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LAST TIME ON JUST ONCE: "Why did I have to wake up from such an awesome dream!? AAAAGH!!" -Albus Kane

Albus finally arrived at the space-scraper building (skyscrapers that go into space, at least a bit) where UTI's HQ was located. As he walked in, he noticed that the receptionist was particularly annoying, even by receptionist standards. She was a pink Unicorn with horn-rimmed glasses, warts all over her snout, and a voice that sounds like the stereotypical Jewish mother's voice, only more annoying.

As he walked up to her, he thought Oh holy fuck no please don't tell me your voice is what I think it will be, and then she started talking, and it was. "Welcome to the Bannistar building, home of the most luxurious of all hotels in the Grand Stallion hotel, waterpark and casino chain. How can I help you? _Okay, distract yourself from her voice by thinking about something else about her, or maybe not about her. _

Let's see what her horn can be used as. For one thing, a sex toy. WAIT! Am I that much of a perv? OH SHIT THINK OF SOMETHING ELSE! I got it! You can hollow it out and use it as an ice cream cone! Albus thought, proceeding to say "I'm here because I'm supposed to go to the UTI board room in this building.", and she replied "Keep walking down that hallway until your run into an elevator, right in front of you", as she pointed towards a nearby hallway. "Then, you get on the elevator, and go to the 500th floor. Once you're there, just keep walking forward and you'll get to it. By the way, try not to cause too much trouble" she continued. "What makes you think you would need to tell me that?" Albus inquired, getting the response "It's just something about how you look. It's just something about how all lions look to me", and responding "Then get your fucking glasses cleaned, you racist guttercunt!" before storming off down that hallway.

As he walked down the hallway, he noticed some things happening. He noticed a Raccoon standing in front of a rubbish bin, whistling suspiciously while most likely pilfering something from there. He noticed a Horse that even LOOKED like a douchebag hitting on an Otter that had better things to do than talk with an obvious tiny-chaser, and the Otter head-butting him in the crotch. While before, he spoke in a distinctly masculine tone, his squeal of pain was remarkably effeminate. He noticed a Bull walking out of the bathroom with his fly open and his massive dong hanging out, the Bull having clearly not noticed it, or clearly not caring. Albus saw, and then pointed it out. The Bull put it away, and gave Albus the "I hate you forever for pointing out an obvious mistake I made" face that he's gotten countless times in the past.

Then he got to the elevator. He pressed the button for the elevator. He waited 30 seconds, and hit it again. He waited two minutes, then hit it again. After five more minutes, he started repeatedly pressing the button, more and more rapidly with each passing second, before he stopped, his finger exhausted and aching. Walking up to the area right next to him was a Tiger with gold-and-black fur and plenty of muscle. He then started getting closer to, and behind, Albus, and Albus started blushing, not complaining about the apparent sexual desire of him by someone attractive, being 18 and not asexual or exclusively heterosexual. Then the Tiger grabbed both his ass cheeks, and somebody by a nearby really big printer, a Mole with a physique that screamed "Hopefully people like my personality", gave a look of harsh disapproval to the Tiger, who took his hands off of Albus's ass cheeks, moved right back where he originally was, stood up completely straight, and said nothing, making not a single sound. Albus was slightly disappointed, but the Mole didn't see that.

Then, the elevator finally arrived. The two of them walked in, and then the most cliche, bland elevator music in recorded history started playing. "Can't they play something by Gazelle? Try Everything is one of my fave songs." Albus asked, just getting the "Are you fucking retarded?" look from the Tiger. About 15 seconds into the elevator ride, an Elephant walked in, being tall enough that the elevator seemed to be taller than most solely to accommodate such towering patrons. He was wearing a T-shirt with, on the front 'I don't address the Elephant in the room", and on the back, "I AM the Elephant in the room! THE Elephant!", indicating a massive ego and, thus, major douchebaggery. He moved right in front of Albus, suffocating Albus a little with his fat ass. Albus considered poking his ass with his claws, but he knew that would probably not end well. Instead, he asked "Could you please move away from me a little?" with the Elephant flipping him off with his left hand, turning, and walking to his side.

Albus then turned around and noticed that you could see out the back of the elevator. He saw countless birds texting and flying, and thought Wow, normal people can be fucking stupid sometimes. About five minutes into the elevator ride, the most effeminate male Bunny ever, who happened to have red fur, walked in. He was wearing a tank top and ultra-short, very tight jorts, that being at least borderline transvestism. In a voice that sounds like your usual gay stereotype voice, it was so effeminate, as he walked up to the Tiger, he said "Hey there, big boy. You feelin' in the mood? Just tell me what you want. You're gay too, aren't you?", to which he replied "Yeah, but it's only people who are into manly shit for me. That means there ain't no twink-ass femboy that's gonna get with me" the Tiger replied in a voice that sounds like Chris Hemsworth's.

After half a fucking hour on the elevator, Albus got out on the 500th floor. He started walking forward fast enough to be considered borderline running, and checked the time. It was 9:29:02.324 the exact moment he checked. He had just under one minute. He switched to running, parkour-ing around some people and making it to the door at 9:29:52. He quickly opened the door and shouted "HOLY SHIT I MADE IT ON TIME!!! You have no fucking clue how long the elevator ride was." Everybody gave him the "What in the fuckity fucking fuck?" look.

NEXT TIME ON JUST ONCE: The reason why sometimes you should be grateful nothing much happened during your last board meeting.