Gortoz 'A Ran - CH 101 - "Wish you were here..."

Story by MrGimp21 on SoFurry

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#102 of Gortoz 'A Ran


While studying one evening and going over some notes I took during class, I was flipping through some pages of my CCNE textbook in search of a practice test on a particular subject. Once I found it, I got hold of my cup of tea and carefully took a sip while reading the first question... "Using default settings, what is the next step in the router boot sequence after the IOS loads from flash?"

"... Lolwhut?" Flipping through my notes, knowing I wrote it down somewhere, I was this close to have a mental break down when I just couldn't find it... I had go over that entire chapter again to find the answer and the thought of it almost drove me insane... Sighing quietly and taking a sip from my cup of tea, I stared at the question in my textbook and then at the cup of tea I was holding... "Hell, I'm gonna need something a hell of a lot more stronger than this..."

When I signed up for IT classes all these years ago, I knew it was gonna be tough but at times like these, I just wanted to rip my hair out and scream in agony. Whenever I had a big test coming up, I became so nervous and studied a lot more than I usually did. It's all been misplaced anxiety so far because I've managed to pass them all. Most of these tests required a minimum of eighty percent and my lowest grade so far has been eighty. Some of them were relatively simple, others were very difficult. But this wasn't going to be a test. This was going to be a final and everything depended on it if I wanted to become a Cisco Engineer. So it was going to be very tough. Even though I wanted to ace it, I really felt like giving up when I had to start a particular chapter all over again to find the answer to that question...

_The preamble is 56 bits of alternating 1s and 0s that synchronizes communication on an Ethernet network. It is followed by an 8-bit start of frame delimiter (10101011) that indicates a valid frame is about to begin. The preamble and the start of frame are not considered part of the actual frame, or calculated as part of the total frame size.

Ethernet uses the 48-bit MAC address for hardware addressing. The first 24-bits of a MAC address determine the manufacturer of the network interface, and the last 24-bits uniquely identify the host. The destination MAC address identifies who is to receive the frame - this can be a single host (a unicast), a group of hosts (a multicast), or all hosts (a broadcast). The source MAC address identifies the host originating the frame._

The 16-bit Ethertype/Length field provides a different function depending on the standard - Ethernet II or 802.3. With Ethernet II, the field identifies the type of payload in the frame (the Ethertype). However, Ethernet II is almost entirely deprecated.

With 802.3, the field identifies the length of the payload. The length of a frame is important - there is both a minimum and maximum blablabla, Jesus Christ...

I rubbed my eyes for a moment and groaning quietly, I rested my elbows on my desk, clenching my hair... The all too familiar feeling that I was going to fail creeped up on me and I knew under no circumstances was I allowed to fail this one... All of a sudden, I heard a notification sound from Skype... Looking up on my computer monitor, I noticed Sam sent me an instant message...

'Hi, hon! Whatcha doing?'

Samantha couldn't have picked a better moment to interrupt. It gave me an excuse to put the studying on hold for now. I've sent her an invitation to have a video conversation and several moments later, she accepted it. Samantha was sitting behind her desk, looking straight at her webcam, showing her lovely green eyes while having that characteristic friendly smile of hers... So we started talking once I've put my headset on.

'Hey Sam, what are you doing inside on a Friday evening?'

'Didn't felt like going out, really. I just wanted to stay home and watch a movie but there isn't anything good on TV.'

'DVD's?'

'Seen 'em all a thousand times! I pretended to be sick so that it would give me an excuse to stay indoors until I realized I've got nothing to watch.'

'Ah. You regret not going out with friends?'

'Nope, not at all. At least I got the dorm room to myself tonight so it's nice and quiet. I won't expect any of them back the next morning.'

'Hehehe... Party hard, huh?'

'Yeeeeeah... Don't know where they get the energy for that, I'm absolutely shattered.'

'It's nice to be alone once in a while though.'

'Exactly, I should've done this way sooner. But hey, the night's still young and I got myself some hot cocoa and marshmallows so it's all good.'

'It's no weather to be outside.'

'Way too cold for me. What about you?'

'Studying.'

'What are you studying?'

'CCNE.'

'CCNE? What's that?'

'Cisco Certified Network Engineer.'

'Sounds complicated.'

'It is... The final is coming up and under no circumstances am I allowed to fail this one.'

'That important?'

'Yeah... It's an additional course you get to follow but there are certainprerequisitesbefore you're even allowed to enroll in CCNE. I barely managed to pass the previous exam to get this far.'

