FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

Now, just bring the tapes up over the sides and you're done."

"like this?

"tighter.. there you go. Last thing you want is her leaking all over the place. The clean up is bad, their crying is worse. I almost wish she was fussier so you could get some practice on how most of the t.g.r.t patients will be acting...

Miss Inuri was instructing Rebeca's on the finer points of changing a diaper, mine unfortunately. I was lightly buckled onto a padded surface, staring up at their faces hanging over me and talking over my head like they were playing dress-up with a doll. I huffed and obliged her wish by kicking my legs up in the air a little.

"I said almost hon" the nurse's fingers were wide, plump, but surprisingly deft at tickling along my ribs "But learn one thing at a time. Baby, then a fussy baby, then baby with a big bushy tail, then a fussy baby with a big bushy tail" My squirming and kicking was accompanied by some wild giggling for a few seconds before I was out of breath and she let up, picking me up into her arms before sitting down in the rocking chair with me ensconced in her lap, offering no resistance when she gently placed my head against her chest. With my entire body supported I let out a contented sigh and wriggled into place, fitting against her as if she'd been made to hold me like that, which I suppose she had in a sense.

"H..she IS taking this" Rebeca hastily took a deep drink from her cocoa " rather well. So, what got her so upset before? Did I do something wrong?"

"Well, nice thing about the regressed as opposed to other babies, you can ask" She said, pressing the typing sphere into my paws . "Little harder with the kin though, but not much" I wriggled in closer and hid my face with my tail.

"Come on sweetie.Rebecca's worried she did something wrong. You don't want her thinking that do you?"

I shifted as little as i could.. it was a VERY comfortable seat after all. The ball expanded and typed out with my hands typing out -wasnt her. Embarassing. Don't want to talk-

"Mmhmmms... come on sweetie. We're all girls here. Not that I think holding things in is good for anyone, but girls tell each other everything, come on." Miss Rebecca opened her mouth and shut it at a look from Miss Inuri.

-I liked it. It was warm and cozy and she was being so nice to me and i don't want to like it but i couldn't stop and this stupid girl brain made me like it and then wouldn't let me stop crying- I was hitting the sphere hard enough towards the end that it was blinking red in warning and shrinking in on itself a little. I bopped it up in the air and let it float overhead

" And you think things would be different if you still had an outy down there? Or even if you were still a grown up?" Turning my snout up in a huff answered Miss Inuri better than I could manage on the sphere, at least without teaching Rebecca a few new words " Hon, you're separated from your family, had people say some very mean things about you, and if I'm not mistaken are more than a little upset at hurting someone. Are you going to tell me you weren't crying, even a little, when you were big and a boy?

I pictured myself, my real self, sitting in a ridiculous hospital gown chained to a bed and bawling. The little girl's body I was in curled in on itself and hid a blush behind a ridiculously voluminous tail rather than trying to come up with a fib that wouldn't have fooled anyone.

"That's what I thought" she cupped my chin in both hands, fingers under my ears and rubbing gently. "Hon, anyone would be sad in your situation. Being sad when things are rough is just part of being alive. Crying just makes you a person, not a boy, not a girl, just a person.".

I was shallow breath in "not going " breath in to fall for for that canned." in in in pap. I...

A long piteous whine escaped my muzzle despite my feeble efforts to hold it in. Instead of dying off it developed into a high pitched barkhowl, a yowling cacophony bouncing off the walls and reverberating down the halls as I emptied my lungs of air and myself of pain, fear, anger, frustration embarrassment... and far more emotions than anyone should ever have to feel at once.

"I wan.i wanmymommy" I blurted out in between some of the less chest wracking sobs before descending into some more incoherent bawling. I had no idea where that came from and even less idea how to stop myself from crying. Miss Inuri did though, and just kept rocking me back and forth, rubbing my back. "Shhh shh shhhh... we'll get you to her as soon as we can, alright sweetie?" Tears, snot, growls and feelings drained out of me, leaving me whimpering in her arms limp as a rag doll, letting her wipe goo from my face. "Rebecca sweetie, go see if you can get a bottle of hot cocoa from the desk."

By the time she got back I was lying belly up in Miss Inuri's lap being rocked. "Feels better to let it all out doesn't it?" I nodded, the hollow ache in the pit of my stomach was certainly an improvement. "That was a very big step sweetie. We really are here to help you hon. Just relax, and listen and let us take care of things. Everything's going to be fine, I promise"

She put the nipple of the bottle just out of reach of my lips and told me to drink, rewarding me with a pet to the ears when I lifted my head to do so. "That's a good girl. A very good girl." The empty pit in my center filling with physical and emotional warmth as I drank in the cocoa , gentle words, and loving hugs with equal gusto while resting my head against her.

"I didn't know she had all that in her" Miss Rebeca whispered "makes me feel sorry for her, even if..."

