FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

Alrighty, a new chapter of the world beyond for your enjoyment. Hope you enjoy it.

As always comments are appreciated and requested.

---

Contined from "A world apart..."

Smiling to myself, I walked on through the swirling snowfall. I had always had mixed feelings about winter. On the one hand, it gave everything a unique beauty, shimmering coatings of ice on the branches of trees and bushes that twinkled in the weak sunshine as I passed. And, if one could actually get up into the mountains, no easy task this time of year, the world became utterly silent, save for the wind that stirred needle and branch, and it was the most peaceful time of year. And at night...At night the moonlight and starlight revealed an almost eerie beauty within the world. But on the other hand, the cold temperatures made just about everyone miserable, and the blinding blizzards made it hard to get anywhere. But this year, I felt different; this year nothing could get me down, no matter what happened. Scott, my best friend, spoke suddenly from where he plodded along beside me, his voice muffled by a long scarf wrapped over his face.

"Man, I hate this weather." He said, panting. Already the snow was up to our thighs, and it showed no sign of letting up any time soon. He continued to speak, his voice rising in wroth as the wind picked up once more, scything its way into the cracks between our clothing, chilling the flesh beneath. "I hate the snow, I hate the cold, and most of all, I hate having to go to class in it!!"

"That, unfortunately, is one of the hazards of going to school in this state." I replied, unable to keep contentment out of my voice. "They don't close anything come Hell or high water."

"Or Hell freezing over, apparently." Scott replied dryly. "I don't know how you can be so happy slogging to class in a blizzard like this."

"Its just a matter of having a positive outlook." I replied, pausing for a moment to deduce which way we needed to go through the blinding snow. I couldn't help but smile beneath my woolen muffler as I thought about the real reason I was unable to be unhappy. I had a way out of here, a way to return to the heat and sunshine of summer. And, I had the thought of cuddling up to warm furry bodies to keep me warm, even on days like today when many people would be staying in bed. Only the truly dedicated ventured out into the snow to get to class.

Still, my private world, my true sanctuary, was a gift I cherished above anything else. It was something I had gone to great lengths to conceal. I had had to have been especially careful since Scott and I had moved up to the dorms on campus a semester ago. I couldn't chance anyone seeing me vanish into a mirror, so I had come up with a plan that had worked pretty well so far. I would tell everyone that I was going to go home for the weekend, then I would wait until I was alone. The moment I was by myself, I would open up my closet, with its full length mirror, and then I would allow myself to be pulled through it by my reflection. But even as I thought that, a moment of sadness and of longing came back into my mind. Every time I went to that wonderful place, with its perfect companions, it got harder and harder to leave. It had gotten to the point where, when I was there, all I wanted to do was remain in their company, never returning to the real world. But, like an addict, though I knew how hard it would be to leave every time I went there, I came back every time I had a day off.

And, what was more, I knew that my time there was limited. In my sanctuary, the same long, comfortable days of summer never ended, one leading straight on into the next in a never ending cycle. But despite that, in the end, I had to return to the real world before someone realized I was missing. But, it wasn't like my furry companions helped the feeling in the slightest. Over the months since the first day I had spent there, more of my favorite characters had appeared in the house. At present there were nine of them, four women, four men, and one herm (a character I had created just for some variety), all of different species. All of them were the best company to have around, and all of them had become my lovers, though none came close to the relationship I had with the tiger woman and the white wolf. Though I loved all of them, those two were something special, very special, though I did not really know why. I knew I loved them more deeply than I loved anything or anyone ever.

"Hey, pay attention will you?" Scott complained, catching me as I stumbled on the hidden curb, nearly toppling into a nearby snow drift.

"Oops, sorry." I replied, returning my thoughts to the present. And then, ahead of us, looming out of the blowing snow, was our destination. Wading through the ever mounting drifts, we worked together to open the door, stepping inside amid a blast of hot air from the building's heating vents. Panting from the exertion of walking in the snow, we quickly took off our snow gear, stomping our feet to shake off the layer of snow that clung to us. Shaking ourselves, we joined the line of other freshman queuing up to enter our lecture hall. As we walked, I glanced over at Scott and noticed for the first time that he did not look like he normally did. His face always seemed eternally joyful, even when he was feeling down. But now, he looked troubled, and preoccupied. Granted, like every other student in line, his face was red, windblown and raw from the cold. But this went deeper than just the weather conditions. When we passed into the lecture hall and took seats in the middle of the classroom, I finally spoke, dragging my notes out of my backpack. "You okay?"

"Sure, why wouldn't I be?" he questioned, the joyful look coming back into his face. But the joy stopped before it reached his eyes.

