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Part 1 - Refugee

"Again!"

Stargazer's voice sounded louder than she remembered from his time on the Mrr'tani Pride, filling the hold with a tone of authority that he rarely used in her presence. It was only when they were practicing as they were now that he took on the mantle of the leader. It was refreshing, actually, Strong Soul reflected. So much of the time she spent around the tall and lanky Mrr'tanou, he was deferential and polite to a fault, and though she loved him and she knew he felt the same about her, she sometimes wished that he would be a little less polite.

Strong Soul lay on the deck of the cargo bay in the Mrr'tani Pride, her chest heaving as she tried to catch her breath. The cargo containers in the hold had been moved about and were unsecured as the ship was moored to one of the larger clusters of ships that made up the refugee fleet, Mss'ranaw. There was no need for them to be lashed down and it made it easy for her to find a quiet place to practice with Stargazer.

Quiet was a relative term, though. Even here, in her refuge away from the press of the other free and refugee Mrr'tani, they were still all around her, everpresent in her head through the links that had once again flared to life when they'd crossed the wall from hyper almost on top of the collection of hulks, rocks and other craft that made up the fleet. It had been almost two weeks since that day, and though she'd managed to mitigate the initial surge of energy, voices and thoughts, she still couldn't control the volume as well as she wanted.

"You are distracted," Stargazer said as he stepped into her view. She never thought about how much taller her protector, her OuwRrrahr'a'tan'ou, was. She was used to being easily the smallest in any group of mature Mrr'tani, but seeing him almost tower over her made her smile. He was tall and lanky, and were she standing, he would stand a head and a half taller than her. She always marveled at the luxurious patterns in his fur, the sweeps of color that marked him as a member of the Mountain clan, with a pronounced muzzle that rarely smiled, but was the most gracious she'd ever seen when he chose to bestow one of his rare smiles on someone. Today she wasn't that lucky, though.

"I can't believe you're not," she answered, finally sitting up.

She bent her knees and wrapped her arms around them, still breathing heavily, but she was recovering quickly. It was something that she had to learn when she started practicing with Stargazer. She thought she was fit and healthy with her time spent as gamekeeper to her former Master, but Stargazer had proven that she was woefully underprepared for his style of training.

"I simply refuse to let the extraneous thoughts disturb my own," he replied, his arms crossed in front of him.

"Simply," she scoffed. "As if that's all there is to it."

She climbed to her feet and stretched her arms over her head and then behind her back. Stargazer didn't pull his punches during their sessions, and the way she was feeling, she knew that tomorrow was going to be worse. Fortunately, she knew that Micah, the ship's AI, had no problem keeping a store of hot water, since a great deal of it was used to cool various parts of the ship. It was something that was never lacking on the Pride.

"You must learn to put disturbing thoughts and sensations out of your head," Stargazer said, his gaze softening. Strong Soul learned when he first insisted on teaching her that the tall Mrr'tanou had two modes when he was the mentor. He was a strict and stiff-tailed teacher when it came to the physical aspects of what he was teaching, something she was familiar with from her last teacher. When he was discussing her gifts and how to manage them, however, he was softer and more understanding.

"They're not disturbing, Stargazer," she said quietly, rubbing the ache out of her shoulder. "I don't know how to describe it, but I feel more whole since we got here than I ever have before. The links, they're just..." she hesitated as she searched for the right words. "They're just right. They belong there."

"Regardless," Stargazer said, returning to the center of their makeshift fighting circle, "they are intruding on your focus, and when you are fighting, you must maintain your focus. To do otherwise is to invite failure. There are no others here to fight for you."

"I know," she answered, walking slowly to her starting position again. "I just don't know how to do it. Ever since Catcher of Souls helped me accept what's happening, I can't turn them down. It's like thinking about cutting off an arm."

"You needn't silence them, Keeper. As Catcher said to me once, it is not about overpowering them and making them quiet, it is about accepting them and simply letting them be without your attention."