The nurse chuckled "I don't think she did either, which is the point of getting it all out" " her hand rubbed up down my belly, its reassuring presence making it hard to concentrate on the grown ups talking. "That was probably the nicest thing an involuntary t.g.r.t. patient had to say about girls. Ever.

"Still, you'd wonder how sixty five percent of us function at all if we were really that emotional.

"Well, I haven't gone around the other way myself. I suppose we'll have to ask her in a few decades. She'll be the little expert by then"

I was going to be mad at that

As soon as i finished the last of the cocoa.

"If this is taking it well, what's it normally like?" Miss Rebeca asked, taking up her stylus pad, and adjusting her glasses a little.

"A lot of cursing, screaming, kicking and biting whether they have teeth or not. I thought I'd start you on an easy one before letting you tackle one of those.

"Thanks.. I think. So what makes our little angel here so different?" Miss Rebeca smiled at me and gave me a pet to the ears, which almost made up for taking the already empty bottle away from me.

"Well, She's hardly unique. Involuntaries that don't hate women, have good female role models in their life tend to handle it better. You read that she grew up the first time in a very stable home. Kin are less sexually dimorphic than humans, especially the older military grade bloodlines, both physically and mentally, so she really doesn't have anything to worry about about being all that different" I got a kiss to my forehead and a gentle hug around the ribs to let me know that was for my own erudition as well as the interns. "The Iemoto believes in a minimalist approach to making the brain match the body. A few instincts, a couple of mirror neurons, nothing that would be noticed next to the prefrontal cortex adjustment of childhood. So patients here wake up feeling more or less themselves to different degrees, depending on the doctor. You'll definitely want to see who's work you're looking at before you worry. Dr. Sulislaws makes the biggest changes of any of the doctors here, and his tend to be a little out of sorts and lethargic for a while. Dr. Bernard makes the least.

"He's also done a fair bit of immersive therapy with her while she was still in the vat, so she has a head start on her talk therapy already. Because of a few conditions of the patient prior to regression she's had an experimental dopamine re-uptake inhibitor response linked with her ears" I had a wha...mmmmm. The demonstration was definitely better than the explanation "It feels extra good when someone rubs your ears. Don't ask me why it seems to work on your tail as well though. She also didn't used to like being touched, so liking it now must be a pleasant experience for her on a number of levels, physically, emotional support, reassurance that she's a good girl after the courts said she was a very bad one...

"Oh...." what I could see of Miss Rebecca's notes was starting to look like a complicated crashball play. "With all that going on how do you possibly tell what's working? Half of it could be cupping therapy or crystals or worse, trepanning?.

"Lots of data, complicated statistics, opinion, funding, yelling, opinions about funding

Miss Rebeca gave a little laugh, and paused when the nurse didn't join in. "You're serious! How can we trust people lives to something so unscientific!

"Not much choice really. Everyone's different, mind, brain, body, experiences in ways you can't fully predict. It leaves enough uncertainty in it for people to see what they want to see. Unless you're a doctor, run the hospital or Goodness forbid a politician, it doesn't matter "Whether you believe in a light touch, a conformist model, or even doing this sort of thing at all everything that's not in your hands" she gave me a little bounce "is out of it's out of your hands. You have to give them what help you can, try to make this a positive experience for them, play up the good aspects of being a girl. They're expecting love, attention, rainbow sunshine and pretty pony's.

"Oh they can't really think that's what it's like" Miss Rebeca saw me hiding my face behind my tail and put her hands on her hips.

With a chuckle, the older nurse brought my tail down and gave me a reassuring pat to my ears and a kiss to the nose. "Oh I'm certain they're exaggerating. They're not entirely wrong though. People coo and fuss over little girls, tell them how pretty they are, pet them, cuddle them, give them pretty things and treat them very gently" she spoke very softly into my ear, ran a paw down my ears, back, and tail, and then started petting the backside of my hand, all while rocking me slowly. "People are nicer to them, so they act sweeter, so people are nicer , so they act sweeter... down and down they go" big, strong, sure hands shifted me a little in her lap to put me on my back, gazing up at both of the other girls with a big dopey grin on my muzzle. "it's what they want, it's what they need, so it's what they get" and punctuated the lesson with a smooch to my nose.

"See? I can tell it's working already, the statisticians saying it has an effect down the line might be lying, but you can't tell me this isn't real"

" Well.. yes. It's definitely working with her. That is too much cute to fake." a light went off on her glasses "Ooo, I'm going to be late" Miss Rebeca said, looking at the baby monitor and starting to grab her datapad. She awwwed at me and paused to rub my belly up and down a little and added yet another kiss to my nose.

"fank oo miss Rebecha!" I managed to get out of my muzzle without having to fake the tail wag.

"Aww. You're welcome sweetie. You didn't even need to remind her.

"See? It's a positive feedback loop. A little kindness given gets a little kindness that gives a little kindness" She set her hand under my padded rump and lifted me up against her, putting my chin over her shoulder and rubbing my back. "I'll walk you out. Some one's got some training to start.