"Is there something on your mind?" I persisted, digging for a mechanical pencil in one of the outer pockets of my pack. "You can tell me what it is, you know."

"No, its nothing." He insisted and I shrugged, looking up as the professor entered the room. I knew him well enough to know that whatever it was, he wouldn't tell me any time soon. He was one who tended to keep his problems to himself, no matter what it was. But, whatever it was that was bothering him, it must have been important, because even as the professor began his lecture, I noticed that Scott was only half listening to him. He was staring forward as if he was being attentive, but I noticed that he was staring off into space, missing several of the key concepts. I shrugged once more, making sure to take good notes, since he would no doubt be wanting to copy mine later. It was something we had often done throughout high school and the ritual didn't bother us very much. And yet, I found it hard to concentrate today too. The permanent warmth of my world was far too attractive this time of year, and the lonely feeling that I always got when I wasn't in my world was far stronger because of it. It was a constant battle not to give into it, and to stay focused. Of course, it didn't help that our teacher was one of the most boring teachers on the planet. He had a tendency to get off on meaningless tangents, rambling on and on before suddenly coming back to the topic at hand. His voice also sounded vaguely like the droning of a vacuum cleaner.

Sighing, I rubbed at my eyes and tried to focus on what the professor was saying, but he was off on another random tangent, rambling about some chemical he was working on in his lab or some such. Sighing, I crossed my arms and lay my chin on them. The classroom was warm, and the cold leaving my body had an interesting effect. I began to feel drowsy, the teacher's droning voice more effective than a lullaby. I tried to fight it, tried to force my mind back into gear, but it was like sinking into quicksand. The more I struggled, the harder it seemed to drag me down. Yawning broadly, I started to close my eyes, almost ready to surrender to the spell. But then, I was suddenly wide awake. Across the classroom, sitting in one of the chairs by the door was my wolfish reflection. Sitting up straight once more, I rubbed my eyes and looked again. The chair was empty, the student who usually sat there no doubt enjoying a morning in bed rather than being in class.

Shaking my head, I refocused on the teacher, barely managing to maintain enough interest to get the gist of what he was supposed to be teaching us. When the class ended at last, I rose from my seat gratefully, stuffing my notes back into my satchel and walking out of the room, Scott close behind. Looking at all the vacant expressions on the way out, I knew I wasn't the only one who had nearly succumbed to sleep. Thankfully, it was Friday, and we had only one other class today, then I could slog home and vanish into the summer heat. But even as I smiled at the thought once more, we came to the doors leading outside and we joined the throng of students bundling up against the snow. While we had been in the classroom, it appeared to have stopped blizzarding, and the weak winter sun was shining down on the snow. Shaking my head, I pulled on my muffler once more, this time sliding on a pair of sunglasses between hat and muffler, even the weak sunlight enough to be blinding with the freshly fallen white snow. We walked out into the cold once more and onward towards our next class. But while we walked, I noticed that Scott's eyes were on the ground and that he really wasn't paying attention to where he was going.

"Scott, are you sure you are okay?" I asked, looking at him with concern. He looked up at me and nodded.

"I'm sure." He replied, readjusting his backpack.

"Alright, well if you need to talk," I said, returning my gaze to the snow covered campus. "I am willing to listen."

"Thanks." He replied softly. As we walked and the cold air chased the last of the drowsiness from my mind, I turned my thoughts back to the image I thought I had seen. I could have sworn that I saw my wolf half sitting in the classroom, but that wasn't possible. The wolf was the reflection of my inner self, or so he said, and if that was true, then he couldn't be here. Only in the other world could he exist outside of myself. And what's more, he hadn't been paying me the slightest bit of attention. That thought struck me as especially self-centered, even to me, but I had to believe that if he really had been there, he would have at least acknowledged me. I pondered the problem all the way to our next class. By the time we had sat down once more, I decided that I must have dosed off for a few seconds and dreamed that I had seen him. But, as I focused my attention on the professor again, I got the feeling that even that sensible explanation wasn't right...

***

"Hey." Scott said, coming into our dorm room from the hall, his face downcast, shutting the door behind him.

"Hey, what's up?" I questioned, looking up from the novel I had been reading. I was currently lying sprawled on my bunk, waiting for my chance to slip out of this world.

"Earlier, you said that if I wanted to talk, you would be willing to listen." He began and I nodded, closing the book around the bookmark and setting it aside before sitting up. "Well, I thought about it, and I decided that need to talk to someone."

"Ok, have a seat." I said, indicating the edge of my bed. "What is it that has been on your mind so much recently?"

"I never did tell you about my family, did I?" He asked, seating himself at the foot of the bed and looking down at the floor.

"It hasn't come up, no." I replied and he nodded, taking a deep breath.