'Why's that?'

'It's difficult.'

'No, I mean, why did you had to do other tests before you could start on this course?'

'It's mandatory that you understand a basic network infrastructure. CCNE handles the more advanced stuff. It's no use to study CCNE when you don't even know what DHCP is.'

'... Huh.'

'That and a CCNE course costs about three thousand dinar a person so they won't let anyone enroll when they can't even grasp the basics.'

'College pays for that?'

'Yes, which also includes the final. If I fail this one, I can have a resit but if I fail that as well, it's all coming out of my own pocket if I want to continue the course.'

'Suppose you can't just shake three thousand dinar out of your sleeves.'

'Sounds nice, I wish I could but no. That's why I need to ace this one, I don't feel like having a resit and I sure as hell don't want to pay three thousand dinar just to continue because it's still no guarantee that I'd pass. I just don't want to waste this opportunity, I worked my ass off to get this far.'

'I can imagine.'

'Still, if I manage to pass, I'll have a Cisco Certification which certainly would look nice on my résumé.'

'That will definitely get you a head-start once you're out on the job-market.'

'Exactly... But right now, I feel like ripping my hair out and scream in agony.'

'How long have you been studying now?'

'Three hours straight...'

'What, seriously??'

'Yeah...'

'Did you take breaks?'

'No, not really... Went downstairs to make a cup of tea if that counts for anything.'

'Hardly...'

'Hm...'

'You're really that worried about failing?'

'There's a lot at stake, I've got plenty of reasons to be worried.'

'Relax, you got this, Ceylan.'

'Sure as hell doesn't feel like that.'

'Don't strain yourself.'

'Hey, can you do me a favor, Sam?'

'Sure, what would you need me to do?'

'I've got a practice test in PDF format with answers on a particular subject I'm having a bit trouble with. I can sent it to you if you'd like.'

'To pop-quiz you?'

'Yeah? If you're not too busy?'

'And if you have all the answers right, you're gonna take a break. Deal?'

'Deal.'

'Alright, sent it over.'

The PDF file was sent over in no time despite it being quite large for a document. Probably because it had like fifty pages with multiple choice questions and certain scenarios complete with pictures and everything. Once Samantha received it, it took a moment for it to open in a PDF reader and she looked a little puzzled when she started to read those questions...

'I really don't understand any of this.'

'Hehehe...'

'Okay, where should I start?'

'On page forty three, there's a chapter called "Ipv6 Fundamentals".'

'... You want me ask you all thirty questions?'

'Yeah, in random order.'

'You're not peeking at the answers, are you?'

'Nope.'

'Alright, first question...'

'Let's hear it.'

"While trying to solve a network issue, a technician made multiple changes to the current router configuration file. The changes did not solve the problem and were not saved. What action can the technician take to discard the changes and work with the file in NVRAM?"

' Issue the reload command without saving the running configuration.'

'Correct! Question two: "A router has a valid operating system and a configuration stored in NVRAM. When the router boots up, which mode will be displayed?"

'User EXEC mode'

'Hm-mm.'

'Did I get it right?'

'Yup. On to the third: "Which devices should be secured to mitigate against MAC address spoofing attacks?"

'Uh... Layer... Layer two devices.'

'Yes.'

'Whoohoo!'

"Which PDU format is used when bits are received from the network medium by the NIC of a host?"

'Uh... Shit...'

'... Would you like to phone a friend? One who would actually understand any of this?'

'Can you eliminate two answers?'

'Both Packet and File are incorrect.'

'... Segment.'

'Is that your final answer?'

'... No wait, it's Frame.'

'Frame is your final answer?'

'Yes.'

'That's right!'

'Yeeeeeah!'

"Which protocol is responsible for controlling the size and rate of the HTTP messages exchanged between server and client?"

'Easy, that's TCP.'

'And what's TCP?'

'Transmission Control Protocol. It provides a reliable and error-checked delivery of a stream of octets between applications running on hosts communicating over an IP network.'

'That wasn't an actual question, by the way. I have no idea what TCP means but your answer still leaves me in the dark.'

'Hehehe...'

'But TCP is the correct answer! Next question: "A computer in a given network is communicating with a specific group of computers. What type of communication is this?"

'Pfffff... Uh... I know this one. It has "cast" in it.'

'Hm-mm...'

'The types of communication... Unicast, Broadcast and Multicast...'

'Communicating with a specific group of computers.'

'... Broadcast?'

'Nnnnnnooo...'

