Alphys Höek CHAPTER 2
#2 of Alphys Höek
CHAPTER 2
"Ow...my poor, poor HEAD..." Alphys moaned in pain as she finally woke up from her slumber the next morning, sitting up and clutching the side of her head with her hand. "Where AM I ?"
"Mettaton's fabulous STUDIO, dearie!" Mettaton laughed, pulling her up onto her feet. "All of your delightful FRIENDS are here too, just in case we may end up running short on actors!"
"Umm...aren't we all basically going to be acting as ourselves anyway?" Alphys shrugged.
"Well...yes, but that just makes this even BETTER!" Mettaton crooned with twinkly eyes as Alphys proceeded to systematically greet Sans, Papyrus, Frisk, Mettaton, Undyne, Toriel, and Asgore...in that EXACT order, of course.
ONE MONTH LATER...
Tons of people were gathering from all around town to watch the first pilot episode of Mettaton's new comedy series, which had been named "The Undertale Show" by Asgore.
On a semi-related side note, the show was also a blatant parody of Ren & Stimpy, but the show's target audience would watch literally ANYTHING with Undertale characters in it.
"Greetings, everyone!" Mettaton greeted everyone over the intercom at the local MTT Theatre. "It looks like it's time for the first of our four brand-spanking-new comedic shorts, which will very likely grow into a full-scale animated sitcom series sooner than you think, to begin!"
"Over the course of this series' pilot episodes, you may find yourself learning just a LITTLE bit more about your beloved Undertale characters' true selves, most ESPECIALLY Alphys', than you're probably comfortable with. We dutily apologize for this in advance!" Mettaton explained.
"Enjoy the totally-not-CGI-enhanced SHOW, darlings! And remember: a viewer that leaves his or her worthless TRASH scattered all over my beautiful floors will be SWIFTLY euthanized! Alright, that's all for now, folks! TOODLES!" Mettaton laughed as the show began.
EPISODE 1: CHARA'S BEST FRIEND
"Undyne, we need a job BADLY." Alphys sighed, clutching the sides of her head and sitting next to Undyne on the edge of the hood of a car wreck in one of the many dark, cold alleyways of New York City as both of their legs dangled off the edge of the car dejectedly.
"I agree! I mean, seriously, just LOOK at the way our puny little legs dangle in the wind! It's absolutely PATHETIC and unacceptable and I will NOT stand for it!" Undyne yelled valiantly, leaping down onto the ground and falling flat on her face due to how weak her legs were.
"You can say THAT again!" Alphys laughed as a mysterious boy suddenly approached them.
"OH MY GOD, ARE YOU SERIOUSLY-" Alphys and Undyne screamed, covering their mouths and pressing their bodies against the wall of the alleyway in terror at the sight of him.
"Greetings. I am Chara." the boy introduced himself with a very suspicious-looking bow, drawing out a knife. "Would you mind if I were to keep you two as my darling PETS?"
"Uhh..." Alphys and Undyne stammered, darting their eyes back and forth.
"SAY. YES." Chara warned them, drawing out his bloody, glistening knife.
"OKAY, OKAY, JESUS CHRIST!" Alphys and Undyne reluctantly obeyed him, following him into his surprisingly beautiful house, which (of course) was naturally decorated with corpses.
"My, my, what a nice PLACE you have! I wish my old LAB was this nice!" Alphys complimented him, shaking his hand in an attempt to butter him up as they went down into the basement.
"DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT." Chara growled, squeezing her hand so hard that it actually caused her to cry tears of pain as her fingerbones were briefly crushed together.
"My, my, what sharp TEETH you have! Just like me! HA HA!" Undyne laughed merrily.
"The better to BITE YOUR FUCKING FLESH OFF with, my dear!" Chara laughed, throwing Alphys and Undyne into a cage together and waltzing off to his living room to watch TV.
"WHAT IN THE HELL ARE WE GOING TO DO NOW, ALPHYS?!" Undyne screamed, banging the metal rods of the locked cage with her fists...but even with her strength, it was useless.
