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Somethings in life just don't make sense. That's something everyone learns quickly. Cassidy realized it long ago. He has always had an unusual relationship with the dark. As a fox, a black one no less, he has always felt a certain draw to the solemnity of the darkness, but sometimes this comforting loneliness was the exact cause of his suffering. After being left to your own mental devices for too long, it doesn't take much for your mind to turn into a torturous prison. Much like his sentiment towards the dark, Cassidy was a very complicated fox. He was diagnosed with mild bipolarism, and was prescribed a mood stabilizer for a while. It didn't really feel like it was helping, and when they tried to put him on an antidepressant, he decided to just stop going back to the physician and wean himself off the meds. He did have mood swings sometimes, but the happy mood swings weren't worth losing in an effort to get rid of the sad ones; they were generally enjoyable. He liked to think the white patches of fur he had, were symbolic of his hopes to pull out of the dark depression he'd been in for most of his life. His violet eyes stared into the night as he lay on his bed during another thought filled sleepless night. "Why do I feel so alone?" he thought to himself, even while knowing the simple answer. Cassidy was the only gay in a school full of kids, he told only his parents and a close few friends, he didn't even tell his brother and sister yet. Sure, he had a few great friends who liked him regardless of his orientation, but he knew nobody actually loved him; parents being the exception of course, but he didn't see much of them. They didn't care when he told them he was gay, they were very supportive and said they love him no matter what. He was thankful for his parents, but his heart yearned for the embrace of another, and yet he knew it was impossible. The night dragged on revolving around the same general thoughts until the morning rays washed away the dark. He eventually dragged himself out of bed to reluctantly prepare for high school. "Thank god, it's my last year.. Maybe I'll meet someone when I go to college," he muttered to himself in an effort to remain positive. His day started off like any other, after sitting through his morning classes, he finally got to head to the lunch room. He didn't talk to many people, but he liked to pretend to be a class clown. It was his way of keeping people from getting too close to him. He figured nobody would take him seriously if he acted goofy and happy all of the time, this generally proved to be true. It was the only thing that got him through the day. As he walked into the lunch room he spotted his small group of friends that actually knew the real him. After grabbing his mediocre lunch, he sat down over by them. "Somebody looks tired!" Cassidy looked up to see a female husky named Andi wearing a bright, beaming smile. Andi and Cassidy have been friends for a very long time. They actually even dated back in 4th grade! They still joke around about that on occasion. "Yeah, but when don't I?" Cassidy chuckled in response. "So how's everyone doing today?" He asked, looking around the table. "Welllllll! Here's something exciting! We got a new kid in our school the other day, his name is Eccet. I think he's a junior, I share a study hall with him though," Andi spouted chiperly. Cassidy's ears perked straight up, "Awesome! What does he look like?" He asked with interest. "He's right overrrr there!" She said while while pointing. "That wolf." His eyes followed her finger to lay upon the wolf. He was taller than Cassidy's modest 5" 8'. Maybe around 6" 3'. He was covered in charcoal colored fur from ear to tail. From this distance it was hard to see more than that, but it did seem like he was relatively muscular, definitely more so than Cassidy's lithe frame. Cassidy's mouth went dry. He always had a thing for wolves, and this one was no exception, actually he was the epitome of what the fox liked. Wow, he's cute, he thought to himself before snapping his attention back to his table. "Too bad he's a junior, I probably won't ever talk to him," he replied, trying to appear disinterested. Cassidy had learned to not get his hopes up and to ignore his attraction. It never got him anywhere. Besides he still had a hopeless, secret crush on his friend, Nat. His friend Nat was a bobcat, and had been friends with the poor fox longer than most. He was really fun to be around and often made fun of people, which Cassidy really enjoyed since they were typically the ones who had it out for him. Nat was undeniably straight and never gave any indication of being gay, but he had always been a good friend and Cassidy couldn't stop his heart from yearning especially since he considered Nat to be the only reason he wasn't completely depressed. Andi would always be there for him if he needed to talk, but he didn't like talking his problems out, it typically made him feel worse. So the senseless fun with Nat was what really helped him feel better. "Welllll you never know, sweetie!" Andi said with a wink. He was tempted to ask what exactly she meant by it, but decided against it. He spent the rest of his lunch listening to Nat and their friend Adam talk about video games, occasionally commenting and joining in. After a few more classes, Cassidy finally made it to his last study hall period. He sat in his usual spot, next to a monkey he shared calculus class with named Mike. Cassidy had always hated any math beyond algebra, deeming the rest of it useless, so he would always sit by Mike in an effort to actually learn it, since Mike was virtually the smartest in his class. After legitimately