Amber's 69 First Dates - Talk Hard
#13 of Amber's Stories
"Talk hard, I like that. It's like a dirty thought in a nice clean mind."
-
Amber doesn't necessarily need more friends. She actually has a perfectly
normal social life, much to her surprise and delight. But what she does
need, sometimes, is someone to talk to.
Not her friends, not her parents... sometimes it helps just to throw everything
out into the void, and see what echoes back.
Then again, sometimes the void clamors for more...
-
"Eat your cereal with a fork and do your homework in the dark."
Amber's 69 First Dates
-
Part 11 - Talk Hard
by
Dissident Love
Copyright
June 2014
All characters contained herein are
unfortunately fictional. Any resemblance
to any actual persons, living or dead,
would be amazing and slightly terrifying,
because we're just not meant to endure
that much physical perfection.
Dear Diary,
Sometimes even just buying a book
seems like too much work, you know?
Me and Cindycakes went to the Book Barn,
so I could get some technical know-how for
the show, and maybe some cookbooks to
help out Mom with the food budget.
"How to Make a Month's Worth of Meals
in One Day", that sort of thing.
We ran into some nice people at the
store, and, well... let's just say
that's a story for another day, 'kay?
Long story short, I finally got the new
furniture I wanted. I felt a little bad
about wrecking the bed, since it WAS
a nice bed, but this new one is guaranteed
to last me for a long time. I just wish Mom
wouldn't keep saying that's the one that
she and Dad use, because... eugh. Not cool.
But I got the show up and running! I still
don't think there's any local people
tuning in yet, but the Interwebs are
a big place, and if you look hard enough,
you can find anything, or anyone...
"Are you starting soon? I keep hitting 'refresh', but all I get is this black box and a message that the media connection has failed. You better be starting soon! Are you starting soon? Dammit, same message! Stupid mouse!"
Amber sighed, holding the phone slightly away from her ear while Cindy railed and ranted against the unfairness of the Universe. "No, I haven't started yet, and if you could tell time, like a big kid, you'd know that the show starts when the little hand is on the ten."
"What little hand? What sort of clocks are you looking at?"
The cream-and-gold kitteh rolled her oversized eyes but couldn't suppress a chuckle. "Yeah, yeah, rub it in, why don't you. My parents have stuff downstairs that's from, like, the fucking Stone Age. There's music on tapes."
_ _
"Freaky!"
It was Friday night, and her parents were out for their newly-traditional 'Date Night'. It had started some weeks earlier, after the incident that had become known simply as 'The Incident' resulted in Amber getting a fairly impressive redecoration budget. She curled up in her new overstuffed chair, which would have been a loveseat had she anyone to share it with, and admired the bedroom which was finally feeling like it truly belonged to her, and no-one else. "And since I know you're going to keep calling in," Amber continued, rolling onto her back and examining her outfit, "when I hang up I'm going to unplug the phone."
"Awwww!" the vixen screeched over the line. "That's not fair!"
"It's very fair. In fact, it is very nearly the definition of fair, since everyone else just has to use the chat window. If you use the chat window, too, then it's perfectly fair."
"Well, it's fair for THEM, but it's not fair for ME!"
"Remind me to buy you a dictionary."
"I don't think I can set foot in that book store again..."
"Did shi ever call?" Amber joked, remembering the strange purple bunny and hir blue shark-friend.
"Oh, you shut up, you know shi didn't," Cindy huffed, voice tinged with sadness.
"Did shi ruin you for all other men?"
"Not all..." the popular cheerleader giggled. "Dammit, grrl, I wish you'd let me tell people about your show! You thought you were popular before-"
"I don't want that kind of popularity!" Amber insisted. "ESPECIALLY not in high school. For once it's nice to be popular, but... anonymous. You know?"
She could hear her best friend mulling that concept over. "No," Cindy eventually replied.
"Slut."
"Bitch."
"You love it. Do you know how many dates I had to turn down so I could tune into your show? Archer was going to come over and give me a full-body massage, but no-o-o, I told him I had to do HOMEWORK! You are social life PLAGUE!"
"I'm not making you watch my show," Amber said airily. "And you know I record it, and I can let you watch it tomorrow."
"It's not the same."
"Then I guess I should just be happy I've got at least one rabid fan," the kitteh snickered. "But it's time for me to hang up, ok? I gotta double-check everything."
"Just tell me what you're wearing for the show-"
"You can find out in, like, thirty seconds!"
"JUST TELL ME HOW BIG YOU ARE RIGHT N-"
Amber sighed again, thumbing the Off button on the phone and tossing it over her shoulder. She then promptly reached down and yanked the phone cord out of the wall, half-expecting the unit to ring before she had a chance to. "Jeez, Cindy," she said fondly, "maybe you just scared Shelly off!"
She stood, stretched, and surveyed her domain. Her bedroom was quite large for such a diminutive feline, and was thankfully no longer eye-wrenchingly tooth-rottingly pink. Her fanciful princess bed had been replaced by a vast, low and sprawling memory-foam landscape adorned with rich, violet satin sheets and a small herd of pillows. One corner contained her new loveseat and bookshelves, which she had set up as a reading nook. The corner by the window held a small makeup desk and a huge two-panel mirror, which was enormously helpful when the shockingly-dimensioned kitteh was trying on outfits for the day. The final portion of her room, tucked away near the closet and as far as possible from her parents room and any prying ears, was her workstation, complete with executive swivel-chair, high-powered computer for 'homework' and the brand-new webcam purchased with her allowance.
She waddled over to the computer, flicked the mouse to deactivate the Nyan Cat screensaver, and booted up her webstreaming suite.
"Showtime," she purred.
More than two thousand miles away, on the northwestern arm of the great coastal mountain range, in a small fishing town populated almost entirely by people who found the rest of the world 'uppity', a young couple curled up in a drafty attic bedroom with an incongruously sleek laptop, a bowl of popcorn and a sixer of Pilsner.
"So are you going to give me any hints?" asked the spotted sealboy, curling up comfortably against his grrlfriend's flanks. "You've been twitchy all night. Normally, I like that side of you... it means you're up to something..."
The mattress's other occupant, a sleek if unusually-proportioned Eastern brown bear named Lyssa, just grinned. "No," shi said primly, popping the top on a can with practiced ease. "But it's something you'll appreciate. You might even find it inspiring."
"Yeah, but-"
"SHH! It's starting!"
Rikki shrugged and shifted his weight again. As they spent many evenings, shi lay on hir side, hir colossally overfilled sac resting heavily behind hir, sweat pants straining to keep hir sheath in one place. Rikki sat behind hir, body against the backs of hir thighs, his arms wrapped around one immense teste, nuzzling it lovingly. He didn't know how many hours of Netflix they had watched like this, but he couldn't think of any better way to pass the cold coastal nights.
Tonight wasn't Netflix, though. Tonight was some sort of web show, apparently titled 'HHHH'. He reached across hir legs and snagged his own beverage, letting his paws linger on the vast glory of hir sheath. Shi twitched and jiggled all over, swatting playfully at his hand. "Stop that!"
The screen, which had been largely a featureless black, suddenly sparked to life, revealing a fairly nondescript bedroom. "-cking thing never works on the first try," came a pleasant, if frustrated, female voice. "I swear, this thing was designed by fu... oh, hey! DAMMIT! Sorry, everyone, just a second! Technical... whatevers!"
