Jalapeño, South Dakota
#5 of So Furry Presents: The Amazing Race
On the last leg of the Amazing Race, the 15 remaining teams traveled to Chicago where they had hotdog eating contest, then a straight run to the finish. The adrenaline junkies found a secret fast forward and jumped to second. Meanwhile, the prostitutes fell behind and we're almost cut if it weren't for the albinos who were both guilty after cutting a previous team from the race. Simply put, the albinos were cut instead. There's still 14 teams left.
***
"Welcome back to Chicago." Toner says. "Yesterday, the sorority sisters won, therefore they're up first." Jennifer steps up, hits the button and takes the clue from the clue box.
"Route Info: head to the Amazing Race tour bus where you'll transported back to The O'Hare Airport. You'll then take a flight to Rapid City, South Dakota." Jen reads. The two then run off. The rest of the teams get their clue and run off to the bus which is parked just down the street.
Teams will take a four-hour flight to Rapid City. However, they're actually going to Keystone, South Dakota. This town houses many tourists who wish to see Mt. Rushmore. Today, the teams will head to the monument for this leg of the race. Their next clue is at the gift shop.
Angie & Jennifer ride towards the front. All of a sudden, someone taps Angie on the back of the head. She turns around to see who it is. "Can I ask you something?" Maria asks.
"Sure." Angie says.
"Do you want the bakers out?"
"Absolutely. Why do you want them out all of a sudden?"
"We've been noticing suspicious behavior from them." Jack says.
"You guys talking about the bakers?" Seven asks. Her and Stuart are sitting across the aisle from the sorority sisters.
"Yep." Jack says. "Something's gotta be done about them." What they didn't know is that Claudia may be in the back of the bus, but she heard everything. Hans was asleep against the window. She elbows her partner awake.
"Hans, did you hear that?" She whispers heatedly.
"Hear what?" Hans says, groggy.
"An alliance has just been formed right under our noses."
"Whatever. Tell me later."
"It involves the sorority sisters." Hans immediately opened his eyes.
"I'm listening." He says.
"Them, the junkies, and the movie experts just formed an alliance to get rid of us."
"It's because of your attitude and the way you've been playing. You see what you do?"
"Oh shut up. I'm an awesome teammate and you know it."
***
One 4-hour flight later and all 14 teams get on the same bus to travel to the monument. When it parks there, teams race out to the gift shop. "Hurry, Hans!" Claudia shouts as they run.
The newly formed alliance gets to the clue box first. Seven takes the first one then Angie and Maria. "Detour: the blue or the red challenge." Stuart reads. "What does that mean?"
This means that all teams will travel along the Presidential Trail. They'll pass Mt. Rushmore along the way. However, each member of every pair must carry either a red bag or a blue bag. The blue bag weighs 50 pounds; but they get to dump them halfway through the trail. If teams go with the red pack, they have to carry it all the way through the trail. The next challenge is at the snack shop.
"Blue." Jen says.
"Blue, no question." Claudia says.
"Let's take red." Richie says to his teammates. Most teams choose blue (Jon & Devon, Helga & Gretel, Rob & Robbie, and Cody & Dave). Some do choose the red bag (Brent & Syd, June & Mabel, Ashley & Jo, and Avery & Timothy).
"Our allies took blue, so we will too." Maria says. Her and Jack grab their bags and they run off. Seven & Stuart do the same.
"Now this should get the blood pumping." Seven says.
"I know. This race is finally getting interesting." Stuart says. The newly formed alliance (some Racers started calling them The Axis) falls behind but aren't in dead last. That title belongs to the Transexuals.
"Who knew that carrying a heavy bag would weigh us down?" Avery asks.
"I did." Timothy says.
"We should've went with blue. At least with that you only have to do it halfway."
"Whatever. We're in last, we need to catch up."
Richie & Vlad and Tommy & Regina were right behind Hans & Claudia, who somehow caught up to first place. "There are the bakers!" Regina points ahead of her.
"Shit! Here comes the competition!" Claudia says. She reaches in her pocket and pulls out a bottle of mayo.
"Did you steal that from Chicago?" Hans asks.
"What Vince doesn't know not hurt him." She says. She shakes up the bottle and squirts all of it on the trail. The songwriters saw it but we're too late as they slip in fall.
"What the hell?!" Vlad says. The humans/graduates alliance arrive next and see them struggle.
"I've got an idea." Brent says. He backs up a few steps, gets a running start, then slides on his stomach through the mayo, clearing a path.
"Nice one Brent." Mabel says.