'Unicast only transmits between a client and a server soooooo... It's Multicast?'

'Yup.'

'Phew.'

Out of the thirty questions Samantha asked me, nine of them were answered incorrectly, which means if this was the final exam, I would've scored seventy percent and thus would've failed... I felt kinda shitty about it but still... It proved to be useful because I wrote down the questions I got wrong so that I could study on that particular topic instead. Nevertheless, Samantha convinced me that it was enough studying for the evening. So I closed my textbook and called it a day. I leaned on my elbows and closed my eyes, sighing quietly... After a while, I could hear her giggle quietly and when I looked up, I saw that she just kept staring at me with a smile... The moment she faced the webcam, she had such a beautiful smile on her face... It's the kind of smile of what true happiness looks like... But most importantly, it's the kind of smile that always made me smile...

Sam was always so kind and caring towards everyone, even to strangers... Sadly, I can't say the same... Samantha stood up for a girl whom I pushed away after she accidentally bumped into me in high school, back when I first met Sam... Things escalated when we started fighting and once the two of us got broken up, we were sent straight to the principals office... We both got expelled but Sam only got expelled for the rest of the day while I was expelled for a week... We started talking once we were sitting in front of the principals office, waiting for our parents to pick us up... I sure as hell didn't want to get to know her any better after that but nevertheless, she looked me up during lunch once I got back... She's the kind of girl who easily talks to people and make friends wherever she goes... And with me being as introvert as one can be, I thought it would be awful to be around someone who talks all day long... Her happy-go-lucky kind of attitude annoyed me at first... She talked to me like she knew me for years... But maybe that's why it was so easy for me to open up to Samantha, like she really cared about me... I was being skeptical at first but the more I was spending time with her, the more I noticed she's like that with everyone... She always tried to find the good in people and in everything that happens... It used to make me think she was so naive... Samantha just had a different outlook on life than I did and I couldn't have been more wrong about her... Being around her made me change and made me see things differently... Samantha is the kind of girl worth changing for... But sadly, we were never meant to be...

It stayed silent for a moment a moment as I watched her taking a sip from her hot cocoa and poking marshmallows floating around in her cup. She carefully picked one out of her cup and closed her eyes for a moment when she started chewing as a big smile appeared on her face...

'Mmmm, you have no idea what you're missing. They taste great...'

'The look on your face tells me I'm missing out on something really good.'

'Need to be careful not to eat them too much though.'

'You still work out?'

'Ha! Uhm... Noooooo... I haven't been in a gym in ages... You?'

'Same here, I'm getting a little pudgy...'

'Pudgy? You??'

'Yeeeeeah, I got a little carried away when Nikki and I broke up several months ago and I haven't been very active ever since so...'

'I see...'

'Ah well... I just need to go on, I suppose... But I'm afraid I haven't been very successful lately in doing so...'

'Have you thought about, you know... Seeing other girls?'

'I have, yes but uhm... With everything that's been going on lately, I haven't exactly managed to put it all behind me... Instead, I'm just getting caught up in everything once more...'

'You mentioned that you still see Nikki...'

'Yeah, but it's not like that... I mean, I just check in on her to see if she hasn't killed herself... But in all honesty, I just want to put it all behind me... I'm just so tired of everything...'

'I can understand...'

'I mean, I try to move on but... Seeing her prevents me from doing so but I can't abandon her now that she's going through difficult times... But once she has her life back on track and she's doing well, I'll be gone out of her life and never go back...'

'Is that how you really feel about her?'

'Yes...'

'Sometimes it's best to keep certain people out of your life, no matter how harsh that may sound.'

'I'd like to think that... But Nikki... I can't be around her and I can't stay away from her... I mean... Would that be selfish of me if I did...? To think of myself instead...?'

'No... Not after everything you've done for her... And I can understand why you would do that...'

'I often wonder if she'd do the same for me if I found myself in her situation and I know she wouldn't... And it actually makes me wonder why I still go through with it...'

'You're not alone in all this... It shouldn't all come down to you...'

'I know... But as long as Nikki is in the picture, I just feel like I can't move on...'

'You have to... Go out, meet new people, go on dates... Set your mind on other things...'

'I know...'

I sighed quietly and took a sip from my cup of tea... Teabag was infused for too long which made it taste rather strong but nevertheless, I chugged it down quickly... I closed my eyes for a moment and sighed quietly again while Samantha was just staring at her screen...

'I'm just so sick of all this, Sam... It feels like I'm way too caught up in everything... I know I've played my part but enough is enough... I just want to get away from everything...'