There was a blur of golden fur and the screen flashed with a red and green animated title card. Upbeat rock music filled the darkened attic, a song that neither of them recognized but which seemed vaguely appropriate.
Rikki squinted. "The Hyper Herm Happy Hour?"
"It's awesome!" Lyssa squealed, reaching back to ruffle Rikki's short, silvery mane. "She's this adorable kitteh from down south somewhere, and she started doing this web show thing a couple weeks ago. I heard about it from my HSG peeps."
"Love that site," he grinned. The Hyper Support Group, while strictly not an 'adult' website, still managed to attract quite a number of fans, himself included. "Is this a traditional cam show, or does she, like, give helpful cooking tips, too?"
"It's not THAT sort of a cam show," shi snickered. "At least, not most of the time. I think this is... OOH SHE'S BACK!"
When the intro music finished, the screen once again showed the breathless kitteh. She was undoubtedly very pretty, tonight wearing a snug, low-cut green tank top and a sparkly silver tiara. "Hi, everyone!" she said happily, waving at the screen. "Hold on, I'm still getting used to the setup, let me move back a little bit... ok, there we go. Let's see, how many do we... cool, sixty-six people in the chat room! Wow, that's already up from last week! Hey, and it's sixty-nine now! Awesome! I am drunk with fame."
"No fair, I'm only drunk with beer," Rikki grinned.
"I'll bop you," his grrlfriend warned.
"With what?" he replied innocently.
"Shhh!"
"Let's see, with that many people logged in, I've got, like, two hundred tokens free to give out," the hostess was saying. "You all know how this works right? Well, for those of you that don't, the more tokens you get from ME, for saying nice things and not being jerkwads, the more levels you gain in the system, and when you gain more levels you get to do cool stuff like change your text color and even, someday, message me directly! And don't forget that you can all send ME tokens, which helps to pay for this show!"
"And since I'm still paying for this out of my paper route money," she winked, taking a long swig from an enormous, garishly-colored aluminum can, "it's time for me to pimp my corporate sponsor in the hopes that someday they really WILL sponsor me. The Hyper Herm Happy Hour is brought to you by my favorite energy drink, Cunt Nectar. Don't let the name scare you off, folks... drench your throats with Cunt Nectar."
Rikki and Lyssa were both laughing now, watching the hostess hold the can right up to the camera. "I think they sell that down at the AM-PM," the leopard seal said, snuggling up a little higher to both see better, and to try and get his arm more comfortably draped across a sheath larger than a scuba tank. "I wonder what you'd be like all hopped up on caffeine and ginseng."
Lyssa stifled a snort. "I don't think you'd survive that, honey," the sleek brown bear said doubtfully, even as hir sac rumbled and swelled by several gallons. "Oh, now look what you did."
"Anyways," the screen chirped. "I'm your hostess, the Happy Hyper, but you can call me Amber. Everyone else does, when they're not begging me to stop growing. Tonight's episode is going to be about... no, User16329, they don't ALWAYS beg me to stop. I make them sign a waiver first. Anyways, tonight's episode is going to be about some product reviews, things I've tried out this week, some fashion tips and maybe some dating advice, I will subject you to the brutal torture of listening to me sing and then we'll answer some fan mail, because some of you have nothing better to do with your time than ask me stuff. Gods bless you!"
"Product reviews?" Rikki echoed. "What sorts of products?"
"Shh!"
The image on the screen jiggled slightly as Amber adjusted the camera, aiming it slightly down. Dominating the background was a huge, low bed that looked like it could comfortably sleep half a dozen normal anthros. The kitteh clipped a tiny microphone to one floppy ear and stood up, moving carefully over to the vast expanse of purple sheets, and Rikki suddenly understood why she was the hostess.
"As you can see," Amber said, easing herself onto the bed, "I've let myself get a little carried away tonight, just to make a better dress dummy." The cream-and-gold feline was maybe five and a half feet tall, slender and well-proportioned, but below her snug green tank top she wore a pink leotard that strained with impossible tenacity around a hermness that nearly outdid Lyssa. Standing up, her sac obscured everything between her waist and her shins, and the sheath stuffed in above looked every inch as large as her torso. "I don't USUALLY go out this big, but I know some of you do, and hey, big is beautiful, and don't let anyone tell you different!"
Rikki's almost non-existent ears wriggled, hearing his lover's breathing accelerate, hir large but still proportional breasts heaving beneath hir sweater. So that's why you like this show, he thought to himself, hugging hir nethers gently and giving hir hip a quick kiss. It's always nice to hear words like this from someone like you...
"Now, in keeping with my show's no-nudity policy, I'm going to keep the leotard on. Yes, yes, I can see all the protests filling the chat room, but this is MY show, and I'm pretty sure some of you lied about your age when you joined up, so just deal with it." She grinned and winked at the camera, and dozens of chat-alert beeps could just barely be heard as the viewers argued the matter. "Even so, the first item I'm going to be reviewing is the leotard itself. This is a MacroBound Sleek And Silky, size four-X short, retailing for $22.95 at Addition-Elle..."
Rikki let his hands wander, as they so often did, while they watched the show. Lyssa worked six days a week as a call centre technician, a job that modern technology let hir do from hir bedroom. Other than getting hir mail from the neighborhood kiosk down the street, which shi was loathe to do when it was light out, shi rarely if ever left hir house. When Rikki met hir online, shi had been posting about hir loneliness and hir inability to move away from town, having just enough money to get by but not enough to pick up stakes and take off for parts unknown. The older seal lived a few towns further north, but he was more than happy to come down to attempt to woo hir.
Their first several dates had all taken place entirely within hir house, despite his attempts to get hir to get out more. Shi wasn't ashamed of hir body, and quite far from it shi was almost madly proud of hir curves and what shi could do with them, much to Rikki's delight, but shi was painfully shy. A dozen admiring glances from passers by could be completely undone by one person's disgusted expression. Slowly, slowly, he was getting hir to come out of hir shell, but even he was getting discouraged.
But seeing this Happy Hyper, this Amber, proudly beaming herself across the world and declaring that big was beautiful, and seeing the adoration on Lyssa's eyes, Rikki was very, very grateful. "Someone's getting some tokens next paycheck," he whispered to himself, gently working one small paw beneath hir waistband.
"What was that?"
"Nothing, love, nothing. Let's just watch."
Over the next fifteen minutes, taking the occasional break to waddle out of camera view to haul new items out of her closet, Amber tried on a series of skirts, pants, shorts, and even a pair of stretch-flannel pyjamas. Most of the items, specifically designed for hypers, passed with excellent reviews, but the pyjamas barely survived the initial dressing stage. One sneeze later, and Amber nearly broke her own nudity policy.
"Sorry about that, folks!" she laughed, walking back into camera-frame and wearing her favorite item, a voluminous wrap that both accentuated her slender waist even as it highlighted the sheer circumference of her nethers. "Minor wardrobe malfunction!"
She settled herself back into her chair, tapping away and peering at her own screen, just as Shane eased himself back into his own seat. "No... worries..." he typed quickly, fingers moving nimbly. "Happens... to... all... of... us."
