A New Dive
A silly collab between Vinomath and I
Arnault looked down at his watch and tapped his foot impatiently.
"Come on, come on," he muttered, glancing this way and that. "Where is he?"
"Who're you looking for?"
Arnault glanced up and smiled at the man that had miraculously appeared behind him. He leaned over and smacked him on the shoulder.
"There you are," Arnault said and then feigned a frown that wasn't entirely convincing. He tapped his watch and held it up. "You're late, Victor."
"I'm not late! You told me to be here by 8! By the looks on my phone it's about to be 8!" Victor said, showing the time on his phone to Arnault.
Arnault squinted at the phone. "Yeah, it's 8 over in Cali. What'd you do, set your time wrong on purpose?" He sighed. "We were supposed to be the first ones in, you know."
"I don't know why it's set wrong!" Victor said, raising his arms. "And so what if we're not the first ones? At least we're going to be here on the opening night!" He shrugged. "Saves us the time of waiting to have the bottles opened up."
"I don't think it takes them an hour to open bottles."
"You don't know that! Maybe they have a bunch of bottles! If it's poppin' in there then they'll have to open them all tonight!"
Arnault stared at Victor incredulously.
"You know what," he said. "Whatever. You're here and I waited an hour for you, but you're here, I'm here, we're here. Let's go in and have some fun."
Arnault nodded towards the entrance. Both men stared at the establishment, a squat building with dark windows, thin twin doors, and a large sign at the top that proclaimed in bright, stylized neon letters "A New Dive." Under the letters was a glowing electric caricature of some sort of diver that wore a mask but his flippers seemed to be his feet.
"Looks fun, huh?" Arnault asked, nudging Victor.
"An interesting theme I'll give it now. Kind of symbolism, like we're drowning our sorrows away." he paused for a moment. "But that's pretty ridiculous the owner probably just likes scuba diving." Victor added in with a chuckle. "Theme or not if they have good drinks and atmosphere I'm all about it. Let's get going then, eh?"
"After you."
Victor nodded and stepped towards the bar with Arnault following closely behind. When they reached the entrance, the doors swung open before either of them could think to pull the handles. A trio of figures staggered out, laughing, squeaking, and snorting. Arnault blinked and turned towards Victor, one eyebrow raised. As an afterthought, he caught an open door before it closed.
"Was that a, uh, pig, orca and a--?"
"It did look like that..." Victor turned to him. "Maybe we're already drunk if we're seeing things like that, or there's some convention in town. Or maybe some mascots wanted to get wasted which if I had to stand in a costume for hours I wouldn't blame them."
"Or maybe it was..." Arnault paused. "Mythic magic!"
"Yeah, surely. You and I both know it's mascots getting hammered to forget the fact their mascots. Or maybe the gimmick of the bar is animal costumes only."
"I thought the gimmick was diving, eh?"
"It's still a better theory than mythic magic." Victor laughed. "Things can have two themes!"
"Let's agree to disagree. No one would drink in those hot suits! But--" He took a deep breath. "Why are we arguing when there's drinks only a few feet away again?"
"Good point." Victor laughed. "I'm ready to get wasted, I deserve a fun night after the work I put in this week!" Victor held the door open for Arnault to enter. "After you." he said with a small bow.
"I deserve a drink just for having to put up with you," Arnault muttered. "And your lateness."
Despite his apparent grumpiness, Arnault still smiled once he stepped within the bar. It was fairly dark, the interior only barely illuminated by a few neon lights here and there and a bubbling lighted aquarium at the far end that sat next to a jukebox. Although there were other patron in the place, they were mostly scattered about. The bar itself was empty.
"Perfect," Arnault said, heading straight there.
"Doesn't seem safe to have a big tub of water next to an electronic." Victor commented before shaking his head and joining Arnault at the bar. "Seems pretty basic for a bar so far. Hopefully the drinks aren't. Where is the bartender? Hello?"