"Thanks." He smiles at her. Their partners get across the mayo and they start to run again. Tommy helps Vlad up and they take off again. The Axis arrives next. Angie & Jennifer ran through it quickly, but their allies were having trouble.
"I have huge feet! What if I slip and fall?" Jack says.
"I've got you big guy. All the way." Maria grabs Jack's paw and helps walk across the path Brent cleared out. Seven & Stuart were getting a bit anxious. They wanted to run again, to have the feeling of rush again.
Maria got Jack across just fine. "About time!" Seven says. "I'm sorry. I just really enjoy running. That and the fact that other teams are coming." She points behind her. The jocks, brothers and sisters are coming. The Axis then moves on.
"Woah!" Ashley stops her sister when she sees the mayo mess on the ground. "We've got to be careful!" She picks her sister up and carefully walks them across.
"How come you never pick me up?" Robbie asks his brother.
"You weigh 200 pounds. Now way am I carrying you." Rob says.
"I've got this buddy." Cody picks up Dave and starts to cross the mayo.
"You know I could've walked." Dave says.
"I know. But... I forgot why I did this."
"You know our football team is gonna see this and we're gonna be a laughing stock." Cody stops when they're for sure safe from slipping and puts Dave down. Cody blushes but they run off again.
"Ahhhhh such a load off." Hans says when the reach the halfway point. You can tell they did because of the sign Toner put up saying "1/2 point". Hans sets his and Claudia's bags down and they run off. Angie & Jennifer quickly take theirs off so they don't slow their team down.
"This ain't so bad." Helga says after her and Gretel cross the mayo pond.
"True. Except the straps are cutting my shoulders." Gretel says. They aren't actually cutting her shoulders; this is just a metaphor.
"You know what they say: No Pain, No Game." Helga says.
"That's what Devon says to me every night." Jon says.
"This is not come out right!" Gretel says. The prostitutes and wrestlers may be behind; but the Transexuals still struggle.
"Timothy, if we lose this race," Avery starts out, "I want you to know that I enjoyed doing it with you."
"Same here." Timothy says.
***
Hans & Claudia make it to the snack shop first. The checkpoint rug and Toner are right next to the counter. However, there's a clue box next to it. Claudia hits the button as The Axis comes in and take their clues.
"Roadblock: whoever didn't participate in the hotdog challenge will take part in the... Jalapeño Challenge?" Claudia says. Teams will receive a 6-oz bag of Jalapeño Chips. One team member must eat the entire bag. Once they do, they must get approval from an employee (white coyote) before stepping on the checkpoint rug. Last team to do so is out of the race.
The white coyote (Charles) hands the bakers their chips then The Axis theirs. "It's your turn Hans." Claudia says.
"I know. Don't rush me!" Hans opens the bag and takes a whiff. He immediately plug his nose. "Oh my god! I can smell the heat in there!"
"Suck it up!! Literally!!!" Claudia yells.
"Oh man. I've never liked Jalapeños." Maria says.
"Me neither." Angie says. "But we have to do this in order to stay in this thing."
"Ok." Seven says. "Wait! My team never did that challenge. We had the fast forward remember?"
"Stuart pushed you in the baby carriage." Toner says. "Seven, you have to do this one."
"Fine." She tears open the bag. As soon as she eats just one chip, her mouth gets on fire. "I've eaten Jalapeños before; but they're not supposed to be this hot! What gives?!"
"We may or may not have added Ghost Pepper power in each of the bags." Toner says.
"What?!" All eight of them say of once.
"It's supposed to be challenging!"
"I don't know if I can do this." Maria says.
"Yes you can." Angie says, chomping away even though her burning tongue is saying stop. "It's either that or the bakers win the leg."
Maria looked over at the bakers. "C'mon Hans!" Claudia says. "You're halfway done!"
"I know but Thai is more heat than we've ever handled in the kitchen!" Hans complains.
Maria didn't want the bakers getting ahead. She took in a deep breath, counted to three and did the unthinkable. She tipped the bag into her muzzle and the rest of the chips flowed into her mouth. The heat was unbearable for her. She got them all in, started chewing, trying to ignore the pain.
"Maria? You alright?" Jack asks. Maria holds up a finger and painfully swallows.
"Yes." She says. "Done!" She shows the empty bag to Charles, who gave her the thumbs-up. The movie experts then walked the 10 paces to the rug.
"I didn't see that coming." Toner says. "Movie experts win this leg of the race." Jack & Maria cheered and they hug each other tight. "Here, Maria, you've earned this." Toner hands her a water bottle.