Amber skimmed through a few responses and smiled. "I don't think it happens to ALL of us, Ponista," she winked. "Though perhaps some of my lovely audience members are a bit more prone to it. Wow, there's more than a hundred of you people now! Don't you have anything better to do on a Friday night?"
"Not... really..." Shane typed with one hand, popping salt-and-vinegar chips into his mouth with the other. "What... about... you? You... should... be... out... party... ing..."
The kitteh took a swig of her energy drink and read the flurry of responses. "Thank you... thank you... thank you... no, I'm not getting naked, you're getting kicked out of the chat room, goodbye... and me? Partying? I'm not so much the party type."
Far from Circe, but far to the south, in a part of the world that only cooled down to 'frigging hot' when the sun set, Shane smiled. "Oh... really?" the young, delicately-featured poni typed. "What... about... New... Year's... Eve?"
"I think for our next segment, I'm going to review a couple... what about New Years Eve?" Amber leaned in close to read the screen, eyes narrowing. "What do you mean, New Years Eve? How-"
Shane finished typing his response, already anticipating her reaction, and leaned back. The svelte equine was a hyper, and though not quite as large as Amber seemed during this particular show, he more than made up for sheer mass with quantity. Safe within his bedroom, door locked from all possible intruders, he generally enjoyed to walk around free and unfettered. He ran his palms down each of his twin sheaths, four oversized balls forcing his legs far apart, and felt them shudder in response.
"... all over YouTube," Amber read, and sighed. "Dangit. I was hoping _that_wouldn't surface for a little while, or at least there wouldn't be much connection. Yes, Ponista, you're very smart, and you get a token, but for now, maybe hush up, kay?"
Even as she said that, Shane's, aka Ponista's, chat window started to fill up with private messages, inquiring about the New Year's incident. Truthfully, he had only been guessing about the New Year's videos, which showed a very well-endowed feline and a very well-endowed skunkette engaging in some very exciting acrobatics, but even the best videos were still shaky, shot from long-distance and in generally poor focus. Even so, how many hyper-herm felines, with that coloring, were there likely to be in the world?
His twin tails swayed behind him, sheaths plumping up as he moved his browser windows around and watched the New Year's video for the hundredth, the thousandth time. "Sorry," he typed into chat. "I... am... a... HUGE... fan..."
The token icon flashed and beeped, finally graduating Shane to Level 2 and giving him the opportunity to change his font color. He hastily selected purple, typed a frantic series of thank-yous into chat, and then forced himself to stop. He dearly wanted Amber to notice him, but he also didn't want to be one of 'those' fans, the kind that never shuts up and soon becomes more of a burden than a blessing.
Amber shook her head ruefully, running her oversized paws back through her mop of blonde hair. "Let that be a lesson to you people... EVERYTHING is on the Internet, and the Internet never forgets. That's just one reason why I'm keeping everything under wraps." She loudly patted her burgeoning assets to drive the point home. "Now, as I was _saying..._it's time for some product reviews."
Shane leaned back, shifting his hips forwards so his slowly-filling sac could rest on the ground. He was deceptively strong for his size, but that was still a lot of weight! Hooves scraping carefully on the floor he nudged his chair closer, sliding his wildly disproportionate bulk beneath the specially-built desk. His parents were very understanding about his condition, and from the sounds of it, so were Amber's. He opened one of the desk's many drawers and took out a small cardboard box filled with various-sized and -colored bottles.
"Tonight, due to overwhelmingly popular requests, I'm going to review a couple lubricants," Amber grinned lasciviously. "And special thanks once more to Ponista, who gave me several wonderful recommendations. You sound like you have a lot of experience in this area, Ponista!"
"Not... as... much... as... my... partners..." he typed.
"HAH! I'll bet!" Amber said, dropping another token onto his account. "I definitely needed some knowledge in this area! Now, no, before all of you start salivating all over your keyboards, I won't be demonstrating them on-camera."
The chat box filled up with cries of despair, which only made her laugh harder. "I suppose I should take that as a compliment! No, I reviewed a different one every day this week, and I got my good friend... let's call him 'Señor Goat'... to help me out with one or two of them."
"Lucky... goat..." Shane typed, even though thirty other people typed the exact same thing. His sheaths were already bumping against the underside the desk, thickening inch by wonderful inch with the ribald thoughts Amber always inspired in the young poni. Shane's boyfriend was usually busy on Friday nights, either practicing with his band or actually playing somewhere, and Shane's girlfriend was out of town visiting relatives.
Tomorrow, though, the three had a picnic planned, and it was difficult for Shane to keep his paws off of himself until then. He had promised, though... a week's worth of build-up was nearly driving him mad, to say nothing of making walking nearly impossible, but it was going to be very worth it. I'm going to have to show them this show, he thought. It might give them some ideas...!
"The first one I'm going to talk about," Amber said, holding up a tiny bottle of clear, pinkish goo, "is Cherry Popper. Billed as 'a girl's best friend', the cherry flavor actually wasn't that bad, but I found that it didn't last very long, and the coverage left something to be desired. It took almost the entire bottle just to get me all slicked up, and that was before I started growing..."
"Wow, you're going to put that last one on the shopping list, right?"
"What was it called? 'Burst'?"
"Yeah!"
"Whew. Bad name."
"Oh, honey, I don't think they mean like that. Think of it more as 'a burst of flavor'..."
Dinah snickered and pulled out her phone, typing into her Shopping List app. "Bottle... of... Burst... there, it's officially official now," the puppygirl said. "I hope they carry it."
"Amber said her small town managed to carry it, I'm sure we'll be fine," Kary replied, hir tail swishing eagerly. The long, sleek orcagrrl dominated their enormous bed, which in turn filled nearly half of their small one-room apartment. Shi lay on hir side, nude except for an enormous jogging bra that only barely kept hir decently covered. Dinah, barely half hir height and a fifth hir mass, leaned back against hir belly, nestled in between hir breasts and hir mind-boggling maleness.
"Were any of the flavored ones good?"
"The third one, uhm... Glisten, came in 'Bobbing For Apples' and 'Creamsicle' flavors."
"Subtle," the pink-hued pup chuckled. "Ok, maybe I'll grab one of those, too."
"Mmmm, flavored, eh?" Kary rumbled, ruffling hir wife's long, curly fuschia hair. "Feeling brave again, are we?"
"I swear my jaw would have made it last time if I hadn't fallen off the bed," Dinah blushed, licking her lips and remembering the slightly awkward, hilarious night. "But you're owed a lot of blowjobs, and I aim to deliver."
The orca-herm shivered, hir heavy, sheathless shaft twitching alongside Dinah's leg. "You're insatiable," shi tittered, craning hir neck to see beyond the slope of hir breasts. While most aquatic anthros were quite modestly proportioned, designed for maximum hydrodynamic efficiency, when they went hyper they seemed to go even more overboard than usual. Shi could only barely touch hir black fingertips in front of hir bust, and hir hermness was so abundant that, fully hard, shi was just a little bit longer than Dinah was tall.
"You love it."
"Hell. Yes."
