FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

Part Eleven: Anarchist Cookout

By: ToKu

"I turned in a favor," Fink drawled as he handed me a bag of chips and a brand new pack of cigarettes; reds, full flavor and a green lighter. I could have kissed him if my brain wasn't running a mile a minute, or trying to at least. I followed Skiz's lead and chugged my beer before desperately opening the ciggs; the cellophane proving a near impossible feat. The boar looked at Fink rather apprehensively, as if he wasn't fully comfortable with the blue shepherd being around for the conversation we were about to have. I wasn't even sure if I wanted to be around for it, knowing just how well the thought of my uncle seemed to send my brain whirling. Fink plopped down beside me, and began to tear into his own bag of chips, blissfully unaware that he might be causing cold-paws. "Jason, the gas station attendant over at the Swifty's who dropped out a year after Adrian owed me like fifteen bucks for driving off Chamberlain and his scraggly crew last week. They had been hanging out in front of the gas station all day trying to whore themselves off on any living thing that walked by, it was pretty hilarious. Chamberlain gave me a kiss and a swig of his vodka before they all left so it was a win win situation.

Fink's stories, as monotonic and far fetched as they seemed, never failed to put a grin on my face no matter how anxious or worked up I was. He scooted his butt in the sandy dirt, inching towards me as he began to chomp on his chips. His clothes; vest and shorts, lay discarded by the back door, having shucked them off upon finding us naked beside the palm tree. The cool breeze was beginning to die down but the shade kept us cool from the mid day sun. or perhaps it was past noon already, somewhere around two or three. In the middle of summer it was always hard to tell.

"Honestly," I spoke for the first time in what seemed like an eternity. I was still pretty high despite my little nap; my mind was working in odd hexagonal patterns where I would think about my uncle in a worried panic, then realize I was with friends, that I was naked, then get worried about being naked, then my mind would drift towards sex, only to then think about my uncle again. Fink's presence was steadying my thought process but it was still a chore to get those thoughts straight. "I trust Fink more than anyone else in my life, and whatever you tell me, you can tell fink."

"Tell me what?" Fink asked suddenly confused as if he had missed something. Skiz regarded him warily.

"I think I need another beer." The huge boar grunted, standing, his private parts and belly swaying. Fink just looked at me curiously, I could tell he wasn't worried or concerned. I could tell he understood that he had simply walked into the beginnings of a conversation that he didn't understand, at least not yet. I wanted him to. I regretted not telling him the other day during our country club break in and grand theft golf cart. Speaking or even thinking of my uncle was always a difficult thing, even with my own father who completely understood what I was going through. But I knew that if I was to ever face him, I had to build up my walls, harden my resolve, and strengthen my own bite, so to speak.

Skiz returned with two more beers, seeing as Fink already had his pop cup. I gratefully accepted the can while putting a cigarette to my lips, I handed one to Fink where he simply put it behind his ear for latter. To Skiz, I tossed one despite him ignoring my inquiry earlier. He seemed to snatch it out of the air like a Buddhist monk would a fly. I lit mine; inhaling deep the poisonously tasteful smoke. Skiz crawled forward a bit where I held my lighter up to his snout, his own paws blocking against the breeze. We all three just sat there a moment, drinking, smoking, chomping on chips while we experienced the day's slow trod. I felt the urge to break the silence. My mind told me 'no', my body shivered and I felt a sudden wave of nausea wash over me from the pit of my belly, but I knew it had to be done.

"My uncle was probably my favorite furson when I was eight." I spoke, the nicotine helping with the formulation of my thoughts. "He was more of a father figure to me than my own dad was, and while I enjoyed going to church with my mother, Markel was the one who always took me places that were actually fun and always bought me shit. I'm sure I don't have to tell you about how he showed me things, taught me things, sexual things. It became a monthly thing, a weekly thing. I'd go over to his house, spend the night with him, naked, wrestling, playing, sucking, and eventually fucking. By the time I was nine it was practically a daily thing. He would pick me up from school and I'd have his cum in my fur before we got home. I told myself I liked it, I probably did for a while, but then he started to threaten me, warn me of what would happen if I ever told. He starting telling me, while balls deep, that no one would believe me even if I did. And I believed it. I never told my dad, or my mom, and quite frankly, you two are the first fur's I've ever truly told this too."

"Dallas..." Fink just whispered. I felt his paw on mine. Tears tried to well up in the corners of my eyes but I willed them away. Skiz stared at me gravely, his dark sunken eyes, crusted and rheumy. The cigarette hung in his lips, the ash getting longer and longer before he finally breathed in through the filter, the ash breaking off in the faint breeze and fluttering around him like gray glitter.

"There was a warehouse." Skiz spoke, smoke billowing out from his tusks.

"With cubs and their fathers, uncles, cops and teachers, school boys and juvenile delinquents." I grunted.

"I remember seeing you there." Skiz said flicking his smoldering butt a few feet away. "You don't see many porcupines around here. And I could never forget him."

"I was only eight, I don't remember specifics." I shrugged, taking one last puff.

