A Warrior's Heart, Chapter 26

Story by BlindTiger on SoFurry

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#26 of Heart's Bond Book 2 - A Warrior's Heart

Strong Soul examines her past as well as her future.


Strong Soul found herself wandering the corridors of the Rose when she wasn't needed on the bridge, and now that they were well and truly away from the scene of the battle and on their way back to Mss'ranaw, the small fleet had little use for her. Everything was running smoothly, and there were many more knowledgeable than her in the day to day operations of the ship, so she left them to it. It was, however, becoming tradition to have a Frr'a'narr'ah on the bridge all the time now, so that there was always someone in the place of command on the ship. The other Mrr'tani felt more comfortable having one of the Mothers there, comforted by the fact that there was someone who knew what was going on.

She couldn't understand exactly what it was that made them more comfortable, since it really didn't matter when they were on the bridge or not. Even in her walk through the corridors, she could feel the others around her, she could run any part of the ship, she could watch through her Guardians' eyes as they prowled the ship, ever alert for anyone who may have missed the countless other sweeps they'd made. She could smell the food cooking in the galley, feel the fur beneath a med tech's fingers as he probed a bruised flank. It was all right there no matter where she went, but the others wanted a figurehead, someone they could look up to and see in the proper place. It was all mere curiosity to her, but she didn't begrudge them their desires. She simply tried to fulfill them when she could.

Beside her, Wind Blade walked with silent steps, preferring like Strong Soul to go without shoes or any footwear of any kind. Strong Soul had grown up feeling the touch of the ground beneath her paws and she hated the way that the human footwear cut her off from that sensation. She felt unstable and ungainly with the footwear on, and she knew that her Guardian felt the same. The way that Wind Blade moved was grace incarnate, even when she was simply walking, and the alert posture and the green eyes never seemed to stop moving, scanning every door, every junction, and every overhead access panel, constantly on the alert, the attention vibrating down the link like so much static.

"You and the others have swept this ship more times than I can count, Wind Blade," Strong Soul said, a smile beginning to form on her lips. "I think if you were going to find something dangerous, you would have by now."

"You lived in a peaceful place, Keeper," Wind Blade replied. "You don't know the many ways that humans can be sneaky."

"Oh, I know, Wind Blade," she said. She didn't argue any further, because she knew that it was pointless. Stargazer had been the one to train her and there would be no rest for her or relaxation while Strong Soul was in her charge. It was a comforting feeling, though, even though it was a bit disconcerting and tended to lead to a headache if she was around the Guardian for too long. She was starting to get used to it, though.

After a thick silence for a few steps down the corridor, Wind Blade finally spoke. "Were you happy, Keeper?" she asked.

"Was I happy?" Strong Soul asked in return. "What do you mean?"

"Before you awakened. You speak of the others on your homeworld with fondness, even the humans. I have never known another Mrr'tani besides you and your companions to speak of their pasts so fondly."

Strong Soul considered the question as they walked, letting the silence stretch on, until finally she answered, nearly sure of her answer, but not quite.

"I was content," she said finally. "I would say that I was happy, but I don't know that I've ever really known happiness. I knew my place, and it was defined. I was in a place of prestige and I had the ear of the Master. I was privileged, and that made me content."

"But not happy? There is such love when you speak of your Master. No Mrr'tani loves their master."

"You must understand, Wind Blade, that my Master had no children. He will never have children, it is something that happened with the planet before the domes were fully sealed. Many of the first settlers on Silverwell passed on genetic problems to their children and through the generations, many of the lines died out. Marcus' is one of the last, and it has finally reached its end."

She stopped in the hallway and slid carefully out of the way of any that would be coming behind them, looking at Wind Blade as she took up position just across from her, eyes still scanning the corridor, but it was clear that she was also paying close attention to Strong Soul's story.

"Marcus couldn't have children, and I was brought to him as a small kit. He raised me, even more than Lyria, the gamekeeper I was given to when I was delivered. I do not see him as a Master. He is my Father, and he will always remain so. There are humans that are not like the others, Wind Dancer, surely you know this. You've spent so much time with Bridge Walker that I was afraid he'd taken a second mate."

Wind Blade finally smiled and shook her head. "I simply wish to understand them, Keeper. All I've known of humans has been evil and pain. I've never known a kind human, and that they exist is wondrous, but also frightening."

"Frightening?" Strong Soul asked, canting her head to the side. She wouldn't have thought that anything would frighten the agile warrior facing her.

"If the humans are as varied as us, and there are those who protect the Mrr'tani they can, and there are still others with our gifts, then I have been hating those who did not deserve it."