_ _
On screen, Amber was typing away and responding to as many chatters as she could. "Glad to be of help, Hard2Hide, and good name! Gosh, I should put up a poll on the show site, see how many of you are actually hypers. Maybe I should start calling myself 'Dr. Amber'. No, PrrfectGrrl, I don't have a steady boyfriend right now. But it's not for lack of trying! Haa haa, thanks, DoctorBooBoo, it IS a lot of weight, but hypers are a lot stronger than we look. You should see what happens when I actually get big!"
Dinah brushed her cheek against Kary's inviting underboob, one pink paw moving to stroke hir shaft as though it were a lapdog. "Good thing you're not a grower like her, eh?" she laughed.
"I dunno, it has it's advantages," the orca replied, moving hir own hand down to massage Dinah's neck. "Most of the time she's pretty small, by hyper standards. She can save all of her size for party time."
"Oh, but I LOVE seeing you walking around like this," the canine winked, running a paw over a glossy black beachball-sized teste. "Especially when you're all dressed up for work. Rrowwrr."
"You're just downright peculiar," Kary smiled, rocking hir hips and bumping hir maleness against hir bride. "It's just a business suit."
"You make anything sexy just by being inside it."
"Mmmm, I must make you sexy more often then..."
"HEY!"
"OK, that's it for product reviews next week! Don't forget to let me know on my Twitter what other sorts of things you want me to talk about. You can find me on there at 'fwoomp'. I'll put the link up at the end if you're too lazy to type all that out," Amber deadpanned, taking another swig of her energy drink, her ears briefly perking up. "Whew! This stuff is going to keep me awake all night. If only I had someone to help me burn off all this energy..."
There was an explosive chorus of beeps as nearly everyone in the chatroom volunteered to help. Amber preened under the attention. "You guys are going to give me a swollen ego," she leered. "And yes, pun very intentional."
Amber stood up awkwardly, readjusted her earphone, and walked carefully back over to the bed. "Next up, I want to address a problem that most of you probably don't have, but if any of you are growers, and Jade if you're watching, you'll probably know what I'm talking about..."
Yva sat up at those words. "Woo! She got my message!"
The broad-shouldered bovine next to hir blinked. "Which message?" he asked, already fearing he knew the answer.
"I asked her if she was going to talk about growers," the willowy dragongrrl squealed, clapping hir hands gaily. "And she got it! Yay!"
"Your kind of growing, or mine?"
"Either-or," shi winked, tucking hir silvery wings in close and leaning back once more, curling against hir boyfriend's side. "I still think yours is more fun..."
"Yours," he replied firmly.
"Yours!"
"YOURS!"
On the big-screen TV mounted on the wall, the nearly large-as-life kitteh lounged on the edge of the bed, one leg up on the mattress and the other on the floor, artfully displaying her dimensions. "If any of you are growers, you've probably worked this out already, too. Really, I'm just trying to explain to people how our brains work... or, in my case, don't work. Or just plain don't listen."
She fished a wireless mouse out of the sheets and waggled it against her sheath, manipulating the web cam software. "Here's a picture of me about three hours ago," she narrated, and soon the feed was interrupted by a shot of Amber wearing the same outfit, green tank top and pink tights. The entirely of her hermness, however, would have filled a space barely half as large as just one of her current fluffy seed-tanks. "Notice anything different?"
Yva whistled, forked tongue curling in and out. "Definitely a grower there," shi rumbled. "And still soft!"
Tully shook his shaggy head, blinking and struggling to maintain his focus. He tugged as his shirt with his free hand, his other arm swung around his grrlfriend's shoulders. "Should I be jealous?"
Shi turned hir head, admiring his tightening shirt. "Should I? Looks like she's having quite the effect on you."
"Hey, watching this was your idea!"
"Are you going to re-watch her older episodes after I'm gone?"
Tully grinned and winked. "May-y-y-ybe."
"All that growth," Amber was continuing, the screen displaying her current figure once again, "took me about twenty minutes of just... thinking. I was laying on my bed, paws behind my head, counting the holes in the ceiling and just thinking sexy thoughts. I didn't touch anything."
_ _
It was Tully's turn to whistle. "Quite the hair trigger," he murmured, shifting his weight a little bit and slipping his other hand across Yva's lap, feeling the significantly smaller shapes beneath hir tight yoga pants. "Glad you're not like that?"
"If I grew just from sexy thoughts, you'd be in a lot_of trouble," shi growled seductively, leaning hir muzzle against his chest, nuzzling affectionately. "And if _me growing is a sexy thought for _you,_we'd probably get into some sort of horrible infinite loop."
"You say that like it's a bad thing," he murmured, smooching hir cheek.
Dragons, like foxes and minks and a few other notable species, had significantly higher rates of herm births, as well as incidences of hyperism. Tully's bovine ancestors, though, provided a rare and generally secretive condition that, in Tully's case, beat the odds and came coupled with a form of hyperism, as well. Yva's delicately-clawed hands brushed lovingly across his breasts, far larger than hir own and filling out slowly but steadily with milk. "The property damage alone would be prohibitive," shi giggled, his careful gropes setting off hir own growth. "Though we could make some money off of your production..."
"I am not a dairy bull," he said gruffly, but with a sparkle of mischief in his eyes. He had learned at a very early age just what a couple errant thoughts could do to his body, often lamenting that his male attributes gained proportionally very little while his more feminine swells grew with wild abandon.
"Not with that attitude..."
"Now, sometimes, it's kind of awesome," Amber was explaining, staring wistfully into the distance. "It feels... incredible. It really does. Your body is tied into the deepest, most primal parts of your brain, and just thinking about feeling good causes you to actually feel good. That's something more people could use!"
One paw slid across her bulges, claws digging shallow lines in the fabric. "But, it can also make life kind of difficult. Middle of class? Oh, it's happened. In line at a Stardoe's? You better believe it. Watching that silly commercial where the lifeguard rescues the sinking cruise ship, and his legs are... pumping... and..."
She shook her head, but the damage was done. Despite the imperfect resolution of the webcam, all of her viewers stared raptly as her tremendous nethers pushed out in all directions, her hormone-addled body forcing more and more mass into the vanishing space between her legs. It only lasted a few seconds, but it was enough to completely obscure one of her footpaws from view. "See?" she groaned, rolling her eyes but smiling nonetheless.
Tully's shirt creaked and made high-pitched plinking noises, sturdy blended material reaching its ultimate limits. "Is that because of hir," Yva asked, hugging one beachball- sized sphere, feeling it slosh back and forth in hir arms, "or the lifeguard commercial?"
He inhaled and exhaled, slowly and carefully, forcing his thoughts to switch tracks into safer territory. "Seventy/thirty?" he chuckled, his big, strong hand stroking back and forth through hir yoga pants. Shi had surpassed his own size down there, a heavy and rock-hard bulge reaching hir knees and showing no signs of slowing. "And what about you? This isn't a race, you know..."
"Shut up and get your pants off," shi husked, leaping nimbly to hir feet and tugging at his shirt.
"But what about your show?" he asked innocently, already fumbling with his belt below the immense landscape of his bust.
"We'll watch the rest later," shi winked, tapping the spacebar with one toe to pause the feed, "when you're ready to go again."
"So for all you non-growers out there, please keep in mind... there is a time and a place to mess with a hyper's emotions, particularly a grower's. Use your judgement wisely... unless, like my friend Cindy, you're prepared for the inevitable consequences," Amber giggled, getting unsteadily to her feet. "Whoof. Little more and I'm going to have to blow off some steam."