The words trailed off into silence as an odd sight greeted the two. What appeared like a tall humanoid angler fish stood opposite them, wearing a striped long sleeved shirt and a black apron. The fish even had a light that dangled from its cranium, the green glow it emitted oddly comforting. It leaned forward and placed both hands on the counter, the action leading both men to see that it was a her thanks to the nice view they got of her chest and that she had slippery hands whose digits terminated in claws that glowed the same green as her light.
"Howdy, boys!" she said, grinning with a smile that showed off her numerous, sharp, and differently sized pointed teeth. "Welcome to the Dive! What will it be tonight?"
Arnault blinked a few times before rubbing at his tired eyes. He blinked once more and the angler fish woman was still there, the same smile plastered across her fishy face. He smiled back weakly.
"Uh..." He tugged Victor's shoulder. "Victor?"
"Let me handle things, alright? Leave it to the expert." Victor said to Arnault before turning his attention to the angler fish girl, and took a deep breath. "You're a fish woman."
"Ya huh," she said, nodding. She held out a hand. "Call me Kemp."
"Alright, Kemp." Victor said, shaking her hand and shivering at its texture. "I'm Victor and this is my colleague Arnault and wow that's a really sticky hand." He cut himself off mid-sentence.
Arnault smiled graciously and held out his hand. "It can't be that--" He shivered at Kemp's touch. "Ok, yeah, that was slimy." He suppressed another shiver. "Oh, I'm Arnault." He leaned over to Victor and whispered: "That's not a costume."
"We don't know that fully yet, it could just be a really detailed one. I'll get to the bottom of this." Victor whispered back before turning his attention back to Kemp. "So uh...Kemp...why exactly are you a fish lady person?"
Kemp chortled. "It's who I am! Now, do you want a drink or are you going to keep on asking silly questions?"
"Can I do both?"
"Sure. Watcha havin'?" She stared deep into Victor's eyes and chuckled again. "You know what, I have just the thing for you. First time you boys have been here, am I right?"
"Well it just opened up tonight didn't it? I don't know how we could of been here earlier."
Kemp nodded and ducked under the bar. There was the clink of bottles and then the angler woman peeked up and stared at Arnault in much the same as she did with Victor. She nodded again and returned to her position, out of sight but not out of mind. A few moments later, she reappeared, standing and smiling with two different large bottles in her hands. She handed one to Victor and the other to Arnault. They took their bottles. Arnault squinted as he looked at his. He held it up to Victor.
"Look at this," he said, pointing to the label, which depicted a smiling, squealing dolphin. "Cetacean Cider?"
"Mead Mink." Victor read his own, a happy looking mink giving a thumbs up with one hand a glass filled with the drink in the other. He looked at Arnault's as well. "Cute logos I'll give them that." he commented setting the bottle back on the bar.
"Uh..."
Kemp grabbed both of the bottles back and disappeared behind the bar again. When she returned she had two mugs. She popped both bottles and poured a healthy amount into each before handing them to their respective owners. Victor took his willingly while Arnault was not quite so sure.
"Er," Arnault said, looking down into his drink that bubbled like seafoam. "I, uh--"
"Give it a drink!" Kemp said. "You'll love it, I promise."
"Come on Arnny you were the one saying how much you wanted a drink. It's just bubbly it's alcohol it's all bubbly." he sat patting Arnault's back. "And I've never had mead, but I always dig a honey taste so it'll probably be good. If it makes you feel better I'll drink at the same time as you."
"Fine, fine," Arnault said, picking up his mug. He looked into its bubbling depths and took a sniff. He wrinkled his nose. "Smells like salt and seaweed!"
"Most alcohol doesn't smell good either." Victor shrugged. "It's the drunk part that makes drinking fun! Come on, cheers." he said holding up his mug for Arnault to "clink."
"Most alcohol smells like bread but whatever..." Arnault muttered. With a sigh, he touched his mug to Victor's and took a drink. His eyes widened and soon after he took another swig.
