Zara 2
#2 of Leisure Writing
Second part of this miniseries. Here, things get a little more real, and a LOT more dramatic. Like I said in the first part, Zara is a very experimental character of mine, and that is because I'm applying more of myself into him than any of my other characters. And that includes my social anxieties. Now, keep in mind that he's a VERY exaggerated version of what I go through, but it is me to a fair degree. Hopefully it isn't too much that it'll scare y'all off, but if it does, at least let me know so that I know NOT to use these kinds of characters in my future works? XP
As always, any and all feedback is appreciated.
"'Anyways,'" Gwen went on, "'I think I get that question now, thanks.'" She went silent for a moment as she jotted down her answer. "'Okay, next question I don't understand: What has been the dominant gender in human society for over several millennia?'" Gwen glanced back up at him. "'When it says gender...it means if the person is male or female, right?'" Zara nodded. "'Okay...well...is that in the book? I don't know how humans demonstrate their dominance over each other...'"
Usually with warfare, Zara quipped in his head. Accurate, but not what the question was asking for. As far as he could remember, he believed that the men had set themselves up as the ones in charge. They were the strongest among their species apparently, and that somehow lead to them being the "smartest" and most "qualified" to lead their nations. But he couldn't tell her that. Onn top of the fact that it would make him sound like an ass against the humans, he would be directly telling her the answer. She wanted help, not just the answers.
"Well...I think chapter four in the book can help you there," he informed her, "I think I remember seeing a chart of the world leaders, and leaders are similar to alpha wolves, so I think you should be able to catch on quickly and answer that question."
Gwen nodded in understanding. "'Okay, thanks. I think I got it.'" Silence once again fell upon them as she drew out her textbook and flipped through the mentioned chapter. This gave the dark type a chance to go through his thoughts.
Huh...this isn't so bad. Heck...this is actually kind of nice... He snuck a glance at Gwen, whose eyes were scanning over the pages of her book. Thankfully she isn't too overbearing. She's just here to get some help, and that'll be it. She'll leave once she's...done...and...be on her...way... Huh...he felt...oddly disappointed by that idea. And for whatever reason, he couldn't figure out why.
"'Okay, so last question,'" said Gwen, snapping Zara back out of his thoughts, "'for number eight, it's asking me to describe how the relationship between humans and pokemon differs from the relationship between humans and pokemorphs. I...don't really know much about how humans treat pokemon. Did we go over that in class?'"
Zara looked up thoughtfully. He wasn't sure if they had gone over that in class, but he was sure that he had seen something about that in their assigned reading. Oh, that's right, he thought to himself, it was somewhere in chapter seven. "It-it was in the-we read-no, we needed to read about it in chapter thr-seven." ...Gods, that was a really bad stutter...
"'...Um...'" said Gwen, "'Okay, so chapter seven?'" Zara only nodded in response. He didn't want to risk a stutter like that again. Gwen nodded back and turned back to the desk, sliding her book over and leafing through (heheh, leafing) the pages.
I guess...I could tell her about what I know, he thought to himself. Having lived in a human society before attending the academy, he felt that he had a rather good grasp on what they were like. It was why he had skipped over that chapter of the book, and why he couldn't tell her much about it. W...what would I even tell her though? I never talked with any of them, and I barely ever spoke with any of the trainers' pokemon... Maybe I should read that chapter also... He bit his lip. What exactly did he know about the humans? Had he learned nothing upon his 16+ years of living amongst them? At the very least, he knew that he should have. He shrank back into his seat a little. He really didn't have much knowledge about them. What had made him believe that he did have any knowledge about them? He wasn't smart. He didn't know things. He wasn't good at anything. He was just another average morph attending this academy for the sake of learning about human society.
"'...Hey...'" said Gwen, "'are...you feeling okay?'" Zara blinked in confusion only to find his vision suddenly go blurry. Apparently he had started crying. Quickly wiping his eyes, he cleared his throat and replied, "Y-yeah, I'm fine." He didn't say anything after that, mainly due to the lump that had formed in his throat.
"'Oh...'" said Gwen, "'...are you sure?'" Zara felt another rush of tears coming on, so he quickly turned away to hide them.
"Mmhm," he mumbled back, nodding his head in case she hadn't heard him. Silently, he willed her to leave. She had gotten the help she had been looking for, and she had asked all of the questions she needed to ask. If he stayed silent enough, she'd leave him be. So for a good minute or so, that's what he did; sat there with his back turned to her without saying a word. He heard a bit of shuffling, followed by what could only be the sounds of zippers. He waited a bit longer, wanting to make absolutely sure that he was alone again before risking turning around. A minute passed, then another, and then another. His ear twitched slightly. Had she already left? He still didn't want to risk it, so he waited longer. Quietly, he sniffed the air. It still smelled the same, but was it this way before Gwen arrived? He waited longer, He couldn't hear anything happening behind him. Maybe it was okay to look now? Wanting to mask what he was doing, he turned back to the desk and reached for his laptop. His heart thudded as he saw Gwen still sitting there out of the corner of his eye. Trying not to falter, he slid his laptop over and slipped his earphones back on, opening his laptop and hitting the play button. As the music started playing, he sat there awkwardly, doing nothing but stare at his screen.
Please, just go away, please just go away, please just go away, please just go away... Another minute passed, and there she remained. Wanting to occupy himself and make himself look busy, he grabbed his binder and shifted through the pages, trying to find any paper he could work on. Thankfully, it didn't take him long to find one. Slipping it out of the binder, he reached down and fished out his pen. With it in paw, he rested his muzzle against his other paw and locked his gaze to the paper, spinning the pen in his fingers idly.
Though it was difficult to hear through the music, he caught the sound of what he guessed was a sigh. He cast a glance over to the girl next to him for just a moment and saw that she, too, was resting her chin against her hand. Zara gulped a little and adjusted his glasses before removing an earphone and turning his head only slightly in her direction. "Um...do you still...need something?"
Gwen pursed her lips a little. She squinted her eyes as though she were looking for something. "'Well...I suppose I really don't...'" An awkward silence hung between them, with Zara refusing to make eye contact with the grass type. He shifted around uncomfortably in his seat. She was sticking around for an awfully long time. It only made him feel worse. He was wasting her time. He had probably ruined her day. He never wanted to do that. He just wanted to be left alone. It was why he left his dorm room so much. It was why he isolated himself so much. It was why he hated being forced into social interactions so much. Now, here he was, ruining his classmate's day with the simple act of his existence.
He shut his eyes, ignoring the feeling of tears running down his cheeks, and turned away again. That was it. He couldn't take it anymore. It was time for what he did best... When his eyes opened, his bright yellow eyes began to glow even brighter, He began to focus on an image. Once that image was clear in his mind, he moved on to the next step. Gwen gasped as she watched Zara begin to put his things away in a hurry.
"I've gotta go," he mumbled, "I have somewhere to be." He stood up and slung his backpack over his shoulder, hugging his laptop to his chest as he hurried away from the desk.
"'W-wait a minute!'" said Gwen, getting up from her own seat, "'Come back!'" She frantically gathered her own things before hurrying after him, trying to keep him in her sights. A wave of relief washed over Zara as he watched her go. Finally, she was gone, chasing after an illusion that would lead her far off from his trial. Looking down at the desk, he got started on packing his things for real.