Another chaotic eruption of chat-beeps, and she laughed. "Off-camera, you pervs!"
"Awwww," the blue rabbit whined, slumping back in his seat. "She's a tease! That's just cruel."
"That's kinda how she works," said the wingless azure dragon from his perch on the couch. "Her no-nudity rules leaves a lot of leeway, though. This is still more pornographic than half the stuff you'll see on the Spice Network."
"Granted."
James grinned, his cyan scales gleaming. "Dante, you're too impatient. Give her a few episodes, I can guarantee she'll get into the more X-rated stuff. This is the internet. That's why it exists."
"Also granted," the male phukbunny said. "Fine."
"Besides," James added, "are you really going to change the channel now?"
On screen, Amber was standing as close as she could manage to her desk, leaning over to type and giving the camera a splendid view down the front of her shirt. "Hold on, guys and grrls, I'm just pulling up some music, and... whoa, and I'm apparently flashing some serious down-boob. Quick vote: who wants me to stop?"
"TYPE NO!" Dante howled. "YOU HAVE THE KEYBOARD!"
"Dude, I think there's enough people typing 'no' for me," James snickered. "Diss, get out here, you're missing the good stuff!"
There was a brief cacophony from the kitchen in reply, bowls clanking and clattering. "Sorry!" came a deep voice. "Your kitchen has everything in the wrong place."
"Don't re-arrange my kitchen!"
"I'm not anymore!"
"Dammit!"
The burly honey badger emerged a moment later, a large bowl of popcorn in one arm, a two-liter of diet cola in the other. "Sorry. Snack time. What's she doing now-... oh, hey, boobs!"
For quite some time, Friday nights had been board game nights in the apartment. As the year passed by, though, more and more people moved away or dropped out or acquired other, better hobbies. Games had been replaced by sci-fi movies, then horror movies, and then, as tended to happen with any appropriately-sized group of appropriately-straight males, porn. Idle browsing had come up with Amber's show climbing the ranks on MyFreeWebShow.Com, and they had been hooked since the second episode.
"You are all now going to sit there and suffer," Amber giggled, "while I do two things at once, neither of which come very easily to me: sing, and dance. I told you all that I'm now the official backup singer for our terrible, TERRIBLE school rock band, and as such I actually get some say as to what songs we play. This song always felt like it spoke to me as a hyper... I hope it makes sense. At the same time, I'm really trying to learn to loosen up and actually GO to the school dances and not worry about fourth-basing someone into a coma. Not that there's any shortage of willing victims..."
Her screen filled up with volunteers to be willing victims, and she actually blushed. "Geez, where were you guys last year?" she purred, finally locating the song and queueing it up.
"Clearly in the wrong time zone," the badger said, already halfway through his bowl of popcorn. "Why are there never grrls like this around here?"
"You have to leave the apartment to find them, Dissident," James deadpanned.
"You're saying they're in the lobby?"
"Just eat your popcorn."
"It's your popcorn, technically, and thank you, I will."
Simple, driving guitar rhythms merged with the rustling sounds coming from Amber's microphone as she slowly moved back to the open space between the cam and her bed. "All right, now. If you're a hyper, or if you're with a hyper, or you want to get with a hyper that you see on the dancefloor, there's a couple things to keep in mind," she explained, as the song gained momentum. "If they're anything like me, where the leg-to-junk ratio is very, very high, any kind of dancing is very quickly going to be hazardous to anyone in your immediate area."
Pink leotard pushed beyond all rational limits, the slender feline swayed with the music, hips and tail moving in very cautious little circles, her shoulders clearly leading the way. She inhaled, reminding her viewers that as large as her maleness might have been, she was still most definitely a lush and curvy example of femininity, and started to sing in low, breathy tones. Her voice was unsteady at first, but soon merged with the muted strumming of guitars.
Do ya? Do ya? Do ya ever wonder why?
Do ya? Do ya? Do ya ever wonder why?
She glanced at the camera, smiled and waved. "Figure eights are your friend," she added hastily as the music built to the first verse. "There's a safe zone directly in front of you, and directly behind you, if you do it right."
Her hips indeed were describing a figure eight, loops to either side, though the 'safe zone' was still a considerable distance away from her front. She inhaled once more, her voice low and husky, alluring in a vaguely predatorial manner.
Do ya come down? Do ya ever make a sound?
Are you even ever out of the groove?
Do ya talk back? Do ya slip through the cracks?
Is there anything that moves ya?
If you wanna come, If you wanna stay,
It really doesn't matter why...
James, Dante and Dissident sat forward slightly, chairs creaking, watching the spectacle unfold. Amber's voice was clear and smooth, but if anything she seemed to be holding back. The microphone was picking her up, but she hardly sang above a soft speaking volume. The thick-bodied badger moved the popcorn bowl to his own slightly-hyper lap, trying to hide his obvious interest in the web hostess.
Drums crashing, the old-fashioned rock song launched into the chorus, and with another deep breath and a clenching of fluffy, oversized fists, Amber closed her eyes and belted with unexpected force.
_'Cause I wanna go where I wanna go, when I wanna go! _
Do you wanna go with me?
'Cause I wanna do what I wanna do, when I wanna do it!
Do you wanna do it, too?
Well, do ya?!
The music chilled once more, returning to the low, slow and steady beat. Amber whipped her hair forwards and backwards once, straightening her top and smoothing down the fronts of her tights, even though burdened as they were they couldn't possibly be any smoother. "Woo!" she gasped, eyes wide and wild. "First verse! Ok, now I'm going to incorporate a hip roll, which can be very helpful when you want to let your dance partner know that they can move a little bit closer, and maybe to get an idea of just how tight their buns are..."
Dissident twitched, spilling popcorn on himself. "I think we should... watch this in separate rooms," he said hoarsely, trying to tidy himself up.
"Why?" James asked innocently, watching his two hyper friends pathetic attempts to conceal their arousal.
"No reason," Dante said.
"None at all," Dissident added.
"Is it because in the next verse she's going to ask you to suck on her sugar cube?" the azure dragon suggested.
The next verse hadn't even started yet before two bedroom doors slammed shut, leaving James alone in the living room with his laughter, and the rest of the snacks.
By the time the song finished, Amber was dizzy and sweaty and panting, which would aptly describe most of her viewers as well. The next song on the list was a much more sedate tune, and she took advantage of the situation to waddle back over to her desk, drop heavily into the specially-reinforced seat and wave tiredly to the camera.
"Well," she breathed, chest heaving, "if anyone is still watching... that was me attempting to sing and dance... at the same time... without my restraints. Do you think I managed to keep my PG-13 rating?"
Much to her surprise, the number of chatters had risen to over one hundred and fifty, and a quick scroll back showed near-universal praise for both her moves and her pipes. "You people must need better speakers," she giggled, ears blushing, "but thank you. That is not easy on the footpaws, lemme tell ya. I'm gonna take a minute and hand out some tokens, and then we'll just listen to a little music so I can talk to the chat window directly, sound good?"
