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CHAPTER 3

"So, how was it?" Mettaton asked.

"WOOOOOO!!!" the crowd, which was comprised mainly of testosterone-loaded teenage boys, cheered in honor of the amazingly disturbing scene that they had just witnessed.

"Good to hear, folks! More where THAT one came from...coming right up!" Mettaton cheered as Episode 2 began.

EPISODE 2: SVEN NAPSTABLOOK

One bright, sunny and peaceful morning in Alphys' lab down in Hotland, the poor lizard girl was sleeping peacefully in her bed with Mettaton...when all of a sudden, the bedside telephone rang loudly and woke both of them up with a fright!

"Um...hello? Who IS it?" Alphys asked over the phone.

"Here, let ME answer it!" Mettaton requested as Alphys handed the phone over to him.

"Hey there, Napstablook, what's up?" Mettaton asked Napstablook cheerfully while Alphys went into the kitchen area and poured herself her favorite Weeab-O's cereal.

"Um...hey there, Mettaton...I just wanted to ask you if I could, like...come over or something..." Napstablook (who now had a robotic body) sniffled and sobbed shyly over the phone.

"Aw, you poor little thing, of COURSE you can come over!" Mettaton giggled. "Where you at?"

"Standing...right...at the front door..." Napstablook sighed dejectedly, hanging up.

"Oh, for crying out loud!" Mettaton groaned, walking over to the front door and opening it for him as he pathetically moped his way inside.

"So, Napstablook, I know you don't like to talk much, but...what do you have on your MP3 player for us to listen to?" Mettaton asked Napstablook, showing him around.

"Why, it's all...just a bunch of...cheesy old...Linkin Park songs...from the mid...2000s..." Napstablook sighed, hanging his head in emotacular shame.

"Alright, THAT'S it, I'm outta here!" Alphys cringed, pouring her cereal down the garbage disposal drain and bolting out the door on an important mission to Asgore's castle.

"Wow...I take it...someone...really hates...punk emo gothic...music...that went out of style...back in like...2012 or some shit..." Napstablook sighed, brushing the tears from his eyes.

"Can you really blame her, Blooky?" Mettaton shrugged, grabbing Napstablook by the hand and dragging him over to Alphys' secret elevator, which was disguised as a personal bathroom, and ordered it to go straight down into Alphys' True Laboratory.

"What...what IS all this...hold me, Mettaton...I'm so scared..." Napstablook sighed as Mettaton cradled him in his arms and stepped out of the elevator into a place that strongly resembled the dark, grimy catacombs of hell itself...only converted into a hospital level.

"Napstablook, am I really going to have to hold your hand again?" Mettaton scolded him.

"Okay, okay, okay...I guess I'll just...try to man...up a little..." Napstablook sighed as he reluctantly followed Mettaton through the dirty, dank, slimy hallways; as the two of them walked, wall-mounted data log screens lit up with a faint digital glow and illuminated the dark reaches of the place with their strongly 4chan-reminiscient green text.

"For your own mental safety, I think it'd probably be best NOT to read what's in these logs." Mettaton explained.

"But...I want to know...the real reason...why this place...is LIKE this..." Napstablook sobbed, burying his head in his hands and weeping gently.

"Trust me, you DON'T!" Mettaton laughed, slapping Napstablook on the back as the two of them reached the main lobby of the area, where they met by far the scariest things that Mettaton, let alone Napstablook, had ever seen in his entire life: the Amalgamates.

For starters, we had Snowy, which was basically Snowdrake's mother (only with her crest having mutated into a living stick-figure body) with the hungry mouths of two equally creepy-looking Vegetoids replacing her eyes; just to put the icing on the cake, half of her entire body was literally threatening to melt itself right off of the other side.

And then there was Endogeny, which was...a rather intimidatingly massive white dog with who-knows-how-many slimy, freakishly long tentacle-legs as well as an enormous, gaping, slime-oozing hole where its face should have been.

And then, of course, there was also Lemon Bread, which was...well, if its name was any indication, Lemon Bread was the slug-like body of Shyren's sister, only with an unnervingly gigantic mouth possessing slimy, black, moldy teeth, as well as piercing angry eyes that looked more than suspiciously similar to the end part of Aaron's tail.

