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Blanket. Noise behind night. "YUUSINWHURRDYAIMS HASGOT TOO?" Big noise. Squeaky noise. Thump thump thump. "WHURRDEEGO? YUUSEDYUUSAWIMERE." Warm. Big blanket. Smells warm. Sleepy. Night time is here. "HEEWUZZINTHUHULLUHMINITUHGO." Thump thump. Thump. Noise make the night shaky. Night time go away, big light comes in with warm hands. "Theeeeeere he iiiiiiiis! Gerald, ah found hiiiim!" "OH good, where was he?!" "Hidin' in the laundry! You naughty thing! Were you hidin' in there whilst mummy wuz puttin' things away hmm? Curious wee bairn aren't ye?" Lady warm. Big brown snout, green eyes smile at me, black burn on her neck. Up, up, picks me up, floor very far, not move my feet but move. World big, white sky, brown floor. Thump thump thump, smell food, see mister with brown snout, bumpy head on top, grey eyes, stir food in pot. Pets my head. Want food now, big soupy meat. "Hmhmhm, you hungry after a little adventure James?" Hungry, smells good. Mister takes spoon, shows me food. "Here we go...open wide." Swallow. Bite spoon, grab with teeth, make them laugh. "Hahahaha, come on, James, let go." "NNNNUH! Nnnnum!" "Awwww you got such strang teeth don't ye mah wee bairn?!" "He always loves my beef stroganoff, hmhmhm...had to make the chunks smaller obviously but-" "If you can make that easy fer James to eat then that shows yer skill sweetie." Num it, growl, let go and laugh, lady kiss mister on mouth. Room moves, big box flash with colours, boring man on screen. Bigger sky outside, big glass, blue with black shapes, tiny lights. Lady sits down, holding me, watch boring man. Man makes her sad. I put hands on her face, she look down, smile at me, pulls me close, mister with food speaks behind her. "Change the channel Mary." "OH, s-sorry, got caught up in-" "I know, I just...don't wanna hear about that today." Box change colours, people sitting, talking in big rooms. Throw their hands everywhere, people laugh but I can't see them. Box laughing? I ask. "UHH?" "Hahaha, you like this show?" "Uhhh...ahnya!" "Hmmm...you know, he always does this every time a sitcom is oan." "Really?" says mister with food. "Always he points at thuh TV an' just...wants to tell me sumthin'." "Well try not to show him too much, they call it the idiot box for a reason." "Ah only dae it when summat good is on, we're no' havin' thuh TV raise him." "I know I know...I just wanna make sure he turns out okay." "He's no' gonna turn into sum braindead junkie come oan, a wee bit o' TV cannae harm him." "You're the doctor, isn't there research on this?" "......do you really wan' me to go intae that? Cuz ah memorised that whole essay, ah can telt ye." "Let's...not." More laughing, but people don't laugh. Where laughing come from? Ask again, think really hard, mouth try to move. "...BUH!" "Huh?!" "BUH...mmmmBUKS!" "...Gerald! G-Gerald I think, I think he's saying it!" "What?!" "His first word! OH! O-okay, okay sweetie, come oan noo, whut is it?" Lady excited, mister comes over watching me. Point at box, mister gets annoyed, walks back and forth not happy. "BUH...BUKS!" "Bucks?" asked lady. "He's...pointing at the TV, oh...o-oh god this, I knew this was going to happen, he's going to start watching too much TV and then he'll start-" "Wheesht Gerald! Come oan James...you can do it. Tell mummy an' daddy whut you wan'." Why does box laugh? "BUH! BUHHH! BUKS! BUX!" "Bucks?! Ah don't get-...oh my god." "What?" asked mister. "He's saying BOX. He's saying box because YOU call it the idiot box!" "...hhhhhahahahahahaha, ha ha ha ha ha, ohhhhhh just, oh my god. Oh...this...this is the best possible thing." "I know! Awwww that's sae presh, awww James you spoke yer first word! And it has a rarely used letter an' everything that's so clever!" "BUX!" "YES, good, very good! Well done James ahm so proud of you!" Mister and lady hug me. They laugh too, now box joins in. Everybody laugh, but I yawn. Tired now, lady picks me up, bedtime, my room, my bed, white bars, soft blanket. Lady puts me down for sleep. "Always runnin' aff on yer ain arentcha? Mebbe you jus' like thuh nightlife hmmm, like mummy does! Hmhmhaha! Ni night wee bairn." Big smooch. Heart feel warm. Put my hands on her face. Lady smiles. Fall asleep.

Wake up, night, I'm sick. Head all warm, too warm, can't sleep, crying. Someone coming, big shadow but not scary. Daddy. "Heeeeyyyyy...you can't sleep?" "U-UHHH..uhhhnnnnnnraaaah!" "Awwwwww...come here. Shhhhh-sh-sh-sh...it's alright." Big grey eyes stare at me, looks sad because I can't sleep. Put my hands up, he picks me up and hugs me softly. "Nnnngh! Mmmraaaaaah!" "I know I know...I'm sorry, you want your medicine huh? It's been enough hours that you can have it again, let's just go, come on." Daddy walks with me. Noisy vroom vroom outside, people sleeping, little lights behind big glass. Box quiet now, no people on it, box is sleeping shhhh. Takes me into bathroom, lights go on, eyes hurt. Make light go away. "AAAH, NNNNGH!" "Sorry sorry, I can't see without the light James, I know it hurts." "Wwwwrrreeeeeeeh-hehhhh!" Daddy looks sleepy in shiny glass, holding me, see my face in shiny glass. Brown snout, green eyes but no purple on me. I grab at shiny glass, touch myself in it but daddy grabs glass and open it. Lots of things inside glass, bottles and brushies, but daddy takes a long thing, not bottle. "Dosage...mmmm...dammit...d-dammit damn it to-...hhhhh." Daddy walks back, goes to other door, mummy's in bed, looks up, hears me crying. Big bed, two pillows, blue sheets, mummy turns on little light near bed, not so hurt my eyes. "Mmmmraaaaaah-hhaaaaaa!" "I forgot what dosage it was," says daddy. "Unnhhh...fuck's sake gie's it here." Mummy takes not-bottle from daddy, sits in bed and clicks button on it. "He's aboot forty-two pounds so that means seven-point-five mill of ibuprofen." "Oh...dammit I KNEW it was that, I'm...I'm sorry." "Don't be, yer half-asleep, better you let me than try anythin' yerself." "So are you but you already have the damn thing measured out in your head." "It's mah job Gerald, ah have this memorised, ahm sure if ah asked you whut seventy-thousand is divided bah thirty you would telt me-" "Two-thousand three hundred and thirty-three...point-three, and then it's just threes all the way to the end." Mummy turns to look at daddy, stares at him. "Christ that's scary." "I-i just...okay you made your point but the point is I should know these things, I'm the one that cooks for god's sake I should know about measurements-" "Wheesht." Mummy puts it against my neck, make puffy noise, push but not hurt. Still feel sick, still crying, hug daddy tightly. "Give him summat cald on his heid, should take aboot fifteen minutes fer thuh fever to subside." "Okay...fifteen minutes, I can do that. God I'm so glad you're a doctor for this." "Hmhmhm, beats callin' thuh hospital at five in thuh mairn, trust me that's always thuh worst." "I bet, having both parents and baby and you're all without sleep. That must be like hell." "It IS hell...sae glad ah dinnae have to dae that anymair, research pays way better than bein' a doctor." "Alright, be right back." Daddy takes me back to bathroom, puts not-bottle back in glass, makes water wet something. Small blue cloth, wrings it out, puts it on my head. Cold. Nice cold, makes head stop hurting bit. Turns light off, walks back to mummy and sits in bed, she yawns, tired. Daddy's tired too. I want sleep. "Do you ever miss Dundee?" daddy asks. "Hmm?" "Just...ever miss anything about it? Like from your job, or any stuff you did or-" "Course ah dae. Why you ask?" "Well, I was just wondering since we were talking about the hospital you worked at so I just thought-" "Ah, yes, hmhmhmhm, ah think both you an' me know it very well bah now. But aye ah miss Dundee, a li'l bit, ah miss thuh Overgate bein' all nice an' open but tiny, ah miss mah friends back at Ninewells even though thuh nights were terrible shite an-" "M-mary...please." Too tired to hear naughty words, but mummy stops anyway. "S-sorry, ah hated thuh nights but aye ah do miss a little bit of bein' back in hospital aye." "Well, what was the best thing that happened in hospital?" "...uh, besides meetin' you, mister bumpy heid?" Mummy puts finger on daddy's head, rubs his bump, makes him blush. "Well it WAS you that brought this on me." "It wuz an accident! Ah didnae ken that book was sae heavy-" "Well either way I'm glad you called an ambulance." "Well, ah had tae...though normally ah wouldnae accept invite offers on a date from people ah both clonked on thuh heid an' also treated as mah patient." "I wasn't your patient when I asked you out!" "Which you did, EVENTUALLY, an' not in person ah might add." "I-i-i was nervous! I didn't want to look like a stalker." "Mmmmhmmmmmm...leavin' yer phone number at thuh front desk fidgetin' an' panickin', yanno ah looked at thuh security footage back when you gave yer number to thuh lady at thuh desk." "Y-you did?!" "Ah never telt ye? Hmhmhm, god you were such a nervous thing, ah thought you were gonnae need to come back in after a heart attack." "Let's be honest, I was a bluenoser fresh off the plane and in Dundee for about three years by then, I could have been scivey as hell, you had no idea who I was!" "Well, ah never met a dodgy person that gave me chocolates as a thank ye fer puttin' them in hospital." "I-i-i'm just...unngh." Daddy bites lip, rubs on his neck. "I wasn't sure what to get you." "Better than flowers," says mummy, "ah mean they just wither an' die away, no' like chocolate, that stays good fer a year to snack on, ah mean that box alone kept me goin' in thuh office on tough days!" "Heheh...ahhh...I have to admit, I never saw myself as the one staying at home." "Ah never saw mahself as anythin', ah mean well, this wasnae planned." "What good kid was ever planned Mary?" "Heh...a-ah ken..."[/i] Mummy kiss daddy on the cheek, daddy blushies. "I never wanted a child before but...I'm glad ah had one with ye." "H-huh? W-why?" "Because ah trust you. From thuh first date we had, you were always sae concerned aboot me, not like other guys ah been with. Fer years ah always wanted sumbody wild an' crazy an' kinky but...whut ah NEEDED...wuz someone that wuz reliable, honest an' trustworthy." "Heh...I like you uh, lead with the other exciting guys first." "Wh-whut ah mean is Gerald, ah luv you because you're YOU, not because of whut you dae, if ah had anybody else lookin' after our hame an' wee bairn, ah'd be worried sick while at work! But I never worry because it's you, ah know you'd make a good father...yer already thuh best husband ah could ever have." "...u-u-um." Daddy looks away, sniffles, crying but not sad. Happy tears but daddy says nothing, I yawn, want to sleep. Tug daddy, take me back to bed. "Oh..heheh, um, w-w-well uh, I should get um...James back to bed." "Mebbe you should sing to him," says mummy. "Oh...um...I-i don't know, I jus-" "You want to hear daddy sing James? Come on, mmmhmm, yus you dooo, daddy has a lovely voice doesn' he? See, he wants it!" "Okay okaaaay...hhhhh......come alooooooooooooong...til there is sunshine shining when we find the silver lining, come aloooooong...sing a soooooooong...when today becomes tomorrow, weather fine, joy or sorrow, sing a sooooong..." I fall asleep, not hurt anymore. Daddy always makes me sleep, nice song, makes mummy smile when he sings song.

