Chapter 13: When My Baby Smiles at Me
#13 of The Mating Season 4
Chapter 13: When My Baby Smiles At Me
Enya was married to Theo the very next day.
Enya sat dismal in her bedroom as her mother slicked her mane with oils until it was glossy and so tamed that it lost its charming curls. She sighed every now and then and stared at her lap, and Zalia held back tears for her daughter as she laced her mane with flowers. Zalia felt acutely as if it was all her fault: she had told Keeno about Enya's feelings for Yuri, after all. But Enya insisted that this miserable union was no one's fault but Keeno's and she forbade her mother to apologize anymore.
"Mom?" Enya whispered, staring at her knees as Zalia sadly dressed her mane. "What is it like with a male? Does -- does it hurt?"
Were they cruel? Were they too heavy on top of you? Was it so horrible to bear and birth a pup? All of these questions chased each other around Enya's head, but there were some questions she didn't want to know the answers to.
"The first time, yes, it hurts," Zalia answered gently. "But not always. It's different with different females, and sometimes it depends on how kind and considerate the male. You have nothing to worry about, Enya: Theo is a good, respectable boy. Keeno wouldn't have chosen him for you if he wasn't."
Enya didn't know why she had asked her mother such a thing: she'd already been penetrated by Mora's little fist. She, Mora, and Nyssa had been together in the fields any number of times, kissing and caressing and fingering each other when they were supposed to be minding the sheep. And sometimes when Zalia left them alone for long hours, Enya slowly and deeply fisted Mora, closing her eyes and pretending that she was Yuri.
"Enya," Zalia said miserably and set aside the mane brush. Her paws closed on Enya's shoulders and massaged them sympathetically. "I have often thought of smuggling you from the village in the night, of asking Zaldon to take you away to the sun village. But . . . your grandfather made me see that such a thing would have been foolish: I would not only have endangered your life but Zaldon's as well -- and even my own were the council to find out. Honey, I'm afraid the only thing you can do is accept what is happening and . . . try to be happy with Theo. He's a good boy. And you'll still see Yuri every now and then. The two of you can still be together."
"Like grandfather and Zaldon?" Enya said wretchedly.
Zalia swallowed thickly but her voice was stern. "Yes, my daughter. You should only be so lucky."
"I want more than that, Mom!" Enya declared, her small paws balling into fists. "I want Yuri to be my wife, not some lover I see every now and then behind my husband's back," she said, scowling at the very thought.
"Stop this adolescent whining," Zalia hissed, squeezing Enya's shoulders. "You can't always have what you want! As a female, your choices are much more difficult than a male's given that you don't have very many! Do you know I almost didn't have your father? If Keeno wanted, he could have gone to his first mating season without me, and I would have had to accept that. There would have been nothing I could do about it whatsoever."
"But I bet you weren't willing to accept it," Enya returned wisely.
Zalia smiled. "You are right, my daughter. I wasn't. And it cost me a good whipping from your grandmother. Ask her some time. I'm sure she'd love to tell you. It would serve as a good example for what happens to disobedient females."
"It doesn't matter anyway," Enya said sulkily.
Zalia continued brushing her daughter's mane. "Why's that?" she asked, pushing Enya's long, tan tresses behind her ear.
"I asked Yuri to run away with me. We were supposed to meet at the village walls last night, but when I went to find her . . . I found her in the arms of a male. I just turned and ran h-home." Enya bit back a sob and was blinded by a sudden rise of tears.
Zalia had paused with the mane brush, her expression shocked and terribly sad. She had asked Yuri to try and talk some sense into Enya, but she hadn't meant for her to sleep with a male in order to push her away! One mistake after another. In that moment, she felt like the worst mother in the world, and she hated herself surely as much as Keeno probably hated himself for making Enya so miserable.
"Oh, Enya, honey," Zalia moaned, wrapping her daughter in her arms.
Enya relaxed in her mother's embrace and sobbed quietly as her mane was stroked, as she was rocked back and forth and kissed on her ears.
"I'm so sorry for all of this! I thought I was helping you when I went to your father. I never thought Keeno would push things this far --"
"I know, Mom, it's okay!"
" -- and now for Yuri to do a thing like this! I just don't know what to do. I have failed you as a mother. You should never speak to me again --"
"Mom!" Enya cried, gazing up into the blue eyes so much like her own. "I know you tried your best! It's okay! Really -- look!" Enya pulled from her mother's arms, and wiping away her tears, she smiled. "See? I'm f-fine. You're right: Theo is nice. He's not bad looking either. And maybe I'll be h-happy."
