FSE

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I flicked my thumb up and down on my phone, staring fixedly at the screen. I flicked my ears, idly listening to the back and forth chatter of my mom and dad as we drove along the tree-lined road to lake Kanopolis. But my thoughts were completely fixed on the app I had just worked up the courage to download. Dozens of faces displayed in small boxes whizzed past as I tapped the screen, keeping the phone carefully pointed away like a poker hand so that only I would be sure to see it. Several popped out at me - a beefy bear, a few stallions like me, a handsome wolf or two. Muscular chests... smiles... God I'd never felt more unsure of myself.

A hand patted my knee out of nowhere and I violently jumped, locking my phone and looking up. It was my mom, turned around in her seat and smiling at me.

"You ready to have some fun, Marcus?"

"Um - yeah... yeah," I managed.

"So, who all's gonna be here again?" Dad asked, dutifully watching the winding road ahead as he drove.

"Well, your sister couldn't come," said mom, turning back around and leaving me be for a moment. "So it's just your brother's family and your parents."

"Did you hear about Colin?"

"That he's gay?"

I perked up my ears, watching the back of their heads.

"Yep," said dad, nodding.

Mom sighed, shaking her head.

"That's too bad. Such a good kid."

I swallowed.

We got to our campsite a few minutes later and Marcus hopped out of the SUV, squinting his eyes as the bright afternoon sun assaulted them. Feeling almost relieved, I tossed my phone into the back and shut the door behind me with a clunk. Mom and dad followed suit, slamming their doors and stretching their backs in unison.

It was the weekend in June, and that meant that the lake was overflowing with speedboats and jet skis zooming around and churning up the dark blue water. Forests bordered the lake, enclosing it in a wall of green on the opposite shore. They had parked in a rough grey asphalt parking lot just off a cove. A large picnic shelter stood off to one side under a grove of trees, a collection of tables huddled underneath it. Two more cars were parked in the parking lot with us, and as I wearily looked down at the beach I saw that the rest of the extended family had already beaten us here.

"Hi!"

"Helen! Hi!" My aunt called out, standing up from her lawn chair as we approached the beach. All the rest of our all-equine family looked up from their beach activities and chorused their enthusiastic greetings - My younger cousins, Ashley and Drake, were building a sand castle, and my Grandparents were walking along the beach together, ostensibly looking for shells - All I could see of Colin, the only cousin older than me, was his head bobbing out in the water. Uncle Dave was nowhere to be seen. I merely waved at them - my mind was on more important things than sand and sun and lake.

"Here comes Colin," Mom muttered to me, almost like a warning.

"Yeah?" I muttered back, almost wishing I could call her out on it. Colin, who was a very muscular and tall palomino stallion who had graduated from college two years ago, strode towards us out of the lake, his blonde fur and white mane plastered to his body and dripping as he emerged, his red and white swimming trunks clutching at his thighs and his sheath and balls-

What the fuck?

I shook my head for a second. He's my cousin. He's a guy. Stop it. Not normal.

"How's it going, guys?" He asked, stopping a respectable distance from us so that he didn't drip on us, water still trailing from his limbs and tail and drawing lines in the sand.

"Hi, Colin," said mom, putting on a smile and addressing him with too much politeness.

"Hey Colin, what's up?" Dad asked - much more naturally thank God.

"Not much. How you guys been?" He asked, turning to me at the last bit. I shrugged.

"Fine," I replied.

"Little bro!" Came a call from the water. We all turned to see Uncle Dave pulling up to the beach in a red and white speedboat, the engine thrumming rhythmically, a pair of brightly colored tubes stacked on the back deck. "Thought you were gonna help me launch the boat! Doing it by myself isn't easy!"

"Sorry Dave, we just got here," Dad called back.

"No worries. So, who's ready to go tubing!" Dave asked, clapping his hands together.

"Me! Me!" Ashley and Drake screamed, storming towards the water.

"Hey! Don't forget your life jackets!" My aunt yelled.