Stargazer's posture shifted and he settled into a more relaxed pose than his usual wary and cautious one. Strong Soul smiled at the shift, knowing how much it took for him to let his guard down. From her link to him, she felt the depth of his feelings for the ship, the way that it felt like home to him, as it did to her. They both had the run of the fleet, and they could go wherever they wanted. Indeed, they were welcomed anywhere in Mss'ranaw with open arms and such feelings of gratitude and wonder that it always threw Strong Soul off guard. Neither of them felt nearly at home, though, until they were back on the Pride.

"The Mrr'tani have existed without Frr'a'narr'ahn, and without a Frr'a'tan'lass'i'ah for many generations, Keeper of Hearts. The Mrr'tani here functioned just fine without your connection before you arrived. They will continue to do so even if you are not focused on them every hour of every day."

Strong Soul blushed and lowered her eyes.

"I guess I've just been trying so hard to live up to what they expect of me," she admitted.

"There is no way to live up to what they expect," Stargazer said. "What they know of the Frr'a'tan'lass'i'ah is legends and myths. Catcher of Souls herself could not live up to the legends about her, and she was the inspiration for the stories. You are your own Mrr'tanah, and you will do what you feel must be done. The first thing you must do to fulfill the destiny that has been granted to you is to understand that you are not the legends. You are Strong Soul, the Keeper of Hearts, and you make your own path."

She felt the depth of Stargazer's conviction over the link and the intensity of it brought another touch of color to her cheeks beneath the cream colored fur. Her own coat was plainer and less decorated than Stargazers, though she'd taken on the custom of wearing the bright-colored shirts of Avalon over the well-worn leather pants and boots of her home, Airgidbaile on the planet of Silverwell. Stargazer never varied from his plain and utilitarian clothing, usually some sort of spacer's jumpsuit or other similarly bland-colored cloth.

"Everyone expects all these great things," she said quietly. "I just feel like I can't let them down. I can feel what they do when they look at me. I know how much they hope and how much they dream, and it's hard not to let it get to me."

"They do not know you yet," Stargazer said. "When they do, they will begin to see the Mrr'tanah, and not the legend. Give it time, my Keeper."

He settled himself into his fighting stance again, raising his hands in front of his face. Strong Soul smiled and rolled her eyes as she felt his readiness wash over the link.

"Now," he said, his voice as firm and stiff as his long tail that stretched out behind him, "again."

Strong Soul sighed and readied herself, lowering her body into the stance that Stargazer had taught her when they first started. She'd modified it to suit her own style, though, and where his stance was high and fully guarded, hers was looser and more fluid, something that gave her more flexibility in movement and also gave advantage to her small stature and the speed that brought with it. She'd figured out long ago that there was no way to face Stargazer force to force, as his reach was longer than hers and he was more powerful in most ways.

Still, the cacophony of the links swarmed in her mind, some much brighter than others, and with some she could almost feel them next to her. She could watch Stargazer with her own eyes and still see through First Spark's eyes as she sat on the counter in the galley three ships over, learning how to make some of her favorite dishes she'd found since they arrived. That wasn't the only link, nor was it the strongest, and she watched Stargazer warily as she thought about what he'd said. The links could stay were they were and she needn't pay any attention to them for them to remain.

There was one link, though that she felt stronger than any but Stargazer's and Night Star's. That was Micah, the ship's AI, surrounding her as he did as she was literally inside his world. She let the rest of the links fall away to the back of her mind, letting go of the tight control that she always felt that she needed to have to maintain them. It was like letting go of something so tightly held that it was close to painful. As she relaxed and the faded from the fore, the single link with Micah brightened and she felt the calm wash of his cold logic flow over her mind. It pushed aside the feelings of trepidation and anxiety that she wouldn't be what she was supposed to be. In Micah's mind, there was little room for emotion and feeling. Logic was what drove the AI, and everything in the world fit into some field or another. There was no ambiguity.