"That's the spirit," Zalia sniffed. "You are strong, Enya. And of course you are: you're mine."
Enya laughed, and though mother and daughter embraced, neither of them felt very strong. And there was no true comfort, only tears.
The wedding ceremony took place in the green fields near the village square, where Enya and Theo were joined together under the blessing of a village elder. Enya would never forget the dismal walk to the gazebo on her father's arm, her tail low behind her, those flowers in her mane. Keeno had tried his best not to look at Enya, to appear solemn and cold, as if his word was final, but Enya caught him stealing miserable glances at her every now and then, and the dark eyes she loved so much seemed almost afraid for her. She wanted to be angry with her father, but she didn't know how to anymore: Yuri was lost to her. In marrying Theo, she wasn't really losing Yuri. Not anymore.
Enya met Theo under the wooden dome of the gazebo, and it struck her for the first time that she was marrying a male she had seen around the village any number of times but to whom she had never really spoken: she was marrying a total stranger. But it was common knowledge that Theo was nice, and she often remembered hearing Zane mockingly call him the village's "golden boy" on account of his flawless reputation. Maybe marrying him wouldn't be so bad. He was known for his good sense of humor, maybe he could help her forget this ache in her chest. What was this horrible sensation that made her feet drag in the dirt? Ah. It was heartache. A deep and unyielding heartache that she felt intensely when she came to a stop in front of Theo.
Keeno released Enya's arm with a soft kiss on her cheek. Oh, god, this was real! She was getting married, she was really taking Theo's paw and staring into his eyes and repeating the words of the village elder. Her voice sounded dead to her. She certainly felt dead inside.
Theo looked dead too. This startled her: hadn't he asked her father for her? But his eyes -- always so intensely dark -- were wretched, and when he repeated the vows, he did not look at Enya but at a point beyond her head. It occurred to Enya for the first time that he was staring at someone else, at someone in the crowd. Who could he have been looking at? There was no one gathered here except their family and friends: her parents, her grandparents, her cousins Roan and Zane, her uncle and his wives, and her friends Mora and Nyssa, as well as their father Aros and Loryn and Kira. Meanwhile, Theo's parents were standing quietly behind him, watching the ceremony with the indifference of statues. There was no one present that Theo could have been yearning for so desperately, nor was there anyone for Enya to yearn for: Yuri had not come. Yuri had stayed behind in Kel's hut, and Enya was exceedingly glad: the sight of Yuri would have brought tears to her eyes. She would have broken down crying, and she wouldn't have been able to go through with it. The very knowledge that Zane was standing in the crowd incensed her. How dare he come after what he had done to her? How dare he!
When the ceremony was over, there was the usual wedding party with music and dance, but Enya was so miserable that she insisted on walking home. She was surprised when Theo took her arm and said he would take her, but it was the custom that he do so anyway. And so they walked the steadily darkening streets together, and it suddenly occurred to Enya that they weren't heading for the hut she had once shared with her parents: they were heading for the hut she would now share with Theo. Oh, yeah. She was married to him. She wanted to die.
"So what are you in for?" Theo asked, giving Enya a playful smile.
Enya lifted her eyebrows. "What do you mean?"
Theo's ears pricked forward and he stared at her. "Well . . ." he said slowly, "we were both just forced to marry each other. . . ."
"What? I thought you asked my father for me!"
Theo halted in the street and Enya did too. "Wow," he said, staring down at her. "We need to do some serious catching up. Come on, let's go in. I'll carry you."
Enya allowed Theo to lift her in his strong arms and he carried her over the threshold and into their new home. He carefully set her on her feet, then moved into the gloom and squatted to stroke up a fire. The hut came alive with the flickering flames, and Enya thought the place wasn't so bad: an elaborate prison cell, this place where she would live out the remaining miserable years of her life. She wandered to the fire and flopped dismally in a wooden chair beside it. She didn't see when Theo gazed at her sympathetically.
"So," he said, smiling, "how do you like our gilded cage so far?"
Enya couldn't help but smile back: he was trying to cheer her up and it was sweet of him. He was just as handsome as he'd always been: tall and dark with gentle eyes and lips that were always twisted in a half-smile. Watching him where he was squatting beside the fire, she noticed for the first time the tight muscles of his body: his rippling abs, his chest, those hard thighs that were so shamelessly wide apart to reveal his great cock and balls. She could even smell his cock from here -- a wonderfully strong musk -- and had to hold down a blush. His long dark mane had been pulled back in a tail for the ceremony, but now he pulled his mane loose and rumpled it with his paws. He let it flop over his eyes and licked out his tongue at Enya. She laughed. She had never had this much interest in a male's body before, but she realized it was because she had never been this close to a male that wasn't family.