"Well, since you have been my best friend for years, I guess I should have told you this a while ago." he said, "You know that my parents had me late in their lives, and that my oldest brother was a senior in college when I was eight." I nodded in confirmation; he had told me all this before. "Well, what I didn't tell you, is the reason why I never had you over when we were younger. My parents and almost all my siblings were killed in a car accident when I was ten. My older brother was the only one left, having been away at college at the time, and he took care of me the best he could, but it was a strain he wasn't ready for. I had a lot of trouble adjusting and I soon found myself to be something of an outcast. I had no friends, and that led me to seek new things. It was through that that I became a furry, and that I met you and our friends." Again, that was old news, at least the part about how we had become friends. "Its odd, I haven't even told anyone about this before. I suppose I feel comfortable telling you all this because I have always considered you to be more like a brother than a friend." I was surprised at that. He had been a close friend for years, but I had no idea he considered me that good of a friend. "Well, for a while, being a furry made everything alright. I was able to forget that I was basically an orphan since I belonged to the furry community. But lately, I have realized that it isn't enough anymore. I need something other than fantasies to comfort me. And, since coming up here to college, I have become more and more aware of just how alone I really am." He fell silent for a little while and I stared at him with concern. His usually happy expression was wholly serious and I knew he meant every word he had said. He wasn't crying, or even showing the slightest hint of emotion beyond a sad look in his eyes. After a few more moments of silence, he let out a breath he seemed to have been holding then looked over at me, smiling at last. "You know I don't like burdening anyone else with my problems, but it feels better to have told someone about it at least. Thanks for listening man."

"Any time." I replied, trying to get my head around everything he had said. He continued to smile and slugged my shoulder lightly.

"Anyway, enjoy your weekend man, I will see you when you get back." He said, getting up and heading for the door once more. When he stepped out of the room, he gave a wave and walked off down the hall, leaving me to sit in silence, considering everything he had said. Despite everything he had told me, it was clear from the way he looked that it wasn't the only thing that was bothering him. And that was a little disturbing. What could be worse than the memory of having lost his entire family?

But, something else he had said also rang in my mind, though the reasoning in my own mind that was behind it surprised me. He had said that he considered me to be his brother, and I supposed that I felt the same way about him. And that meant that he was family, and I had always been taught to do all I could to help my family. But this was something I didn't know how to help. How could one replace a family? I sat for a few minutes considering it, before an idea slowly worked its way into my head. He had said that he needed something more than fantasies to sustain him. And my greatest fantasies had become reality to me, hidden by only the thin veil of a mirror...

Grinning broadly, I got up and headed over to the closet, pulling open the door and finding my familiar wolfish reflection standing there, grinning at me. Smiling in reply, I placed my hand on the mirror. As before, the wolf reached out to me, and the mirror rippled as if it had suddenly become a liquid, his warm, white furred hand coming through the glass and clamping around my wrist. For a moment, we paused that way, linking arms at the wrist. But then, a moment later, he pulled and I was yanked into the void once more. I was ready for the cold, lonely sensation once more, since I knew what awaited me beyond it. And then, all at once, my reflection caught me, holding me while I shivered in the sudden warmth. Grinning, we embraced each other, sharing a tender kiss. The warmth of my lover's body against me was a comfort that almost made me forget my troubles totally, almost. When we released each other, he handed me a folded blue robe and I quickly changed my clothes, considering the wild idea I had had from every angle. My reflection noticed this and cocked his head to the side as I tied the robe closed.

"Something on your mind?" He asked, walking with me out of the perfect bedroom and down the hall towards the living room.

"Yes, but I am not sure I can explain it yet." I replied. I had to wonder if it was even possible to do what I was considering. And yet, if this world had been born from my mind, why wouldn't it be, if I wanted it? Shaking my head, I looked up and smiled when I heard the familiar sounds of a Halo 3 death match coming from the living room on the floor below. My reflection led the way down the stairs and around the corner and my smile became suddenly broad once more. All of my companions sat around the living room, four of them with controllers in their hands, the others cheering on their teammates, their robes spanning the spectrum of colors. It looked like a battle of the genders was in progress, with the girls teamed up against the guys. From the sounds coming from the kitchen, I guessed my herm companion was on a snack run, which made sense. Since she was technically between genders, she didn't really belong to either side. Besides, she was also one hell of a cook.

When my friends saw me coming, they all called greetings and I sat down on a couch beside the female tiger, filing my thoughts away for the moment. I could think about it later. Right now, I had a battle to participate in. Since I could join the male side, when the herm came back from the kitchen, she could join the females. Smiling, I picked up a controller and accessed my profile. This was always fun...