Not to mention Memoryhead, which was...well, judging by its appearance, it was pretty much just a bunch of human skulls melted together, with freaking slime tentacles coming out of its many-eyed face for good measure. No one really knew exactly how this bizarre, unknown thing formed or why, but what Alphys did know was that it was incredibly weird and creepy.

And of course, how could we forget Reaper Bird, who appeared to be an Astigmatism's sideways head floating on top of a terrifyingly long detachable neck, with deformed pieces of Final Froggits for wings, as well what seemed to be an unusually long and stretched-out pair of Whimsalot legs.

"UWAHHH!" Napstablook screamed, jumping into Mettaton's arms like a frightened puppy. "IT'S TOO FREAKING SCARY! HOLD ME, METTATON, HOLD ME!"

"Chill out, Blooky!" Mettaton laughed, patting Napstablook on the head. "Trust me; despite their grotesquely horrifying appearances, these things are completely and utterly harmless!"

"REALLY?" Napstablook squeaked with twinkly eyes, poofing out his lip adorably.

"YES, REALLY!" Mettaton yelled at him frustratedly, setting him back down onto the floor.

"Alright, now who's ready to have some FUN down here?" Lemon Bread growled.

"OOH, ME! ME! NO, ME! NO, HER! NO, ME!" Snowy's Vegetoid mouths cheered as Snowy raised her right stick-figure hand, causing the left side of her body to collapse into a puddle and hastily reform itself as Endogeny sucked the entire load of dog food out of its bowl.

"Endogeny, how RUDE!" Reaper Bird scolded Endogeny, pecking at Endogeny's pointy little dog ears with its beak and throwing a ball of sludge across the room with its wing. "GO FETCH!"

"Oh, believe me, I am definitely going to make you piggies SQUEAL!" Memoryhead laughed, extending out a multitude of long, glistening, slimy tentacles from its face.

"Um...don't you think...maybe we should...I dunno...like, get out of here...or something?!" Napstablook stammered nervously, wetting his crotch plate in a fit of panic.

"Nah, let's just TRASH the place!" Mettaton laughed mischievously, pulling a large supply of place-trashing materials out of the closet while Endogeny licked up Napstablook's piss puddle.

"Oh, the indignity..." Napstablook cried, crossing his hands over his crotch and blushing in humiliation while the Amalgamates laughed at him, blowing their nasty breath all over him.

"Oh...I don't feel...so good...BLEEEAUGH!" Napstablook retched, vomiting out a nice big pile of black sticky tar and averting his eyes in disgust as Reaper Bird nibbled it off of the floor and then puked approximately half of it up into each of Snowy's hungry little Vegetoid mouths.

Meanwhile, in Asgore's castle...there Alphys was, kneeling at the throne, diligently worshipping the king's massive feet as he smugly flipped through the latest issue of Monsters Magazine.

"Oh yeah...come on...don't be shy...go ahead and suck on these fluffy white toes...I don't mind..." Asgore moaned with pleasure as Alphys licked and massaged his beautiful goat soles.

"Uh...I'm t-totally not d-doing this for fetishistic r-reasons, I s-swear!" Alphys stammered embarrassedly, briefly removing Asgore's plump juicy toes from her mouth to speak.

"Could you honestly be any more obviously lying right now, even if you tried?" Asgore asked her, wiggling his toes as Alphys licked his spongy pads and kissed the balls of his feet lovingly.

"W-well, no..." Alphys blushed, wiping the spit off of his feet with the bottom corners of her lab coat while Asgore laughed from the resulting ticklish sensation in his feet.

"Oh my...y-you're ticklish?! H-how ADORABLE!" Alphys blushed rosy-red and giggled as she pulled out her feather chainsaw and went straight to work; from that point onward, Asgore's booming cries of laughter could clearly be heard for miles around.

By the time Alphys was finished, Asgore had literally run out of breath and passed out from how hard she had made him laugh.

"YOINK!" Alphys whispered, grabbing Asgore's complimentary five-dollar bill off of the floor, pocketing it and bolting out of there before Asgore could wake up and hug her.

But alas, right when she was about to slip out of the room unnoticed, Asgore suddenly recovered and woke up with a big dopey smile on his face.

"Aw, c'mere, little buddy! How about a nice warm goat hug for old time's sake?" Asgore asked her lovingly, approaching her intently with his arms outstretched in the classic "hug" position.