Wake up, I'm walking. Pat pat pat. Not thump thump thump like mummy and daddy. Walking is hard, makes feet hurt, want to crawl but they smile at me when I do. I walk because they smile at me, daddy gets down on floor and I walk to him. Now I hug him too, just like mummy does. I walk over to mummy, watching box. Box makes them sad, they look at it but don't smile at it now. "Can we please stop watching that?" daddy asks. "We have tae keep up oan this," says mummy. "It's no' happenin' very far from us!" "Hopefully it won't come near. The streets are all getting cordoned off and they told everyone to stay inside unless-J-james be careful!" I hit box. I don't like box. Makes mummy and daddy sad, but mummy pulls me away. "Nooooo sweetie, don' hit that." "Bu', bu' mummyyyy box makin' bad thingies!" "Shhhhh...you don't hit things like that." "Bu', bu' box is-NNNNGH!" "UH-UH, Jaaames!" Mummy puts finger up, not angry but scary. "Noooo need tae git angry, alrigh' James? We dinnae shout in this household, okay?" "UH, u-uh, uuhhhhh-" "Shhhh, c-come here...come here." Mummy hugs me, sees me get upset. Did I do something bad? "I know you don't like thuh box sumtahms but you dinnae hit it...alrigh' sweetie?" "Nnnkay...sorryyyy mummy..." "That's alright. Listen, why don't you go to your room an' play a wee bit, mummy needs to look at summat first, I'll come in an' play with ye soon alright?" "Oh-kayyyyy!" Room and play, I walk away. Pat pat pat, tiny claws on floor, click click click. Found car, roll it back and forth. Race it from bed to wall, then back. I always win. I keep winning, back and forth, car race, race car. Red, yellow, vroom vroom stop. Spin, car spins, make it go right in the wall, crash! Crash! Car still fine, race again to other wall. I keep playing, all by myself, forgot mummy was coming but lights pass window. Mummy comes in, hear people outside. "Hooookay James, would you like to play something else? Howsaboot a game of hide and seek?!" She smiles weird at me. Not happy smile but I smile too. "Ah huh, ah wah pway!" "Daddy's gonnae count to ten an' try to find ye alrigh'? But ahm gonnae help ye with a seeecret special place, okay sweetie? Just so we can make it a wee bit difficult fer him, hmmm? Close your eyes daddyyyyy!" "CLOZ EYES DAD-DEEEEE!" "I'm closing them!" says daddy. "One...two...three...four-" Mummy picks me up, smiles harder. I like hide and seek, but I don't like mummy smiling, not happy smile, look scared at me. She puts me in tiny room, dark but warm, big lots of blankets. She closes door, shushes me, be quiet I'm hiding. I shush back, put finger to my teeth. Door closes. I don't see her again. Noises louder outside now. People angry. People shout, people like on box but not laughing now. Scary dark. Feels warm, not nice. Scary warm, scary too warm. Wet, wet hands, scared, really scared, want to go out and see light. Want light but too scared, where's daddy, come and find me. I want light to come back, I push big door, door open. See lots of light, but not good light. Someone's there, two, mummy and daddy standing at the big glass. "Do you think they'll have us leave?" says mummy. "I hope not," says daddy. "It...i-i-it's not that...I worry about the house, it's just, the streets are very dangerous, I don't want James-" "I know. Let's...let's just stay here hopefully the riot will pass us." "Why do people do this? We all live in the same place, we all live in hell, can't we just...hhhhhh...I didn't ask to exist, they keep making us anthros feel like we're some sort of curse on them-" "Aye. People just can't stand being wrang aboot sumthin'...breaks their entire world view apart to have non-humans livin' oot here." "We don't even know where we came from really, why even bother fighting about it, I jus-......h-hhhhh...h-hoh...oh god. O-o-oh god." "Gerald? G-gerald are you...are you alright?" "Oh god." Daddy gets scared, turns away from window, starts rocking back and forth. Light gets big outside, burning light, big scary light makes daddy start shaking. "Oh god, oh god." "G-gerald, what's wrong?" "No...n-n-no...it...it's happening." "What is?!" "Fire. I see the fire. It's come for me Mary." "Wha-...no. No, don't do this, not now, ESPECIALLY not now!" "I can't, no...there's fire all down below us Mary, the streets are in flames." "Whut AW come oan that's nuthin', that'll get cleaned the morn, Gerald it's just...j-j-just pissy little molotovs they cannae even reach up here!" "No...no morning. No morning left for us." "Gerald. Don't." Mummy gets scared, hugs daddy close. "Ah need you to be strong okay? Just...just stop thinkin' aboot the fire, that wuz JUST a dream, th-that means nuthin'!" "No. N-no it wasn't Mary. I know when it's a dream and what's not, it's...Pangaea's calling me." "STOP it. For fuck's sake, your family have nae control over you anymair, yer not like one of them, yer not sum weird cultist PRICK!" "I can't stop it. I'm scared, please...Mary, r-run." "What?" Daddy grabs her face. "Run. Just run. I can't...I-i-i-i can't-" "Gerald, stop it, you're scaring me!" "Can't stop...Pangaea...p-prophecy, c-calling me, the r-ritual-" "You were just a teenager back then, fuckin' STOP IT!" Noises frighten them. Light blinding, big whirly thing pass big glass, fwup fwup fwup. Mummy holds daddy. "We're leaving." "What?" "Gerald, we HAVE to go, ah don' wanna leave but if we can, we can go to mah workplace." "I...I-i-i can't, the prophecy-" "NO, STOP THIS! THIS IS STUPID, IT'S NOT REAL! IT WASN'T REAL IT WAS JUST A STUPID DREAM!" "No...prophecy...Pangaea calls me. I can't...I can't escape. I can never escape Mary." Daddy starts crying. I never see daddy cry. Mummy gets upset, starts crying too. "I...I-i-i th-thought you were better than this, please Gerald g-god dammit please...why...why can't you run? Please, run with me...p-pleaaaase." "We can't run. None of us could." "What?" "The prophecy of our race...the blood of ancient times screams for the fire above. The fire. The great fire that wiped us all...has come to us again. Cx...Cx-cxulubcah. Cxulubcah." "No. N-n-no, Gerald please you're not sum fuckin' idiot from thuh stone age, you're a reasonable person, you work in an office filing patents YOU RAN AWAY FROM YOUR HOME BECAUSE YOU HATED IT!" "I can't run away...not from this." The noise is coming. Loud bursts, big bang, bang bang bang. Scary noises hurt my ears. "GERALD WE HAVE TO LEAVE, IT'S GETTING WORSE!" "No." "WH-WHAT DO YOU MEAN NO?!" "It's coming Mary...it's coming...the fire...the fire's burning me...I can't leave this." People screaming from outside. Angry. Afraid. Mummy's crying. "No, no no no no sweetie you have to do this, you have to! You can do this, you can fight this, YOU HAVE TO FIGHT THIS PLEASE! DON'T DO THIS TO ME NOW!" "I can't." "Why!? Why are you so afraid to run!?" "The fire...it calls me...I've seen this in my dreams...I knew this would happen, always I knew." "IT WAS JUST A DREAM GERALD! A STUPID DREAM, YOU CAN'T LET IT TAKE YOU!" "Pangaea save me...may my ancestors bless me with food and shelter before the storm, before the dust comes and takes the sun away-" "STOP IT! It's NOT happening if you don't make it happen, you can do this, don't let them win! You're not afraid Gerald you're not afraid!" "Take James and run...just...please run, I'm sorry Mary...I'm so sorry." "NO! I WON'T LOSE YOU, YOU'RE NOT AFRAID GERALD, I KNOW YOU'RE NOT! WHAT ABOUT OUR SON!?" "The fire's calling me...I've always heard it calling me...everytime I sleep...I have no life beyond this...he'll have a better life with you." "I don't WANT a life with him I want a life with US! ALL OF US TOGETHER, PLEASE GERALD STOP THIS! I can't leave you Gerald...I don't want to leave you, please don't let them win, don't let the fear take you Gerald! PLEASE!" "I'm sorry...I'm s-sorry Mary..." "...I can't leave you...why...why? I thought you were stronger than this." "I was always weak...don't fool yourself. I could never be as strong as you." Big bang from above. Something make sky burn, big whirly thing, fwup fwup...fwup......fwup. Getting sleepy but burning gets louder outside window. Mummy grabs daddy, but he can't move. He's scared. Daddy falls down and starts screaming, crying, grabs his head, daddy's having nightmare. But he's still awake, mummy tries to pull him away. Mummy doesn't see me. "No...n-n-no Gerald, Gerald you can't GERALD! GERAAAAAAAAAAAAALD!" Noisy light shuts door. Big boom. Mummy stops crying. Daddy stopped screaming. Falling. I'm scared. Can't feel. Sleep now, not nice sleep, not warm sleep. Cold sleep.

