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Albus, Jem, Farrah and Damien were sound asleep, having fucked each other to sleep (because you can actually do that or something) when, at noon, they were awakened by the smell of delicious, calorie-tastic mini-pancakes and even more delicious, even more calorie-tastic syrup, as well as honey that Albus may or may not have failed to process the lesson on not drinking straight from the bowl. At least the person who prepared the breakfast was ready for that, having put some in a glass for Albus, the glass having hearts and unicorns on one half of it, and explosions and lasers on the other. Then, the person who made the breakfast went over to wake them up to eat. I'm pretty sure you see where this is going, too. Just hold on, and prepare for the bullshit.

They were woken up by none other than...fucking hell, you're serious. That absolute bitch again. Sigh. Anyways, Wesha tickled their cheeks again and said "I think it's time for the four of you to wake up. Also, it looks like you've made quite the mess here, haven't you? What were you even doing?" Albus, ever so calmly and politely, asked in response "How the fuck does it concern you, Wesha? Also, if we are telling you, at least TRY not to be a judgmental bitch about it again" "I won't. I promise. Now, what was it?" "A quasi-orgy. HEY DAMIEN! If it's just four people, does it count as an orgy!?" Damien's eyes sprang open. "Yes it does, Albus." And then Wesha was a judgmental bitch about it. "Let me guess: you indulged in plenty of reprobate sexual deviance again? Please just enjoy breakfast"

Then they went over to the breakfast table. Albus sat at his seat, and noticed that his mini-pancakes were arranged in the shape of the cross, or at least that seemed to be the intent. "You know, just to spite your slut-shaming ass, I'm just going to say it right now: that is the most phallic-shaped attempt at making the oh-so-holy cross I have ever seen. Also, it's a lowercase T. Even an uppercase T was only made awesome by Boba Fett's helmet." "I'm not sure which was worse: you comparing a symbol of purity with a symbol of perversion, you disrespecting the one true savior, or that dreadful attempt at a pop culture reference" And then DAMIEN slammed Wesha's head on the table. "You're welcome for saving you the trouble, Albus" "Thanks, I'm pretty sure, or something"

Albus noticed the glass filled with honey. "Oh, so you already KNEW I was going to drink it anyways?" "Yes, we did. You just have a habit of doing such things." "At least you know to take my behavior into account, aside from, you know, you being a prejudiced, repressive asswipe" Wesha had the face of insurmountable butthurt upon her visage as she sat down in her seat. She simply started eating her mini-pancakes with a look of contempt for the very concept of life on her face. She then tried to start a prayer, this going about as well as you'd expect it to. "Dear lord, thank you for this delicious breakfast, and the patience to deal with the stubborn non-believers that I suffer at the hands of" Then Albus, not knowing when to just keep his fucking mouth shut, started voicing his completely correct "opinion" on the subject.

"First of all, you should actually thank GORDON FOOD SERVICE, the BEST company to ever make chocolate chips that you're supposed to bake with but that I eat out of the bag for a quick snack. Second of all, you need the patience to deal with people who don't just submit to your heterosexism, slut-shaming, repression, kink-shaming, Transphobia (I'm pretty sure), -" "Because I don't want men in the ladies' room!?" "Maybe actually look at how a trans woman looks before you pretend they're even remotely resemblant of men. Some of them are even models now. In fact, quite a few of them are. Then there's shemales, which are just soooo fucking hot that" "This is what I suffer from." "People actually not letting you spout your fundamentalist bullshit and not hiding who they are in shame to avoid making a living fossil uncomfortable?" He then started using a mocking baby-talk voice.

"Oh, you poor little Bunny. Are people not allowing you to be an intolerant cunt-nugget to everyone different from you in a way your bible could possibly have said isn't okay? It's gonna get better. And that's the thing: one thing that I've learned from getting the fuck out of where I came from is that it does get better. People like you made my childhood a living hell, but now I have the opportunity to finally live my life the way I by all rights should be fucking allowed to. Meanwhile, it seems like you're running out of ways to keep your job, and I don't even know how you were hired in the first place." "I prayed, and also, the pastor of the church I go to, Saint Maximus Culus, was friends back then with the owner of UTI to this day, Quintessa something"

That's when everybody mutually agreed to just take their breakfasts home, and thus they did so, with Albus getting in Jem's car, as they prepared to go mansion shopping in LA.