The rest of the teams arrive over the course of ten minutes. However, the bakers and sorority sisters already finished the roadblock in second and third place respectively.
"We have to eat Jalapeño Chips?" Jo asks.
"This is crazy!" Vlad says.
"I know." Rob says. Seven & Stuart finish their bad and get their approval.
"Adrenaline Junkies are in fourth." Toner says.
"Awesome!" Seven & Stuart high five each other then walk off.
"I think I can stuff them all in." Vlad says. He does the same thing Maria did earlier.
"You can do this sis." Ashley says to Jo. Jo takes takes one bite and immediately tastes fire.
"Too hot! Too hot!!" She cries.
"I'm sure they'll let you drink something at the end." Ashley says. "Just a few minutes of this and it's all over."
"I hope so."
"C'mon Gretel! Show those Jalapeños who's boss!" Helga cheers on her partner as she tries to quickly eat the super spicy chips.
Syd takes a bite of chips and instantly becomes cross-eyed and tear-eyes. "How much spice is in this thing?" He asks.
"It has a hint of ghost pepper in it!" Angie yells from the other side of the place.
"Whoa!" Brent says. "You can still do this, Syd!"
"You can do this, June!" Mabel says. She looks over at Brent. For some reason, she can't quite look at him the same way lately. She didn't know why.
June and Syd finished theirs after the sisters claimed 5th place. They walk on the rug together again.
"Early graduates, 6th place. Humans, 7th." Toner declares.
"You ok, baby?" Devon asks Jon.
"Yeah. I'm fine." Jon says, trying not to scream from the heat.
"You sure?"
"Yes!" Jon snapped. He immediately pinned his ears down. "I'm so sorry, Devon."
"It's ok." Devon kisses his partner on the lips. But regretted it as the taste of the chips was now in his mouth. "Damn, honey! I knew you were hot; but this isn't what I meant!"
"Haha. That's funny." Timothy says. "You done yet, Avery?" She was swatting her paw in front of her mouth as if it would help make the fire go away.
"Almost!" She yells. "But this is seriously hot!!!"
"Done!" Vlad says.
"Me too!" Regina says. Tommy & Regina step on the rug together. 8th place. Richie & Vlad try to, but Toner stops them.
"Oh no you don't!" He says. "You guys earned a 10 minute penalty."
"What for?" Richie asks.
"Vlad didn't eat all of his chips." Toner pointed to the ground where the songwriters were standing and sure enough, several chips lie there.
"Why did you see that?" Vlad asks.
"I didn't know!" Richie says.
"Either way, no stepping on the rug until 10 minutes are up." Toner says, then goes back to his newspaper.
Cody & Dave- 9th place
Jon & Devon- 10th place
Helga & Gretel- 11th place
Rob & Robbie- 12th place
That leaves the Transexuals and the songwriters, who still have 60 seconds left in their penalty. Avery couldn't stand the heat anymore. Richie & Vlad got nervous. One right motion and Avery wins and they lose.
50 seconds. Avery looks in the bag and sees about 7 chips left. Each one in her mouth adding more pain than the last.
"C'mon, Avery! We have an advantage here!" Timothy cheers.
40 seconds. Avery starts to sweat a bit with the heat increasing and increasing.
30 seconds.
20 seconds. Richie & Vlad step up to the rug, hoping Avery slips up the task. "Dude, can I be honest?" Vlad asks.
"Sure." Richie says.
"I'm scared right now." Vlad's heart was beating out of its chest.
10 seconds. Avery only sees two chips left. She gobbles them down quickly after finding her will to keep going.
5 seconds. She shows the bag to Charles and gets approval.
4.
- Avery throws the bag and they start running.
2.
- "Time up!" Toner says. Richie & Vlad step forward and Avery & Timothy run into them. However, they're boots aren't touching the rug. "Richie & Vlad, 13th place."
"Awesome! We're still in the race!" Richie fist bumps Vlad and they get up off the ground. Avery's tail goes limp and she looks at the ground.
"Well, well, well. Avery & Timothy." Toner starts out. "I've got to be honest, you did an amazing thing coming on this show to represent the transgender community. You proved that you are definitely strong players. But, 14th place ain't enough. You're out of the race, sayonara!"
Avery & Timothy walk out of the snack shop towards the parking lot where the bus is waiting to take them back home. "That sucks." Avery says. "And we were doing good too."
"True." Timothy says. "We were brave enough to come on here, though. Plus, Toner was right, were pretty good making it this far."
"I guess. Now that we've lost, why don't we go home and watch some Smosh videos."
"Sounds fine to me, Avery."