Just Once: Welcome to the Friendzone. Enjoy your stay.

Story by Albus Kane on SoFurry

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#4 of Just Once

Well, looks like it's off to flashback-land! Who wants to feel slightly depressed? Nobody? Well, fuck it! Anyways, enjoy the story!


LAST TIME ON JUST ONCE: Guess who the fuck finally showed up? Only three episodes in, and she's already making me and him all emotional.

Albus woke up in the bed on his apartment. Jem was laying right next to him, and woke him up by pouring some honey in his mouth. As he noticed, he thought Please go where I'm nearly absolutely sure this is going. Please, nothing go wrong. "We must have a LOT to catch up on. So, how're you feeling? you just passed out." "God, you're beautiful. WHAT THE FUCK!? I'm sorry yiff-I mean if I-" "It's all good. So, I really DO look good in this outfit." Jem reassured him and herself. She was wearing a Gazelle t-shirt that she had bought from Hot Topic, jorts, and no bra. If there is a god, then this will go EXACTLY where I hope it is, because after ALL THIS TIME, and that one incident, something needs to happen between us.

"What were you trying to say to me?" she asked, with an obvious "just say it, please!" look that matched his own, with each not noticing that look on each other. "Remember that once incident towards the end of middle school?" He asked. "The one with the lunch room, and those letters we didn't send to each other? I kept telling everyone that Jesha forged those, but they wouldn't believe me" "Did you?" he asked, sounding like he was about to start crying, because he was, whether from joy or sadness. "Uhhhhhhhh....." "I really DO need to know, so PLEASE be honest with me. Did you write them, or were they fake?" "I kinda did." "Kinda? What in the ass? I need a better explanation!" "They were taken out of context." "Then please provide the context." "We were young, lonely, horny and stupid, alright?" "We still kind of are, you know."

After he said that, she jumped on top of him and started to take off her shirt. "I just don't know what else to say. Just as I hoped" he said, when he saw her tits, well-endowed but clearly not fake. He then thoughtlessly inquired "So, friends with benefits?" They both frowned a little, and shrugged, feeling beyond let down inside. They could just fuck those negative emotions away, though. Now let's get to the flashback.

They were both 13 years old at the time, in a middle school combined with a high school AND an elementary school, on a planet called Alistaria. It's a bit like Earth, only full of way more shitheads, and a theocracy planetwide. Albus had been writing passionate love letters to Jem, but never had the courage to send them to her. Jem did the same to Albus. He kept the letters in a heart-and-flower-covered folder labeled "for my true love" next to his cherished plushie, a stuffed bunny named Fiver. Again, guess the reference, and if you guessed Watership Down, give yourself a fursuit hug and have a celebratory wank. He read that book and loved it, being an avid reader.

One day, two of the gang of bullies that regularly beat him up, insulted him and humiliated him, walked up to his locker and saw the folder. They saw Fiver, too. One of them was a golden-furred Fox with a shit-eating grin half the time, named Freduard Mercrucer. Having the most mockable given name since Gaylord, he made everybody call him Freddy. He sounded like an older version of Jake Lloyd from Star Wars: Episode 1, and was even more of a fucking brat. You really hate him yet? He was assisted by a brown horse that acted and sounded like a middle school version of Vegeta from the Funimation dub of DBZ (the Christopher Sabat one, which is OBJECTIVELY the best one), named Donovan Troubadour, or Don. You can tell this isn't going to be pleasant, can't you?

They walked up to him, pushed him away from his locker, and looked inside. "Oh, look. Looks like someone's a real sap. Grow some balls and-" Freddy looked inside, and saw the romantic letters and poems, all addressed to Jem. Don, meanwhile, grabbed Fiver. "Let go of Fiver, please." Albus asked in a forced monotone. "Why don't you TRY and take him from me?" Don taunted, beginning to try and pop the bunny's head off with his thumb. That's when Albus swung his right foot in the air, and nailed Don straight in the face. "GET AWAY FROM FIVER!" he said, ready to cry. "These are even fucking pussier than I THOUGHT they would be" Freddy said, before laughing cruelly. Then he ran off with them. Grabbing Fiver, Albus chased after him. He was faster than Freddy, but Freddy just dropped a few marbles, and Albus tumbled down and got quite some bruises. Then he went to the nurse's office to get patched up, just in time for lunch.