"You did what you know, Wind Blade, and nothing more. The humans you knew set their image firmly in your mind, and there were none around to change it. The question that matters is this: What are you going to do now that you know there are humans such as Bridge Walker?"

"That is a question I have asked myself many times since I began to speak with Bridge Walker. It is as if a part of my life is turned upside down, that something I knew was true turned out to be nothing of the sort. What does that leave? What does that mean to the rest of my life? Can I continue to be your Guardian knowing that it may cause me to kill innocent humans who are merely doing what they are told?"

"There will always be people caught in the crossfire of any war, Wind Blade. We simply have to do our best not to harm those who don't deserve it. It has always been my goal to make sure that we are not the monsters that the Humans have called us. I don't want to feed into their propaganda if I can help it. Sometimes, though, violence and death can't be helped. It's something Night Star has been trying to teach me for a while now, and I suspect that you're going to take it about as well as I have."

"It isn't an easy thing to take. It's easy to go into battle knowing that you are right and just, and that your enemy is evil and wrong. It is easy to go to fight against something so vile. But now, when I look at the humans on the ship, the way that they look at us as equals, and some even as brothers and sisters, I can't help but wonder how many of those we killed would have been as these had we given them the chance."

"We'll never know, Wind Blade. But what we can do is try to give as many the chance as we possibly can."

"I don't know how you bear the burden of what you do, Keeper," Wind Blade finally said as Strong Soul started down the corridor once again, heading for her quarters. "If it were me, the weight of it would drive me mad."

"Don't think I'm some kind of saint, Wind Blade," Strong Soul chided, "it isn't just me that's bearing it. The links help more than I ever knew. The connections with all the Mrr'tani, they let me feel joy when I need it and they let me spread the sorrow when it is too much for only me to take. My strength lies in the strength of the Mrr'tani, not merely myself."

"There are those who say you are a goddess. You are the Mother of Mothers."

Strong Soul scoffed and then turned towards the door, palming it open to the darkness of her quarters. Night Star was with Francisco in the medical bay teaching him the way of the voids, and wouldn't be back for some time, so she had the room to herself.

"Come inside," she said simply, beckoning her Guardian to follow her through the door.

"I'm not a goddess," she continued once Wind Blade was inside. "I'm as mortal as anyone. I live, I breathe, and I can die just like any other being. The only reason that it's me here in this place instead of you is the randomness of life."

"What of the children? Will you bear the next line of Mothers?"

"No," Strong Soul answered, taking a seat and gesturing for Wind Blade to take the other. "No, there are no lines of Mothers, Wind Blade. I forget sometimes how much the humans kept from the Mrr'tani and how fortunate I was to have access to my Father's library. I sometimes wondered why it was that the other Mrr'tani never took advantage of his kindness, but now I realize that many don't consider the writings in such a place to be as worthy as the work of their hands."

She sighed and leaned her head back in the chair, folding her hands on her chest. "No Frr'a'narr'ah will ever bear children, Wind Blade. That is the price of the gifts. The humans have determined that any mother they were able to examine, without fail, was sterile."

"But the legends-" Wind Blade began.

"The legends aren't true," Strong Soul said, interrupting her. "Legends are stories. They are not fact. They're meant to inspire, they're meant to tell a specific version of history. In this case, it's a false version."

"Then you are the last of your line, just as your father."

"Yes, I suppose that's true. But I believe that the great Mother, whatever or whoever she is, meant for something deeper. The Frr'a'narr'ahn cannot bear children, but I believe the great Mother meant for them to be the Mothers of their clans. Their children are their clanmates. And as they are the Mothers of the clans, the whole of the Mrr'tani are my children. My line carries on with them, and with you."

Wind Blade smiled softly across the table at her, ears flattening a little and the embarrassment could be felt clearly in Strong Soul's mind, though it was tinged with something different as well, a hint of pride.

"Then I am a child of the Frr'a'tan'lass'i'ah," she murmured. "I have never known my mother or my father, but I know you. It warms my heart to hear your words."

"Then I'm going to ask you to do as I would do, Wind Blade. If you are my child, then I want you to consider every time before you go into battle that those you are fighting may not be the evil you imagined. They may be like Bridge Walker. Don't lose your resolve, but think hard about the consequences of what you are doing, and if there is a way to provide them the choice we have given to so many other humans, I know you will find it."

"I will make you proud, Keeper of Hearts," Wind Blade replied with a bow of her head while the pride swelled across the link. "If anyone can bring the humans to our side, it is you, and I will be honored to help you do it."

"I know you will, Wind Blade. I felt that about you when Stargazer first introduced you. Now come, there's tea to be had, and Night Star isn't going to be back for some time. I need someone to share with."

"Of course... mother."