Victor smiled and hit Arnault on the back happily. "There he is!" he said while he took a drink of his own beverage. "Woo! That's strong!" Victor exclaimed quickly taking in another gulp.
"That's the stuff," Arnault said before taking another swig. He nodded towards Kemp and smiled. He raised his mug towards her. "This is good...really!"
"Glad you like it, hun," Kemp said with a wink. She pushed the bottle towards them. "Like I said, this is on the house! Enjoy, boys, but enjoy responsibly!"
"Why is it on the house anyways? Not complaining, apparently I love mead!" Victor said happily taking another gulp, starting to scratch at his arm. "Feels like a got bit by a bug or something." he said to no one in particular, ignoring it to take in some more mead.
"I ain't complaining neither," Renault said with another drink of his beverage. He quivered and then giggled. "It feels like those bubbles come right back up, not that I mind!"
"Is this imported?" Victor asked, his scratching at his arm now moved to both of them. "Germany? Russia? Never tasted something like this in America before!"
"All the way from Vouslon," Kemp said proudly.
"Vous-wha?" Arnault said, scratching absently at his throat, his skin a little greyer and slicker.
"Where is that in? Sounds a bit European." Victor asked Kemp, the scratching moving to his torso as well as his arms. "Is it hot in here or is it just me?" Victor asked, unaware of the growing brown fur on his body, too dark to see even if he did.
"In Arimiq, of course," Kemp answered.
"Ari-huh?" Arnault mumbled, quivering a bit as the short hair atop his head began to shed, exposing grey, smooth flesh beneath. "Sounds like you're just making this up." Arnault giggled again, ears beginning to diminish somewhat while the grey slickness spread down over the rest of his cranium.
"Is there where the fish lady people come from?" Victor asked chuckling at himself drinking more of the mead while idle scratching various parts of his body. He brushed hair out of the way of his eyes, and felt an odd feeling at his neck, Victor's hair growing down to just past his shoulders. However, Victor simply chalked it up to the mead being so strong.
"Fish lady people!" Arnault chuckled, taking another drink. His skull was now completely smooth, shiny grey, his ears melding into the side of his head while his nose flattened, his lips totally indistinct. He laughed again, and now there was a sort of higher pitch to it.
"Seriously why ARE you a fish lady person?" Victor asked, a giggle escaping his mouth that sounded much higher pitch than it should. Not only that, it felt as if his shoulders were slumped down, unknowing to Victor they had lost their broadness, all while his arms had become slender and sleek with fur.
"Do you think," Arnault said, bumping a slimming shoulder into Victor. He couldn't help giggle again, the greyness of flesh spreading down his neck, his Adam's Apple disappearing in the process. The next words he spoke were higher in pitch: "That they're actually all ladies?"
"What do you mean by that?" Victor asked back with a clearly feminine giggle, paying no attention to it. "All fish people are women?" he giggled in Arnault's face, not noticing his Adam's Apple being almost gone completely. "I think what it is, it's those hologram things they got now." Victor added while his feet became to feel a bit sore, digits melding together until three remained and they were more like paws than feet now.
"Holograms?" Arnault shook his head vigorously, his skull reshaping into a melonlike shape while his jaws pushed forward, clamping together and lengthening into a curved beak that made him look like he was always smiling. Inside his mouth his teeth multiplied so that his longer snout was filled and his tongue lengthened and took on a pinkish hue. He was about to speak and then he realized he could no longer breath. Panicking, he grabbed at his chest with his now slender and smooth grey nailless fingers. He let out a sigh and was breathing again when a small hole opened atop his head. He blinked several times as his eyes grew larger and rounder and mostly green in hue. He gestured towards Kemp with his mug, not noticing as his arms thinned a bit, muscle shedding away in favor of streamlined form. "That's no hologram. Just look at her, how she moves, and those...those..."