"No no no, please don't hug me, PLEASE DON'T- MMMPH!" Alphys winced in pain as Asgore scooped her up into his hulking, muscular arms and hugged her so tightly that her eyes literally bugged out.

"I...APPRECIATE YOUR...PATRONAGE..." Alphys gasped and wheezed, her bones crunching and snapping as her face turned blue from being unable to breathe.

Meanwhile, back in the True Lab...Mettaton, Napstablook and the Amalgamates were hard at work, if being a bunch of total idiots can be classified as work.

"Say, where did all of this dirt on the floor come from?" Mettaton asked Napstablook as the two of them headed over into the closet while the Amalgamates had a sludgeball fight in the bedroom.

"I call it my...dirt jar..." Napstablook smiled as he grabbed the empty jar off of the floor and showed Mettaton the label sticker right on the front of it that clearly said DIRT.

"Oh, man...I feel like such an IDIOT now!" Mettaton laughed, facepalming himself as the two of them then proceeded to cover themselves in buckets of paint and roll around on the floor.

"MAYDAY! MAYDAY!" Endogeny's fellow Amalgamates screamed as it shot a multitude of snowballs from its mouth at such incredible velocity that it left gaping holes in the walls.

Meanwhile, at that exact moment, Alphys arrived back home at her Lab, entering through the front door as always. Everything looked normal, except that there was...

"Nobody here?" Alphys wondered, casting a rather suspicious glance toward her "bathroom".

"Hey, WAIT a minute..." Alphys whispered as she reluctantly tiptoed toward the door to her elevator, walked inside, and went down into the True Lab, where the party was still going strong.

"Sigh...what'd they do to this place this time..." Alphys sighed as he took a brief look at the room around her. "WHAT IN THE NAME OF-"

"UGH, I KNEW IT!" Alphys groaned, facepalming herself angrily. "THEY GOT DIRT EVERYWHERE...AND THEN THEY SPRINKLED DOLLAR-STORE GLITTER ON TOP OF IT!"

"Well...at least I'm home!" Alphys shrugged, reluctantly pressing forward into the hallway. "I can follow my intellectual pursuits!" she said, right before slipping on a banana peel and falling flat on her face. As she got back up onto her feet and continued walking (leaving a trail of paint footprints behind her), she was shocked by what she saw.

"MY DATA LOG SCREENS! COVERED IN GREENTEXTS!" Alphys growled. "Oh, wait, they're already normally like that, aren't they...still, though, MY WALLS! GRAFFITIED WITH DICKS!"

As she entered the main lobby, however, that was when shit really started to hit the fan (perhaps even literally, now that I think about it).

"MY COLLECTION OF RARE, LIMITED-EDITION MEW MEW DVDS! VIOLATED!" Alphys screamed, clutching her head to try to suppress her burning anger as she saw the evil facial hair and devil horns scribbled onto her DVD covers with permanent marker.

"Come on, what else is there to see? WHAT ELSE?" Alphys sobbed, sniffling a little and switching back into full-on rage mode when she saw the next atrocity lying in wait for her.

"MY AMALGAMATE DROPPINGS! PAINTED LIKE EASTER EGGS!" Alphys gasped, turning around and finding the source where all of the godawful emo music was coming from.

"AND WORST OF ALL...THE FUCKING RADIO! BLARING LINKIN PARK MUSIC ACROSS THE ENTIRE INTERCOM SYSTEM AT FULL GODFORSAKEN VOLUME!" Alphys screamed with rage, yanking the disc out of the radio and throwing it across the room like a Frisbee.

"HUAAAAAAAAAAGH! YOU FREAKING IDIOTS!" Alphys shrieked furiously, storming into the sludge-spattered bedroom and pinning Mettaton and Napstablook firmly up against the wall.

"YOUUUUUU!" Alphys growled lividly, pointing her (middle) finger at them assertively.

"BOTH of YOUUUUUU!" she continued, jabbing said finger into their eyes for added effect.

Suddenly, Alphys' anger reached a level so unfathomably high that several key nerve endings in her brain popped, causing her face to eerily contort into just about the creepiest smile ever.