"I was fourteen," Skiz replied followed by a long chug of his beer. "It was my sixth and final time there."

"Sixth?" I asked feeling utterly sick of the thought.

"It happened every year round the same time." Skiz went on. "The same furs would get together, sometimes with the same kids. We became veterans. But every year there were new cubs, younger, more innocent. They would even make some of the older boys fuck the younger ones and film it. I remember seeing you that last year. I knew you musta have been his son, or nephew or some sort'a distant relations."

"My uncle brought you there?" I asked not surprised in the least. I learned shortly afterwards that I wasn't as special as he had made me out to be, he fucked and shared the other cubs just like I was passed around. I had felt betrayed, abandoned. I gave up on trying, gave up on listening, gave up on everyone but myself.

"He did the first time." Skiz said glancing off towards the school. The distant clang of tetherball chains rattling against the steel posts reverberated out across the school yard beyond the shroud of trees. "The second time I was brought by my probation officer, he was an friend of Markel. He said that if I ever wanted my record expunged that I would have to make all the adults feel good. For three years in a row I took the seed of every male there until I realized it was never going to happen. To this day I still have three counts of vandalism on my record, along with theft, arson, resisting arrest and indecent exposure. All of those charges I acquired before I was even thirteen."

A silence stretched after that. Fink had abandoned his chips and sat beside me, his shoulder against mine, his head hung lower than usual as he stared into his lap. My gazed shifted from Skiz to my own lap, sidelong at fink, then back to Skiz. I felt a disgusting bubble of shame and pity boil up through my middle and into my throat. Far away there was a feral bird call; a quail, calling out for a mate or maybe just to be heard. I felt an odd weight lift off my shoulders having shared my past, minus some of the more gruesome details, but in its place I felt an odd sensation, so unfamiliar that I almost overlooked it as anxious anger. But that rage, that hate for my uncle seemed to burn within me until a fire took hold of me.

"We need to do something!" I stood suddenly, nearly knocking Fink over and actually getting a startled look out of the grizzly boar. The fading breeze seemed to beacon to my new found energy, gusting down from the palm fronds up above, to swirl around my naked body, tickling the fur on my balls and clacking my quills together. "I don't care what it is. I don't want to hide anymore. I don't want to always feel so fucking bad about myself. I wanna run down the streets holding Fink's paw. I wanna drink and smoke but I also want to shout and go against the fucking grain and prove that you don't have to live the same way as everyone else. And fuck Markel, fuck my uncle, fuck him for what he did to me, to us, and who knows who else. But I'm tired of letting him rule over my every waking moment."

"Dallas...!" Fink said hesitantly, regarding me with a new found awe.

"Come on," I said, reaching out for his paw. "I don't care what it is. We can stay here and fuck all day long. Or we can go throw rocks off the top of the old abandoned fashion mall, cause a scene, start a revolution. I always hear about it in the songs we listen to. I wanna do that."

"It's the desert." Skiz grunted suddenly laying back with his paw behind his head, lazily staring up at the cloudless sky. It pissed me off but not enough to go up against the boar head to head, I knew he was capable of some serious damage, but I knew the damage of apathy was worse than that of a physical kind. "Nothing ever goes on here. We were all unfortunate to have been born in this town, least we can do is die in peace, doin' the shit we love."

"Smoking dope and getting fisted by little boys?" I growl, not sure what was coming over me. I had sounded the same way a few days ago, echoing his jaded and disingenuous vibes, but I wanted to turn that cunning, that devious side of me into something to be reckoned with. I felt my heart skip a beat when the boar glared at me sidelong, his whole body tensing up, his low hanging sheath pulsing suddenly.

"Fuck you, you little faggot." Skiz scowled, scratching his balls. "Go gallop with your boytoy and fight your little fairy wars and stage your little coup. But leave me and my own problems out of it."

"Are yo scared to face Markel?" I returned, and almost instantly regretted it. He moved so fast for such a big guy. Like a brown blur he leapt up to his foot-paws and was on me in under a second, grabbing me up under my arms and slamming me up again the palm tree's thick trunk. There was a blinding light as the whole world went white for a moment. My ears rang as my body tensed, braced for further annihilation. Some people say they see stars, all I could see as the white seemed to peal back was a frightful face with two yellowed tusks, blood red eyes and dark brown fur. I thought I heard Fink, thought I heard him say something. A blur moved in the side of my field of vision but I didn't expect rescue, not from something so large and fierce.

For the longest time he just glowered at me; a rage driven spite in his gaze that would have made me piss my pants if I had been wearing any. His body was pressed against mine, almost as if he were leaning on me; his belly against my smaller size, his arms under mine, a new raging boner pressed into my slowly forming sheath. His anger had gotten him hard.

"You think you know me?" He growled, I could see his eyes welling up as if he were about to cry, but the water never breached the crusted lids. "What I've been through, what I go through on a daily basis? I can't even stay in one place for very long. Once I wear out one squat I move on to the other. I have no family, no one wants to hire a felon, no real friends, just pitiful punks like you who wanna smoke my weed and fuck my ass. And I usually fucking let 'em. Cuz it's better than being alone. Fuck for drugs and get fucked to give drugs away. That's my life. It's all I have. All I will ever have. So excuse me for not wanting to get locked up over some juvenile bullshit like looting or fucking in public. That shit's asinine."

