Furry Fan Interviews #13: FIESTA interviews ITCHY from ALL DOGS GO TO HEAVEN
#2 of Furry Fan Interviews! Season 2 (2015)
Miss me? Sorry about the LOOOONG delay. But anyways, we are at lucky 13! Once again, Fiesta is in the hot seat as he reviews the always hilarious Itchy Itchiford! We learn that cobwebs happen, trapdoors lead to dark shafts, that Silver can't have pixi stix, and much more! Is Kataze really magic? And what is a "bippy"?
(SILVER can be seen dusting some cobwebs off of the interviewee chair with his bare claws)
SILVER: Another Halloween come and gone.
(NITRO and ZIGGO poke their heads out from behind the curtain of the stage.)
NITRO: Hey, Silver? We're all set back here.
SILVER: Okies.
(Everyone heads back stage, where everyone else is talking amongst each other)
FIESTA: Peas and carrots, peas and carrots, peas and carrots.
TOMMYFOX: Rutabega, rutabega, rutabega.
ANIRO: Dogs, stupid, derp.
SILVER: And that's why I never ate pixi stix again. Did you know that my folks' house used to be made out of cabbage?
KATAZE: ATTENTION FURRIES!
(Everyone else stops talking.)
KATAZE: Wow, I didn't know I could shout that loud. That's really weird. Anyways...I have to do things. For starters, we haven't done any interviews since we interviewed Banjo and Kazooie in January.
SILVER: Then Fur Squared happened, then MCFC, then GLFC, then IFC, and then Furry Migration, and now it's already November. What the heck happened?
KATAZE: Laziness is a blue eyed monster.
ERIK: So who are we gonna interview?
KATAZE: Well we'll have to choose from the magic sack!
SILVER: That sounds-
KATAZE: Oh, you coyotes and your filthy minds.
NITRO: I was about to say it don't sound right either! Hehe :3
KATAZE: Oh, you furries and your filthy minds.
SILVER: But you're a furry.
KATAZE: I am? I don't remember signing up for this. But AS I was SAYING, my magic sack of wonderment...is that a word?
ANIRO: No.
KATAZE: I don't CARE. Where was I going with this? Oh, yeah. My magic sack of wonderment will tell us the answer.
(Kataze reaches into a "magic" burlap sack next to him and rustles his hand inside it as he rummages for the answer.)
KATAZE: One...two...THREE!
(Kataze takes out a piece of paper from the sack and reads it.)
KATAZE: Itchy Itchiford!
SILVER: But we already interviewed an All Dogs Go To Heaven Character. Ziggo interviewed Charlie last year!
KATAZE: Well, there's a difference. Fiesta is interviewing him instead!
FIESTA: What difference does THAT make?
ERIK: Silver has a point. Shouldn't we interview characters from other furry media before we start interviewing ones from a title that we already touched on?
ANIRO: Hmm...for once, the dog may be onto something.
KATAZE: Oh, well would you LOOK at who is here!
(ITCHY enters the room.)
ITCHY: Hi...is this where I get set up?
KATAZE: You bet your bottom bippy!
(ITCHY scratches himself.)
ITCHY: Sorry...I itch when I'm nervous. But you probably already knew that.
KATAZE: Well, let's get this show on the road!
(KATAZE hands FIESTA some index cards with questions on them.)
KATAZE: Here's your question cards, my good fox and good luck to you both! Off you go now!
(Kataze pulls a rope that sends FIESTA and ITCHY down a trap door shaft.)
ITCHY: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! ADIGIGIGIGIGIAH!!!
FIESTA: SCREW YOU, KATAZE!!!
(KATAZE faces NITRO.)
KATAZE: And NOW, my blue camo sled puller, you know what to do. You record the show with the pro stick thingy.
NITRO: Yepp.
(KATAZE starts to grab the rope.)
KATAZE: Now off you-
NITRO: Wait a hot minute! I don't like heights, and I don't like falling. You pull that rope and there's gonna be trouble.
KATAZE: No, this one activates the super happy fun slide!
NITRO: Oh, okay! That probably don't bother me too much.
(KATAZE pulls the rope.)
KATAZE: Safe travels!
(NITRO is sent down an even darker and longer shaft.)
NITRO: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-
KATAZE: Oops, that one does the same thing...kinda. Um...my bad?
(TOMMYFOX and SILVER can be seen angrily cracking their knuckles.)
KATAZE: Meep! Okay, okay! I'll give him a raise! A BIG one!
TOMMYFOX: No, you give ALL of us raises.
KATAZE: Deal! Well, I gotta do big business...things.
(KATAZE leaves.)
ERIK: ...what just happened?
ZIGGO: Things. Furry things.
ANIRO: I don't know what's weirder. The fact that Itchy appeared right after Kataze announced his name, or the fact that two bottomless shafts lead to the stage, which is on the same floor we are on.
SILVER: Eh, I wouldn't question it.
ANIRO: Was there ANY time where you questioned something?!
(SILVER holds up a very old looking donut in front of Aniro.)
SILVER: Funny ya say that. I was just gonna be my 'yote self and eat this, but I don't think I can even bite into it.