Sitting down, knees as far apart as she could manage, her sac rested fully on the ground, her sheath only barely fitting beneath the desk. There was going to be quite a wild ride in the shower later when it was time to relieve the pressure, but she was getting better at not letting her imagination run away with her hormones. She could even watch several minutes of porn with Cindy without growing, although that left her on edge for the rest of the day.
"Ok, tokens for you... you... you... awww, Ponista, that's sweet, you get another one... you... you... SwiftJames, you said I nearly killed both your roomates? In a good way or a bad way? Oh, good way. Thanks! Here's some tokens for you on their behalf. I don't want to kill anyone. Charlemange asks how much do they weigh right now? I don't know exactly, but I've done some experimenting with the scale, and I'd have to say a little more than two hundred pounds of love down there right now. Maybe I should go on a diet..."
A couple dozen objections flashed across the chat window and she laughed again. "Oh, relax, I've got no intentions of anything like that, trust me. Everyone should be proud of what they are, if they like it, and hey, if you don't like something about yourself? DO something about it. I didn't like being afraid of being hyper... so rather than try to stop being hyper, I stopped being afraid. And you know what? Best decision of my life."
The song changed again, a peppy little dance number, and she propped her head up on her paws, bringing her face right up close to the cam while she read. "Ok, rapid fire time. MissEee asks if I am ever going to have special guests, and the answer to that is yes, I just don't really know who yet. This show isn't anything yet, it's still me trying to figure out what kind of a show I even have, and I don't want to get someone on here just to embarrass them in front of two hundred people. But yeah, some of my friends know about the show, and want to be on. We'll see."
She swigged from the can of Cunt Nectar, draining the last of it and licking the droplets off of her whiskers. "Mmmm, this stuff actually is pretty good. Come on, official sponsor! What's next? Kreamy, read the show rules, I'm not going to answer anything along the lines of 'how big can I get' or 'how much do I produce', ok? That's personal, and it's for me to know and some lucky individuals to find out. Besides, will the truth really be all that interesting, when your imagination is making something so much better?"
Her stomach rumbled, her hyper-caloric needs asserting themselves, but she tried to ignore it. She had reviewed the video of her first show, where she spent the last half of the broadcast eating a seemingly endless procession of chips and crackers, and shuddered with revulsion. Ye gods, that's what I look like when I'm eating? Yeah, that's attractive. Yeesh.
Instead she stifled a yawn, and made a show of glancing at the clock. "Mmmm, it's getting late, and I still need to take care of a couple big things before bed," she grinned, patting herself loudly and lewdly off camera. "So, I'm going to skip ahead to... ok, you two, Jetta and whatever your name is with all the numbers, this is not a roleplaying channel, ok? Please take it elsewhere. Augh! Whoa! Ok, it's definitely NOT THAT kind of channel! Banned, and... banned. Come on, people, keep it clean."
The remaining chatters lol'd and hastily made short comments to scroll the rather graphic display quickly off of everyone's screens. "Thanks, guys and gals," Amber grinned. "Right, now it's time to dip into the mail bag, and remember, you can send me questions at 'fwoomp' on Twitter. I'll try to get to all of them, and some of them will end up here on the show! You can bask in my reflected internet glory!"
"The first question comes from Balina, and it's a little more of a multi-part question. 'Dear Amber, has anyone reported any after-effects after they were off with you? Can I volunteer to see if repeated doses have any lasting effects?' I... am not sure how to take that, but I will assume it's complimentary," she snickered, blushing hard. "Let's see, after-effects? Other than the fwoomping itself, which usually turns my lovely lovers into, uhm, giant overfilled waterbeds, there aren't any after-effects that we've noticed. It sometimes takes a few days for them to bounce back, and they usually have some trouble uncrossing their eyes, but nothing serious. As for volunteering... I'm flattered, but not indiscriminately wanton, so I will have to decline. Politely. But don't give up," she added with a wink.
The chat began to fill up with questions about after-effects, either rumored or reported, but they seemed to be fairly minor. "Hmmm, I might have to watch out for those," Amber murmured, reading some of the more interesting ones. "Spontaneous post-coital breast growth? Oh, ye gods, I'm glad that didn't happen to Ci... er, I mean, I'm glad that didn't happen to a particular non-specific and utterly random person I was with."
"Ahem! Anyways! The next question is from a Breianna... 'Miss O'Malley, speaking as a fellow hyper herm that developed a bit earlier than I would have liked, do you find you have trouble sustaining lasting friendships when not centered around your sexual attributes? I'd be happy to provide you some books that meant an awful lot to me as a young girl.' Wow."
She took a deep breath, laced her fingers behind her head, and stared off into the distance. "I would have to say... no. I had friends when I was younger, even when I started developing size, which was before I started to develop the desire, I should mention. I was a big kitteh when I was just a kitten, and people knew what I was, but it was all pretty... normal. Friendships got weird in the last year when I got like REAL big, and when word of my, ah, 'exploits' started making the rounds at school, but I'd have to say that I've still got friends. Probably more. One of my exes is still one of my best friends, and the other people in my band are pretty cool."
"That said, it's a very different atmosphere now. Almost no-one new TALKS to me unless it's to obliquely talk about being a hyper-herm, or to ask me out, and I'd be a grade A moron to think that this show is acquiring new watchers for any reason except the size of my tackle. I'm really sorry that you developed earlier than you wanted, and had problems, but YES, I would LOVE to know what books were helpful! Maybe I can review them on the show! Thanks, Breianna, and I hope you keep watching!" Amber waved at the camera and blew a kiss. "We hyper-herms gotta stick together."
Several chatters made jokes of the best way to stick two hyper-herms together, and Amber had to admit that some of them were actually kind of funny. "Get your brains out of the gutter, peeps," she giggled. "Up next, from Alex The Dragon... 'Would you ever want to work as a breeder?'"
Amber blinked, cocked her head and fiddled with the empty energy drink can. "I... uhm... well, the only job description like that I know of came from an anthology of terrible porn, but I'm going to go out on a limb and say... I guess the way that you phrase it, would I ever WANT to. I'm going to have to say... yes." She smiled and sighed wistfully. "Someday, I want lots and lots of babies. Babies EVERYWHERE. But... yeah, not happening for a while. Thanks, though! That question kinda came out of left field. Yes, SusanStrong, thank you for volunteering AGAIN to be impregnated by me, but the answer is still no."
She scrolled down through the list of questions in her inbox. "Ok, we're like a quarter of the way through! Gonna try for some faster answers here. Up next, from A Typical Spider... or is that Atypical Spider? One of those. 'So...based on the myth that 'You're always drawn to the person you had your first sexual encounter with' how would you, your parents and your neighbors react if Jade stopped by to say 'hello'?"
For several seconds, many of her viewers thought that the video feed had stalled. Eventually Amber inhaled through her teeth, whiskers humming. "Jade," she purred, eyes half-lidding with nostalgia. "If there's any new viewers, last week I... briefly recounted my adventure with hir. Long story short I got knocked overboard on a trip to the Gulf, and a shark-herm rescued me. A shark-herm that had almost no contact with the outside world, to say nothing of contact with land critters. And no, we didn't 'do it'," she clarified, complete with air quotes, "but I did show hir some things that hyper-herms could do, on their own."
