Tiramisu
#4 of Retarded short stories
Writing this story was a pice of cake
I was waiting at my table, in this classy restaurant called... Actually do we really give a shit about the place's name seriously? So I was waiting at my table and that waiter walked to me and asked my name. First of all, why did he want my name? Waiters don't usually do that... But well, I told him my name anyways. "I'm Tiramisu", I said. The waiter started to laugh and it hurt my feelings, so I became angry. "Hey! Ok it's an uncommon name but you should have some respect!" "I'm sorry, really...", he said, sturggling to contain his laughter, "but that's just really funny!" "It isn't!", I shouted, "Tiramisu is not a funny name!" Then, all the customers around me stopped eating and stared at me. "You... Your name's Tiramisu?", one of them said as a grin appeared on his lips. "What's the fucking problem?" "Well, it's funny!" "No it isn't!", I screamed, furiously standing up, pulling my chair, "MY NAME... IS NOT... FUNNY!" The waiter placed his paw on my shoulder and tried to make me calm down. "Hey, we're sorry for laughing, ok? Please don't make such a deal about it!" he told me. I knew it was stupid to get mad because of this, but... It was just too much to take. "God damnit... Ok you wanna know why it's my name? My parents survived a tsunami and when they chose my name, they were crying! They also had dyxlexia, and they spelled my name wrong! That's why my name's Tiramisu! It's freaking sad okay?!" More people stopped eating and looked at me. Some laughed, some didn't know what was happening, some just kept eating as if nothing was going on. "I'm sorry...", the waiter said, "but that's hard to believe... How could dyslexia make someone mispell a name that badly?" "I don't know..." I said, becoming sceptical myself. I tried to calm down, and sat back on my chair. I breathed deeply and apologized. "Hum... Forget it, I'm sorry... I'd like to have some of your roasted chicken, please." "Understood, sir. Will you take a dessert?" "Hum..." "A tiramisu maybe?" I hesitated. "Uhhhh... Yeah, ok... Bring me me.", I said.
After 10 minutes, the waiter brought my meal to me, and when I had eaten it, I asked for my dessert. He brought the tiramisu on my table.
I put some of it in my mouth, and as I started eating it, my right foot exploded. I took another bite, and my left foot exploded. I realized that the dessert was me. I was the tiramisu, and I was eating myself to death. There was blood everywhere. I screamed with pain but I couldn't stop eating the succulent dessert, until the end. Until I disappeared.