trying to complete his homework for no more than 5 minutes, Cassidy quickly grew frustrated and decided to not do it. As he looked up, his heart fluttered. Across the room, he spotted Eccet, sitting with some other people he didn't know. He wanted desperately to go talk to him. "Even if we end up only having one conversation a day, it would be worth it. I mean look at him, he's gorgeous!" He thought to himself. Unfortunately, his nerves got the better of him and he couldn't bring himself to go over. In an awkward effort to break the ice, Cassidy started up his typical class clown act of being loud and obnoxious. He was hoping it would get Eccet's attention, and maybe have him start the conversation. While talking loudly to Mike in an attempt to distract him from his homework, Cassidy heard something from across the room. "Would you please shut the fuck up and come out of the closet already, we all know you're gay!?" He looked over to see the source of the shout, it was Eccet. His heart crashed and burned when he met Eccet's gorgeous sky blue eyes, for two reasons: his eyes were literally breathtaking and now he knew that he'd never get to look into them with any love behind them, just fire. As anxiety surged from his heart, Cassidy tried frantically to think of how to respond, but he couldn't, he was too distraught to muster any thoughts. It worked out though, Eccet redirected his attention, having gotten what he wanted, and Cassidy just sat there silently, pretending he didn't hear the outburst directed at him. "Guess I won't be talking to him anytime soon," he thought to himself. The study hall continued in relative silence until the bell rang and the kids filed on the bus. Cassidy plopped down in his seat by the window, staring silently out. He didn't have his license yet, so he rode the bus. Without a job or a car, he didn't see much of a reason to get a license. His thoughts were interrupted when his younger sister, Mel, sat down next to him. He looked over at Mel, the solid white fur and hazel eyes a stark contrast of his. He always struggled to understand how they we're so opposite in appearance and personality. Mel was typically positive and carefree. Not a worry in the world, it would seem. As far as the appearance goes, he figured it must be something with recessive genes. His parents were both normal colored with white paws, black accents, and the signature russet red fur. Mel was a sophomore, two years below Cassidy and four years below their oldest brother, Rock. She looked back at Cassidy, with concern in her eyes and asked "are you okay?" "Yeah, why?" he lied, hiding the pain he still felt from study hall. "If you say so," she shrugged "so did you hear about the new kid? Rumor has it he's gay. I hope the poor kid doesn't get picked on, that's not exactly common here." "Yeah I saw him, didn't hear about the other part though," he replied, doing his best not to think about her words, even with his heart in his throat and a twitch to his ear. "Rumors will be rumors, doesn't matter either way," he stated flatly, before turning back to the window. His mind was racing with thoughts about the potential for him to not be alone anymore. His thoughts stopped immediately when he recalled what happened in study hall. "Even if he is gay, he probably already hates me, so it won't matter either way," he thought sullenly. "Well, I was just letting you know," Mel replied before turning to chat with one of her friends. Cassidy put his headphones on and listened to his Zune on shuffle. The odd assortment of hardcore, techno, and punk music kept him somewhat distracted as the bus lurched forward and their hour long ride home began. When they finally arrived home, they were greeted by their mother, just like every day. She was their constant, always at home and nearby when needed. Luckily their dad's job was enough to support the family comfortably, and he didn't even have to work too many hours. As a result, their mother was a stay at home mom, and she loved it! Cassidy knew he could talk to her about anything, but tonight he didn't much feel like it. After grunting a greeting and answering her typical "How was your day, sweetie?" questions he quickly made his way back to his room. He immediately collapsed on his bed and buried his muzzle in the pillow. He wanted to cry so badly. He felt like he needed to, but no tears came. Just gut wrenching, heart crushing sorrow. He had many nights like this, where he would wallow on his bed and struggle with his mind, but tonight was exceptionally worse. After thinking about the recent loss of a potential lover or even just friend, his mind was rapidly approaching the cliffside he often teetered on. "Would it really be that bad, to just end it? I mean who would even miss me? I guess my family would, but what's it matter? I'll be dead..." He rolled these poisonous thoughts around in his head until the tears started to flow. "I can't do that, it's not fair to them, they'll miss me too much and they love me too much," reaching the same conclusion he always had. His whole body started heaving as he cried into his pillow and clutched his favorite childhood plushy of a pink bunny rabbit. "It's not fair! Why can't I be happy!? I know I'm lonely, but I shouldn't need to be dating someone to be happy," all of his feelings of self worth drained by the hour, much like his bloodshot violet eyes. The gentle hue marred with tears and gunk. Eventually he ran out of tears and laid there numb, unable to understand the oppressive and ever present sadness. Finally he heard his mother call for dinner, he got out of bed and wiped his eyes. He stared blankly at himself in the mirror. "I doubt another guy would love me anyway, I'm so stupid