"You wanna go tubing? Looks fun!" Mom asked, nudging me.

"Um... no thanks," I mumbled. "I'll just hang here."

"Same here," Colin volunteered, shrugging. "More fun for them, anyway."

Everyone waved goodbye as Dave, who was joined by Dad and Ashley and Drake, revved the engines and peeled away, sending a battery of waves crashing onto the shore. I smiled briefly at that, pretty sure that that was a little bit illegal, then set off along the edge of the water, heading away from the group along the cove as mom sat down next to her sister and started catching up.

I walked for a while, my head down, squinting a little bit as the sun glittered on the tiny waves that lapped the pebble-strewn shoreline. I didn't like being around people - especially my extended family, and especially when I was dealing with a problem that I couldn't tell any of them about. Not because I couldn't find the words, no; because they would all freak out if they knew what I was struggling with.

Sexuality. Damn it, sexuality. Why'd it have to be such a sensitive topic?

Eventually I sat down. I was at the edge of the cove, where the shoreline curved back around a corner and out of sight. I hadn't gone that far yet, knowing that my mom would probably come after me if I went out of her line of vision. I looked out at the windswept lake, boats zooming by periodically and churning it up even further, and let the feelings consume me again in the way I never let myself in public; because it showed on my face, and I knew people would notice and maybe ask me what was wrong. They didn't know the half of what was wrong with me, and I don't think they'd ever want to.

"Marcus?"

I glanced to my right. Colin strode towards me, still damp from his previous swim.

"Hi," I replied, turning back to looking at the trees on the opposite shore.

"Your mom sent me to come get you," he continued ruefully.

I chuckled.

"Of course," I said, nodding.

I sensed his frown.

"Hey, um... is everything okay?"

"Fine," I answered quickly.

Neither of us moved for a moment. A gust of wind blew off the water and ruffled our manes.

"Mind if I sit down?" He asked.

I did mind, but I just shrugged. Being rude took too much energy.

He crouched and plopped down next to me with a grunt, resting his forearms on his knees and looking out at the water.

"What was it like?"

"Hm?" He asked.

I froze. Had I just said that out loud?

"Umm..." I managed, eyes wide and trying to come up with something. But to my horror the real question fell out of my mouth: "Telling everyone you're gay."

I swallowed, keeping my eyes locked on the water. He shifted next to me.

"It was... hard," he said finally. He glanced at me. "Why?"

"Nothing," I answered quickly.

He looked at me for a long time. I didn't meet his gaze.

"....are you thinking you might be?" He asked quietly.

"I don't know, all right!" I yelled. Then I clamped my mouth shut, realizing too late how well sound carries over water. I looked over at my mom, far away on the beach by our campsite. She and my aunt were both watching me, their conversation paused. I looked down. Colin looked furtively back at his mom, too, then stood up.

"Let's go around the bend, okay?" He said. "More privacy."

My heart thundered in my chest. I stared at him, terrified. He held out his hand to help me up. I stared at it for a long moment, then took it. His bicep rippled as he lifted me to my feet.

Neither of us said a word to each other as we set off further down the beach. We followed the curve of the shoreline, finally cutting around a point where the grass and scrubs jutted out to the shore and hid us from the prying eyes of our nosy mothers.

After a few more steps, Colin paused, bent down, picked up one of the thousands of smooth rocks lining the shore, and skipped it across the water. I didn't imitate him - I wasn't any good at that.

"So, tell me what's going on," he asked, lifting another rock and skipping it.

"How did you know for sure?" I asked, trying to keep my voice even. He frowned, turning to me with a little shrug.

"It's a little complicated. I've never really liked girls that much," he answered. I looked down.

"I just don't know what's wrong with me," I mumbled.

"Why would you think something's wrong?" He asked.

"I.... I don't know what I want."

"Not particularly surprising," said Colin, chuckling and picking up another rock to throw.

"I mean," I began to clarify, "I don't know what I like at all. Girls don't really do it for me, but I don't know if it's 'cause I'm afraid of them. And maybe I only like guys like, as a fetish, but it's not something that I want for my whole life?"