Stargazer raised his eyebrows in response to the change in feeling between them and she only grinned at him, watching closely with her eyes while letting the other information that Micah had access to flow into her conscious mind. She could see him, yes, but she could also see through him. She could tell his heart rate, his body temperature, the state of his muscles. At any other time, it would have been too much information, but she knew the AI better than any other being alive. She'd been a part of his mind, and now when she focused on his link, they could operate as a cooperative pair, him only sending the information she needed across the link without so much that it overwhelmed her.

With that ability, she could sense the exact moment when Stargazer chose to attack. It wasn't simply the information that Micah provided her, it was mixed with her own hunter's instinct in the interpretation of the information. She was ready for him and she shifted her stance just slightly, slipping out of his direct path, ducking under his first strike. Her hands grabbed hold of his coveralls, balling the rough fabric in her hand while she used his momentum in her favor. There was no way for her to simply force him in the direction she wanted, but she could redirect his own force, and that was what she did. With her hands holding tight to his clothing, she rolled onto her back, pulling his shoulders down with her until she felt the very moment that he overbalanced.

There was a moment of panic in his thought as he felt what she was doing, but she was fully committed and she knew that she was going to succeed. There was no way for Stargazer to prevent her strike now. With a small hiss, she brought her artificial leg up and planted her foot on his chest. With one final tug on his shoulders, she pulled him into position and with only a thought, extended her leg with, admittedly, more force that was strictly necessary. Her leg responded exactly as she knew it would and with a grunt, Stargazer's feet left the ground as her kick sent him careening through the air even higher than he could have jumped himself.

She was back on her feet at almost the same time as Stargazer landed atop a three-crate high pile of cargo at the edge of their ring. She couldn't help the satisfied grin that lit her face when she heard the exclamation and cursing that followed the heavy thump. She could feel the very quiet twinge of Micah's thoughts mirroring hers. She hadn't quite been able to figure out what the AI could feel in the way of emotions, or if he could feel them before he met her, but she was starting to get the hang of the patterns of his thoughts. She was certain that he felt the amusement of the situation as well, and she sent a wave of cheerful thanks across the link to him before she let even his link fade to the back of her mind.

As she finally let go of each and every one of the links, she heard the sound of clapping hands behind her. She didn't need to turn to know that it was Night Star, or Jason as he was known to the human world. She could feel his link so strong and bright in her mind. His was one of the ones that she would never be able to let go of as she had the others. He was more than simply a friend, he was for all intents and purposes her mate.

"Very good, love," he said, beaming as he walked into the hold.

She smiled back at him when she turned around, watching his eyes wander from hers to the spot where she knew Stargazer had landed.

"He's a good teacher," she answered.

"I guess so. I don't think I've seen anyone fly that far before. You're lucky that he's a good student, too. I don't envy you the rematch."

"Lyria always said that bruises were the best teacher. Immediate feedback that leaves an impression for a few days to remind you of what you did wrong."

"I imagine that you're going to be learning some new lessons yourself over the next few days, love," Night Star said with a chuckle.

"It was worth it," Strong Soul admitted, turning back to watch Stargazer walk back across the hold, having extricated himself from the top of the cargo crates. He'd composed himself and though he would never show his discontent on the outside, both Strong Soul and Night Star could feel it, as Stargazer's was another of Strong Soul's strongest links.

"You must control yourself, Keeper," Stargazer said quietly when he came close enough to be heard.

"I did, Stargazer," Strong Soul answered with a smug smile. "If I hadn't, you wouldn't have landed so close, or so well."

"I'm just glad to see that she can take care of herself it it comes down to it," Night Star said. "I'd hate to be the one on the receiving end of one of her donkey kicks."

"Excuse me? Donkey kicks?" Strong Soul turned her attention back to Night Star, a dangerous look on her face.

"Easy, love," Night Star held up his hands in surrender and took a step back. "Just an expression."

"Hmmph," was all she said in return.

"I think we're good for today, Stargazer," she said, turning her back on Night Star. "I know that Fire Thrower wants to see me this afternoon, and I promised Silent Heart that I would work with her and First Spark later on before dinner."

