FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

Author's Note: Thanks to my mate, my watchers, and my viewers. You guys are awesome!

The Ballad of Phillip

Chapter 4: 1993

1993 is when things started to go downhill for the band. It all started when Eric gathered us together for a meeting about our next album. Up to this point Eric had written 10 of our number one hits while Vlad wrote 9. The two had a friendly rivalry over it, but on this day things started to get unfriendly between the two furs.

"Ok guys, listen up. I just came up with the best album of our career. It's a concept album about a fox who goes on a journey to discover the meaning of life. It's going to have some spoken dialogue too, so it'll be kind of like a movie, but in audio format. It's going to be super deep and thought provoking. It's going to be a transcendental, esoteric experience for the listener's soul", Eric said.

We all looked at him with a "what the fuck" expression on our faces.

"Guys? What's wrong?", Eric said.

"I don't know about this Eric", Bob said.

"Same", I said.

"This isn't us. This isn't what The Travellers are all about. We're not 'esoteric' or 'transcendental'. We write songs about love, life, and sometimes politics, but we're not philosophers", Vlad said.

"Are you guys idiots? We don't have to be what everyone expects us to be", Eric said.

"No and have you heard of a little something called being true to the spirit of the band?", Vlad countered.

"Yes, but we can be better and everyone will love us for being 'deep'", Eric said.

"No they won't. They'll think the album is shit because it's too 'artsy' and confusing. Don't you remember when our favorite bands tried deep concept albums? Those albums failed miserably both commercially AND critically.", Vlad said.

"Fuck you. I'm way more talented than any of you are. This album will be a success, I guarantee it", Eric said.

"What if we don't want to do it", Vlad said.

"Well tough, because since I have more hits than any of you, I've decided that I should make all of the decisions for this band going forward. I mean I must be doing something right if I can write ten number one singles, the first of which being our first ever hit", Eric said.

"That's not how this band works. We decide things together. This is a democracy", Vlad said.

"Well maybe it should be a monarchy", Eric said.

"Well maybe I'll quit", Vlad said.

"I don't care if you do or not. I'll just replace you with someone better", Eric said.

"Well if you do, you can't call this band The Travellers anymore. Remember the contract? Only us four can make up the band. If any one of us quits, dies, or can no longer perform or record for any reason, than this band is history", Vlad said.

Eric didn't respond. The entire room was silent until he finally said, "fine. I'll save my concept album for later and our next album will be 'normal'. This meeting is over." Eric then walked out of the room. We followed suit and returned home.

I mentioned the band first because Aaron and I were pretty content for the first half of 1993. We didn't fight, but I could tell he still wasn't happy that he couldn't show any public displays of affection when we went out to eat or see a movie. In May of '93, the Flame Dogs broke up. According to Aaron, he and Earl had some huge fight over their next album and Earl got so mad at him that he fired Aaron. The rest of the band quit, leaving Earl on his own. Aaron was disappointed about being fired, but not as down as I expected.

"On the bright side, I get to record a solo album and prove that I'm a way better musician than he will ever be", Aaron said with a cocky grin.

I wanted facepalm at this since I was sick of seeing how inflated Eric's ego had become, but I didn't and I just said, "cool."

Aaron spent the next few months recording his album while the next Travellers record was almost done with a tour set to start in August. The night before the tour started, Aaron invited me over to his recording studio so I could watch him work on his album. It was your typical old fashioned recording studio with a huge console with various knobs and switches and a reel to reel tape recorder in the center. There was also a wooden table in the back of the room with an old reel to reel tape recorder and a microphone like the ones reporters used for interviews before cassette tapes were invented. I wasn't sure why that was there, but I would soon find out. Aaron was in a recording booth that was closed off by a wooden door and a couple of glass windows so outside noise wouldn't get in. After Aaron finished the last song of the night, he dismissed the recording technicians and joined me by the recording console.

"You were great honey", I said.

"Thanks Philly", he said. He then pulled me in for a hug and kissed me on the muzzle. I deepened the kiss and he turned it into a French one. He then began caressing my sides, making me murr.

"We should have sex in here", Aaron said in a seductive tone.

"What if someone barges in", I asked.

"They won't", Aaron said, locking the door to the hallway outside.

"Kinky red fox", I teased.

"You what would be even kinkier?", Aaron asked me.

"What?", I asked.

"If we use that old tape recorder over there and record ourselves making love. I could then put it in the album and layer a guitar solo over it. Kind of like that Guns N' Roses song "Rocket Queen", but gay", he said.

"I'm still in the closet remember", I said.

"You really think people will recognize you from your moans? I won't tell anyone it's you. Not until you're finally ready to come out. Whenever that happens", Aaron said, rolling his eyes during the last sentence.

"I don't know. I don't know if I'll ever come out", I said.

"Why?", Aaron said.

"Because I don't think us gays will ever be truly accepted by society. There will always be homophobes. We should never come out. It's better to keep who we are a secret", I said, immediately regretting it. I don't hold this belief now, but at the time I did and I never wanted to tell Aaron about it because I knew he would react badly and he did. He got an angry look on his face and said, "what the fuck?!"

"I'm sorry", I said, my ears pinned down.

"This is worse than I thought! You really should get some kind of therapy! You'll never make friends in the gay community with an attitude like that. Not that it matters because you're probably too fucking scared to join it!", Aaron said, seething with rage.

"I'm so sorry. I take back what I said. Please don't hate me", I begged, tears running down my face.

"I don't hate you, but I think we need some time apart. I'm going home now. I'll call you when I feel enough time has passed", he said. He then unlocked the door and left. I stayed in the room for a few minutes to cry, but also so that I wouldn't run into him in the hallway. There was only one way out of this building after all. After about ten minutes or so, I left the building and went home alone.

The tour for what was now The Traveller's third album, not counting the New Year's record, was hard to enjoy since Aaron didn't talk to me again for two weeks and on top of that he couldn't tour with us because the Flame Dogs were broken up and our road manager didn't like him. Aaron was over our fight, but I was still troubled by it. I tried to ask Eric if Aaron could at least be with me on the tour even if he didn't perform, but it was a wasted effort.

"No", Eric said firmly.

"Why not", I asked

"Boyfriends and girlfriends are not allowed on the tour. End of discussion", Eric said in a bitchy tone.

"Yeah, if I can't have my wife onboard, why should you have your boyfriend?", Bob said in an equally bitchy tone.

"Guys that is stupid. Stop being a bitch Eric and let Bob and Phillip have their significant others onboard. And Bob, being a bitch towards Phillip wasn't nice. Apologize to him", Vlad said.

"I'm sorry", Bob said to me, but I could tell he didn't really mean it.

"No Vlad. I will not allow it and no one on this bus can make me!", Eric said, before storming off to his bedroom on the bus.

"I'm sorry Phillip", Vlad said.

"It's okay", I said, defeated.

The rest of tour was okay. Performing is always fun, but it was the behind-the-scenes stuff like that that made the tour suck. We got a break in December, which was nice. As I watched the New Year's countdown on TV, Aaron and I were too tired from having shower sex to go out, I felt disappointed about 1993 and hoped things would get better in 1994. Oh how foolish I was to think that.