"I-I..." I stuttered, not having regained my ability to breathe let alone speak. I heard Fink move beside us.

"Skiz..." Came his monotone voice.

"Hey?" Another called out. A crisper voice, more feminine. KC! "Put him down, what the fuck?"

"Skizzy?" I heard the tiger boy speak for the first time.

The boar's eyes bore into me like drills, cutting and digging deep. Strangely, I wasn't afraid. I wanted everything exposed, I wanted him to know that I've been through some shit too. It's never a pissing mach, who has the worse life than the other. Everyone had their own way of dealing with shit. But I couldn't find the words. There was nothing I could say that would justify either of our lives or the way we lived it and I only hoped he understood. So I did the only thing I knew how or made sense. I kissed him. Not hard or heavy, nor with tongue or saliva, just my lips against his. Our faces were so close together I could hardly see anything but blurred brown fur but his eyes went wide.

He dropped me then, my knees hit the ground hard but thankfully there was enough sand to cushion the fall. My outstretched paws prevented my face from eating dirt but I felt a few quills ripped from my back, as they were lodged in the bark of the palm tree. Trying to regain my bearings I pushed myself up and much to my pleasure Fink was beside me in an instant; a paw across my shoulder and another on my belly to help me to my feet. Skiz I could tell, was truly baffled. Speechless and unsure, he glanced from me to the others. KC stood a few feet away dressed only in an oversized black shirt, her hair hung in gorgeous brown and white curls on one side of her furry face, she looked pissed while she regarded the hulking boar. I truly admired her bravery.

The little tiger boy, naked, ran to Skiz's side and clutched him around the middle. The boar didn't notice him at first but after glaring at Fink and I for a moment he gazed down at the little boy and his features softened almost instantly. The hard lines on his face dissolved into a sad, defeated expression that slowly merged into shame. His cock slowly began to soften but stayed outside his sheath for a long time, my eyes darted down to it from time to time but I was relieved to notice no real sexual thoughts came to mind, my whole demeanor still in overdrive.

"Maybe those things are stupid," I said finally. "But I need to face my uncle one day if I'm ever to be around my family. The thought isn't as appealing as it is to stay here though. Honestly, for the first time in months I feel a sense of security here. Say what you will about other furs but I'm here because I genuinely feel welcome. In a sense that's family. You're right, I don't know you, but I can relate and I can empathize, something Markel could never seem to do. If anything, we're better off than he ever will be."

We all stood there a moment as the warmth of the day seemed to set in around us. I felt hot then, despite my nudity, and hungry, sleep deprived or overslept I couldn't tell, but I knew that if Fink wasn't beside me I would have plopped to the ground right then. KC regarded us all, shaking her head but smiling slightly. The tiger boy had set about rubbing Skiz's belly, and Fink looked into my eyes with a new found admiration that would have filled me with a warmth if I weren't already beginning to sweat a little.

"Babe, I'm hungry." Adrian said appearing in the doorway of the gray cinder block house, wearing only his tattered blue jeans, seemingly oblivious to the altercation that just took place. KC embraced him affectionately, kissing him on the cheek.

"Those chips did nothing for me." Fink admitted to me, patting his belly a few times. I could have sworn I heard a growling erupt from his pit. Fink was always hungry, it was a wonder he wasn't heftier than he was.

"I know a dumpster that's always unlocked behind the Vons." Skiz spoke and everyone turned to stare at him, but without respite. He seemed to shrink down in size, his ever present dominance and size reducing in embarrassment. Somehow I knew he felt in the wrong for overreacting but I also blamed myself for causing it. "T-they usually throw out their expired food around noon. They're might be some day old bread and peanut butter. Joester here doesn't mind hopping in for me."

I was rather baffled by his change in demeanor. I watched as the towering boar regarded his young companion; the tiger cub continued to hug on Skiz while an oversized paw ruffled his head-fur. He spoke softer, and even smiled down at the boy who returned the expression. I felt Fink's tail pat my butt and I couldn't help but grin even as hunger overtook me.

"They usually have a few cans of tuna and a ton of canned vegetables." KC said nodding.

"And stale donuts!?" Fink nearly barked.

"We can have a picnic!" KC cheered, her arms up in he air, revealing her pink laced panties.

"Better yet," Skizz said kicking a bit of sand towards the corner of the house were an obvious fire pit had been dug in the sand; bordered by rocks of varying sizes and shape. I could see the remains of old ashes and half burnt aluminum beer cans. "We can have a cookout."

