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LAST TIME ON OH, COLLEGE: All sorts of problems for walking to a fucking class.

Albus and Dev opened the door to the classroom. They walked in, and were greeted by a tall, skinny Bald Eagle with an effeminate voice and a Southern accent. "Welcome to Psychology class. Please have a seat, you two." He pointed towards two seats at a table that were right next to each other. "By the way, before class begins, who here has any issues with bisexual men? I want to know so that I can spite them" Albus announced. Even before then, most of the class was giving him AND Dev a judgmental stare. He and Dev looked down, and noticed that they were holding hands. "JUST. FRIENDS." Dev barked.

_I'm not making the same mistake with Dev that I made with Jem _Albus thought to himself. "Yeah, about that, Dev. I was hoping that...well...you told me yourself that you're bi too, so I figured that you'd be okay with at least going out with me to see how it...feels?" Albus revealed. "Please just sit down." the teacher asked. "But I'm not done talking. I'm also an atheist, gender-role-non-conforming, autistic, nerdy, non-athletic, socially awkward even by autism standards, and I haven't figured out my gender identity yet, so maybe trans, maybe not. I'm just putting that out there so that I can weed out the judgmental ones to avoid and/or spite, and find the non-judgmental ones so that I can potentially be friends with them." "Now that you've done that, could you please sit down?" "Alright." "Thank you."

Then Albus and Dev sat down in their seats. The teacher continued talking, saying "And to those of you who gave them dirty looks for holding hands, don't even bother. I myself don't exactly approve of their, let's say, 'interests', but I know that those aren't relevant in the classroom, and I'm not going to try and stop them from partaking in what they will. They have every right to do those things in the privacy of their own...sorry. I'm used to saying 'home' but in their own dorm room. You do live in a dorm, right?" "Yes, we do" Dev replied.

Albus sat on the left, and Dev sat on the right. On Albus's left was a purple female Fox in a cheerleader's uniform, and on Dev's right was a black male Bunny with the fur on his right ear and right side of his head dyed blue, pink and purple, also dressed in a cheerleader's uniform. The Fox whispered "You know, I have a thing for bisexual guys. Maybe we can go back to my dorm room sometime soon and...y'know...have a little fun of our own?" "Oh, so you mean having sex?" Albus asked, having no fucking clue that he was supposed to whisper. "Yes. Yes I do." she replied, mumbling "Wow. He IS autistic.", because she is kind of a total bitch. Then the teacher started talking again.

"Okay, so here's how the first day of class will go. First, we'll all introduce ourselves, and then, we'll go over how everything works in this class." He pointed to Albus with a ruler in his right hand. "Since you already have a head-start on telling us about yourself, would you like to finish?" "Yes I would" Albus replied. "When I was five, I was diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome. I was also diagnosed with hyperlexia at the time, which means I read really far above average. When I was 10, doctors found out I had hyperthysemia, which means that I have a far-above-average memory, and I have good memory even by those standards, and it's sometimes described as near-perfect. They also diagnosed me with something called Busey's syndrome. I kind of don't know all that much about that diagnosis., because I never bothered to read up on it. I came out as bisexual at age 12, and before then, I was bullied a lot, because I never really paid attention to what was cool or cared about gender roles. After I came out, I was bullied even more. I left home at age 16, and after a while, I got here due to an academic scholarship for making a lot of money off of the stock market before I was even 18."

"Thank you for the information" the teacher replied. "For those of you who don't know, Busey's syndrome, which is something we will cover, is a neurological condition that causes a vast improvement in learning speed, memory, coordination and reflexes, but the bad side is the part where it causes a shorter attention span and emotional instability. I'm pretty sure the bullying might have made that last one a little worse, and I'm sorry for what you went through. Anyways, could you please tell us your name?" Albus replied "My name is Albus Kane, and that is my mother's maiden name. My last name at birth was Blacksad." The Fox's eyes sprang wide open, and she leaped out of her seat, turned to him and asked "So you're THAT Albus Blacksad, right? The biggest sissy in the entire school, the one who couldn't do even one push-up, but still called himself a man, and you're telling me that you became...THAT!?" "I look just as scrawny as I did back then. Is it my facial features, because I-wait. You're that bitch, aren't you? Jesha Martelli! Do you even give a SHIT about what you put me through? Humiliating me in front of nearly the entire school, ruining what I thought was my ONE chance at true love, making a mockery of my emotions and my love for a woman, and driving me to attempt suicide?"