Alone.

"Status report, Sierra-Nine." Someone's coming. Bad smoke makes me sleepy but I'm awake. "We found the source of the fire sarge, apartment one-eight-three, took the brunt of the chopper...slalomed straight through the living room." "Any survivors?" "Can't see any...wait, I see...two bodies." "Report, Sierra-Nine?" "It's the Campbells sarge. Dead." I get up. Walk through the warm darkness. I don't like this warmth. "All of them?" "Seems so. Under the wreck of the chopper, just hit them straight full-on, sarge." "Sierra-Nine, confirm again, you said two bodies were found, the apartment's listed to have three occupants, over." "Sir, we've only found two, both grown adults, Saurian, over." "Confirm again, there should be another occupant in the apartment, age approximate of two years old." "I don't see anyone else...I think...wait......I think I hear something, sarge!" Someone's coming. I see light, I keep walking. "Sierra-Nine, please confirm." "Confirmed, we have a survivor!" "Unharmed?!?" "Was secure in a laundry closet sarge. Doesn't seem to be wounded." "Carry him out gently, don't let him see the place." "Affirmative." Hard to walk. Legs wobble, start crawling instead. I walk because it made them happy, but...they're not around anymore. Can't stop crying. I don't know why. "Hey there li'l fella...shhh...it's okay...come 'ere, Bailey'll look after ya." "M-mummy?" "We'll find her later, come on, let's get you out...there's a good lad, what's yer name?" "A-ah...a-a-ah dun' wanna go, a-ah wan' mah mummy!" "Alright it's okay, come on, lemme pick you up. I'll carry ya out. Yer gonna be okay." "Wh-where's...daddy, where's daddy gone?! Ah wan' mah daddy an' mummy!" "They're somewhere else now, don't worry...just...don't worry about them." Big light is everywhere around me. "You'll...you'll see them again soon." James crawled out of a big dark hole from a big black rock. It smelled like burning, but he saw lots of trees in front of him. It was a big forest, very big, much bigger than anything he ever seen and it went on for miles. All the trees were black and white and the ground was sort of green but not grass was on it. But he wasn't looking at the trees because he laid down on the ground and started crying harder. He didn't know what his mummy and daddy looked like, or even sounded like, and now he did. But they were gone and now he was all alone just like he used to be. He didn't stop crying for a good long time until his eyes hurt, then he got up and rubbed his face with his hands. But when he did he looked at his hands and saw they were really small, much much smaller than they used to be. "Where...wh-wh-where am ah? H-huh? Whut...wuz wron' wif mah voice?" He started talking funny, not like a grown-up's like he used to but like he was a kid again because he was. His legs were really short now, and he was wearing pyjamas that were blue with red race cars all over him. James was a little scared, feeling his legs waddle all weird because he was really little now. But his head was still thinking like a grown-up's, like he still knew things he did when he was a grown-up. "I dun know this place...but...whysit feel...so...fah-milly-er? U-ungh...c-can' see anywun." It was really foggy, but it wasn't cold. He couldn't see past the trees as he kept walking, his tiny feet shuffling on the grass and the big black burning rock was gone behind him. He heard people whispering in every tree, but he couldn't see any of them. He thought they were people he knew, but he couldn't think any of their names as he kept walking. The grass felt nice on his feet, crunchy and cold like soggy cornflakes but he was still scared so he didn't smile at it. He was cold and felt sad like he wanted to cry again and he kept wiping his eyes until they hurt every time he was going to. He kept walking for ages, but the trees kept whispering behind his back, round his sides, all around him. But he wasn't worried because they sounded nice, or he didn't hear anything bad they said about him. Then he saw something in front of him, slowly, like a big big doorway. It was a huge building, reaching right into the sky made out of old brown bricks, with a big white step and a black rectangle door which was open for him. It had a big name above the door saying IQRA-MONASSI ORPHANAGE which he knew because: "I...a-ah know this place." He walked into the door but it was still the forest behind it, like the building had been blown up by a bomb as he saw little coats hanging on the trees with shoes at his feet. He saw his coat, a tight blue one but no shoes because he never wore shoes not even when he was little. He giggled at all the other shoes the kids had, even some of the anthros which had little bits of hair inside them. There was a desk between the trees with a book that said his name with two grown-ups talking. "He has no relatives?" "None that I could find...the father never listed any family, the mother's are all deceased." "No trusted contacts?" "I'm still trying to look that up." "Hm...very well, we'll do our best to keep him safe. I will however need your signature as proof that he was received and brought here." "That's fine. Um...Bailey. Jonathan Bailey." "And what is your connection to this boy?" "I...was the one that...found him...in his parents' apartment." "...I see. Very well Mr. Bailey, I shall take him in. Don't worry about him...I'm sure that he will have a good life in our orphanage until someone is fortunate to come take him. James? James Campbell?" "Ah huh?" But nobody came. He walked past the desk and saw walls between trees. The grass sometimes became a hard floor in little patches like a dirty rug. All the trees start laughing, crying, they sound like boys and girls from the playground. He saw something really shiny in front of him. It was a star shining on top of a small tree. A christmas tree! He ran fast as he could getting really excited, like he felt he was about to get a present from someone! There were lots of happy sounds around the tree, with lots of tinsel and baubles and red and white and yellow and purple all over itself. There were lots of shadows running around it, little kids that he knew and the closer he got, the more trees started to disappear and he was back at Christmas. It said 3495 on the calendar but then he saw someone sitting under the tree already and it was another kid. He thought he knew him, but he didn't know why because it didn't look like any anthro or human he ever met. It was a kid with a grey stony back, no tail and three long fingers on each hand as James tried to talk to him. "H-...h-hello?" The boy under the tree turned round, and he saw it was a turian as old as he was. He had a face that looked like a weird stony cricket with big eyes and blue paint on his cheeks, three on each side with a white nose that was really flat and weirdly tiny on his face. The turian gave him a gift, it was his toy! The very first christmas present he could ever think that he had, a shiny little motorcycle that made him really happy to hold. It was the only thing he still had after leaving his home but when he looked up, the turian boy was wearing a mask that looked just like James' face back when he was a toddler. The eyes were cut out so it had the turian's instead, but it was still brown and scaly with purple markings on the snout and the turian spoke with his own voice. "Ah wanna ride a motahcycle allll dayyy long an' be the COOLEST kid evah! Isn't it da most awesome thing evah?!" "Y-y-yeah! I...I-i-i remember this I...ah still kept this d-didn't I?" "MMHMM, ya sure did!" "Um...d-don't ah know you from somewhere?" "Ah dunno, ahm jus' pwayin', hehee! Whut abou' you, didn't you wanna be a big racer someday?!" "I...a-ah did. Ah wanted to have a motorcycle just lahk dat toy cuz it looked...s-sorta cool." "It's soooo cool, ah bet you can't wait to be a racer an' be famous, that way everybody'll love ya, right?!" "Love...me?" "OKAYYY ahm gonna go pway now, bye-bye mistah Jaaaaames! Bye byyyyye!" He waved back at James with his left hand, which had a weird hole inside it like somebody shot it with something. He giggled when he took off the mask and ran away into the forest really happy, but James was confused. He knew where that boy was from but he didn't know his name right, and why did he have his toy back from when he was little? He walked away from the christmas tree holding his shiny toy and went the other way instead. But James stopped walking when he thought of something weird. "Wait...wh-when...when daddy had me in thuh mirror ah didn' have mah purple markings on me...bu' dat kid h-had a mask an' ah wuz......unnngh, ahm confused, is dis whut the insahd of mah h-head looks lahk? Ah dun really lahk dis already." He kept walking through the trees and the walls of the orphanage on both sides of him. Sometimes there were other trees but the wall kept moving as he was walking, taller than the trees but the fog was still there making it look really grey. The wall was sort of yellow, but a really weak yellow like he almost saw it as he kept walking. Sometimes he saw pictures of things that he knew, or friends he had but then the wall turned right at a corner. He had to walk right, but there were still trees in the hall which was big enough for five people to hold hands with each other and walk through. When he got to the end of the hall, there was a weird smell that made him scared. It was coming from a door, something spilled out, thick green things from the food cellar of the orphanage. James got really sick, holding his stomach as he almost puked as he heard his voice and someone else making fun of him. "WH-WHUT ARE YA DOIN'?!" "Come on kid, you need more fruit in yer diet, right?!" "N-NO I DON'T!" "You don't got any fur on ya even, look it's all fallen out!" "O-OWWW!" "Hehehe...I'm doin' you a favour anyway, yer probably filthy so this'll REALLY get the smell off you!" "S-STOP IT, LEMME GO BRIAN! L-LEMME GOOOOO-NNNNPH!" "SHUT UP! Stupid lizard, yer gonna stay in there an' MAYBE I'll let you out...if you don't stink anymore, hhhehehehhahaaaahaaa!" And then the door closed. James heard someone banging inside of it, screaming. He heard himself crying and screaming. "L-LEMME OUT! LEMME OUT, PLEEEAAASE! I DON' LIKE THIS! LET ME OUT! SOMEBODY! SOMEBODY HELP ME! HEEEEEEEELP!"