'She's just going through rough times right now... Nikki needs time...'

'It's been well over a year, Sam... How long is this suppose to go on...?'

'I know but... What she experienced throughout her life is a lot more than she lets you in on...'

'Heh...'

'Question is, what drove her to have suicidal thoughts?'

'Your guess is just good as mine...'

'Exactly... Most people who have suicidal thoughts don't actually want to die. They just want the pain to stop. And sometimes, it's a cry for attention...'

'Meagan said she came from a broken home but that's all she knows... I can't imagine what could've happened to her that made her snap like this...'

'This isn't just coming out of the blue, you know... Whatever it is she's carrying with her, it's been on her mind for years... All these years of pent up emotions and then something happened that finally sent her right over the edge...'

'If only I knew...'

'And maybe one day, you will... Don't give up on her because for all you know, you might be the only reason why she hasn't gone through with it...'

'Perhaps...'

'So keep doing what you're doing because it's the only thing you can do if you really want to help her out...'

'But it's affecting me too, I mean... It's so difficult for me to see her like this and it makes me feel so powerless... And I sometimes feel like slapping her face real fucking hard, to tell her to get her shit together and act normal... Enough is enough...'

'You know there's a whole lot more going with her... Things you don't know...'

'And that's why it's so difficult... I mean, I want her to be okay and I want to help her but it feels like I'm not getting anywhere and it's driving me insane... I just don't know what to do anymore...'

'Make a new start.'

'How?'

'You two are focusing on how things used to be, focusing too much on the fights you've had and how it got from bad to worse. You keep talking about where it went wrong between the two of you but what you need to do is focus on how to make it right again...'

'It's not so easy, Sam...'

'I know... But if you really wanna help her, you'll need to be the friend to whom she can count on... Not the bickering ex who keeps reminding her of her past mistakes...'

'Heh...'

'Focus on getting to know her again and help her set her mind on other things... But you need to make clear that the feelings you've had for each other are in the past and that you both need to move on... Nikki seems willing to do so if she still lets you in on her life... You both just have to find a way to make it work...'

'A clean start...?'

'Yes, if you will... You're doing everything you can to help but she needs professional help... All you can do is to support her wherever you can... But that should never stop you from moving on... Nikki needs to know that you have to move on...'

I nodded quietly and sighed once more as I stared outside the window for a moment... I just couldn´t think straight... Sometimes I just felt like giving up and break off any form of contact with them... But even if I did, I know I couldn´t live with myself if did... I couldn´t stay away from Nikki and I couldn´t be around her... I got myself in a difficult position before... And now I got myself in a difficult position again... I just had no idea how to get out of it this time...

'You and I never had any of this, Sam...'

'Heh...'

'We knew what we wanted from each other, right...? And nothing was ever complicated... But I just can't help to wonder how things could've been between us if you hadn't left...'

'Ceylan...'

'N-No, I just... I don't blame you for leaving... You had an opportunity of a life-time by going to university... But you were the only girl who made me truly happy... What happened between us is something I still think of... And I miss you, now more than ever...'

'Heh...'

'** You always knew how to say the right things, even if the feelings were never mutual...'**

'What do you want me to say, Ceylan...? It's a phase I was going through... That's all it ever was to me... And I know I can never have feelings for a woman the way that you do...'

'I know...'

'Still... I don't regret a thing...'

'Me neither... But ever since you've left, there's something missing and I didn't know what it was until recently... I just wish it could've been so much more between us...'

'I don't know what to say, Ceylan...'

'I know you never cherished feelings for women the way I do but... Sometimes it just felt more to me than that whenever we were seeing each other...'

'Heh...'

'With everything that's been going on the past year, I long back to those days I've spend with you... You always made me feel so carefree and you always stood by me, something that Nikki never did... The thing is, even though the feelings weren't mutual, you did more for me than my ex-girlfriend ever did... And that means a lot to me... More than you could ever possibly know...'

'I don't know how things will be if I come back to Ravello... I just hope you won't hold it against me if it turns out to be any different than you had in mind...'

'As long as you're around...'

'I will...'

It stayed quiet for another while as Samantha kept staring down at her cup of hot cocoa as I just kept watching her... She didn't really seem to enjoy her hot cocoa anymore... And I could she that was carried away in thoughts... But after a while, she broke the silence...

'I never wanted to hurt your feelings over this... But you still seem to be...'

'I know you didn't...'

