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The Cry of Stars

From the moment I was born, I could feel the love that was given to me; from the moment I could talk, I could feel the adoration that was handed to me; from the moment I could walk, I could feel the confidence that was bestowed upon me; from the moment I could think, I could feel the inheritance that was gifted to me; from the moment I could kill, I could feel the guilt that flooded into me; from the moment I could repent, I could feel the sorrow upon which was shown to me; from the moment I could gift, I could feel the joy that was revealed to me; from the moment that I loved, I could feel the peace that was granted to me.

From the gift of life that was crafted for me, I could feel the hatred that was adorned to me; from gift of hate that was levied to me, I could feel the love that was forged to me; from the gift of giving that was taught to me, I could feel the selfishness that was harnessed to me; from the gift of selfishness that was torn from me, I could feel the giving that was strapped to me; from the gift of jealousy that was chiseled to me, I could feel the time that was shared to me.

Ever since I was born I had a pain in my heart that burned brighter than any star in the galaxy could burn; that could rise faster than any water; that could sink quicker than any lava; that could break faster than any soul.

I was given the gift of being human, from my humanity rose the fact of immortality. What was immortality and what did it mean to me? Was I able to live again countless lives and become that which I always wanted to become that would take me centuries to mold myself to be? Could I finally be awarded the ultimate prize at the end of this long and treacherous journey? Could I finally be given the chance to redeem myself to Him and Them? Was I finally given the chance to be where I belonged?

No, I wasn't. I was given another punishment. The punishment of mortality, the punishment of never knowing who I was or am going to be in the future. I was given the curse of seeing through the eyes of glass that cannot break to see the truth. I was given the burden of having to feel through skin that cannot tear to feel the true texture of life.

I was made to withstand the limits of mankind and withstand the limits of my own destructive nature. He made me the way I am because He knew that if I did not learn from my mistake, then what's the point in even making the mistakes in the first place? He molded me into what I needed to be to burn bright.

Perhaps he didn't intend it to be this way,but I burn so very bright; perhaps he's proud of me? I wouldn't think so. I met the person of my dreams so early in one of my many lives; so early that it hurts. My soul, it hurts... and it burns... Why does something so fragile and empty bring something so hearty and firm? Why is Love so epic and amazing, rather than boring and dumb?

Why does my soul burn and yearn for the love I know I cannot achieve? It is because He made me the way I am to overcome that which I believe is possible. The impossible would not be the way it is without first considering the possible. If things are so possible to be considered impossible, then there must be a way to do them. He knew this when he created me, He knew this when he crafted me to be the sunlight that shines brighter than any star.

But I ask him why? I cry louder and brighter than any star in the night sky to wonder why and fight and try... Why?

It is because I am who I am because I am strong. He made me strong, so I will continue to be strong. I will continue to be the way I am because I am strong.

So when the question comes around to me, "Who am I?" I know the answer.

I am Myself, and Nobody else.

I am Me.

Who he made me to be.

The brightest star in the night sky.

The brightest.

But also the dimmest.