He ran away and heard himself crying. He ran away like he always did, from the really thick smell of limes and he wanted to scream, but if he did then he knew he would want to puke if his mouth opened at all. He didn't open his mouth until he ran a long way away, he wanted to cry, felt something tight in his chest which felt really sore. He wanted to scream, but he already screamed back then. He wiped his eyes and kept walking, trying to forget about the limes but he couldn't. The smell made him sick, it made him feel afraid as he found the exit from the big big hallway. It was a big playground, black all on the top and he heard voices coming from outside as he saw someone standing on the steps of the orphanage, a girl that was a bit older than him. She was a black human, in a pretty dress that was yellow like butter. There were lots of shadows, a great big crowd of them all around two people fighting. Something made James feel really angry watching this but he tried not to because he knew who the girl was. "...D-...Diana?" But the girl had a mask on of his face, just like the turian did except this one was a little different. Same purple marks but a little older now, and much more angry. Diana walked into the big crowd of shadows and got lost within until she shouted: "HEY BRIAN!" He then heard the bully shouting back. "Whuh-H-HEY, GET OFF!" "YOU WANNA PLAY?!! I'LL SHOW YOU!" "G-GET OFF ME YOU STUPID LIZARD!" "I'M NOT A LIZARD, I'M A RAPTOR! I'LL KILL YOU!" "S-STOP IT, I'LL KICK YOUR ASS, YOU LITTLE TURD, GET OFF-A-AAAAAARGH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIEEEE!" He pushed through the crowd and saw the bully back when he was a little kid. Brian Velasco, a bear slightly older than him with brown fur and grey t-shirt with shorts, his eyes were really bloody and torn and he was holding his face screaming, crying, red tears and scratches all over his face. Diana stood above him with red fingers like bloody claws still wearing the mask that looked like James. "M-my eyes...m-m-my...my eyes." Then he heard grown-ups shouting really angry at him. "J-JAMES! WHAT IN GOD'S NAME ARE YOU DOING?!?" "HE DID THIS TO MEEEEE! YOU LET HIM DO THIS TO ME, AND HE GETS TO LAUGH ABOUT IT, WELL FUCK YOU!" "THAT'S ENOUGH JAMES! You...disgusting little-" "Someone call the nurse for GOD'S SAKE!" "You have gone TOO FAR James Campbell! This is NOT how you do things!" "SHUT UP! SHUT UP YOU USELESS BITCH, YOU DID NOTHING, YOU'RE ALL USELESS! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOUUUUUUU!" Diana turned towards him before taking off the mask, showing her face looking still angry. James was a little scared hearing her talk back at him. "Any kid laughs at me again, I'll beat their face in 'til they can't anymore. Even if grown-ups punish me cuz I stood up fer myself." "But...but you-" "Whut?" "You hurt him! H-he wuz cryin' an' all h-he couldn't see, whut if...wh-wh-whut if he doesn't see ever again, did you really hafta h-hurt him like dat?!" "YOU did it, didn't you? I bet your parents woulda let you, I bet they never hated you just cuz you exist." "But...I-i-i wuz just a kid. I didn't...I didn't know any better." "That really the best excuse you got? 'You wuz just a kid', you think that make you sound NOT like a complete bitch fer whut you did?! Pfft, whutever." She snatched away his shiny toy and crushed it in her hand like it was a tiny bug, but when she opened her hand it turned into a piece of paper with big important words on it. It said "SOLITARY CONFINEMENT" and it had James' name on it because of what he did. James felt really bad, and Diana walked away without saying anything as she went back into the forest. James went the other way because he saw something, or maybe because he felt something pulling him to someplace else. He took the paper with him, and the more he walked the colder it got for him. He saw another wall after walking, a cold blue wall just like the one in solitary that he was in. It wasn't a nice place, nobody was allowed to talk to him and they only used it for really bad kids. He saw parts of it when he kept walking, a bed, a toilet and even the door that kept him in right in front of him. He couldn't move past it, the wall was now on both sides of him and before he knew it he was trapped in. He put his head on the door, feeling sad about all that time on his own, all that time being alone when he had nobody else to talk to. Nobody except himself when he got angry again. He wanted to cry again because he couldn't move until the door opened for him about five minutes later. Creaking loudly, there was a lady's voice behind it along with his own which sounded much older, not like a kid's as much as he saw a huge light blinding him like he had just been in a really dark room. "Hello there...James is it?" "Um...y-yeah?" "My name is Lisa and this is my husband John. We want to adopt you." "H-huh? Wait...is this a joke?" "No no, not a joke! Why would you think that?" "Cuz...um...I-i-i dunno, why would you wanna adopt me?" "Because you look like a sweet feisty boy?" "Feisty? That's weird to call me." "Hahaha, sorry, what I mean is, we want to be your new parents. We wanted to have someone to be a family with, we can't...well, we're not able to have a child ourselves and we wanted...god. Listen, I know this is very weird-" "Yeah." "But you don't HAVE to call us mum or dad if you don't want to, and you don't even have to come with us, we just...well...we heard about you and...we understand." "Understand what?" "Being treated differently. We've known plenty of people that didn't approve of...us being together and we know where you're coming from." "Why?" "Because I'm an anthro and...John is a human." "...people hate you too?" "Some." "Oh. Some people hate me too. Do you...wanna talk about stuff maybe?" "I'd love to James. Come on, let's get you out of here." "Okay...um...are you really gonna adopt me?" "Why wouldn't I? People like us have to stick together right James?" "Hhheheh...yeah...um...what wuz yer name again?" "Lisa." "Okay...thank you." He felt warm inside again when he left the cold room, walking on through the forest when he realised he dropped the paper slip somewhere behind him. But he didn't care, he was done with that place, he didn't have to go back ever again, he was happy finally. The trees kept going on far into the woods, but he saw the ground turn into a street with thick gravel and pavements on both sides of him with little white fences with gardens and doors behind them too. He heard John talking to him, his foster dad. "How was your first day at school?" "Um...was, okay." "Nothing bad happened?" "Nah-uh, was pretty boring." "Did you learn anything yet?" asked Lisa. "Nah, they never teach you anything." "Hmhmhmhm...got no faith at all do ya?" "They don't teach ya anything you need anyways." "Like what?" "Like...math." "Well math is important, what if you need to count your money?" "That's not math, that's counting." "Hmhmhaha! Math IS counting James." "Whaaa? Well but, they start putting letters into it and...it's just...dumb." "They just wanna give you a good general knowledge," said John, "they don't want you to not know anything you might need in today's society. You need basic language skills, basic maths, a good level of fitness and basic understanding of people. They just wanna give you the ground rules, make you a jack-of-all-trades and then whatever you think you can specialise in properly, you can choose." "Mmmm...so, just make me good at everything and then, be awesome at one thing?" "Exactly." "Heh...that does make sense John." "Hahaha...you can call me dad you know." "S-sorry...dad." "It's alright," said Lisa, "we know it's a little strange, we won't force you to call us mum or dad if you don't want to. Honestly, this is new to us too, but at least we're past the messy part." "No diaper changing thankfully," said John. "Johnny!" "Hmhaha!" "Really James, it's fine, you don't have to call us if you don't want to but-" "No," said James, "I want to...mum. I'm just...glad someone finally took me..." "Alright then. Do you have a favourite subject?" "Not yet...kinda like P.E., running around all the time's pretty great, I'm tough." "I know you are. Are you done eating?" "Mmhmm, that was gooooood." "That's good! Now it's time for dessert, I hope you like ice cream!" "AW TOTALLY!" "Hahahaha!"