"I guess we should get dressed..." Fink spoke sadly. Everyone grinned, including myself.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

We ventured out like a gang on a mission, the six of us, as sparsely dressed as possible to combat the mid-day sun beating down upon the black asphalt roads in which we wondered. Somehow, Fink had convinced me go with just my leather vest and the skimpy, stolen, pool shorts; my misfits shirt tucked in the side of the waistband. Fink strolled beside me, his paw in mine, naked from the waist up, his tattered denim shorts covered in rips and tears barely covering his blue-gray fur. KC and Adrian, both more modestly dressed, lead the way, while Joey, whom everyone called Joester, scampered along beside the boar's long heavy strides. I would occasionally glance back at Skiz, still rather rattled by the days events so far. I tried to catch his eye but he was to busy with the young tiger, grinning at him, pulling him close as they walked, ruffling his head-fur, rubbing a shoulder or the small of his back. I couldn't help but smile and wonder in amazement at how their relationship must have started.

The dumpster in question was located behind a very nice grocery store several blocks from the downtown strip. It was a large beige building with red letters and sleek brown tiled trim. Older fur's of various species seemed to ooze in and out of the entrance, bag boys in tow, pushing carts of food that would probably go bad before they could eat it all. Ignoring the bustle of the front we followed KC as she steered us towards the back, her long hair and three XL Black Sabbath shirt seemed to bellow behind her in the hot afternoon breeze. We passed by a few smaller shops further along before rounding the corner of the whole complex and followed the tall walls towards the back, finding ourselves in an empty side parking lot. At the end of the length of building we found a large gate panted a fresh shade of tan with a surrounding wall of the same color, it was open, and the dumpster unlocked.

"They always leave it open to be picked up by the garbage furs around seven." KC said looking at a pink and black watch strapped loosely to her wrist. "Remember, don't grab nothing that can go bad in the heat unless it still feels cold."

Skiz and Joester came up along side the large green dumpster and without a moments hesitation the boar effortlessly lifted the boy up and into the trash followed by a series of giggles from the kid. Fink flashed me a grin before hefting himself over the edge with his upper arm strength alone. He was getting chubbier in the belly these days but he still had quite a bit of strength about him.

The two dug about for a moment, tossing various canned goods and jars of peanut butter over the edge. Adrian walked back to the edge of the building and kept an eye out for any store personnel or lot-cop that might wonder by. Skiz peered over the edge and pointed out potential goods while KC just smiled, occasionally glancing at me with a cute sparkle in her eye. This might not have been the Anarchy I had in mind, but it was the most alive I've felt in practically forever.

"Score!" Fink shouted. And tossed three packages of hot dogs down to me. "They're still cold, must have just been tossed, they don't go bad till tomorrow."

"Nice." KC chirped as I caught the packages in my arms.

"Here, use these." Joester chimed peeping up over the brim of the bin with a wad of plastic bags clutched in his orange paws.

"Hey, I thought they recycled those..." KC frowned.

"Apparently not." I added taking the bags and quickly stuffing the hot dogs within.

Eventually Fink was able to dig up two jars of peanut butter, three loaves of day old bread, a bottle of chipotle ketchup, tortillas, a can of re-fried beans, some cookies, instant coffee for Adrian, a can of raw almonds for KC, a jar of salsa, another package of hot dogs and a box of powdered donuts for himself. Skiz was helping Joester out of the dumpster when Adrian came sprinting back from the corner of the building.

"Security guard!" He breathed heavily.

"Come on." KC gestured with her paw for all of us to follow. Skiz simply held on to the tiger cub like it was his baby and he was it's mama as we skirted around the other side of the dumpster wall and worked our way down an alley that ran along the back of the building. I could see two semi trucks docked further up but before we could reach it KC bolted left and under a hedge of oleanders that bordered the property. Almost immediately we stumbled out into a beautifully tended backyard garden that sprawled out behind a two story blue house.

"Where are we?" Fink mumbled looking around. We all seemed to pause a moment, unsure of our surroundings, except for KC. She walked on ahead, mindfully stepping around the various garden gnomes and little signs that red 'bless this garden'. There were strange trees and plots of vegetables growing everywhere. It was practically a jungle and I was amazed that anything like this could grow in such a desolate desert.

"This is my grandmothers house." KC shrugged glancing back as we all began to slowly follow her, mimicking her caution as to where we put our foot paws. "We can just cut through here. She's not as prudish as it might seem. She's probably the only one in my family who accepts me for who I am."

"And why wouldn't I?" Came a voice from behind a row of tomato plants. We all stopped dead and turned about.

"Grandma!" KC squeaked.

The tall elderly ferret that rounded the row of tomato plants wore a simple gray blouse with loose fitting light blue pants. A wide brimmed hat, typical with backyard gardeners adorned her head, tilted against the punishing rays of the sun. Despite her age, she was very pretty and I could see a lot of KC in her features.

"What sort of circus have you bestowed upon me, dear child?" She asked with a wide smile.

"We were hungry." KC shrugged, meeting her grandmother with a warm hug. The older ferret regarded the bags of dumpster dived food Fink and Adrian now held and she simply shook her head, her smile never faltering. "This is Fink, his boyfriend Dallas, Skizy and Joester; they're like brothers, sorta, and this is Adrian, my boyfriend."