"You're literally afraid of girls?" Colin asked, winding up and throwing another stone. It skipped six times before it disappeared with a splash.

"I..." I lowered my head and kicked a piece of driftwood. "I don't want a girl if they'll all treat me like mom does."

Colin laughed.

"Can't say I disagree with that!"

I looked up at him, grinning.

"Yeah," I agreed.

"Have you ever been with a guy?" He asked, raising an eyebrow. I shook my head.

"No," I admitted. "I just... well, I just downloaded an app on my phone, and guys have messaged me-"

Colin quickly shook his head and I stopped.

"I've been where you are, Marcus," he said quietly. "And don't get me wrong, there are a small percentage of those guys that are really great people. But the majority are either creeps, or are really misrepresenting themselves. Don't let one of them be your first time."

"But what am I supposed to do?" I wondered, desperation coloring my voice as I stared at him imploringly. "I don't even know if I want to be with guys! How can I... play around with someone from school? I don't want to get outed! I mean, what if I don't like guys and then everyone thinks I'm gay - none of the girls would be interested anymore if thought I..."

I swallowed, a tide of emotion rushing up from my chest and threatening to choke me. I looked away, back out to the water, hoping it would go away. But I knew it was showing on my face - I couldn't control that. I could feel Colin watching me.

"What if they weren't from your school?" He murmured. I shook my head, frowning.

"I don't know any gay people outside of school."

"Well... yes you do."

I whipped my head back to him, looking at him askance.

"Who?" I wondered.

"....me?"

My mouth fell open.

"You what?" I asked.

"Look, I'm not wanting it to be a big deal, and I know I'm your cousin, but..." He replied, looking down and shrugging. "But - I don't know. I don't want your first experience with a guy to be like mine. Mine messed me up." He met my eyes again, wide an vulnerable. "I'm not talking about doing anything serious, but... if you'd like to explore with a guy a little bit, well, I'd be willing to help you out."

I stood there, frozen, still staring at him with my mouth agape. Was he serious? Yes he was. Was he crazy? Probably. Was I crazy that, after the initial shock wore off, I was starting to maybe consider it? With my own cousin? Oh yeah. I was nuts.

"It's okay if you don't," Colin said quietly. "I just wanna help."

"Okay." The word escaped my lips in a whisper.

"Really?" He asked, looking surprised.

"Yeah," I answered, not believing my own ears.

"Oh! Okay then. Umm..." He looked around furtively, laughing nervously. "Okay."

He reached down to his still-damp swimming trunks and began to untie them. I stared at his hands, watching him fumble with the knot. Finally the strings came loose, and he unzipped them. The zipper sounded deafening.

Then he shuffed his pants halfway down his legs, and I saw my first set of junk up close.

The skin of his sheath and balls was a deep grey, almost black, standing out proudly against the blonde and white of his fur. Small droplets of water clung to the pert flesh, looking rather tight in the cool wind blowing off of the water. I didn't know what to do - I just stared.

"Whaddaya think?" He asked.

"Uhhh..." Was the only sound that I could make. He chuckled.

"Can I see yours?" He asked quietly.

"Oh. Yeah. Sure," I said, still focused on his sheath and balls. Without looking away from his junk, I fiddled with the tie on my swimsuit and pushed it down too. I immediately felt exposed - it's a very odd feeling to feel the wind on your balls.

"You're... pretty big down there," Colin commented.

"So are you," I replied.

We both stood there for a moment, staring at each other's packages, not getting any closer to each other. My heart pounded a drumroll in my chest. This was so weird.

"Can I touch it?" I asked.

"Yeah," He huffed.

I shuffled forward, holding onto my swimsuit and keeping it from falling down around my ankles, just in case someone came around the corner and I had to pull them up quick. I reached out a shaking hand, and my fingertips touched the base of his sheath. I let out a sigh and pressed my palm to the cool, velvety skin.