He smiled skipping down the street, the forest turning into streetlights all around him. The fog started coming in, really thickly almost until he couldn't see anything in front of him. The forest street got really dark, and he wrapped his arms around himself feeling cold until he found a house at the end of the street. It was his foster parents' house, with white walls and a black door that creaked open when he came close. Inside was a small corridor, only big enough for him to fit through, he couldn't even put his arms out when it was that tiny. He saw the stairs leading up beside him, the dining table in the living room on his right with the back laundry room, all the places that he knew about. He didn't really think much about this place, because it had been pretty boring. But then he started thinking how much he liked being in this place, with his really nice foster parents who just made him feel like he was normal. Like he was okay. He wasn't even angry anymore, he never ever got really mad in this house, like he was just living with them because they liked him too. He went upstairs and saw three rooms, one for him, one for his parents and one for the bathroom that they had. He went in his bedroom but there wasn't a bedroom, instead it was just another big street that went all the way down in front of him like a big slope just like the one he had been walking through. James was really confused because he was on the second floor of a house and it made no sense but he walked in anyway, feeling like he had to. The whole street was full of police cars, big white cars with flashing lights and blue and yellow stripes along the side of them. All around him he heard people, grown-ups talking on their radios, all the police but he heard four people that weren't police. He heard John, Lisa, another lady and himself screaming: "L-LET GO OF ME!" "I know this is painful," said the lady, "but you'll be looked better after once we-" "I WAS LOOKED AFTER, WHY CAN'T YOU LEAVE US ALONE!?! MUM! LISAAA!" "Just go with them James!" shouted Lisa. "Please, don't give them trouble they don't know any better!" "THIS ISN'T FUCKING FAIR, YOU NEVER DID ANYTHING TO ME!" "That's enough!" said the lady. "While you're with me I will not have that language-" "FUCK YOUUU! YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING!" "I know plenty well enough young man and I know that YOU need to calm down!" "WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?!" "Because," said John, "look...James, we-" "Do not talk to the boy," said the lady. "James you know as well as I do what any of our neighbours said were lies." "Step AWAY from the boy now!" "Just tell them the truth! Tell them absolutely what you KNOW is the truth!" "Officer, keep this man away from the child!" "I'M FOURTEEN YOU FUCKING BITCH, THEY'RE LYING! WHATEVER THEY TOLD YOU THEY'RE LYING, THEY NEVER TOUCHED ME! MY MUM AND DAD NEVER HURT ME, THEY NEVER DID ANYTHING TO ME IT'S FUCKING LIES!" The police cars moved in closer, like they were reversing into him, backing up, making James feel really nervous and trapped like he was back in that room cold and lonely. He saw the shadows of grown-ups again, all around him as he saw one of the police car doors open up by itself. He waddled over to look inside when he saw another grown-up's shadow of the social services lady, but he also saw another kid beside her, a boy without any clothes with brown scales, slight tummy and holding a bone in one hand. He couldn't see his head in the dark, his voice was different from James but he started to say the things that James said back then. "I...KNOW you are upset James Campbell but we must investigate any and all claims made of abuse ESPECIALLY when in such a multitude of-" "THEY'RE ALL IN THIS! YOU'RE AN IDIOT, THOSE FUCKING NEIGHBOURS THEY ALL HATE US BECAUSE WE'RE NOT HUMAN, BECAUSE WE...BECAUSE WE'RE DIFFERENT!" "Now James, I know you are confused and upset but I am certain it is not what you think-" "YES IT IS YOU FUCKING STUPID CUNT!" "STOP IT!" shouted Lisa. "James...STOP making this worse, this will all be over soon, you can't just threaten people like this, they'll be proven wrong when we go down to the station!" "IT'S THEIR FAULT!" He pointed at the houses outside the car window. "THEY FUCKING KNOW WHAT THEY DID THEY'RE LYING FUCKS I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE! YOU BETTER SLEEP WITH ONE FUCKING EYE OPEN BECAUSE I'M GONNA KILL YOU!" "That's enough James! You don't threaten neighbours like that!" "YOU DON'T BREAK UP FAMILIES EITHER NOW LET GO OR I'LL START WITH YOU!" "Stop being so STUBBORN!" The boy with the bone punched the grown-up in the stomach, really hard that she bent over crying before he jumped out of the police car and ran past James. He was wearing a mask that looked like James too, but it was much older now. He looked like a teenager, much more angrier than before as he ran down the street, with his foster mom and dad shouting after him. "JAMES! JAMES NO, COME BACK!" "JAMES WAIT, S-STOP! DON'T YOU'LL GET HURT!" "COME BACK JAMES! COME BAAAAAAACK!" James ran after him, worrying about himself as he heard the police who were also running after him too, the shadows all running beside him but the boy was too fast, he ran away much faster than everybody else. All the buildings changed from big houses to big warehouses dark and scary, really cold and he heard that there was water nearby too. The police cars made lots of noise everywhere around him as they went looking for the boy, but James knew where he was. There were lots of paths now in front of him between all the big buildings but he knew which one he was in. It was Warehouse 18, it said in big red letters above the door and he saw the boy with the bone in his hand looking really tired against one of the big crates made of steel, hundreds of them all over the building. James walked up to him and asked: "Are you...a-a-are you alrigh'?" "No...wh-why should I be?! I just wanted to have a family, I j-just wanted to be normal, but nobody WANTS me to be happy!" "But...b-but dey did, yer foster parents!" "THEY CAN'T STOP ME BEING TAKEN AWAY! FUCK THIS CITY, FUCK IT TO HELL, I HOPE THIS PLACE BURNS TO THE FUCKING GROUND! And I know how I'm gonna leave this place...right, here." He looked over at the big crate which said "CHICAGO" on the side of it and was open slightly, and not even locked like it should be as the boy walked over to it and peeked in seeing the forest full of trees again inside the big crate. James was really nervous and more confused than ever but he was really surprised when the boy took off his mask and showed another mask underneath. It wasn't a mask, but a weird-looking skull with tiny horns and eyes underneath blinking up at him that James knew which really surprised him as well. "I-...I-i-i-isaac?! ...no...noooo it can't-is it...issat really you?" "Is it?" said Isaac. "I mean...you know what happened to me, don't you mister James?" "I...a-ah do but...all dis is jus'...so weird ah mean, ah think ah know whut's going on but ah-" "Do you? You look a little lost, maybe just as lost as you were when you first ran away from home." "How...how do you even know that, ah never told you!" "Because I don't. Not me. Isaac doesn't know that, but YOU do." "S-s-stop talking like dat, I been walking fer ages whut's happening to me?!?! Wh-why was dat turian kid and Diana sayin' things dat ah used to say?!" "Because you remember stuff. You're trying to remember stuff because you don't know where to start, right? So you start from the beginning. You're trying to find the demon aren't you?" "Um...a-ah huh?" "Then just keep walking. Just go right through there and don't stop but...you should be careful in this place, because it's not just memories that are in here with you." "Huh?" "There's other thoughts too...things you don't want to see." Isaac walked away and disappeared behind the crate, but James looked inside at the forest still huge way off in the distance even though the outside of the crate was still in the warehouse. He felt really nervous, rubbing his hands as he walked back into the woods. There were still foggy trees everywhere around him and the big crate still behind him with the warehouse inside of it. He kept walking like Isaac told him to, but the more he walked the more colder it got. Then he heard something in the trees, someone walking with big heavy feet like a giant. James stopped walking and went really quiet, not making a noise because he heard someone breathing. Not normal breathing but really heavy nasty breaths, like a big monster's breath. It was coming closer, something really huge with big feet and when James turned round he saw huge claw marks in the ground right behind him that went really deep. He was really frightened, shivering when he turned round again looking for the monster, he could hear it all around him but he couldn't see it anywhere like it was right above him. He looked up. "I WILL EAT YOU." "A-AAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIGH!" James ran as fast as he could. He didn't want to look behind him, he ran faster and faster with his tiny feet trying not to look at the monster. It had huge wings that went straight through the trees, a long beak on a bony neck with a long sharp tail that slashed the ground behind him like his big clawed feet, it chased after him. James was screaming, he knew what the monster was, he knew what it was called but he was too afraid hearing the monster stomp and flap with an evil wind. "JAAAAAAAAAAAMES! Iiiiii willll EAT youuuuu." He ran until he was hurting, his chest felt really tight from screaming and running through the trees but the monster kept chasing him. It was catching up to him, he felt the big claws swing at him ripping his clothes from his back, breathing hotly on his head ready to bite. He shouldn't have looked back because the monster was right next to him, his beak opening wide with long bloody teeth. "Iiiiii will eat your SOUUUUUUUUUUUL!" "_NOOO! NOOOOOO PLEASE, S-SOMEONE HELP ME! HELP MEEEEEEEEEE-A-AAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAIIIIIIGH! _" He didn't see the pit in front of him. Because he tripped, he fell in.. The monster flew past right above his head with wings so huge that they blocked the whole sky above James. Everything went dark but James kept falling while screaming. Falling, falling forever until he hit something soft. He smelled flowers before he went to sleep.