"You could have just stopped by," She spoke, straightening up from the hug to regard her granddaughter better. I could have made you all some sandwiches. It's a pleasure to meet you all. I'm sure you're all keeping KC safe."

"I wouldn't want to trouble you." KC giggled. I felt my face grow red at the mention of my relationship with Fink, especially from a third person. It still felt surreal. I glanced beside me and found Fink looking back with a dumb grin on his muzzle, it was contagious.

"Nonsense." She scolded with parental love.

"Honestly grandma, were just passing through." KC said with a wave of her paw. "We have some plans for a picnic.

"That sounds lovely." The older ferret spoke. "At least let me give you some snacks to take with you."

KC's grandmother disappeared into her house for what seemed to be half a second before she reappeared holding a small brown paper bag, the top folded over with tape. It was a sack of raspberry shortbread cookies she had made herself from scratch. KC's personal favorite. She gave KC another hung then let us on our way with a wave and reminder to keep KC safe. As we leisurely made our way down the streets I couldn't help but watch the young ferret and she smiled and laughed. Through our conversations and chit chat about food, snacks, pants for hanging out the rest of the day and general bullshit I found myself feeling genuinely at home. I didn't feel anxious, I didn't feel scared, I didn't feel on the edge or worried something awful was going to happen. I didn't hate myself because of how I felt or looked in what I wore and Fink's paw entwined in my own solidified the fact that I even felt a little sexy. I realized that must be how KC felt about herself when with Adrian or even around her grandmother. They saw her for who she really was, what she wanted to be. I knew the world had to either put up with me or accept me, but either way, it wasn't going to get rid of me now that I still had a choice.

It took us twice as long to return to Skiz's squat house. Amid idle banter and the extended route, we felt no needed rush to return. It did feel nice however, to strip off our clothes once we finally did. Now that the school was out there was no need for privacy and the large boar went about piling the burnable trash about the sandy back yard within the ring of various rocks, his heavy genitals swinging as he worked. Adrian and Fink went about gathering wood from the varying dead trees about the property, snapping branches over their bare thighs. Joseter stood pissing against the side of the house and when he turned around he was hard, his young erection bouncing as he followed Skiz about.

KC emerged from the back door, raspberry cookie between her lips while she combed her thick flowing hair to the side of her head with both paws. She was naked and even I had just finished stepping out of my beige and green striped shorts, hanging them beside my jacket on a piece of fron bark of the nearby palm tree. I regarded her body, her forming breasts, her thicker waist and stunted sheath above nearly non-existent testicles. She was beautiful and I simply found myself fascinated by her body.

"How long did it take to grow out your hair?" I asked. KC regarded me and smiled. I suddenly felt very aware of my nakedness and struggled to remind myself that there wasn't a single clothed furson here.

"About a year and a half." She replied thoughtfully. "About the time of my twelfth birthday. I remember my dad wanting me to cut it off for months before he finally gave up. He actually took me to the barber shop a few times and tried to force me, but the barbers always said they couldn't cut someones hair who was unwilling to get it cut. I kinda owe them a lot!"

"I started dying my quills when I was 12 too." I spoke with a growing smile with a fresh beer in my paw. "My father didn't care but my mom threw a fit. Eventually she gave up too and continued to pray for me."

"Parents!" KC exclaimed with a deep scoff.

"Actually, my dad's not so bad I guess." I shrugged, feeling a fresh breath of air blow between my legs, brushing my genitals and clacking the quills just above my butt. "He used to run with a couple of punks up in Canada where he's from. He showed me a picture of himself when he was fifteen and he looked a lot like me."

"That's rad!" KC smiled and I nodded in reply. Then suddenly I remembered, the day before, or was it two days before, when I had last seen him, I had told him I would stop by before dinner time. Was it too late? Did I still have some time? I wasn't too far from where I lived, but walking there would take at least thirty minutes. KC must have noticed the change in my expression because her own brow line furrowed and her nose twitched in what could have only been concern. "What's wrong Dallas?"

"I told my father I'd stop by the other day. I haven't been home since Friday." I said, thinking a moment. "I'm not even sure what today is, the last few days have been a bit of a blur."

"It's Monday."

"The show was Saturday," I said and KC nodded. I thought for a second. If Sunday had really happened then that means everything at Ignition with Mr. Feroza, Liam, Alex and Brandon had actually taken place, right? Then why did it all seem like a dream, like a very unlikely dream. 'What decent father would let their twelve year old son get fucked by some punk ass porcupine?' I very suddenly felt disgusting, my fur felt dirty, it probably was, but I knew a good shower wouldn't wash this feeling away. Mr. Furoza was just like my uncle. Was I just like him too? I tried to focus on the now, but that heavy weight seemed to make speaking difficult, I noticed my words formed into lies. "I was supposed to stop by Sunday afternoon. I don't even remember where I was Sunday afternoon. Was Fink and I with you Sunday?"

"In the evening." KC said with a thoughtful look. "Adrian and I ran into Fink while he was at the corner store. Then we met up with you on the way back to Adrian's apartment. You were at Ignition when we stopped for a coffee on the way back. You said you had woken up in an ally, Fink had been a little worried."