looking," he said to himself. This thought, was far from true. Cassidy was covered in black fur all over his body. There was a small white crest right in the middle of his chest, shaped like an upside down triangle. The tip of his fluffy tail was white as well. His left paw was also white, with the fur meeting in a grey line on his wrist; asymmetrically, his right foot was white as well. The insides of his ears were also white, but the rest of his facefur was all black, including his nose. His eyes were a gentle shade of violent and staring into them was like looking into a tranquil pond; they emanated a feeling of peace and amity, a far cry from the emotions hidden behind them. He looked away from the mirror and went out to join the family for dinner. Dinner usually irritated Cassidy. They all ate as a family, which he didn't mind, but they usually also had the TV blaring some news show about celebrities. Like he honestly cared if Bratney Hares shaved her head and went coo-coo, but tonight was a rare exception where the TV was kind of quiet, much to his surprise and gratitude. They all got their plates of spaghetti and meatballs balls (one of Cassidy's favorites) and sat around the table. "Hey doooood, how was your crappy job?" Cassidy asked, looking at his brother Rock. Rock was a fox colored much the same as his parents and had a bit of an unexciting personality, but brothers are brothers! He worked at a supermarket now, and was taking a semester off college. He still lived at home since he couldn't afford anywhere else. "It was fine, full of stupid customers like always," Rock sighed. "Well I'm sure you helped them out, I mean you are the dairy queen after all!" His family was no exception to his facade of humor. If he wasn't joking around, they would worry about him, and he didn't want that. Besides, Cassidy loved calling Rock the dairy queen since he worked in the dairy department. "Very funny," he sneered, as the whole family chuckled at him. "So," their dad began, and looked over at Cassidy and Mel, "how was school, you two?" They both said their days were fine and pretty uneventful, but Mel did mention the new student. "Yeah! We got a new student the other day, I already heard there's a rumor going around that he might be gay. I really hope he doesn't get picked on. I think he would be the only gay person in our school, but he is a wolf so he could probably take care of himself," Mel said earnestly before going back to eating. Cassidy watched with horror as his parents turned to look at him with coy smiles and raised eyebrows. His cheeks flushed pink as he tried to look small and avoid looking back. "What grade is he in?" their mother asked, turning back to Mel. She replied with a quick "11th" then went back to her destruction of the food. "Thank you for dinner, mom," Cassidy said, while putting his plate in the dishwasher, desperate to avoid their gaze. He didn't have the heart to tell them about his first interaction with the wolf. Cassidy went back to his room and played video games until it was time for bed. Luckily tomorrow was Friday.

The next day at school passed much the same as the last. The morning classes blurred by until his favorite "class" lunch! After getting his food, Cassidy sat in his usual place in the back corner. He looked around his table and noticed that Andi was missing. "Hey, where's Andi at?" he asked nobody specifically, while looking around. "She's sitting over there by the new guy," Nat answered. Cassidy's ears shot down, and his tail drooped for a second. He noticed Nat give him a funny look, so he quickly perked them back up. "Ah, okay. Thanks," he replied. "So what are you doing this weekend, Nat? I've got nothing going on and I could use a fun filled weekend." "Nothing at all. Let's hang out at my house, dude! Bring your Xbox controller and shit so we can play Borderlands 2 all day," he answered eagerly. "Hell, you can even spend the night tonight! I can drive you back to your place to pick your stuff up, then back to mine!" "Awesome! I can't wait," Cassidy spouted enthusiastically with a huge grin in his muzzle and a flailing tail. "I really appreciate it, man," and he really did. The times he spent with Nat always made him forget about all of his issues. Even if only for a little while, it was well worth it. Nat had a rep for being a jerk in school, but he was always a good friend to Cassidy. Cassidy liked to think that people only felt that way because Nat didn't hold anything back, he always spoke his mind as bluntly as possible. That was one of the things Cassidy appreciated most about him. "Sure thing! It'll be fun. Now don't be gay about, jeez," Nat teased Cassidy constantly, but he knew it was all in good fun. "I won't, you're the one who wears 'Manpris' (a term they often used for the capris that Nat wore) you fag," Cassidy jabbed back with a fake snarl. "Pffff. Whatever, no less gay than your skinny jeans, dude," Nat laughed out. Nat was one of the few who knew Cassidy was gay. He liked to pick on him, but that's just the way he is. Cassidy could laugh about it with no hard feelings. They continued play fighting and joking around until lunch was over and they had to go to separate classes. Cassidy was so excited for the end of the day, it felt like time was standing still. It wasn't often he had something to look forward to. The oppressiveness on his heart felt much lighter as he made his way to the last study hall.

Monday morning came by way too quickly. The fun weekend of video gaming flew by and left Cassidy feeling quite a bit better, but also dreading going back to school. "Well shit, back to the grind I guess," he thought ready for another day of the same old. Things never go the way you plan.