When he woke up, he saw golden flowers all around him like a bed made of them as he slowly got up. There was a light shining above him but James saw nothing but darkness everywhere around the bed of flowers that he was standing in. When he looked down at himself, his body had changed again, his voice a lot deeper but not like an adult, still young with soft brown scaly skin and different clothes than he had before. His pyjamas were gone and now he wore a black tank top with sleek tracksuit bottoms dark blue with white stripes. "Wh-...where am I, why is thi-...woah...my voice is weird...wh-what are these-" "Buttercups." He heard a voice somewhere. "I think they're buttercups. But then, you don' really know a lot about flowers dontcha James?" "UM, wh-who's there?! A-a-are you a monster?!" "Uh, no?! Why would I be?!" "I-i-i just...I dunno where I am, I just fell in, I-i-i was running from...f-from some...him...where are you?" "I'm right here!" James turned around behind him and saw another kid, a little goat boy looking up at him, standing on two legs with scruffy old clothes and tiny bumps on his head that would one day become horns, his hair soft and white as snow with a red scarf wrapped round his neck. Something about the kid made him think trying to remember who he was as he asked awkwardly: "Um...wh-where am I, exactly?" "Uhhhh, inside yerself? Come on you don't remember, you're not THAT stupid James sheesh!" "I-i-i knew that! I just mean WHERE inside me-oh jesus this is weird, this is f-fu-um...fudging weird." "Hhheehehehehehe...still can't swear around kids, ya dork." "I'm not a dork, YOU'RE a dork!" "You can't even remember my name, dork!" "I-i-i do! Totally!" "Well whut is it then?!" "...um...u-u-um-" The goat boy poked his tongue out at him giggling. "Yeah, dork, you can't even remember me?! Come on it's me, I'm yer best friend! Or least...back in my world I was yer, you remember this?" He pulled the scarf from his neck and showed it to James as he kept trying to remember who this kid was. He felt that tingling in the back of his head and it was starting to annoy him, but then he saw something. A red flag on the rooftops in a city far away, running fast in a race over the alleyways beneath. He remembered fire in the invasion of the city, Hillys was its name and it all clicked together finally. "...A-...A-a-a-alex?" The goat smiled at him wide. "Yeah! Thassit, see I knew you'd remember me!" "Jeez it's...been that long I never thought I would-" "Ever see me again?" "Well, yeah." "Well yer about to see everybody back in yer memories, long as you still remember them in some way." "What's with all these flowers?" "Oh, these?! Well, that's not all that's there, see?" He brushed his foot along the golden buttercups, kicking a few out of the way showing something that was underneath, some sort of purple glass that James looked weirdly at. "Huh? Is that...what is that?" "I dunno, maybe you wanna get rid of all these flowers first?" "Well, there's a lot of them and it's just..." "Uh...don't you have like some wind power or sumthin', dork?" "HEY, I'm not a dork for the last time I-...hey, wait you're right, DUH lemme just clean these out then." "Okay! But hey can I ask you sumthin' first?!" "Um...s-sure, shoot." "Alright...what...keeps you going, exactly?" "Huh?" "Like, the reason," asked Alex. "Why do you keep going? What's keeping you from not just stoppin' an' dyin' right here, like you had a lotta chances to before?" "What the shhhhheesh kinda question is that?!" "I'm just askin', come on! Just...I wanna know. Why do you keep going when all you ever talk about is just givin' up sometimes fer the best?" The question hit him hard, stopping James from thinking straight for a bit as he rubbed the back of his head. "I...I don't...really know honestly, I've just always been like this. I mean realising now after going through those memories I've always been running from something. Everything, whether it's from the police or that someTHING that was...th-th-that was out there trying to eat me." "So...you keep going because yer a coward?" "NO, I never said that!" "Then why do you keep going then?! Why do you keep fightin' an' runnin' an' always jumpin' into stuff?!" "I DUNNO! M-maybe it's...some kind of habit by this point, like I don't really wanna stop...because I don't know how to." "Well maybe...that's what's keepin' you alive right now." "Huh?" The goat Alex stepped back away from the flowers somehow managing to step into the darkness without falling as he smiled back at him. "Maybe that voice you can't hear inside you is the one you should be trying to listen to...the one that's telling you to never stop fighting back." "A-alex?" "Don't stop...never stop James, because if you do...yer gonna lose everythin' fer it so lemme give you a tip. This is YOUR world now, an' if you wanna do sumthin'...then you just have to wish fer it an' you can have it because here you are KING...an' you gotta take back yer kingdom from that demon inside you." The raptor smiled at hearing this, seeing what Alex was trying to say with a little pep talk from himself, or Alex, or his memory, he wasn't really sure who was talking to him at this point but he appreciated it still before Alex shouted: "So how 'bout that big gust of wind you got up yer sleeves, come on, lemme see ya blast all these flowers away in one PUSH!" "Heheh...alright, sure whatever then let's see you handle this then huh?" He braced himsed himself, putting all his powers forth through his nanos charging through his fists before it began to crackle and spark with hot blue as he slammed his hands down hard upon the flower field. Almost instantly there was gold in every direction, fluttering on the breeze all around him, trapped in a cyclone of his own creation whirling powerfully by a blast of wind. It only took a few seconds for him to sweep every flower petal off the floor to find out what he was standing on, and with each petal that crossed his vision, Alex started to fade from this place more and more. He now stood on a platform made of glass, with what looked like his face made out of beautiful patterns. It took him a bit to realise the shapes showing him were on a background of light purple, with light seeming to come from the other side or maybe shining from above. But he couldn't tell. The scissors were in the middle and made an X-shape upon the centre of the entire platform showing brown, green and purple only. He saw himself on the right side of the picture, floating with his eyes closed and body all curled up, facing towards the left. "Wh...wh-what is this, is that...is that really me?" The dark sky of Chicago was behind him in the far-off distance of the painted glass, purple clouds with black shadowy buildings as he saw four people's faces on each corner of the painting. Sarah on the top left smiling cocky, Kruz bottom right grinning with a wink, Koopin bottom left looking up with hope but nervous and lastly Roy on the top right looking serious with sad look in his eyes. Kirie however was on the top of the picture spanning across the entire banner with arms wide gleefully cackling. He felt weirdly calm when he looked upon his own image but then he realised that he was all alone once again. "H-hey, wait, Alex?! ALEX?! Where'd you g-...ugh, fuck what the hell?! First he gives me a pep talk and then he just disappears, I don't get it! I don't get any of this, I don't even know where to START inside this I just want-...I'm remembering a lotta stuff and that THING th-that...no. No, fuck it, fuck that guy, you gotta focus on this. Let's see, there must be a way outta this place." He walked to one edge of the platform before gazing down into a murky darkness, finding himself to be on the top of a tall pillar which had smaller cathedral-styled windows all around him. He tried to think out his plan, murmuring to himself loudly while walking back to the middle of the central circle. "So...I have to find him, I have to find the demon that's in me so then I've got to go deeper, right? Hm...well...maybe I can...wait. Wait this IS my mind right? Even if it is kind of blank at the moment, heh, so I just-it's like a dream, right?! I can do anything in a dream! Yeah, THAT'S IT!" He clapped his hands together. "OKAY, where do I start, ummmm...think think, if I can just like think maybe a doorway or something out of here maybe I can...right." James stood with his eyes closed trying to imagine a nice normal door for a way out, pushing his hands out as if trying to make one come out of his nanos but nothing would come through. He tried harder, groaning as he strained his head thinking really firmly on a door until he felt something bright shining up before him. A door began to form in front of him out of a cloud of dust growing like a plant, shaped kind of like a pentagon without any paint on its wooden front and somewhat smaller than an actual door would be. "Hey....this looks kinda familiar."