I cracked open the beer in my paw and chugged the whole can in an attempt to wash away the disgusting feeling I had bubbling up in my throat. KC looked at me worriedly as her boyfriend and Fink played the pyros, tossing dry twigs on an infant fire. Smoke billowed up from the burning branches and the dying breeze pushed the plume up over the roof and its broken shingles. I couldn't help and think about what TK has said about Fink and Mara being together at the show while I was shitfaced. Maybe it was true, maybe it wasn't. The Zanax I had taken sorta explains why I probably blacked out and lost track of my days, but that was all after I had been fucked by Mr. Feroza and nutted inside Liam's ass. I wanted to puke then.

"You gonna be okay Dallas?" KC asked, I had almost forgotten she was beside me. I watched Fink stand up, his sheath half swollen as he wobbled towards us.

"Hey babes, you look a little queasy, you want another beer?" Fink asked with a lazy grin that would have normally sent my belly fluttering with butterflies but now I felt like a millions spiders were crawling up my esophagus.

"You'll be okay." KC said patting my shoulder with a gentle paw. "I think he just misses his dad."

"I would too if his dad were mine, he's a cutey like Dallas." Fink nodded with an open mouthed smile and KC giggled. I knew I would have too, but the comparison's of my uncle and myself swam through my consciousness, agitating the spiders in my throat. Fink had me wrapped in his furry arms then; enveloping me in a warmth unlike the heat of the setting sun. It was passionate but I was probably undeserving of it.

"Do you remember yesterday?" I asked. Holding onto the middle of his back while his arms hung around my neck, avoiding my quills, I could feel his semi-erection pressing into my belly but it was only a slight distraction.

"Kinda." Fink said. "We did drink a lot of cough syrup. You were fucked up."

"I..." I tried to speak but couldn't quite form what I felt with words.

"You miss your dad?"

"Sorta." I grunt. "I said I'd stop by yesterday afternoon. I'm mostly worried about him."

"Why are you worried, shouldn't he be worried about you?"

"He's been keeping my uncle busy." I shrugged under Fink's weight, though it was a pleasant weight. I think Fink wasn't sure how to respond to that statement, considering he didn't really know the whole story aside from what he learned through my conversation with Skiz. I was surprised when he spoke.

"Your uncle didn't just screw you up either, did he?" Fink's voice then was the closest to normal sounding that I had ever heard before. I heard the compassion, the empathy, the understanding, all beneath the usual monotone of his demeanor.

"No," I replied. "Not the first, and definitely not the last."

There was a long stretch. A silence that seemed to envelope us. I could still hear the others, Joester giggling, The deep voices of Adrian and Skiz, even the sing song voice of KC here and there, but the crackling of the fire seemed louder than all the rest. I felt Fink pull back, his body heat diminishing as he did, but still present as his paws cupped themselves around my face, caressing my cheeks and brushing back the quills behind my ears. Fink's eyes were deep and blue as he searched my dark brown. I knew ESP and telepathy weren't real, but I knew that sometimes thoughts and feeling could be sent from furson to furson simply though their eyes. It seemed to happened then, with the two of us.

"Do you wanna go see your dad?" Fink asked and I blinked a few times, trying to decide. To decide what? If I wanted to see my father? Risk seeing my mother, confronting my uncle, exposing Fink to them all. "I'll go with you."

"As my friend? I asked. Fink grinned slightly and I knew what was coming.

"As your boyfriend, dummy. Or was it 'boy toy'?"

I wanted to cry then, and I almost felt the tears well up in my eyes but Fink wiped them away his a padded thumbs and instantly stopped them.

"Yes, I'd like that." I said, and smiled back.

"You wanna eat something first?" Fink asked rubbing his paw against my belly. I would have slugged him but our noses touched instead.

We cooked the hot dogs over the fire and ate them with the day old bread; they tasted damn good considering they were dumpster food. Fink made several peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and ate his entire pack of stale donuts. KC sat cuddled up with Adrian beside the fire, eating her almonds. Apparently with the hormones she took, she couldn't eat much processed foods but my plain hot dogs were good enough for me.

The sun had begun to set and the sky was a bright orange in the west and a pale pink and blue in the east. Though the breeze had died away, the air was cooler, and when it came time for Fink and I to don some clothes, it no longer felt so oppressive. Fink brought my jacket and smokes from inside and I watched him pull on his cut-off as I worked my legs into my dirty black jeans. I wanted more than anything to stay, to remain naked, among friends, beside Fink. I wanted to feel him close to me again, to fuck me like he had earlier, and probably the night before, and the night before that. I settled with his paw in mine as we waved goodbye to our companions, all huddled around the fire in the dying light; naked and carefree. Mostly.

