Entry 15
#15 of Diary of an Awkward Youth
Dear Diary,
So it's been four days and I haven't written anything, sorry for that but it's been a wild weekend. So lets start by saying: My brother is gay! He actually admitted that to me, which confuses me a little.. I mean, I guess it's still fine when he's with me, we both know I'm a boy still, but he says the idea of being with a girl makes him cringe. Maybe it's not the physical aspect of it? I don't know. As for me, I guess I sort of am too, though I'm still honestly attracted to girls too, so I guess that makes me Bi. Now, we started thinking about this when Aaron brought it up, how he's gay and has been out of the closet now for about a year; aid his dad freaked the fuck out about it and disowned him too.
We were hanging out down by the creek Saturday and he just sort of, brought it up. It was sort of amusing at first, but then we all got to talking and it got really philosophical on us, talking about things like: How people are so sure that they're gay or strait, even if they've never tried it either way or how society messes with people so badly that even those who should be proud of who they are feel they have to hide because they feel threatened. Looking back, I guess I've seen that a bit in my brother.. He always talks a big game around his friends, how he's had girlfriends before who'd go down on him at the drop of a hat but really? He's never really had anyone.. I was his first sexually and I guess, Aaron is the first person he's really ever been in a relationship with.
Oh yeah, it's sort of official, they're dating now. When we met him at the creek, Aaron was standing there with his hands behind his back and when Nicolas asked him what he was hiding, he pulled out a dozen roses, just for him. Sort of confused me at first, but he explained it pretty well. He loves us both equally and wants to be with both of us. Personally I'm okay with it, but it threw my brother for a loop at first, but he's fine with the idea too. He even explained to Aaron why he's so comfortable sleeping with his sister, which is sort of cute. He said: "We've shared everything in our lives up until that point except a truly intimate moment and I just wanted to be able to share our first experience too." It sounded sort of corny to be honest, but I'm starting to understand it.. We really have shared everything in this life so far, we're lucky to be so close too, I've met people who can't stand their siblings and it makes me sort of sad.
Anyways, Sunday was interesting too, mom and dad sort of cornered me and my brother and asked us why we were spending so much time together. I think they already pretty much figured it out, but they accepted what we said pretty well too when we explained about Aaron, how we're both dating the same guy. They seem okay with that too, they just told us both to be careful and not let him hurt us if things go bad. Mom also had 'the talk' with us, said she'd rather us be safe than sorry and handed us both a box of condoms. She said when we run out (And yes, she said WHEN, not IF.) that all we have to do is tell her and she'd get us more, so long as we promise to always use them.
I love my family, we're a weird group, but I'd say we have it better than some. For all the weird quirks my parents have, then love us so much and they show it well. They try to protect us, but they don't stifle us in the process, which I'm thankful for too.