"OHH, WHAT I'M GONNA DO TO YOUU..." Alphys moaned with sick, twisted pleasure as she fantasized about doing some truly unspeakable, horrible and traumatizing things to them.

"I'M SO ANGRY!" she boasted with a terrifyingly huge smile on her face as literally every single vein in her body pulsated with pure self-contained rage.

"FIRST...I'M GONNA TEAR YOUR VOCAL CORDS OUT." Alphys chuckled grimly, clenching her clawed hands into fists and biting her lip as her palms started to bleed.

"AND THEN...I'M GONNA...SAW YOUR LIMBS OFF..." Alphys continued, grinding her teeth together for added sawing effect as Mettaton and Napstablook trembled in fear.

"YEAH...THAT'S WHAT I'M GONNA DO..." Alphys whispered to herself, still grinning from ear to ear as she literally daydreamed about the dreadful things she was planning to do to them.

"We don't like this, Alphys!" Napstablook cried and sobbed as him and Mettaton hugged each other tightly, shaking in absolute terror at the thought of what she was going to do to them.

"Yeah, you're scaring the living DAYLIGHTS out of us!" Mettaton whimpered, trying not to wet myself as a conspicuously large amount of urine trickled down Napstablook's leg onto the floor.

"GOOD, YOU SCARED, HUH? NEXT...I'M GONNA...RIP YOUR EYES OUT OF THE SOCKETS!" Alphys laughed psychotically, making the overexaggerated motion of doing so for added effect.

"NO, PLEASE! PLEASE DON'T CUT MY LEGS OFF, I'M BEGGING YOU!" Mettaton collapsed onto the floor, grabbed Alphys' ankles and begged like a dog.

"I CAN'T CRY LIKE A BITCH WITHOUT MY EYES!" Napstablook cried like a bitch.

"AND YOU WANNA KNOW WHAT ELSE? I'M GONNA KICK YA...AND YOU'RE GONNA FALL." Alphys chuckled, kicking Mettaton square in the face...just for kicks.

"AND I'M GONNA LOOK DOWN...AND I'M GONNA LAUGH AS I UNBUTTON MY LAB COAT AND EMPTY OUT MY BLADDER ALL OVER YOUR PATHETIC, SORRY ASSES!" Alphys laughed.

"BUT FIRST...FIRRRRRRST...I gotta take a WHIZ!" Alphys snickered.

"Don't you GO anywhere! You stay right here...RIGHT on this SPOT! I'll be BACK!" Alphys laughed as she headed off to the bathroom...only to suddenly notice Mettaton's highly extravagant, heavily decorated laptop lying in the middle of the bedroom!

"What's THIS stupid thing?" Alphys stopped in her tracks and asked them, pointing at it.

"Oh, that's just my customized Windows 8000 laptop! Not only can it play Bejeweled, but it is also LITERALLY bejeweled!" Mettaton laughed while Alphys was distracted by its shininess.

"But can it play Undertale?" Alphys asked him.

"Oh, you bet your fat weeaboo ASS it can!" Mettaton laughed. "In fact, me and Napstablook here are STILL trying to figure out how to beat Sans in the Genocide Run! What fun THAT is!"

"HMM...so...ya LIKE this game?" Alphys chuckled.

"Sigh...yes..." Napstablook groaned, hanging his head in shame.

"Do you REALLY like it?" Alphys asked the two of them sassily, glaring at them smugly.

"It's our favorite game in the WHOLE world!" Mettaton cheered happily, hugging Napstablook.

"Ah, so you like the GAME, huh? WELL...HOW DO YOU LIKE...THIS!" Alphys laughed as she unbuttoned her lab coat, whipped her (censored) dick out and let it spray like a hose all over Mettaton's laptop, which just so happened to be both hooked up to the wall AND also incredibly overcharged.

"TEE HEE HEE! HEH HEH HEH! EHEHEHEHE!" Alphys laughed as the electrical current began to rustle her jimmies.

A few involuntary flickers of the lights later, the entire True Lab exploded from electrical current overload, and everyone in it predictably went straight to hell just to top it off!

"You whizzed on Mettaton's laptop, didn't you?" Chara snickered, pointing at Alphys smugly.

"DON'T! WHIZ! ON! METTATON'S LAPTOP!" Mettaton and Napstablook sang as the episode finally came to its eternal close.

EPISODE 2 END