn bullshit. We gon' have sex this weekend, and YOU is gon' be on bottom." I felt my heart skip a beat. Daren gave me a few more gabs in the chest with his finger for good measure. "You lucky as hell I get horny when I'm angry." I looked down at Daren's crotch and oooh yeah, that was a boner. Sure am seeing a lot of those today...

Well, in some twisted sense I guess my anal cherry was a fair price to pay for outing Daren without his permission. I just forgot how thick Daren was. I hoped that it wasn't going to hurt too much... "O-Oh, I guess that's fine..." I gulped. "I just don't know how to clean myself... down there."

"I'll let you borrow my enema." Daren said matter-of-factly.

"I don't even know what that is!"

"Shuddup, I ain't finished yet! You're gon' take my knot too, all of it"

_ _

My eyes widened. "I-Is that going to hurt?"

"You bet yo ass it is. But that ain't all: you gon' call me 'daddy' too, the whole damn time, ya got that?!

Shit, does he know I'm into that?!

"Y-Yes daddy," I whimpered weakly.

"Not now, dumbass!" Daren hissed, knocking me lightly behind the head.

"Sorry..." I apologized, my ears folded back in embarrassment, paws covering where Daren knocked me (even though it didn't hurt all that much).

Daren let out a long, frustrated huff. "A'ight, it's a deal then. I'll play along with yo stupid extra straight boy act, for now. Let's just finish this damn shitshow..."

"Thank you, Daren! Thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou!" I said with oodles of relief as I followed him back into the lunchroom.

What was that about my straight-boy act being 'extra', though? I wasn't being completely extra about this whole thing, was I?