"Maybe it's just a reaaaaallllly good hologram." Victor said giggling quietly. "Like android tier." he added talking another swing of his mead, his ears become more "floppy" going death for a moment as they left the side of his head, reforming more near the top of it. Victor put his glass down to catch his breath, his face pushing outward forming itself into a muzzle, his nose becoming smaller and obtained a pinkish brown look to it. Not only that, what seemed like whiskers formed on the sides of his new muzzle.
Not knowing where it came from, Arnault blew water out of his blowhole derisively. He shook his head, beaky mouth opening but no sound coming out. The man snapped it closed and tilted his head, wondering why he could see a grey protrusion at the edge of his vision. He shrugged his slim shoulder and took another drink and found it a bit harder to do than normal. Still, he succeeded and was rewarded with another slurp of his drink. It bubbled deliciously as it slid down his throat and so he shivered. The grey slickness spread down his body, ridding him of hair and leaving his legs long and thin. He squeaked momentarily when his toes melded together so that his feet were slipper shaped but then thought nothing more of it thanks to another swig of his drink.
"Androids aren't holograms," Arnault slurred, clicking happily. "Kemp, you're fine, fine indeed."
Kemp smiled.
"Maybe it's a fancy android hologram hybrid or somethin'. Science has come a far way." Victor said somewhat believing his words as they began becoming more slurred. Victor's whole body felt like it was tingling as his back pushed inward forming into an arch shape. His legs took on shapely tones while his hips started to build more mass growing into childbearing sizes. "Hey Kemp, if you were a hologram you'd tell us right?"
Kemp nodded, her smile widening.
"See!" Arnault reached out and poked the angler fish, clicking when there was substance to the touch. He took a step back, his hips widening with a pop and his thighs thickening slightly. He raised a hand and pointed a dainty finger at Kemp, momentarily faltering when his waist pinched in, musculature of his torso fading away in favor of soft, slick smoothness. His pants hung loosely on his childbearing hips, threatening to fall at too extreme a motion and his shirt seemed a bit oversized now. "She's real! Touch her, feel her!"
Victor idly nods and pokes at Kemp. "Maybe she is real. Where are you from again? Vula-wusit?" he asked her as he took another gulp of the mead, which was nearing the end. Victor felt an odd pressure from behind him, a bushy brown tail starting to grow out from it, finding its way out through the top of his pants, his rear building up more mass and becoming more pronounced. "Or are you like a magician or somethings? How ARE you like a fish lady, got the little light thing and all." he added tapping the orb.
Arnault shrugged and rested both his elbows on the bar. He leaned forward, momentarily wincing as something pressed out of the base of his spine, but he paid it little mind each as it grew out, snaking out from under his shirt while his rump plumped, the fluked appendage lengthening and lengthening until it stopped just short of a couple feet long. It remained slightly above the ground and in doing so did not alert the converting dolphin to its presence.
Suddenly he squeezed his legs together as he felt something below sink inwards like a doomed ship until it was swallowed entirely and then...Renault felt heat rise to her cetacean cranium as a slick slit formed in its place. She felt himself leaning forward a little more when new weight pressed out from her chest until two teardrop shaped mounds filled her shirt, jiggling a bit as she stood up straight and turned to Victor.
"She's just a..." Arnault searched for the words, the pitch of her voice rising with each word. "Fish lady from Vouslon, which is in Arimiq, of course!"
"That does sound like what she said..." Victor pondered out loud before giggling, "killing" his mug. In doing so a pressure formed at his chest, pushing out become ever more soft and sensitive until they formed in a pair of moderately sized breasts. Victor's had scratched idly at his crotch, a burning sensation forming as it tucked in on itself, contorting into a mere slit on the outside and Victor's insides re-arranging signaling Victor was much more of a "her" now. "You aren't lying us are you, Kemp? You're from Volcom in Arminiatopia?" Victor turned her attention to Kemp, slurring all of her words clearly drunk.
"Hey," Arnault said, drinking the last of her cider before tugging at Victor's shirt. "Hey, hey, you got...cl~ck" she giggled, another spout of water released from her blowhole. "You got boobies, Victor!"