'We were just teens, Ceylan... Curious about each other... Except it wasn't a phase for you...'

'Remember that night where you first told me about it...?'

'I do... At the park at night, after we worked out at the gym...'

'What made you ask me...?'

'What do you mean?'

'When you asked if you could kiss me... What made you ask me...?'

'Hehe... Well, you did say it wasn't any different than kissing a guy when I asked you what it was like to kiss a girl...'

'But why me when you could've asked so many other girls...?'

'You seemed confident about it, like you knew what you were talking about... It didn't seem like it was a taboo to you... You didn't judge me for feeling that way... That's what made me trust you...'

'Was that with everything...?'

'Yes... I just wanted more after that... And that's exactly what I got...'

'Do you still think about it...?'

'Hihi... Yes... Yes, I do...'

'Hmm...'

'I mean, our first time together happened so unexpected but uhm... A lot of things happened for the first time for me that night...'

'Was it everything you expected it to be...?'

'More or less...'

'What do you mean...?'

'I didn't expect it to happen in the women's locker-room of the gym, just before closure when no one was around... So yeah...'

'Hehehe...'

'I mean, everything happened for the first time... First time with a girl, first time in a public place and well...'

'Go on...'

'First time I ever got the big O while someone was eating me out...'

'Really??'

'Yeeeeeeah... Hihi, yes... That was so awesome... Quite the exhilarating experience...'

'But you seemed pretty distraught afterwards...'

'I just went along with it... Gave in to something I was so curious about... But the questions came afterwards though... We talked about it and worked things out... But a part of me kept feeling guilty to keep having sex with you, knowing you had feelings for me while it wasn't mutual...'

'It's what I wanted...'

'Yeah... It's what you wanted... In fact, it's something we both wanted...'

'Can I ask you something...?'

'Sure...'

'Why'd you do it then...? I mean, why did we keep having sex if it made you feel guilty about my feelings...?'

Samantha sighed quietly while she poked some marshmallows around in her cup, thinking of an answer that she could give me... Once she took a sip from her cup of cocoa, she averted her eyes for a moment... But once she faced her computer monitor again, she started talking...

'In all honesty...?'

'Yes...?'

'I didn't want to at first... But our first time together... It was just so overwhelming...'

'Hm-mm...'

'That's why I was little distraught... I wanted more but knowing you had feelings for me... I knew I'd hurt your feelings if we kept doing it...'

'We all sometimes do things for all the right reasons, even though it may feel wrong...'

'Exactly... Having sex with you in itself wasn't wrong to me but it was wrong to keep doing it, just to satisfy my own curiosity... I felt that i made you believe it was something else...'

'Yeah, but we talked about it, didn't we...? It's what we both wanted from each other...'

'Hm-mm... But I just never managed to shake off the idea that somehow, somewhere, you still had feelings for me... And that I kept hurting you over and over again every time we did...'

'What makes you say that...?'

'Heh... You really wanna know...?'

'Yes...?'

'It's the way you treated me...'

'How so...?'

'Every night I've spend with you was wonderful yet I just couldn't help to feel guilty afterwards... It felt like I was exploiting you, to take advantage of your feelings for me, just so that you would keep having sex with me... But everything you did, every night we've spend together was more passionate than I've ever imagined... You were passionate about everything you did to me... And that's why I kept coming back to you, simply because I wanted more, even if that meant I had to hurt your feelings...'

'Heh...'

'And then one day, we had to say goodbye...'

'Heh...'

'You had tears in your eyes that day and it just tore me up... That's when I realized your feelings for me never left, even though you said otherwise...'

'Is that why we haven't talked about it ever since...?'

'I figured we'd forget about it eventually... But even now, four years later, I still think about the times we've spend together...'

'Was there ever another girl in your life after you moved to campus...?'

'I fooled around with my roommate for a while once I got to know her well enough... But it never was quite like anything the way you and I have been... In all honesty, no one has ever really lived up to you... No one ever made me feel the way that you did ever since...'

'Not even David...?'

'... No. Not even David...'

'Wow...'

It stayed silent for a moment as Samantha got hold of another marshmallow and started to eat... But they didn't really seem that delicious to her anymore... She got carried away in thoughts when she kept averting her eyes and sighing quietly...

'How come we never talked about this before, Sam...?'

'Would it really matter if we did...? I'm here now, six hundred kilometers away from you... I thought that by moving on and finding someone else would eventually made me get over you...'

'But you never had feelings for me...'

'Heh...'

'Did you...?'

