Lost Love
Short story: Lost Love.
By: Beefy the Bull
A present-day story of tragedy and love.
My love had left me a few things when he passed away, and he had taken care of all the details, mostly all I had to do was cry. I would be ok financially, His pension and retirement account would take good care of that . But that didn't matter to me, my soul mate was gone. His place was paid off, it would shelter me, but again that mattered so little; a house, not a home. His truck was mine too, but I never felt like going any place after He was gone.
It was a while before I received the most important thing he left me.
After more than a month I received a brown cardboard box from the lawyer -addressed in my loves handwriting- to me. I took it in to the bedroom and sat with it on the bed- our bed. Opening it revealed a small metal box of sturdy construction, about fifteen inches long by six inches wide and deep. Made of brushed stainless steel, it was simple and solid looking and other than a four wheeled combination lock on the front- it was un-adorned. An envelope was taped to the top, written in my loves handwriting, was my name. Pulling it off the box and opening it, I tearfully read the short letter:
Dear love,
I made this for you, knowing you would be lonely when I passed. The combination is one of your pet names for me. I love you forever-
Your dearest love, Karnaas
P.S:
Look on a telephone if you don't know the numbers!
He was always so thoughtful- even at the end of his life, he knew I would get frustrated or be confused and unable to figure out something so simple. I loved him for that. Putting the note aside and taking up the box, I thought what the code would be. Only four digits. There were only a few pet names I had for him that were four digits. Spinning the small silver wheels until a soft click, and I had to smile through my tears, thinking of him like this. Opening the box slowly, until the lid rested on its hinges, holding it up to reveal a picture of my love set into the inside of the lid. The picture filled the hole lid, and was of him laying nude across a velvety blanket, his goldish-tan fur looked so inviting, his tail hanging over his thigh, and propping his head up lazily with one hand. He looked so seductive, so sexy. I had never seen this picture before, he must have made it recently...just for me. I couldn't help but to cry on seeing my love again.
There were several things inside the box , but they were covered with a letter that said "Read first".
Unfolding the letter it read:
Lover, dearest lover,
I am writing to you, knowing the eventuality of my existence is fast approaching, and we will part ways for a while. But do not worry love, I have not left you, I am still here, just not in the way you remember. I know it's hard, but please try to take care of yourself while I'm gone. I got a few things to help you. In the bottom of the box is my diary I kept for the last few years, for when you are lonely or if you need some love. Just read one entry every time you open it, and it should last you a good long while. And don't forget that my love for you is eternal. Do not weep at my grave, but instead go forth and make yourself happy, and make me proud.
Love eternal,
-Karnaas
They were his words, there was no doubt, just the way he would have spoken if he were here now. setting the letter aside and pulling aside the cloth that covered the inside, and looking through the contents, I first took out a Small stuffed animal, a golden tan bull- like my love- I hugged it tight and cried, whispering his name, and wishes. That animal would be my only true confidant for the rest of my life. To him I would whisper my hurts, hopes, fears, and love. After directing my mindset in the right direction I continued. The next item I pulled from the box: a life size bull-hood dildo, that filled most of the box. Attached by a string was a small tag reading:
" Casting of 'Me' -for when you get the other type of 'lonely', or need the other type of 'love'. I told you I would be with you, didn't I?"
He always said witty little things like that, it was indeed a life size casting of my love's bull-hood and balls, in its erect glory, with the two orbs well hung. It was made of something that felt and was colored just like the real thing had been. I held it close for a moment and then set it in my lap. After I wiped the tears from my eyes I composed myself to continue. A tin of some sort of expensive lube, I set it aside, a few Polaroid's of us in bed, and in several 'positions'. I guess he had stashed these away for himself a long time ago. Then I found the diary he told me about in the letter. I wasn't ready to open it yet, so I also set it aside. In the bottom of the box were a few more pictures, more recent that he had taken of himself, for my own 'personal use' I supposed. He was always so smart, thinking ahead of things I never saw or thought to consider, and always he had been so kind as to help lead me along, and provide me with a path. I wished he was here, just to see him, to hear his voice, to touch his body.
Picking up the toy, I just sat looking at it, a perfect copy of him. Holding it warmed it up with my body heat, and it felt so real. I tried closing my eyes and touching my face to it, I almost felt as though he was right there, like I had touched my face to him. It even smelled musky. Giving the bull hood a lick it tasted just like him! Shocked, and direly missing him, I truly wished and thought for a moment that he was standing before me, that it was him I licked.
"L... love..?" I called in to the darkened empty house, wishing, hoping to hear his voice.
But it all blew away when I opened my eyes, and I beheld only a toy in my hands . But it did smell like him, and amazingly it still tasted like him. How? Had he carried it with the real article for a week in his pants? The thought roused something in me that had been dormant for the last few horrible weeks. But it would be unfortunate when the scent wore off I thought. It was then that I realized it was rather slick and oily. And sniffing my hand gave off the same strong musk, a lick of my palm revealed the same wonderful taste.
Putting two and two together I picked up the lube, and examined the small tin. It was a round brushed steel can with a twist on top, and the top had a small engraved bull-figure, my loves name, and a number engraved on it. Reading the label, I saw the price: five hundred dollars. It was clear why, my love had found a company that would make lube that was chemically formulated to smell and taste like sample of choice, in this case my bull. I was tempted to never use it, as not to waste such a precious thing, but further reading on the side showed there was a number for refills. After understanding that, I lubed the toy without hesitation, and licked it some, before sliding it around back leaving a trail of bull smelling oil across my back. Bending carefully, I imagined my loves hands and tried placing my own where he would have put his, it wasn't the same, but I could still imagine him. Slowly I pushed the bull-toy in, groaning it felt just like the last time... after recovering from the thought, I continued pushing deep, and deeper still, until the two orbs touched my rear, just like his would have I thought. I cried out his name in lust and sorrow, I needed to be strong for him, it's what he wanted. Moving it about and stroking myself, I whispered him:
" I'm sorry... I love you..." my thoughts confused me at this moment, sadness and pleasure. I wanted to lay down and sob at my loss, and cry to the heavens, and let the heavy weight on my chest crush me; and I wanted to continue the familiar feeling of being taken by my bull, to for fill my long growing need.
Unable to decide, I lay on my side legs curled in front of me, tears streaming down my face, and gasping from what felt like Him pushing lightly on my rear.
" ...Please..." I whispered, both a beg for sexual release, and the return of my lost love. Unknowingly I, by touching some small button on the bottom of the bull toy, activated a vibrator in its base, and its effects were strong.
" I love you." said the voice, just as I released, both my tears and my seed.
" I love you too." I whispered, unable to hold back the torrent of tears.
When I awoke the next day , I was still nude, and the toy was between my legs picking it up and getting out of the bed, I thought back to last night.
I know didn't 'hear' his voice. I know he's gone. It was probably just my sub-conscious telling me what I needed to hear. But it stands in my mind as Him, as His best and last gift.
Fin.