ANIRO: Eww! That must be pretty crystallized considering you chew on rawhide bones.
(ANIRO gestures to a pile of bones in the corner of the room that has a sign that says "FOR SILVER. DO NOT EET. IZ MYNE. THANKIEZ.")
SILVER: I'm just afraid I'm gonna break my teeth on this.
ANIRO: You're actually going to eat that thing?! You stupid dog!
SILVER: I'm not going to eat it; I'm THINKING about it.
(ANIRO slaps his forehead.)
ANIRO (muffled): If I see another stupid dog again it'll be too soon.
ERIK: I'm gonna play Undertale.
ZIGGO: Done. With all of you.
TOMMYFOX: No, you're not.
(Meanwhile, on stage...)
FIESTA (flatly): Welcome to episode lucky 13 of Furry Fan Interviews. Today I'm interviewing Itchy. No hoomans allowed. I don't see any so let's get on with the questions.
(FIESTA holds up the question cards in front of his muzzle)
FIESTA: Question one. Why do you attract so many fleas?
ITCHY: I never thought about that. But Dachshunds like me tend to itch a lot. Hehe...one time when Charlie and me shrunk, the flea on me grew huge and started acting like a dog.
FIESTA: ...okay. Next question. Charlie doesn't wear clothes, but you wear a green torn shirt and a red billed cap. Have you always had these clothes? Why do you wear them?
ITCHY: Charlie gave me the shirt and the red cap. It's kind of a symbol that we were work partners when we ran the casino. When Charlie hired me to work for the casino he wanted me to look "presentable" so he gave me clothes from the junkyard he lived in.
FIESTA: Okay, last question and then it's time for audience questions. What is your relationship with Bess?
ITCHY: Well, kind of like Charlie and Sasha, we have an on again off again relationship. But in my opinion I think she really likes me, and I know I like her.
CHARLIE: If only Sasha cared about me that way.
ITCHY: Maybe you could try to get her attention in a nice way, Charlie.
CHARLIE: Maybe you are right, Itch!
(CHARLIE turns toward SASHA)
CHARLIE: Hey, Sasha, I think I might know where that bone you've been looking for is buried...if ya know what I mean...
SASHA: Hmph! I expected nothing less from such a self-centered, egotistical-
FIESTA (quickly): Okay! TIme for some audience questions. Seat 27.
KATE (From ALPHA AND OMEGA): What do you see in Charlie as a friend?
ITCHY: Actually, he's more than just my best friend. He helps me get out of my shell, even though sometimes he goes too far.
FIESTA: Seat 48.
LEXI (From LOONATICS UNLEASHED): Why does your hat keep changing positions?
ITCHY: The animators after our first movie liked to putz around, I guess.
FIESTA: And the final question goes to seat 63.
THOMAS O' MALLEY (From THE ARISTOCATS): In All Dogs Go To Heaven 2 you were sneezing whenever Red was around. Are you allergic to cats or are you allergic to evil?
ITCHY: I've been allergic to cats ever since I was a pup.
FIESTA: That's all the time we have! See you soon for another exciting episode!
ANNOYING WOLF: This SUCKED!
FIESTA: Thank you.
(Later, Backstage...)
NITRO: I'm gonna feel that fall tomorrow. I landed pretty hard on my tail.
ITCHY: Ooh. Well, I have a spare Miracle Dog Tag that could fix that.
(ITCHY places the tag on NITRO'S tail.)
NITRO: Wow. The pain is gone. Thanks!
ITCHY: Sure. I gotta run back to Charlie. We're gonna go visit Bess. This was fun. I'll see you all later, and thanks!
(ITCHY runs off)
ITCHY: Short legs! SHORT legs!
ZIGGO: I identify with this Dachshund :3
TOMMYFOX: Yeah, but Corgis like you are more derpy.
(ANIRO gestures to SILVER, who is still holding the donut.)
ANIRO: Not as derpy as THIS!
SILVER: Should I? Or shouldn't I? Oh well.
(SILVER bites into the donut and whimpers. A fang falls onto the floor.)
ERIK: Why did you eat that?!
SILVER: Uh...my ancestors told me to do it?
TOMMYFOX: And now you're missing a tooth. Good job!
(TOMMYFOX giggles.)
(SILVER picks up his fang and looks at it.)
SILVER: Woww....I'm gonna get a TON of bones under my pillow tonight!
FIESTA: I just realized something. This was the 13th episode, I HOSTED, and nothing bad happened. Remember what happened last time I hosted?
EVERYONE ELSE: Yes.
FIESTA: I guess everything turned out okay this time.
(A grand piano falls onto SILVER.)
NITRO: Is he okay?
SILVER: ...pain...
ZIGGO: You know, 2015 is almost over. And hardly any memes in this show this year happen-
(NITRO points at Ziggo's legs)
NITRO: WHAT ARE THOOOOOOOOOOSE?
TOMMYFOX: DEEZ NUTS!
FIESTA: JOHN CENA!!!
ZIGGO: Hate you all.
ERIK: Happy tails.
SILVER: Does anyone have any Aleve?
-END-