'What I'm feeling right now with David is something that doesn't even come close to whatever it was that I was feeling every time I was with you... You showed your feelings for me every night we've spend together...'

'I see...'

'And it's something that's never been off of my mind ever since...'

It stayed silent for another while again as Samantha rubbed her eyes for a moment... She closed her eyes when she took a sip from her hot cocoa and had a weak smile on her face...

'I've been thinking about coming back to Ravello during spring-break...'

'Really??'

'Yes...'

'That would be great... I'd love to see you again, it's been so long...'

'Exactly...'

'How long are you planning to stay?'

'A week, maybe... Shouldn't be too hard to find a motel or something...'

'A motel?'

'Yeah?'

'You know there's always a place for you here...'

'I know...'

'Remember what Simon and Catherine said when you said goodbye to them...?'

'That I'm always welcome to stay...'

'Yes...'

'Heh...'

'... But you don't think it's a good idea. Because of us...'

'It's not like that, Ceylan...'

'There's more to it, isn't it...? Why you want to come back...?'

"Oh geez... I shouldn't have asked that..." Samantha bit her lip and closed her eyes for a moment... Once she took a deep breath and sighed quietly, the tears were rolling down her face...

'Hey, what's wrong...? Why are you crying...?'

'I just... I miss home... I miss my friends and family and I miss you... Ever since I moved to campus, the only thing I get to do is to work and to study... And I thought that by meeting new people, things would come around but... I feel so lonely out here... Like I just don't belong here...'

'You worked so hard to get where you are today... You of all people deserve to be there...'

'I suppose but... During spring-break, I visit relatives and family and stay there for a couple of weeks... All of my other free time, I've been either working or spend time with David...'

'What are you afraid of, Sam...?'

'Everything changed here, even with David... I just need to get away... But I'm afraid that it'll be no different if I come back... I haven't seen you and Blain in four years and, well...'

'It never stopped us from keeping in touch... No matter the distance...'

'I know but... I have no idea how things will be if I would come back... And how things will be between us...'

"Karachjed semma apa itu, tuar apa kitang..."

'What does that mean...?'

'Whatever happens will happen...'

'Heh...'

'Besides, you honestly think Blain and I will change? We're still as immature as we were four years ago. He still claims that I'm twice the man he is and I still drop him like a sack of potatoes whenever we're sparring against each other so it's all good here.'

'Hehehe...'

'I'm not expecting anything from you if you do stay over at my place... You know I won't think any different of you either way...'

'Whatever happens will happen...'

'Exactly... But still...'

'Hm...?'

'I wish you were here...'

Samantha wiped her eyes for a moment and smiled after that... She took a sip from her hot cocoa and then everything was fine again...

Samantha felt lonely on campus and I could imagine she would... She left everyone and everything behind when she moved to campus on Stenden University and I can't imagine how difficult of a decision it was for her... I know wouldn't want to make that choice... But she's the kind of girl who could easily make friends with people and I always figured it wouldn't have been too hard for her to blend in... Of course she'd have friends and people to be around with... She just didn't want to create a strong bond with any of them because she'd know that one day, she'll need to say goodbye to them... And it was hard for her the first time she had to, let alone doing it again... It might sound strange for a peoples-person to keep friends at a distance but I can understand why she did... Hell, I used to do that for the exact same reason until I fell in love with someone... But when Samantha noticed that David started to distance himself from her, that's when she realized how lonely she felt... She's homesick and wants to go back home, to her own friends who would never abandon her... But what if her friends changed in the four years of her absence to the point that nothing would feel familiar...? Would they have all moved on...? Sure they did, no one can stand still for four years... But that wasn't the only thing...

Samantha and I had something special going on back when we were teens... Being curious and discovering each other... I'm sure every young female ever felt that way... But not everyone act on those feelings... Sam and I however, did, which was a wonderful experience every time it happened... But now, she has a boyfriend, who has been distant with her for a while now... And Samantha has the need to be around people that love her... It's just in her nature to feel loved... If David wasn't gonna make her feel that way anymore, someone else had to... She was confused and scared again, just like she was back when we were teens... And I always gave her the choice on whether or not she wanted to act on her feelings for me... What we had together was love, except it was a different kind of love than most people would imagine... In the end, all that mattered was how we could make each other feel whenever it happened... But it suddenly stopped when she moved to university... And the two of us never really stopped thinking about each other, even now, four years later... Time would only tell if it would come back or not... And even though my feelings for her were never mutual, deep down inside, I hoped to get back what the heart once owned...