I immediately jumped in surprise as I suddenly felt Colin's hand on my balls. It almost tickled, but I shivered and forced myself to relax into the touch. I slid my hand down further, cupping his balls in one hand and hefting them gently, feeling their weight. I felt something stirring in my groin, and then I felt the wind touching something else it normally didn't - my dick was slowly emerging from the confines of my sheath. And to my surprise, I spotted the same thing happening to Colin - folds of black flesh were emerging into the cool air, and before long the head of his penis popped out, flopping to the side, looking almost exactly like mine, only bigger.

"Can I touch yours?" He asked.

"Yeah," I said, reaching for his.

Our fingers clasped around each other's dicks at the same moment. I simultaneously experienced touching my first cock and having mine touched by someone else. Another round of shivers lanced through my loins, almost making my draw back unconsciously. Both of our dicks swelled in each other's grips, growing longer and thicker by the second.

"Hey dude, let's get in the water," said Colin finally. "If someone comes, I don't think these things are gonna fit back in our swimsuits."

Laughing a little bit, I nodded. Reluctantly, we both let go of each others' members and took hold of our trunks around our thighs, walking toward the water, our rapidly hardening dicks bobbing side to side wildly.

The cold water bit at the skin under my fur, but I barely noticed. I couldn't help but keep watching Colin's hard penis as we walked side by side into the lake. When the water reached up to the middle of our thighs we both stopped and sunk down on our knees in unison, so that the water reached up to my neck and to Colin's chest, since he was taller.

I scooted towards him, my boner feeling odd as the currents toyed with it, until I felt it bump against his leg and his own touched my balls. The water was barely transparent enough to see a few inches below the surface, so feeling it without seeing anything was odd. I reached down and sought it out, closing my fingers around his flare just as his fingers found mine.

We knelt there together, not saying a word, only looking into each others' eyes occasionally, and began to stroke each other. The surface of the water chirped around my shoulder as I moved it back and forth, and so did the water around Colin's muscled arms. Pleasure tingled through my dick as his fingers squeezed me and stroked my skin, running his fingers along my length. I did the same to him. Our breathing grew heavier. I upped the pace of my strokes, watching him with a small grin. He got the message and returned the favor.

Together we stifled grunts and groans as we moved together in the water, trying to stay quiet, our breathing and the gentle lapping of the waves and wind the only sounds in the silence. I closed my eyes, the pressure building in my groin. And from the noise Colin was making he was close, too. We hunched together, gripping each other's cocks in iron fists as we pumped together, the water churning, pressing our foreheads into each other's shoulders, our chests heaving and our nostrils flaring.

I went first, a strangled grunt ripping from my throat as the pressure exploded within me and released like a cannon shot, spewing out again and again, my hips convulsing and humping Colin's grip. I pumped even harder on his dick, and soon he let out a guttural yell through his teeth and splashes of warmth flooded against my right thigh in burst after burst as his back muscles flexed.

When I opened my eyes, Colin was looking at me, breathing heavily with lidded eyes and grinning. I smiled back, laughing softly as we both came back down to earth. After a moment, we relaxed our grips on each others' softening dicks, letting them fall away. He moved toward me, and I turned my back to him, leaning against his chest as he wrapped his arms around my torso and pressed his body against me. Our breathing slowed and I closed my eyes. The warmth of his muscular body felt comforting in the coolness of the lake water.

"So," He asked after a long few minutes. "What do you think now?"

I let out a sigh, a small smile curling the corners of my lips. I pressed my backside into his groin, reveling in the feel of his soft junk touching against my balls.

"I think I might like it," I answered.

Almost in reply, I felt Colin's cock slowly swing up between my legs, hardening once more, and pressing expectantly against my scrotum. I grinned and looked over my shoulder at him.

"What now?" I asked slyly. And I raised my tail for him. He definitely felt me do it - I could see it in the momentary shock on his face.

"I can think of a few things," he answered slowly, matching my grin with a dirty one of his own.