I knew the plan was to return after I saw my dad, had a shower, stole some money, but I had a strange sinking feeling, but that anxiety could have been from any number of things I was battling with in my mind. I gave Skiz one last nod. He returned it; pulling Joester closer into his lap and against his bare chest. I made a note to ask about the two of them when we got back, how they had met, what brought them together. KC jumped up and grabbed me around the middle, hugging me tightly and whispering in my ear, she smelt like lavender and beer. She told me to give my father a hug for her and to hurry back once all was 'copacetic'. Finally, Fink looked side long at me and I returned his glance with another nod.

"We'll be back after awhile." Fink droned, but not regrettably. I held his paw tighter as we turned and made our way towards the front of the house. "I would say leave the back door open but..."

"Fuck you!" I heard the boar growl followed buy a trio of chuckles.

We walked a bit in silence, both of us staring up over the roofs of the dilapidated houses littered on either side of the road, the setting sun at our backs. The whole neighborhood appeared deserted so I felt more than comfortable holding Fink's paw. I knew somewhere deep down that I shouldn't care either way. What was the worst that would happen. Someone might yell something, call us fags, throw a rock, beat us up. Each unlikelier than the last, but some deep seeded learned-trait kept the fear subtly alive. I knew in comparison to what lie ahead, the opinions of others seemed a slight annoyance. I had true fears and real worries that I was walking head long into. I almost felt guilty for dragging Fink along but I knew he was coming for support and probably wouldn't leave my side even if I asked him to.

"You know," Fink said almost dreamily, his voice seeming far off and nearby all at the same time. He was probably still high. I felt mildly buzzed but the weed we had smoked earlier had worn off a few hours ago, at least for me. "If things get too messy at home, you can always come live with me."

I almost tripped over my own foot-paws.

"My mom would hate it," Finks said with his eyes ahead of him but his muzzle split by a slight smile, his ears twitching slightly. "My dad would probably love you though. My brother is pretty annoying but he's like an eleven year old version of me. They're both almost always as naked as I usualy am. Its truly a wonder how my mom puts up with us all."

It was an awesome thought, not to mention sexy. I couldn't help the sped-up fantasy that played in my mind of an orgy of blue shepherd canines, myself in the middle of it all. I had to ask.

"Your dad never did anything to you when you were younger, did he?"

"What? Like sexually?"

"I'm sorry I asked."

"Don't be." Fink chuckled rather slowly. "I wondered the same thing when I saw you and your dad together the other day."

"Really?" I felt my face grow rather hot. It's not like I had ever thought the same, but my dad, always being the passive aggressive dope he was, never seemed like the one to make the moves on his own son. Not to mention he knew about all the things that happened with Markel and I and never did anything to stop it. I still felt rather pissed about that every time it popped up in my head, but I knew he had gone through the same thing with his older brother.

"Heh, yeah." Fink squeezed my paw a bit. "But to answer your question; no, not really."

"Not really?" I asked unconvincingly.

"Well, like," He spoke, taking a moment to think about his words before he explained. "My dad's always been a free spirited and open guy. He's also a perv, watches a lot of porn, might be bisexual. He never touched me or my brother, or try and do anything sexual with us, but he never hid the things he did either. Sort of blatantly exposed us to all the smutty things of the world. I've probably seen my dad's cock more than anyone else, except for my own I guess and I know I'm the way I am because of him. A huge perv. As for my mom, I guess she's just an apathetic bitch, bless her heart."

"My mom is just the opposite, she cares way too much." I shrugged, pulling my cigarettes out of my jacket's inner pocket and pulling out a loosy with my lips. Fink reached over with his free paw and lit the end with a lighter he pulled from his pocket. We never skipped a beat or broke our strides and our paws remained intertwined. We smiled dumbly at each other for a moment before staring back up at the sky, the first star of the night just visible if you squinted and looked long enough. "She's super Christian, a true disciple of god, so she says."

"Mara's parents were like that too." Fink spoke with the slightest air of disgust breaking through his monotone, enough so that I didn't mind the mention of her name. "She always wanted me clean, never wanted to suck my dick, said I was gross when I said her dad was hot."

"About her." I said, since we were on an honesty streak. "Wasn't she at the show the other night? I can't really remember."

"Yeah..." Fink sighed. "She showed up looking for me, wanting to talk, probably wanted to get back together. She found us making out in the corner, tried to make a huge deal out of it. Mr. Feroza threw her out when she started yelling derogatory insults, then he let you and I use his couch in the back."

"He filmed us, didn't he." I asked glancing down at my knuckles, finding it odd they didn't hurt or have a scrape from punching Brandon's laptop, I could have sworn I felt blood trickle that day. My chest tightened as we neared the end of the street and the topic at hand; the enigma of the previous night.

"Brandon did." Fink nodded, looking sidelong at me. "You really don't remember do you?"

"I didn't drink for almost two weeks before Saturday night..." I said in my defense. Fink chuckled.

"Mr. Feroza is a horny old bastard." Fink shrugged.

"All his sons."

"Lucky fuckers, aren't they."

'So it was true.'

"So given the chance you'd fuck your own dad?" I asked.