"And you got a hole in your head, Arnny! Shooting water everywhere! It'll be a wet T-shirt contest if you keep doing that!" Victor went back to giggle, idly adjusting her tail to a more comfortable position.
"Hole?" Arnault put down her mug and placed both her hands on her head, searching for the spot. When she found it, she squealed and jumped. This caused her to notice her breasts as they bounced. She looked down at her bust and stared before noticing the protrusion ever in her view was her beak. Her beautiful cetacean snout! She giggled and then stopped herself, running her hands down her snout, feeling its slippery smoothness. "I've got them too, Victor, oh my--"
A sudden thought struck Arnault. She blinked and lowered her gaze to her loose pants. There was only smoothness there. She would have reached her hand down there had she not heard something being poured that bubbled and foamed. She looked over to her mug and stared into its reflective depth and saw what she already knew--that she was a cute little dolphin girl and--No! She shook her head. She had been turned into a cute, smooth dolphin girl with a nice--
"Victor," she drawled, taking a swig of the beverage despite herself. "I think its the drink. It gave us...it gave us boobs."
"I guess I can live with that for the taste!" Victor giggled, taking another gulp of the drink after Kemp's generous refill. She looked at herself in the glass, seeing a rather attractive looking mink girl staring back. She held one of her breast with a hand and let it drop and flop around. "Hehe, neat. These things are super fun!" she added giggling. "You should try it!"
"No no, Victor, it's messing with our minds," Arnault said, giggling at the sound of her own cute and bubbly voice. "I mean, I sound so adorable! Ahhh!" she shrieked, clapping her hands to her snout. "I'm so cute, so cute!"
"Keep it down there, girly," Kemp said, snickering. "Don't get too excited."
"You!" Arnault said, pointing a finger at the angler fish woman and shaking the arm, the loose watch quickly jostling off. "You...you..." Arnault seemed less sure of herself with each passing second. "You...you..." She blinked and frowned, withdrawing her arm. Her eyes were fearful as she searched for what she meant to say, they were escaping her, she knew she probably should be mad or confused or something and yet there was nothing but a feeling of growing glee. "You..."
Finally, she had it and now she was actually smiling. She leaned over the counter and hugged Kemp, breasts mashing together in the process. She quickly pulled back and cupped her breasts, jiggling them in her hands and blowing out more water.
"You made me so cute!" she said. "Thank you, thank you!" She giggled again when she pushed up her breasts. "You're right, Victor, they're super fun." Her eyes widened and she turned around. "And I have a tail!" She hugged it.
"Seeeee? I told you!" Victor erupted into a ton of giggles. "Thanks, Kemp! Whatever you put in those drinks," she made a kissing gesture with her fingers, "Just divine! Props to Volcano or wherever they were made it was to die for! And all the extra goodies, namely these," she said holding up her breasts, "Are the icing on the cake!" she continued on giggling.
"No problem, girls," Kemp said. "My choices were good, hmm?"
"Oh yes, cl~ck!" Arnault squeaked. "I was so grumpy before but now I feel like...I feel like..."
Arnault swayed unsteadily on her feet.
"You WERE so grumpy before." Victor said as she started to stand up herself, using the bar as support to make sure she didn't fall over. "And you did, Kemp. Of all the fish lady people I've met," she paused putting a hand on her shoulder and poking her. "You're my favorite."
"I wasn't that grumpy!" Arnault retorted, finding her footing. She took a step forward and almost fell against the bar. Her pants too would have fallen down had she not caught them and pulled them up. "What was in that drink? Usually it takes at least a couple..."
"You totally WERE grumpy, don't pretend you weren't." Victor giggled pointing to Arnault. "I think greatness was er...in that drink, because it's great! Like I'd say as good as pants! This drink is better than pants!" Victor cheered with her arms up, her own pants falling to the ground, her hips not enough to keep them held up. "Whoopsie! Enjoy the view while it lasts everyone!" Victor announced loudly, bending down bringing them back up as far as she could before her tail got in the way.