"As for my parents? Uhm... my mom would probably be terrified for a few minutes, and my dad would grill hir for information, since they don't really know everything that happened on that island, but I think they'd be fine with it. Jade is really, truly, a pure heart. I don't think I've met anyone just that _nice_before. And my neighbors? Well, they already think I'm in here railing their innocent sons and daughters every time they turn around, so I doubt they'd even blink," Amber laughed, rolling her eyes. She fiddled with the silver tiara still perched between her ears, a souvenir of the longer-than-expected three-hour tour. "It would be cool to finally introduce someone to my dad that's actually as tall as he is, though!"
"Up next, from Drahor, 'How come you are never a bottom? I hear about your exploits but you always seem to want to top? Dont you think most of your problems would be solved if you were a bottom?'"
Amber stood up, her enormous pink-clad mounds filling the camera view, the faint outlines of pinkie-thick veins just below the surface. "What problems?" she asked innocently, sitting slowly once more and chewing daintily on a claw. "And there's two answers, I guess. One, the inscrutable exhortations of a hyper-herms soul demand that we be, er, 'on top', because... that's sort of how we're made. It's what drives us, or at least me. So of course part of me ALWAYS wants to, and the sort of people that I attract tend to have that in mind. But I have been on the bottom a number of times, and I absolutely loved it, but for two, it's not something that I'm willing to do with everyone. And with that in mind... Hi Jelena!" Amber waved at the camera, blowing a kiss and winking.
"From Denare, a short one... 'what was the toughest day just to be you?'" Amber huffed, staring off into the distance. "Jeez. Open-ended or what? Uhm... the toughest day to be me was maybe the day after my first real sexual encounter, which involved an angry mother, the police and a lawyer. I hear a lot of hyper-herms kinda have first times that are 'memorable' like that," she noted wryly.
"Uhm... other than that, I'd have to say the Fall Bazaar, when my best friend decided to use me as a public trophy and sold a date with me, without my consent. That was... I had some problems with my body and my emotions at that time, and then I find myself literally the center of attention for the ENTIRE SCHOOL, and THEN I get bought as a date for my... I probably shouldn't say who that was, either, because I'm scared of lawyers. It was just so thoroughly humiliating. At the time, at least. Afterwards, I started to realize that just because someone is a spectacle doesn't mean they're being ridiculed. It wasn't fun, being used just because of the reputation hyper-herms have, but all in all I think it was good for me. And him," she added with a lewd smirk.
Her stomach rumbled angrily, and this time there was no hiding it. Two people in chat, which had climbed up to two hundred, asked her if she was hungry, and if being hyper had anything to do with it. "As a matter of fact, yes. I eat somewhere around eight thousand calories per day, and that number goes way up if I'm, ah, 'frisky'. You should see my parents' food bills. I'll get a bite to eat when we're done, and in that frame of mind, here's the next question from Keira Kain... 'Amber, what is your favorite ice cream flavor and topping'? At last, something sensible! A tie between mint-chocolate-chip and cinnamon-cocoa, and the best topping is and will always be hot caramel. Hope that helps!"
"The next question is a biggie. Here goes. DrakeZero asks 'Miss O'Malley, apologies if this is too much of a personal question, but what type of a person most attracts you emotionally and psychically. And do you see yourself as being the dominant or submissive one in a relationship as in many of your stories you have show signs of being both so curious about your preference. Finally ever interested in dragons? If so here is my card. *winks*.' Wow, he even wrote 'winks'. Now, he said psychically, but I THINK he meant physically, but I'll try to answer all three."
"Physically: fuck. Uhm... consciousness?" She blinked her most innocent expression into the camera, baring her teeth in what she hoped was a smile. "I'm a hyper-herm, I'm attracted to pretty much anyone with a pulse, but if I had to pick a TYPE, or narrow it down, I'd have to say I like people who are dainty, or twinkish I guess is a good word, OR people who are a little plump and cuddly."
"Emotionally: someone honest. Someone painfully, brutally, possibly even dickishly honest. Someone who can make me laugh when I'm ready to start rage-punching. Someone who can just hug me when I'm too scared to speak." She sighed, rubbing her eyes sadly. "Clearly, someone fictional," she grinned weakly. "And psychically? Someone who knows what food I'm craving and brings it to me before I even know I want it. Good luck, boys!."
"The next question is from... what?" She squinted, reading the chat. "What about the third and fourth question? Oh! Right. Dominant or submissive? Neither. I'm not interested in power. I want a partner, and that means some days I'm the boss, some days they're the boss, and some days we're both the boss. Interested in dragons? I would have to say yes, very vehemently yes. They have so much variety, and I love the colors, and some of them have wings, and from what I hear, they might be the only creatures who seem to be built for fwoomping. I will keep your card safe, Mister Zero."
Amber looked around, feeling restless. "I think we need a change of scenery, folks. Bear with me for a moment... you're all about to hop into bed with me." The camera view suddenly canted crazily to one side, and the audio became a series of deafening rustles and squeaks. After a few seconds things stabilized, and the view of Amber's bed was suddenly much closer, until most of it was blocked by the appearance of a very swollen hyper-kitteh. She dragged herself backwards across the bed, legs splayed out wide to give her sac sufficient room, and propped her head up on a pile of pillows. "Better view? Sorry I can't see much of the screen from here, but I just needed to get comfortable."
"I can see my list of questions, though, so here's one of the finals, from a Maloo: 'Amber, I'm simply curious... How does it feel? Do you think you have more fun or pleasure than a normal fur? Certainly, I imagine it would last longer. And do you think it's worth the hassle? Special underwear, tailored and specialized clothing, and so on?' First answer: it feels fucking insane. Seriously. I don't know what it feels like for normal people, but if sex feels like this for everyone, I can't imagine we'd ever have created civilization," she chuckled, adjusting the camera to give a slightly better view of her loins, just beyond the lovely swells of her breasts. "We'd be too busy. As for worth the hassle... it's not much hassle. Now that I know where the good deals are, I LIKE the tailored outfits, but... yeah, the restraints are a little annoying, but they're as much for your protection as my own. It's a small price to pay."
"And now, the final two... and I've saved these for last, because they are quite apropos, and are some of the major reasons I even started with this stupid little web show. From Durrn, we have a biggie: Do you find it bothersome that being a herm, folks usually just assume you must be preoccupied with sexy thoughts ALL-THE-TIME? What would you like folks to know you partake in as a hobby? A lot of people seem to think that a herm's life is just one big, non-stop porn film. How do you deal with that kind of misconception?"
Amber reached into her nightstand and removed one of her stashed candy bars, unwrapping it and devouring the entire piece in two bites. She pondered while she chewed, eventually swallowing to say, "Yes. Yes, yes, and yes. I mean... yeah, ok, a small part of my mind is occupied at all times, and I mean ALL TIMES, by sexy thoughts, but it's a small part! I'm in a band right now, and we practice four times a week. I take piano lessons with my mom on the weekend, and she's actually teaching me how to use all of her old sewing machines so I can modify my own clothes. I'm working on my sketching skills, because I'm actually trying to make my own comic book, but... that's going to be a secret for a while, because it still sucks," she chuckled, flicking one floppy ear out of her face. "As for dealing with that misconception, I don't really try to anymore. A misconception on your part does not constitute a problem on my part, and I find that, eventually, most people come around and realize I'm a person. I still don't know what I want to be if I grow up, but really, at this age, not many people do. Right now, I'm really leaning towards psychology."