"Well, you were a sissy, a queer and a wimpy dweeb. What makes you think that you didn't deserve it?" "YOU SOULLESS CUNT!!!" "Don't you ever say ANYTHING like that to someone like me!" Then she tried to slap him, and he slammed her head on the table, and a bit of blood came out. "I can get you arrested for that!" "I can get you arrested on grounds of hate speech, for one thing. For another thing, that was self-defense from YOUR attack, even from a technical legal standpoint. Third, you're the one who initiated the confrontation, making you at least partially responsible. For a fourth thing, YOU can get arrested for slapping me, because I can press charges for attempted battery, and believe me when I say that I can convince people that I'm right" he replied. "Both of you stop right now!" the teacher shouted, then asking "By the way, Albus, that was a very good argument you just made. Tell me: is your major Criminal Justice?" "Business. Either way, you need to know how the law works." Then they both sat down.

"I'm pretty sure she told us plenty about herself" the teacher said with a huge smirk on his face. "By the way, my name's Clive Anderson. Now I would like to ask his 'friend' to introduce himself" "My name's Devon Forrester, but everyone just calls me Dev. I'm also bisexual, nerdy and an atheist, but I'm not as smart as him. Also, I'm very much the athletic type, if my body didn't give it away." He started stretching and flexing a little. "My major is also business. Small world, isn't it? Anyways, I came out as bisexual at age 10! I figured out and was open about it that soon! I could tell that even though people even said I 'acted straight', even though that makes no sense, they were still prejudiced against me, but they were too scared of ME beating THEM up to bully me. I also felt like I kinda morally had to protect the other students, especially the ones in the LGBT club. I graduated from high school just normally, and I got here with an athletic scholarship. I play video games a lot, especially first-person shooters." A wide smile with closed eyes, reminiscent of this emoticon: ^_^, appeared on Albus's face.

"Now let's move onto the Bunny sitting next to him. He looks rather strange, and that makes me think that he's got a lot of interesting things to share with us about him." The Bunny stood up and said, in a remarkably effeminate voice, to the degree of even sounding like a woman's sometimes, "My name is Marinello Periguzzi, but a lot of people have trouble saying my name, so they just call me Marinella. It sounds girly because I act girly and I'm PROUD of it, and also I'm dressed in drag most of the time, and I'm proud of that too. If you couldn't tell by the colors in my hair-" Albus impulsively interrupted. "THOSE ARE THE BISEXUAL PRIDE FLAG COLORS!!! HOLY FUCKING TITS!!! YOU'RE BI TOO!?" "I AM! By the way, you have a really hot roommate." "Thanks, I guess" Dev said. Then Marinella sat down.

As the teacher was going through how homework works, Albus was still able to pay attention with his ears, but his eyes were skimming through the Psychology textbook. He opened the book up with an audible SLAM!, and raised his hand. "What is it, Albus?" "The textbook has a part talking about the influence of media on our minds, and it says that violent video games cause real violence, and that is complete and utter bullshit." "Could you please tell us why?" the teacher asked, being an awesome teacher. "For one thing, I really hope that the class goes over psychological defense mechanisms, because there's one that's really relevant: sublimation. Since you're channeling unacceptable violent urges into an AWESOME and acceptable outlet, doesn't that mean that violent video games REDUCE violence IRL?" "But the book cites actual studies, which-" "Were all debunked over a year before the book's current version was published, and up to a decade before. By the way, it's nice to finally have a teacher that actually wants to have a reasonable discussion that contributes to the class, rather than simply telling me to sit down and shut up, or even punishing me." "I'm glad you're happy about that." Then class continued as usual.

NEXT TIME ON OH, COLLEGE: Oh, cafeterias. So full of idiots and assholes that sometimes interrupt your eating.