He tried to think where he had seen a door like this, scratching his head at how it only reached maybe 5'6'' before he opened it. He was trying not to be too surprised at everything, but the next area he ended up in really threw him off. Not because it was any different, it was another big glass platform shaped like a big circle but because of who was in it. It was Koopin painted in it. Green rolling hills with perfect blue sky with shining star above the world, Koopin was curled up along the left side of the platform facing right with his eyes open wide with perfect blue. His green shell had the same odd two arrow markings pointing up like grooves on his back, his yellow skin like soft buttery milk as his hands reached towards the star. The four corners had his mother Klair singing a note from her throat on the top left, his father Shelldon smiling behind his bifocals on the top right, a shy guy bottom left that James did not recognise and lastly bottom right had a barking chain chomp called Charlie. The banner at the top showed a blooper, stretching his long tentacles white and pure across the entire thing but James could only smile at the painting of his love. He went down on his knees to get closer to his face and stroked the glass which was strangely warm to touch. Like it was his warmth inside of it. "...that's my answer for you Alex. If anything else, I'm doing it for him. Always-...huh?" Looking up, he saw three human kids sitting on three podiums looking right at him, all of them boys. From left to right, one wore a brown jacket with a pug nose, short black hair and eyes that squinted constantly, one was much taller than the other two with blonde hair, green hoodie and a lean face with sloping nose, and the last one was the shortest with pudgy belly and rose cheeks with a white t-shirt and brown hair. James almost instantly recognised them jumping up on his feet. "W-w-w-...T-tommy?! Roy, Jack!" The three smiled as Tommy spoke first with eyes still squinting. "Hehehe, hey James!" "Whussup?" said Jack coolly. "HIYA JAMES!" shouted Roy. "Wooow it...it's been like YEARS since we um...e-even seen each other." "Um, it still is, we're not REALLY here Roy." "Whu-you-...awwwww. I wanted to see him!" "We're just memories," said Tommy, "don't forget, I mean we're just here, yanno, hangin', chillin', bein' cool like always heheh." "Heheheh," said James, "right, totally. Um...s-so, what are you doing here exactly?" "I'unno." They all shrugged at the same time. "We're just...HERE, I guess, I mean you're tryin' to get inside yerself deeper aren't you?" "Yeah." "So what?" said Jack. "What do we do about it?" "We could help!" said Roy. "I mean, we gotta help right?!" "Yeah totally!" shouted Tommy, "yer the FinalGamer remember?! Yer our buddy!" "I...oh yeah." James smiled giggling at remembering. "I am, totally! Hah, holy shhhhheesh I forgot all about that nearly, jeez man." "How could you forget?! You were the one that lead Team Shoryuken onto the finals at the arcade tournament in Fourside, come ON!" "YEAH!" shouted Roy. "You even got a HUGE ton o' money fer it!" "I still do," said James, "I think Koopin still has it even in my wardrobe...heh, not like it's worth anything unless I go back to your world." "Maybe you should...you could buy a loooooot of pizza with that." "Roy," said Jack, "come on, think big. You can buy like, an arcade with that kinda money." "OOOOH! YEAH, yer own arcaaaaade that would be awesome, an' then, an' then we get FREE passes to play all the GAMES we want!" "But seriously," said Tommy, "we...kinda wanna ask you something." "Yeah?" said FG. "What's that?" The three boys looked at each other as if reading each other's thoughts to try and ask the big question before Tommy asked: "Well it's...kinda hard to ask but um...heh, me, Jack an' Roy were kinda wonderin' about this an' we wanna-" "Just ASK him," said Jack annoyed. "Okay okay! Firstly, we gotta question fer ya?" "Oh jeez," said FG, "um, okay fine ask me." "Secondly...well, question I guess um...what's more important to you, courage, knowledge or kindness?" "Huh? What kind of dumb question is that?" "J-just answer it." "Is this like what Alex was doing to me trying to get inside my head?" "UM, maybe I dunno! Aren't you already inside your head?" "Well please don't, it's getting weird hearing it from you three." "But we have to ask these questions!" cried Roy. "I-i-if you don't, you can't get past this place!" "Why not?!" "Because then you wouldn't know whut to do!" "That isn't...I already don't know what to do, I'm literally standing on a weird freaking glass window talking to three kids I remember from years ago, inside my head! Frankly I should be in an insane asylum already!" "Well you're not," said Jack, "so maybe until you are, you wanna answer these questions and maybe figure out where the hell you're going?" "I could just imagine a door or something?" "To where?" "I DUNNO, someplace!?" The boys looked at each other again like monkeys at a zoo, mocking the people on the other side of the glass before Tommy said: "Look maybe we can help you out, if you just answer this for us." "Why should I answer it?" "Because these are important, about YOURSELF. If you don't even know yourself how the heck are you gonna know where to find the demon?!" "HOW DO YOU-...okay, okay, right just...what are you gonna do if I answer this question?" "We'll give you a hint!" shouted Roy. "Yanno like a big clue!" "Okay fine, whatever Tommy you wanted to know my answer?" "Yeah?" he asked. But James looked down at his feet seeing the answer already before him. "Can I choose all three?" "Uh-uh, it has to be one of them." "Ugh I hate these, okay fine, it's...kindness." "Why?" "Because...to me, I realised that courage is always good but being a good person is more important, there are a lot of things it takes to be courageous. Fighting for your beliefs, standing up against people...killing other people that are a lot more fearsome than you, or even just going into some godawful place to try and help people with like, medicine and stuff that's courage too. But...it wasn't courage that brought me friends. It wasn't courage that brought me Koopin or made Roy, not you, the other Roy." "Oh," said Roy. "That made Roy become my friend instead of an enemy. It wasn't courage that gave me Kruz as pretty much the best friend I ever had honestly, so yeah I think both are really important...but it's like, it's one thing like courage that can break through hatred or a real bad situation but it's kindness that brings people together. And knowledge...knowledge is important yeah but, in the end it's kind of relative? Like I know how to fix a bike, but that didn't mean anything in Ivalice. Dahlia knew all these things about philosophy and politics but that wouldn't have helped her if she was in the wasteland, you know what DOES help you in any world? Friends. People that help you because you're nice to them. "And in the end I think it's much better to have some people unite together out of kindness so they can stand against anything, than perhaps one guy just fighting alone without anyone by his side because of his courage, or trying to defy someone with just knowledge. Friendship was the only thing that ever helped me survive really in every...place......wow. I just...wow." He started to realise why the question was so important and chuckled nervously. "Every place I went to, I made friends somehow...and because I made friends I managed to survive much longer, Kirie, you three, Diana, Leiah...Clan Koridai, even that um...s-sailor dude from way back I got through with him too. I didn't just get here on my own, I couldn't have done it on my own. E-even with all my powers and stuff I still needed people...heh." "Wow." Tommy grinned with a nod of approval. "That's pretty good, if I was a teacher I'd be givin' you an A!" "Heh, thanks, be the first A I ever got." "Hahaha! Alrigh', Roy!" "Yeah?!" asked Roy. "Get off yer podium an' give James what he's wantin'." "OH, o-o-okay!" The smallest boy leapt off his podium and stumbled slightly with waddling feet, walking up towards the raptor and handing over something. It was a tiny yellow star with black beady eyes just like the ones he saw in symbols of the Mushroom Kingdom. "What's this?" asked FG. "Put it on that star," said Roy, "you'll find yer way outta here." "Um...are you sure?" "Why wouldn't I be?! Aren't you sure yerself?" "I'm not really in a position to be SURE of anything Roy." "Heheh...just do it ya dummy." "Pfft, fine dummy, look at you, three monkeys sitting around waiting for peanuts."