"So what are you in for, sweet thang?" Theo asked again, and putting his bulging arms behind his head, he gazed at her with a handsome smile that made her heart flutter. God, he was beautiful squatting there like that. She had never felt this way about a male, and it frightened her.
"I was in love . . . with a female," Enya admitted. "And my father forced me into this. He thinks it'll keep me from getting stoned." Enya glared at the fire, and snatching one of the flowers from her mane, she tossed it in.
"Then we're in the same boat," Theo answered darkly.
Enya's eyes snapped on him in disbelief.
"Believe it, baby," Theo said, not looking up. "I like cock. You like pussy. Our parents don't like that -- so they make us do this."
Enya bit her lip angrily. It wasn't fair -- it just wasn't fair at all!
"My dad found out about me," Theo went on bitterly. "His perfect, straightforward son -- once a shining example for other young warriors -- turns out to be a tail chaser. You see . . . I'm in love with Roan."
Enya laughed before she could stop herself and was glad when Theo only smiled. "I'm sorry," she said, "but I always had a feeling Roan was a tail chaser. And the fact that I'm married to his boyfriend -- it's so not-funny that it's funny." And Enya laughed miserably again.
Theo laughed too, but the twinkling laughter faded from his eyes almost as quickly as it'd come, and he stared miserably into the flames as he said, "You know what? I don't think I could stay in this village knowing Roan was here, seeing him every day and not being able to have him . . . I'm going to crack. It took long enough just to get him alone, you know? And that was just a lucky break."
Enya grinned. "So that's why Roan stopped going after Yuri. She's the one who . . . I love." Enya stared at her feet, and she must've looked pitiful, for Theo said in great concern, "What happened to her? You look like she bit the dust."
"She left me -- for my fucking cousin!" Enya exploded, clenching her fists. She shot up from her chair, suddenly pulsing with energy. "We were running away together," she told Theo, pacing up and down, "and I go to find her, and what to do I find? She's down in the grass f-fucking Zane! I don't understand it at all! I've loved her since we were children, Theo, and she loved me -- or I thought she did." Enya's shoulders slumped. "I don't know. Maybe . . . maybe my dad was right. Maybe it wasn't real."
"Bullshit," said Theo, so casually and yet so matter-o-factly that Enya looked up.
Theo stood, and coming to face Enya, he took her paws. "What you felt for Yuri was more than infatuation, the same way I've always loved Roan. If your dad says it wasn't real it's because he doesn't know what he's talking about. They're just our parents, Enya. Doesn't make them all-knowing just because they've been there and done that. So don't let them tell you what you feel. Never let them."
Theo smiled at Enya so gently that she felt a surge of fondness for him and could only manage a tearful smile in return -- words escaped her. He squeezed her paws, then led her through the hut, saying they should explore their new home since they'd be staying in it for a while. They explored all the rooms and the little shelves, and when they came at last to the bedroom they would share, they got under the sheets together and lay side by side. Theo hesitated, but Enya let him put his arm around her and she snuggled against his chest. They stared at the ceiling.
"Should we . . . have sex or something?" Theo wondered. "I mean, they're going to expect a pup from us. If I don't get you pregnant, a lot of wolves are going to be pissed."
Enya said nothing and bit her lip. It angered her suddenly that her life was so easily dictated by every wolf in the village except herself. She had to have this many pups, she had to marry this male, she had to live in this hut, and no one ever stopped to ask her what she wanted. No one cared. She was supposed to obey the strict rules and customs or die. She was getting to the point where she'd rather die: she didn't exactly call this living anyway.
"You know," Enya burst, sitting up with a scowl, "I don't give a damn! I'm not having any pups and they can eat shit -- all of them can eat shit!" And as she started ripping the rest of the flowers from her mane, Theo lay there watching her, his face blank in his shock.
"I'm getting out of here," Enya loudly declared, tears in her eyes, her breasts shuddering as she struggled to brush the fallen flowers from them. "I don't care anymore! I want to be free -- I have to be free -- and you're not stopping me!" She paused to give Theo a look that would have cowed a male far braver than him, but Theo was grinning up at her. He sat up, and after kissing her on the lips, he whispered, "Pack your bags, baby. We're goin' ta Rio."
Enya happily pressed her forehead close to his, and they smiled at each other.
["When my baby smiles at me I go to Rio. When my baby smiles at me the sunlight lightens up my life. And I am free at last!" Great song. I stuck that in there because Theo saying they're going to Rio of all places strikes me as funny. I know. I'm corny.]