That Night in March
#1 of Relationship Stories (SFW)
Hello! This is my first story on SoFurry so, I do hope you enjoy it.
A little bit about the story. This is somewhat of a memoir, but not really (let me explain). Back in March of 2016, I decided I would put my pondering to rest and test what my sexual preference really was. My current boyfriend had told me he was gay and had a crush on me a year prior, so I figured he would be the one to test with. Like I say in the story, I didn't want to seem like a jerk, I did whatever I could to show him I wasn't just trying to use him as a pawn in my own mind games, that I genuinely thought he felt like the most correct person to do this with, and it thankfully worked.
Unfortunately a few days later on March 9th, he had to leave to move back to Arizona. He was originally born there, but moved to PA when he was in 1st grade.
A lot of my subsequent stories and poems will have themes, meanings, and plot developments about us, because I find it hard to vent to the people around me. My friends are great, but I don't want to annoy them with it. My mother doesn't seem to be all that supportive of my decision, and while I'm not all that worried about him, my father doesn't seem to be putting much on the table for me to work with (I've always respected my father, and he's always respected me, so I feel as though I'm obliged to trust his motives are good for withholding his opinion about the situation, and that they are not incriminating to neither my boyfriend or I).
This is where the internet comes in, because writing on here, allows me to vent my frustrations and concerns to real people who will read my stories without connection to my personal life or peers, such that word about my situation can't spread (Mainly for my own mental safety, literally my town has 7 churches and is crawling with conservatives I'm not in the best place for this to be getting out).
So, Thank you, for reading what I write and hearing my voice. So that I can have peace of mind knowing that I've opened up my doors to others, even if I cant see them.
Oh and some last notes. I've changed everyone's names from their real world counterparts for sake of privacy, I've anthropomorphized everyone because this is still a Furry site, and the rows of asterisks (*******) Indicate the beginning and end of a flashback. I'm not 100% sure if that's the proper notation, but that's what my English teacher taught me!
Enjoy the story!
Should I try now? I thought. I ran my hand across the top of my head, trying to flatten the grape purple fur that had been fraying all over since I woke up that morning. God I looked stupid with my fur like that. He sat next to me, quietly watching the YouTube videos I'd brought up on my PlayStation.
I guess it's now or never. I was ready. "What anything to drink?"
"Yeah, Pepsi."
I wasn't ready, not yet. Why can't I just do it?
The sharp blast of cool air from my fridge was a bit jarring.
I don't want to seem like a jerk though. What if it's not me, what if I'm not gay. I ponder. I didn't want to invite intimacy with someone who had a crush on me, only to find out I don't give it back. I gave a quiet sigh.
His name was Harper, and he was the most trustworthy friend I've ever had. He's also extremely responsible. He's been in marching band which that in itself is a lot. I always wanted to ask how much it cost to get him a custom fitted band uniform, there aren't may dragons around here but they made it work and I never asked. All on top of upkeeping extremely good grades. The kind of grades that made professors bat an eye. I was mediocre, just enough to get by.
*******
It was last June.
"Evan! Let's go! You're gonna be late!"
"Coming!"
I was going to a birthday party. A kinda sleepover. I got to stay as long as I wanted, the term being that I didn't spend the entire night there. Understandable.
It was for my girlfriend Kelsey. We'd been dating for about a month. She was cute, not stellar, but cute. Her white husky fur was probably the softest thing I've felt in years, the grey streaks down her back and over her ears were what bumped her from kinda cute to pretty cute, and it matched her more emo looking attire too. Black Ts, jeans, and gauges. Those things were huge. We've known each other since we were in kindergarten, it felt weird to be in a relationship with someone I'd known that long.
I got there and the party started. We aren't the heaviest of partiers. The most exciting thing we did all night was toy around with Kiva. Earlier that week, I had to get a new phone, and nobody knew my number yet, so I decided to send her stalky texts and deny everything. I ended up getting hit with a little kid's play dump truck when it was revealed, but I was still laughing.
Her actual name is Kora, but while I was working over the summer, I saw her distinct fox ears and tried to call her over to talk when, instead of yelling 'Kora', I shouted "Kiva" and the name just stuck.
Eventually someone decided it'd be a good idea to play truth or dare on the deck, and I was struck with the question, "Who do you have a crush on?"
Naturally I shot Kelsey a look and said her, but then I playfully directed the question at Harper.
"Well, You." He blushed.
*******
We were some group of misfits. A gay dragon, a sexually confused wolf, an emo husky, and a farmgirl fox. And it was all dwindling away.
We lived in Pennsylvania for the longest time. But this year, half of us were leaving. Kiva's dad found a job in Maryland and was set to move after school let out this year, Harper was moving back to Arizona because his homophobic mom couldn't take PA's drastic summer vs winter temperature changes.
He was due to leave in two days.
Better to know for sure than spend another year guessing.
Here goes nothing.
The cap on the bottle hissed at me. I poured us Pepsi, carried out the two identical glass cups and set them both on the coffee table. I sat back down, and I laid my hand to my right. Next to him, fingers spread. Now I was ready.
I figured this gesture was subtle enough. I didn't want to pressure him into anything. I somehow kept still, but I was terrified. What would I find? Who would find out? Was anyone watching? I started to shake at the thoughts My parents were only upstairs, they could sneak down and see us at any ti-
I felt a set of fingers slip between mine, and for once in a few months, my mind fell silent. I could feel my heart trying to punch its way from my chest. I felt fluffy minded, like nothing else in the world mattered.
Every day for the past two months, I go to track practice after school, rehearse a production of A Night On Broadway, and come home with no more than half an hour for homework, and no time for myself. It was excruciatingly uncomfortable, I fell behind on homework. I had three weeks of it overdue, and I just didn't have the willpower to sit down and do it, not after that kind of day. And sexual confusion made me think that I might not be able to trust my head.
But in this instant it all disappeared. Grades, People, The production, Track, it was all gone. Nothing but the beat of that drum in my chest.
Eventually we positioned into the corner of the couch. I sunk into a soft spot while he stayed upright and strong. I curled in toward him, embracing his heat.
I didn't want to stop.
We woke up the next morning lying far apart, I was still in the same spot we were cuddling in, so I figured I fell asleep first, then he got up and moved so my parents didnt find us like that. Then he packed up and left my house for the last time.
Two days later, I was allowed to skip school to go to the airport with him. Nobody knew yet. I even spent the night at his house, where we cuddled again. Just like two nights ago except in his bed rather than my couch.
The ride to the airport was silent, he watched a movie while I sat and thought about what was happening. It didn't dawn on me how much I'd actually loose until the ride home. But the airport story is for another day.
March 9th. The first night I had to spend without him living down the street anymore, without going to school and seeing his red scales, long tail, green eyes, and flame orange spines anymore.
I was laying in bed when I realized something. In the haze of my confusion, the state of mind where I couldn't be trusted to make a cognitive decision. My heart made one for me.
The one tissue in my body that acts out of spite instead of intent was telling me something.
I love him.