Meanwhile, over at Jem's locker, the one woman in the gang of bullies, Jesha Martelli, leaned on the locker just to the left of Jem's. She had a remarkably similar-looking folder, also labeled "for my true love", and was often called a tomboy, mainly because she could actually fight for herself and often fought for Albus, loved action-adventure movies and games, and wanted to be a soldier for Alistaria, among other things, but they rarely, if ever, enlist women to this day. Jesha reached into the locker and snatched the folder away. "Oh. And what would this be? Looks like you do have a feminine side. It's quite a shame that your friend Albus acts more like a woman than you do. You must both be closet trannies", Jesha taunted, being exactly how your average sadistic internet troll from 4Chan would be like if they acted IRL the way they act online. "I have an idea on what to do with these. I'm going to take these to Freddy and tell him" "DON'T YOU DARE!" and then Jem grabbed Jesha by the throat, and was sent to the principal's office. No questions were asked about what actually happened, and she was just put through an ordeal of listening to people who don't know what the fuck they're talking about chastise her that ended, of course, just in time for lunch.

Now, we move to lunch time. Albus and Jem were sharing the details of what happened, but didn't mention anything that would give away what the folders had in them. Then, out of seemingly nowhere, Freddy, Don and Jesha stood up on a nearby lunch table, the tables being rather large, and started yelling. "ATTENTION EVERYONE!!!" Freddy yelled, with the only faculty member there being the lunch lady, a warthog who was too busy chain-smoking a bit behind the lunch counter to give any shits. "We have uncovered possibly the sissiest thing about the sissiest boy in this school, Albus Blacksad!" Blacksad was his surname at birth, and when he left home, he changed it to his mother's maiden name, Kane. "Don't forget that some of it's from the most obviously-lesbo tomboy in our school, Jemeniah Harberie!" Jesha shouted as an addendum. Then Freddy started reading one of Albus's letters in a mockingly-effeminate and mockingly-overly-emotional voice.

"To the one person for me, whom our lord has created for me alone, Jemeniah." Back then, Albus was deeply religious, and, having come out as bisexual at that time already, and going through conversion therapy, felt deep shame in his sexuality, keeping it repressed. His romantic side, however, was unencumbered by anyone or anything. After this incident, though, he figured that either there is no god, or there is one, and he just likes to fuck with people. WRITER'S NOTE: This is what I believe. I self-identify as atheist, but I'm technically agnostic, acknowledging the one scenario in which there could be a god, given the evidence to the contrary today. BACK TO THE STORY. "I just wish there was a way to be a real man, like my father keeps telling me to be, and tell you how I feel. He doesn't understand what I feel for you, though. He keeps telling me that he thinks that it's all about sex. Mother, though understands perfectly. With that being said, I just hope that someday I have the courage to send you this letter. Every day that I go simply being friends and nothing more with you is a day of eternal frustration and torment. Every night, I dream of the day when the two of us will be together at last, for the rest of our lives. I just want that to be our reality. Please, when you read this, tell me you feel the same way about me. I need you, Jem. With love, Albus." There was laughter, some genuine, some forced by peer pressure, from nearly everyone in the cafeteria. "Isn't he a little Casanova? What a little wussy boy!" Don shouted.

"I've got some by HER to HIM that I wanna read. Oh, but you WANT each other to know how you feel, so why are YOU complaining?" She knew that they were complaining because people were making a mockery of their feelings, and she just reveled in their humiliation and their pain. "To my one true love for all time, Albus Blacksad. I don't care what my father says about you. I know that he keeps telling me that you're no good for me, and that you're not a real man, but I just know that nothing he says is even worth listening to anyways. You're more than good enough the way you are, and that's just the way I want you. I see something in you that I wish I could see in myself: innocence. I just hope that I'm good enough for you, and that you feel the same way about me that I feel about you. Please, Albus, say that you love me too. Jemeniah Harberie."

The laughter intensified. "It looks like even tomboys are able to find true love, in the form of someone that's lame enough for them to have a chance! Let's give it up for the loser lovers!" "Loser lovers! Loser lovers! Loser lovers!" everyone chanted. Then Albus grabbed Freddy's feet, pulled them out from under him, and kept pulling, and the back of his head landed on the edge of the table. "KISS KISS KISS KISS KISS KISS KISS KISS" the crowd started chanting. They walked towards each other slowly, getting more weak-kneed with every step. Then, just as they were about to embrace, they ran away crying, all of the way home.

At least now they get to fuck breathlessly. That's something, right?

NEXT TIME ON JUST ONCE: See the previous sentence. Le fucking will soon begin.