"Wouldn't you?" He returned with a raised brow

I didn't even have to think about the question, but I pretended like I had to. Fink simply returned his attention towards the brightening stars and our path before us. We quickly emerged from the ramshackle suburban of the far east side, to the late bustle of downtown. A few cars honked at us as we crossed the two main drags. I told myself it was because we simply walked out into traffic without waiting for a cross walk or a red light but I knew that some of them must have been because of our entwined paws.

"My father knew about everything that happened between my uncle and I." I spoke softly even though the noise of passing of cars likely ate up every word I spoke. I knew only Fink could hear me, but it still felt strange even saying these things aloud. "He had to deal with the same thing when he was younger, I guess, growing up with Markel and all. If I wouldn't end up thinking about my uncle the whole time, yeah, I probably would, I guess."

"I'm sorry you went through all that shit." Fink said. To the untrained ear his voice would have sounded rather unemotional and uncaring, but I knew that wasn't the case. He had a certain way of saying words when they really meant something. A little more inflection, slighter higher pitched. I knew Fink cared a lot and although he probably couldn't relate to being flat-out molested when he was younger, he knew sex and he knew the inner workings of sexuality like I did. At least as much as two fourteen year old boys could.

"I guess it's kind of a good thing he came back into town." I said, my throat almost seizing up as the words left my mouth. It felt horribly disgusting to admit it, but if it wasn't for him, I would have kept on doing the same shit, I wouldn't have realized a few things, wouldn't have been forced to learn and grow. I may had had help from Kasai, TK, Fink, and my own father, but the monster that is my uncle was the catalyst to it all. "I might not have gotten close to you if it wasn't for him."

"I don't think so." Fink responded almost instantly as we came to a halt at a crossing light; the last one before the long stretch down Sunrise Blvd., passed the middle school, and down to my house. "You've actually been on my mind a lot lately. I didn't really know many queers my age, and being with Mara made me realize a lot of things about myself. I heard some rumors about you and remembered that time behind Dunkin Donuts!"

"So you weren't just a fat kid on a mission?"

"Hey, two great things at the price of one!"

"You ate two whole donuts before I could put my dick back in my pants." I nudged him in the ribs without breaking our link. Fink only smiled as he started across the street. The truly amazing thing was how at peace I felt about any rumors that might be floating around about me. I guess I just didn't care anymore. Maybe I was finally okay with other fursons knowing I was a 'queer'.

We continued on, the familiar sidewalk under our foot-paws marking the usual route I would normally take when walking home from school. It was hardly the sixteen miles Fink would normally trek to and from his house on the north side, but it was still a considerable hike. With the blue-shepherd by my side however, it took us no time at all to make the journey past the Gold's Gym and the super market, the McDonalds and the Seven Eleven and to the same neighborhood I had known for most of my life.

"I think he's planning on moving back into his old house next door, my uncle I mean." I spoke as we started down the street that led to the one my house stood. We seemed to be walking in slow motion, our feet moving like the air was molasses but somehow the houses on either side of us kept passing by at the usual pace. I kinda wished I was still high, or more drunk. I was feeling quite sober at that moment and it would have been nice to have a safeguard or some sort of buffer for whatever might happen when I walked in through my front door. Would my mom be there, would Markel? Would my dad be drunk again? I had to remind myself that Markel couldn't make me stay, no matter what he said, nor could my mother. I was finished living under their oppressive controls. Wasn't I? Fink's paw was a reassurance.

"I'm here with you babes." Fink said, his shoulder against mine, his eyes twinkling in the semi-darkness. The street lights were on and although there was still a faint pinkness to the deep blue of the evening, I was already having trouble seeing where I placed my bare foot-paws on the asphalt road.

"I don't know what will happen." I say as we rounded the corner of my street, the pristine and perfectly manicured lawns shrouded in darkness, illuminated only by the two streetlamps at either ends of the road. "If things get too ugly, lets just get our of there. Okay?"

"Okay." Fink assured me.

My uncle's house on the left rose up before us, an even darker shadow seeming to fall over my own just beyond. It stood still pitch, with its faux stone finish and tiled roof, the building was clearly deserted, with the curtains drawn closed,; the 'sold' sign missing from the window and I could just make out a 'welcome' mat laying before the dark oak door. Swallowing hard, I turned away and found my own house; my father's and mother's house; lawn plainly mowed and plainly lit by warm glowing lights. The family room window was illuminated behind pulled curtains but the rest of the house seemed dark.

Slowly we walked up the empty driveway, turning down a path that briefly ran along the garage before ending at the front door, our foot paws coming to rest upon a mat with flowery designs worn with repeated wiping and trampling. Fink stood so close I could feel his heartbeat thundering along with my own, each beating in the opposite rhythm. Our blood coursed through our veins like a violent river, our hearts thumping in our white knuckled grasp of each others paw. I could tell my worry and apprehension was rubbing off on him. It was strange to witness someone of usual cool, nonchalant demeanor tremble slightly beside me. It was also oddly comforting knowing I wasn't alone in my feelings. 'Spoken like a true faggot.'

With a deep breath I grabbed hold of the doorknob and together we entered, closing the door swiftly behind us.