"I was grumpy because you were late!" Arnault said, folding her arms across her chest, having to rearrange her positioning thanks to her breasts. "But, cl~ck," she giggled, placing her hands on her wide hips. "You're totally right. Pants and drinks are where it's at. Pants and drinks..." she held her head and shook it. "Ugh, cl~ck, I'm so smashed already we got to get out of here, gotta go, leave ya know before...before..."
And so Arnault's pants fell too. She squealed and grabbed at them, returning them to their original precarious position before anyone noticed.
"Oh my gosh," she said. "Clothes, close..."
"We gotta get new pants!" Victor said with drunken concern in her voice. "So they don't keep falling down and people won't see our butts more than they have!" she added, holding up her pants by putting a hand on her hips, gripping the side of her pants as she did so.
"Oh gosh," Arnault said, turning to Kemp. "I'm sorry, fish lady from somewhere, but we gotta go. Thanks for the..." She burped. "Beer, it was good, very good, cl~ck!" She nodded her head. "Yes, good!" She turned to Victor. "We'll w-walk, my place is close and we'll come back in the morning, get our cars, ok?"
"That sounds like the best possible plan anyone ever thought." Victor said back drunkenly. "Thanks for the mead, fish lady person! I like your light! Don't get rid of it!" she said putting her arms around Arnault. "Let's go to the place!" she said as the duo drunkenly staggered out the door of the bar, two human males seeing them giving them the same weird look that Arnault and Victor gave the trio from earlier.
Together the two stumbled back to Arnault's abode. Upon arrival, Victor collapsed onto the couch while Arnault managed to make her way towards her bedroom whereupon she fell upon her bed and quickly drifted into unconsciousness.
Sometime later, Arnault clicked as sun seeped into her nearly closed eyes. She rolled over and then immediately opened her eyes, for something on her chest jiggled with the movement and something else swayed far from her back, an extra appendage she could feel and control. She squealed and sat up, feeling her chest bounce again. She looked down and saw her breasts, her snout on the edge of her vision, and her slippery, smooth grey skin. And down below...she could feel nothing.
The cetacean blinked and stood, stumbling out of her bedroom and into her living room. There Victor sat on her couch, a mink lady casually munching on cereal while watching some morning cartoon.
"Victor," she said, shuddering at how high-pitched and cutesy her voice sounded. "I'm a girl, dolphin girl."
"Yeaaaaah." Victor said yawning as he did. "I'm a mink woman, went through the motions earlier. Freaked out, deep breath, got hungry and now I'm eating cereal. You know generic brands really aren't that different from name brands. Why doesn't everyone get them?"
"I'm a dolphin girl," Arnault muttered, looking down at herself. "I'm a--"
"You sound like a broken record, I'm aware of what you are." Victor said. "Do you want me to say I'm a mink woman again to? Because I'd rather enjoy this generic cereal. Seriously, why is it this good? It shouldn't be!"
Meekly, Arnault sat down next to Victor. She looked over to the mink girl and blushed slightly. Victor was kind of cute and well...so was she herself. Vaguely she remembered what it had felt like right after the change, how cute and energetic she had felt. It had been nice, actually, much better than being grumpy. It would be nicer still to feel that way again.
"Ok," she said. "I'm a dolphin girl and I'm...ok, cl~ck." She nodded with a grin and looked to Victor. "We need to go back." She paused. "I mean for the cars."
"Can I at least finish my cereal?" Victor asked holding up her bowl, which appeared to only be half eaten.
"Sure, take your time. The bar doesn't open till eight..."
"I thought you just wanted to get the cars, we don't really need it to be open to get them. Unless you parked inside somehow and if you did that sounds like a major accident."
"No, no, I-I--cl~ck," Arnault whistled, blushing.
Victor smiled and nodded knowingly, all too certain where they would end up that night.