Amber heaved a sigh, rubbing her forehead and trying to uncross her eyes. "Man, I could make a whole show about this question. Maybe I'll save that for when the show is on the down slide, and no-one's watching anymore. I'll flip the MASH button and go all maudlin."
The kitteh popped her lips and shook her head, clearing the cobwebs out. "The NEXT question is from a Ciraeon, and based on the little tiny avatar picture, I think they're friends with Durrn. Based on the questions, I also think one of them is more than a little like me. They ask: 'Do you think having more hyperherms in your life might make it easier to find casual friends, and/or to have people to talk about our more common 'problems' with? People who can appreciate the bwoomph and runaway growth we all experience. Or do you feel it would make things more difficult, either with more 'competition' or due to a different atmosphere?' Good word. Bwoomph. I'm going to have to use that."
Amber was already nibbling on a second candy bar when she straightened her thoughts out enough to reply. "I kinda think it would help, just to have someone who understands. If they're anything like me, there wouldn't be much in the way of competition! The last thing I want is to get all prideful and uppity about anything. But... you know, every once in a while, a little competition is healthy, right?"
The viewers of the show were treated to the sight of a glassy-eyed Amber staring off into space, one paw moving down to her lap and lovingly petting a sheath that was clearly swelling enormously from within. It bulged thicker, inch by inch with each breath, pushing out further forwards in surges of rustling fur against lycra, almost seeming to flow over the curvature of her balls.
Amber shook her head, glanced down, and then glanced back to the camera in shock. "Er..." she squeaked, hastily aiming the camera back up towards her face. "Sorry! That... uhm... I got sidetracked! I... awww, shucks, I guess that's not nice of me, is it?"
She pointed the camera back down, but despite her canine sheath nearly doubling in size, the growth had apparently stopped. "See? If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends, and my friends are always... growing. To try and salvage a shred of dignity and answer Ciraeon's question properly, yes, I would like a friend, or maybe a bunch of friends, who I could truly unwind with. I hear there's clubs and stuff in the City that cater to folks like us, herms and even hypers, and I hope to check them out someday."
There was a rustling, and she glanced down at her paw, surprised to see a third candy bar there. Then she noticed the other two wrappers crinkling against her tank top, and the cream color of her cheeks suffused pink. "How long have I been eating?"
Shortly after eleven, covering her yawns with one paw, Amber waved and typed and spoke her final goodbyes to the chat audience, which had peaked at two hundred and twenty two people. "Bye, everyone. Seriously. No no, this kitteh needs naptime. Thank you for the lovely words, Zrephel, maybe I'll get to that question next time. And remember, next week, I'm reviewing condoms, so stay tuned for that, and please send me any suggestions and recommendations. Ok, bye! I'm turning off the camera now! Bye! Drink Cunt Nectar! BYE!"
She clicked the tiny red X, and immediately her screen blanked. She gasped and exhaled, her shoulders sagged, and all of the remaining energy flowed out of her body. "Jeez," she yawned, straightening and working the kinks out of her back. "Just an hour of that really sucks it out of you. I think I need more energy drinks for next time..."
The hyper-kitteh eyed herself up in the mirror, now significantly more sac than grrl. The undersides were scant inches from the ground, and her bloated sheath stretched forwards and down the front of the tortured leotard, to the point where she doubted she could even reach the tip. "I hope I fit in the shower," she mewled, but at the same time she was decidedly thrilled by the prospect. She so rarely let herself go these days, even in private...
She was waddling unsteadily down the stairs, intending to raid the kitchen and leave no survivors, when there was a knock at the door. She froze, ears shooting up and tail puffing in terror. What the fuck? It's a Friday night, it's after eleven! Augh, I wish I knew where Dad kept his guns!
_ _
Moving on tip-toes, and still sounding to her over-sensitive ears that she was thumping like a tap-dancing hippo, she reached the main floor and sidled up to the front door. She tried to peek through the peep-hole, which wasn't easy when your nethers were larger than some compact foreign cars, and squeaked when she recognized the solid wall of choclately-brown fur.
"Roofie?" she exclaimed, throwing open the door,nearly all of her fur standing on end. "What the hell?!"
The enormous taur smiled down at her, still wearing his comically small Hub employee smock. "I was heading home, saw your bedroom lights were on."
Amber just stared. "Uh... and?"
The huge Newfie wolfhound scratched the back of his head, explosively shaggy fur rippling. "And I was just going to ask how your show went."
Crickets chirped in the distance, spring finally coming to Circe, and Amber became acutely aware of just how oversized she was. Roofie had seen her swollen before, but this was almost surely far more than she'd ever let on. "You know about my show?"
"I caught the replay of last week's show," he said a little shyly.
"Replay?"
"Yeah, the cam website replays the most popular shows."
"Popular?"
"Well, yeah! You got like three thousand tokens over the past week. Haven't you been checking your stats?"
"Stats?" she said weakly, hand falling numbly from the doorknob.
Rufus chuckled, his barrel rumbling like a thunderstorm. "It sounds like I got here just in time, and from the looks of it I missed a spectacular show," he drawled, gesturing with one footpaw. "Uhm... maybe I can come by tomorrow and help you out with the webcam dashboard? I spend a lot of time on those shows, and no, not just the porn-y ones. I'm actually learning boxing and BJJ from a few of them, and cooking. But... yeah, grrl, you're like number 15 on the 'Best Newcomers' this week."
"Out of how many?" she whispered. Three thousand tokens! That's almost five hundred bucks!
_ _
"Uhm, about eight hundred?"
"Oh. That's not so bad, then."
"Yeah," he laughed, "not bad at all. Uhm... well, look, I just came by to say hello, and to bring you a little present."
He reached back and removed something from the saddlebags that the bulky taur often wore. Amber was half-expecting to sign an autograph, and half-expecting to be presented with a bouquet of flowers and a profession of undying love, but the unflappable and unreadable wolfhound simply brought out a Family Econo bag of hot wing flavored kettle chips, and a four-pack of Cunt Nectar. "Think of it as your first official sponsorship," he said gently. "'Brought To You By The Hub'."
Amber took the pillow-sized bag and the energy drinks, smiling up at him in wonderment. "Thanks," she said. "I was kinda craving something spicy."
"You are the only reason we ever refilled the jalapeno nacho cheese dispenser," he agreed with a wink. "Well... have a good night, Ambs." With that, he carefully turned, the stealth hyper moving all four legs with delicate skill, and headed down the walkway to his van.
"Thanks," she called when he was nearly behind the wheel. "I'll mention you next week! On the show!"
He stuck his arm out the window and waved, pulling away from the curb and vanishing into the night.
Amber inched her way back into the house, closing the door with her tail and locking it. Her parents got very antsy when they came home and the doors were unlocked. She trundled into the kitchen to put the energy drinks away, not ready to pound that much caffeine at this hour, but she hugged the kettle chips to her chest like a teddy bear.
"Come on," she giggled, mind spinning turning out the lights as she moved from room to room. Roofie, and kettle chips. Huh. Will wonders never cease. She put her lips to the top of the bag, and whispered, "Ever wanted to share a bed with a happy, hungry, horny hyper herm?"
Appendix...