"Obviously, let's roleplay!" Alphys giggled as the two of them proceeded to be total dorks together in the most ironically adorable fashion possible under the given circumstances.
"Oh, MEOW I love MEW so much, Rover! I just...I just want to rub your delicious ruPURR nipples all over my MEWtiful kitty face right MEOW!" Alphys moaned with awkwardly misplaced excitement, fantasizing about being the girlfriend of her all-time favorite anime boy.
"NOW WOW, we mustn't let ARF BARK-inducingly passionate love for each otheRRR get too RUFF, my oh-so-precious DARFling! We still need to find the seven magical crystals, Selina!" Undyne replied in an ear-gratingly cheesy tone as the two of them began french-kissing.
"OH MY DOG, THIS IS SO PURRFECT, I CAN'T EVEN TAKE IT ANYMEOW! HOLD ME, ROVER, HOLD ME IN YOUR LOVING ARMS AND SHOW ME THAT SHINY RED ROCKET OF YOURS!" Alphys moaned in ecstasy as her brain went into total Weeaboogasm Overdrive mode.
"Well, I'll say, you ARF definitely the pussy-cat I've been seaRRRching for at the local Kittopolis BARK!" Undyne snickered like a dog as Chara suddenly walked in on them.
"Uhh...we c-can explain..." Alphys and Undyne stammered humiliatedly, blushing up a storm and laughing awkwardly as they fidgeted about nervously in their cage.
"Good news, pets; my house has YouTube-linked security cameras in it!" Chara laughed.
"Your house WHAT?!" Alphys and Undyne screamed, hugging each other in terror.
"Yup, that's right; I just uploaded that entire humiliating CHARADE of yours onto the Internet and there's NOTHING that you can do about it!" Chara laughed, pulling out his iPhone and watching the view count on his latest Undertale shitpost skyrocket like hotcakes.
"1,000...2,000...5,000...10,000..." Chara laughed as Alphys and Undyne clung at the bars of their cage furiously, foaming at the mouth rabidly with anger.
"Hmm...you want me to let you out? FINE! Come on, let's take a nice relaxing WALK!" Chara cackled grimly, pulling out his knife yet again and using his psychic powers to unlock the cage.
"I'll show you a nice relaxing fucking WALK!" Undyne screamed at him, lunging straight at him...only to be immediately shredded into dusty pieces by his absurdly sharp knife!
"Why, you...YOU...YOU DISEASE!" Alphys roared like a Tyrannosaurus Rex, charging across the room and grabbing a nail bat out of Chara's toybox with a downright maniacal look on her face.
"Oh, BOO FUCKING HOO, you have a goddamned NAIL BAT! You, with your PUNY little fucking T-Rex arms! Oh, I'm so fucking SCARED! OH, HOW THE MIGHTY HAVE FUCKING FALLEN, AM I RIGHT?!" Chara laughed arrogantly as steam shot out from Alphys' blaring nostrils.
"CORRECTAMUNDO, MOTHERFUCKER!" Alphys laughed as she swung the bat right into Chara's stomach with all her might, sending him flying halfway across the room.
"UWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Alphys laughed dementedly as she lunged straight at him at hit him square in the face with yet another full-force swing, knocking five of his teeth out, crushing his nose into his brain, and knocking him the other half of the way across the room.
"Please...have...MERCY..." Chara collapsed onto his hands and knees and begged like a dog, coughing up blood and weeping in agony.
"YOU PICKED THE WRONG FUCKING NERD TO UNDERESTIMATE, BITCH!" Alphys yelled valiantly at him, lifting her bat up skyward and preparing for the grand slam of the century.
"DIE, DIE, DIE, DIE, DIE!" Alphys screamed furiously with each swing as she brutally smashed Chara's face into the ground with her bat until there was almost literally nothing left of it.
"AHHHH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HAAAAH!" Alphys laughed maniacally as she stood on the remains of Chara's body and held her bat skyward in a beautifully prideful victory pose.
EPISODE 1 END