The boys all giggled as James walked over to the star on the mosaic glass as he planted the smaller star into it. The moment he did, a bright light suddenly blinded him pure and radiantly yellow as it completely swallowed him. When the light disappeared, he found himself in a large wide open space of rocky plains in the dead of night. Bare without any grass or plants anywhere but there was light shining across the place. Glowing green rocks shaped like tiny stars, dozens of them everywhere around him. A starry road laid out before him. He walked across the plains seeing there was another much bigger star shape with an actual keyhole inside of it, and as he walked he heard all the voices from within each star with a tiny wish from someone he knew. Someone he met. All the friends he ever made whispering across his memories. I hope James is still out there somewhere safe I wish he wasn't so angry all the time, bow-wow Why didn't he come to me about Bob? I wish Max stopped trying to steal buses on Saturdays I wish James hadn't run away...mein armer Junge I hope my mate...will come back and see our children...someday I wish I coulda thanked him fer givin' me a family, or at least fer savin' me from bein' taken I hope Meta Knight comes over to have dinner, we made biscotti even! I hope that boy hath managed to return home safely I hope James is okay...I know Fayne wishes for it too Man I really hope the next Street Fighter game is good! I hope I find someone as brave as him to be wedded to...my hero I wish Jonny wasn't so sad all the time...I wish I could make him happy I believe in you James. I believe you can stop the demon and save Isaac Please come back James. P-please...come back to me...I just...I just want to hold you again. He knew whose one wish that was as he stopped, clutching his chest as he felt a deep ache in his heart, falling onto his knees and clutching at the one starry rock he heard that wish from. He tried to whisper back to it holding it tightly against his chest. "I will...I promised you I would...I won't break that promise, I know...I-i-i know I can do it. I just don't know how yet...but I can do it. I'll be back soon...alright Koopin? I promise." He gently put the rock back down after kissing it and kept walking as he heard more voices, passing through the world of memories and dreams as he saw the big giant star in front of him with its keyhole looming greatly before him. _I hope Sophelie is still happy with me I hope Alestes is happy with me I 'ope the lemmings managed to live free...without me I should have been able to save more of them I wish Arino stopped doubting himself, even after our freedom I hope James comes back...he wasn't my master, he was my friend I hope the company mom and dad worked for get what's coming to them I wish Grounder was LESS stupid sometimes! Yeah, well I wish YOU were less stupid! You don't TELL people your wish you dummy! How are people gonna know whut you want if you never tell 'em?! TH-THAT WASN'T MY WISH ANYWAY! Well whut is it then?! I don't have a wish! I have YOU alright, yer like a brother to me okay?! Well...I don't got a wish either cuz, I have you too...buddy! Brother buddy! I hope my parents aren't upset about me...I wanted adventure but...I didn't want them to be upset I wish I could have told dad that I was sorry I wish we were back home with mom I wish I had told Leiah that I was sorry I hope my dads have enough time to see me and Areh Ah wan' James to come back sumtahm an' see whut we made! I hope one day I can get rid of this fucking body I just want Darryl to be happy with himself one day I cannot face being alone again...not after such companionship I...I could have stopped you Berniere. Why...did this happen, kupo? I hope...Navarro actually does want me I hope James will be alright...I know Kruz must be worried for him I don't want to live forever...I don't...want to see my brother go before me I just wanted you to be my friend...dearthair. Why couldn't you trust me? I wish...everyone was dead so I can become truly alone at last...and I can stop feeling this pain inside me. _ That last wish sent fear through James' heart, knowing even in whispers what that voice had to belong to. Even in his deepest wish there still laid evil of selfish intents. But that second last wish he did not recognise at all, wondering who it could be as he finally reached the giant star with the keyhole. He had to stop for a moment when he realised he had been crying the past few minutes hearing everybody's hopes and dreams as he saw the keyhole slowly expand out before him. Turning wider and taller as if welcoming him in, he walked forwards inside the darkness. In the black infinite of the keyhole, there was nothing for him waiting. No voice, no sound, not even his own footsteps. He kept walking on in front of him, not wanting to get lost in the darkness everywhere around him until he soon saw something up ahead. A pale light blinking softly on the ground and when James came close after a straight minute of walking he soon found another starry rock with a wish from inside of it. He heard a voice deep and trembling that would break his heart slightly. Ah just wanna find out thuh truth...ah wish...ah just wish ah could learn whut happened to mah parents. Even if ah can't do anythin' about it, ah just need to know...ah can't move on with mahself until ah know thuh truth. Ah don't even care about justice anymore...ahm just so tired of all this. Ahm sorry...FG. The light from the rock slowly grew like a burning green fire from his hands that dripped onto the floor revealing something. Something that he was standing on which slowly grew in its colours that would bleed from the starry rock in blue, black and brown droplets. Roy's face started to appear, his eyes closed with blue rings around them as he stood in the very centre of the painted circle's patterning slowly filling out from the rock's paint born of wishes and dreams. He stood like a knight defiant with both hands on the handle of his blade, the wicked Great Knife with old rusted surface. Behind Roy was an ancient castle of some medieval descript, perfectly embodying him as the knight he always claimed himself to be with a royal titled banner displayed across the top of the painting glass with horseshoe right in the middle. The four portraits showed presumably a mare with strongly defiant eyes on the top left, a very young argonian wearing a blindfold curiously smiling on the top right, a chocobo that was presumably Cyrus on the bottom left and lastly on bottom right, was a rather strange-looking human of thin head, beady eyes and wearing a top hat whilst smiling politely. The raptor knelt feeling himself rather weak hearing Roy's words, the other raptor that he had known confused and betrayed by all he once was as he wished in turn. "I wanted to help you...I just...I know you were just a victim as much as I was from the A.R.M.E...we both got used for this, just to be somebody's weapon, just a tool...I wanted to make you something better, like maybe being a friend or...s-something. I'm sorry Roy. I'm...I-i'm sorry." "Sorry for what?" He heard someone in front of him, another human kid with blue eyes, pale skin and ginger hair with a white school polo shirt, blood faintly across the front. "You an' Roy were like...the best team, he would forgive you." "...Michael?" "Didn't he say sorry to you already, when you met back in Ivalice? He knows it's not your fault." "That doesn't mean...that I didn't fail him. He's gone, and all he wanted was to know the truth, I promised I would find it for him!" "He knew that...but yanno, sometimes you gotta accept when things are out of yer hands." "No I don't. I saved you, remember? If I just accepted that I could have let you die out in that city full of zombies but I didn't, I took you through the place! Roy did too, he was a good guy!" "Course he was! But...you can't keep kicking yerself over stuff that happened or, keep blamin' yerself on stuff you weren't even involved in." "Roy's dead because of that demon in me. I can't NOT be responsible." "You're not controllin' the demon! So it's not yer fault, right?! Nobody blames you FG, not fer what he does." "You sure about that?" "Totally. I never did." "Huh?" "So, I have a question fer you." "Oh god, another one?" "This is the last one, then we're gonna get you outta this darkness to someplace else, alright? Pinkie promise." Michael raised his little finger with a sheepish grin giggling as the raptor rolled his eyes making his way over to complete it, wrapping his tiniest claw round it carefully. "Alright, pinkie promise." "Heheheh...alright, last question. What hurts you more, your guilt...or your fear?" "What?" "Which one's worse?" "...well...guilt obviously." "Why?" "If I'm afraid then I'm afraid, but that's in the moment, if I can push through that it's like a choice, it's the...I can't be so afraid of something in the past, but guilt always stays with me no matter what. Like it SHOULD." "Why? Isn't it bad to feel guilty?" "Well...no, I think it's a good thing, because it makes me realise what I did wasn't good, and that I made mistakes, yeah I've done stuff that was pretty bad and that guilt inside me is my punishment for it, I can't ever feel good about it because I was wrong. I did something wrong and it's good that I feel guilty because it means I won't be happy with what I did, which is something I should never have done in the first place. Whereas fear...that's trying to STOP you from doing something which you either will regret for doing if it's something stupid like a cliff jump, or you will regret for NOT doing...like when I almost...ran away when Dar-Ma was trapped in...that hell place." "Is that really what you think?" "Yeah...yeah I do, it's guilt that's much worse, because you have that it means you did something bad already. Fear isn't a punishment." "Heheh, that's good. That's pretty good...you're not as stupid as you think you'd be." "What?!" "Anyways, you wanna get out of this place? Take that horseshoe over there and pull on it. You'll find a way out then." "O-okay...um...thanks." The boy waved at him before he walked away into the darkness off of thin air as the raptor knelt down beside the horseshoe feeling at its paint. He then saw that it had been wedged in and painted over as part of the actual glass, but he could still pull at it like a door handle as he tried pulling it back. Slowly the glass opened up like a trapdoor showing a staircase downwards inside the actual pillar. The handle came off the door as soon as it was open, creaking like a thin piece of wood. "Woah...heh...the horseshoe. The seeker so she called him...I guess that must be important huh." Without a satchel and still in a teenage body, he put the horseshoe in his pocket and walked down into the staircase which went on deep, deep into the underground of this place, this other world inside of him. There was a faint purple glow inside the pillar with its long black corridor but there was light someplace down at the very end. The more he walked the more radiant the light was, showing parts of the wall that started trickling green paint down inbetween the cracks. Instead of cracks though, it was showing numbers flickering back and forth, letters and punctuation signs, brackets and hashtags like weird coding. "What the hell?" All around him the place breathed with transcript coding from a thousand different places, bleeding static out of the walls but not enough to pierce into his head, more like a buzzing noise that set every nerve in his brain to trigger off with constant tingling. It felt annoying and strange as he clutched his head, staggering forwards as he groaned with eyes getting blurry all over. The last time he felt something like this was when he fought that anomaly, but it wasn't quite like the same, not as piercing or painful as he kept walking through towards the bleary light up ahead. Every step he took was a much bigger effort than the last, every breath he took was more difficult as he stumbled onwards with a hand over his eyes shielding himself from the headache growing inside of him as he tried to look forwards but it was turning into a struggle. Before he knew it, the static rose to a screaming crescendo as he finally pushed through into the light and felt the sun on his face for the first time in what felt like years. Blinding his eyes and ears completely. The light began to fade showing a city in eternal sunset, as the sound of huge iron doors slammed shut with the steel crate now behind him completely closing up permanently. The city sounds came to his ears hustling and bustling as he saw bits and pieces of the world around around him, a long grand riverbank of the wide open waters separating between two sides of the city. It wasn't until he saw the great eternal clock tower fortified with ancient iron rebuilt into a golden pedestal of Time's great defiance that he knew where he was. Westminster's quarters rang true chiming down at six o'clock, Greenwich Mean Time. "...it's...it's my home. It's...no I'm...back in London again?"