Alone: Chapter 2
Alone Chapter 2: Getting better? Sleeping last night was... different. I didn't feel depressed or suicidal, I felt... safe. Like nothing was going to get me or all my problems going away. "Good morning," Payton greeted. "Mornin'." I replied tiredly. He was wide awake and a little energetic. "What time is it?" I asked. "Like, 1:00pm." he answered. "Oh, i've must have sleep in," I said trying to wake myself up. "I saved you breakfast," he smiled. "Oh... I... don't really eat, breakfast." i said shyly. "Oh, not a morning person?" he asked. "Well, I kinda don't eat anything except lunch and snacks, if I feel like it." I replied. Oh, is all he had to say. I felt ashamed, but I couldn't eat, something wouldn't let me. That something is depression. I didn't want to come down for lunch, but Payton made me or should I say, helped me. He was kind and polite about it but that still didn't make me want to eat though. I forced myself to eat, for him... I guess. "So, can you play your violin for me?" he asked. "Oh, yeah, I forgot, sorry." I said. "It's ok," he smiled. I was embarrassed, but I still played anyway. Before him, it was the only thing to help me cope with my depression. He complimented me and said I was amazing. I keep on asking myself if he really meant it or it was pity compliments. I wonder, but never asked him about it, that would be rude. It was now 6:00pm and I was listening to music in my room. Payton came in and sat on my bed. I quickly sat up, startled. "Oh, it's only you," I said in relief. "Sorry, did I scare you?" he asked. "Yeah, just a little though." I replied. He apologized again and asked me if I had a car. I was embarrassed, but told him my car was the old, broke down Ford Focus. It was horrible, the bumbers were missing, the car barley started, and to add to insult the car was a ugly green color. He chuckled a little and said oh. "Not to offend you, but do you ever go anywhere?" he asked. "No, not really, it's hard to go anywhere when you're always being stared at." I replied. "Oh, well i'm sorry about that," he said. I was silent and wanted to cry, but I managed. "Do you mind if I watch t.v.?" he asked. "Go ahead."
That's what he did for the rest of the day. All I did was listening to music and looking very depressed. It must have, because he asked if I was alright. I replied with 'that's just how I look' excuse. He said 'Ok' but I knew he didn't believe me, I wish he did. It was 2 in the morning now and we were fast asleep on the bed. "NO ONE, AND I MEAN NO ONE WILL EVER LOVE YOU!!!" Crystal shouted to me. "GO BACK TO WHERE EVER YOU CAME FROM!!!" my mother screamed. "YOU KILLED OUR DAD!!!" Nathan loudly cried. "JUST GO KILL YOURSELF, IT'LL BE BETTER THAT WAY!!!" Payton yelled. I woke, scared and frightened. I was crying softly. "What's wrong?"Payton quickly asked. "Nothing, just a nightmare." I said out of breath. He said 'Ok' and tried to comfort me, after that we both fell back to sleep. That morning, I felt like I owed him the world for whats he have been doing. I don't even think he realized it. "I'm going to my garage!" I yelled as I walked out the door. "No one fucking cares!" Nathan shouted from up the stairs. I sighed as I walked to my ugly, green Focus. I put the key into the ignition, but it wouldn't start. "How convenient," I thought as I tried starting it again. After about three more tries, it finally start and on my way to my garage I went. Payton came back to the house an hour later. He went to my room looking for me. "Steven's not home right now." Crystal informed Payton. "Oh, where is he?" he asked. "I don't know, most likely at his garage, why do you want to know anyways?" Crystal questioned. "He has a garage?" Payton asked trying to change the topic quickly. "You like him!" Crystal shouted. "That's so cute, I ship it." He blushed. "Fine, I have a crush on him, bu-," "I knew it," Crystal quickly interrupted. "but he has been quite depressed lately." he quickly responded. "He's always like that, and if you want to know when he's going to be back, not until tomorrow." Crystal told him. "Why?" Payton asked. "He's trying to build himself a new car, he's an automotive engineer anyway so I think he can do it." Crystal explained. "Ok." Payton sighed. That day went by quick for me, but slowly for him.