"Very well, Keeper," Stargazer said with a bowed head. "But please don't forget what I said today. You do not need to be with every Mrr'tani at every moment of the day. You need rest yourself."

He bowed graciously and then turned and walked out the door of the cargo bay, leaving Night Star and Strong Soul alone.

"That was something that I wanted to talk to you about, love," Night Star said as he followed her to the door. "With all the route changes we did on the way here, we're running behind on some deliveries. I know that Marcus won't really care and he'll take the cut in profits for this run, but I don't want a reputation for being a late hauler."

"Does that mean you need to leave?" Strong Soul asked, pausing by the door, her hand almost at the button that would open it.

"Well...yes. But I was really hoping that it meant that we need to leave for a while."

"You still want me to come with you?" she asked.

"Of course," he said, stepping close. "You're my first mate, my partner in crime. The Pride won't feel right without you in the right-hand seat."

"Pssh," she said, smiling, "you just don't want to admit that you're going to be lonely."

"Nah, I'll admit it, love. I'll miss you. Besides, do you think I don't feel the way that you do when you look out the window at the stars? You want to be out there as much as I do. You don't really like being cooped up here, do you?"

Strong Soul sighed and shook her head. "No, I don't. But it's the safest thing, right? The humans don't know we're here, and so I'm less likely to be caught here."

"Well, first," Night Star said, raising a finger, "it might be safer for you, but what about the rest of the Mrr'tani here? You know that the moment a tracker comes out of hyper anywhere near here, they're going to feel something isn't right, and that's only worse with you here."

She wanted to argue, but she knew he was right. Having the entirety of Mss'ranaw linked through her had to be creating some kind of psychic beacon for those sensitive enough to feel it.

"And second, you've spent a lot of time with Silent Heart, and I know that you've learned a lot from her. You and First Spark are doing great, and with what she's teaching you and our joining, there's no problem in hiding you from the trackers if it's just you and me."

"You think you can be my void still, love?" she asked incredulously. "Even after all this?"

He didn't respond, just looked deep into her eyes. As she met his eyes, she felt the familiar feeling of his dampening start, muffling the links in her head, quieting the voices and the emotions all around her. It was different this time, stronger and more detectable than she'd ever felt it before. By the time she could speak, the only links left in her head were the ones with him, Stargazer, First Spark, and Micah. The feeling of emptiness in her mind caused a swelling in her chest that she wasn't expecting and the breath she drew was choked and forced as tears filled her eyes.

"Please stop, love," she asked quietly.

The feeling relented and she gasped as the links filled her mind again, her body shuddering with relief.

"You're not the only one who's been practicing," Night Star said gently.

"Clearly."

"I'm sorry, love. I didn't know it would upset you."

"I didn't either," Strong Soul sighed. "I guess I'm just getting to the point that having everyone up here," she tapped her head, "just feels right, and when you shut them all out..."

She shuddered again and turned to wrap her arms around him, laying her head against the deep black fur on his chest.

"I know it's been hard on you, love. I wish there was something I could do to make it easier."

"I want to go with you, my evening star," she said, hugging him tight. "It's just that I'm afraid. To be honest, though, I'm afraid of what will happen either way. If I stay here, then I'm broadcasting this place to anyone sensitive enough to feel it, but if I go, then I have to go through that loneliness every single time we jump."

"I know you've already made up your mind, though," Night Star said with a quiet chuckle. "You can't hide it from me."

"Yeah, I have. It's better that I suffer for a time to keep everyone here safe. We'll go. Besides, even empty, I still have you and Stargazer."

"That's right. Together we'll rule the hyper waves!"

Strong Soul grinned and stroked her hand gently down his shoulder. "You should have been a pirate," she murmured.

"There's still time," he replied, letting his hands slide from her shoulders. "Marcus tells me that some of the less savory True Masters ship some very interesting things."

"You're horrible, you know."

She let go of Night Star, her hand lingering on his hip for a moment before she turned to the door.

"Come on," she said, holding out her hand for him. "If we're going to be going, then I've got a lot of things to wrap up before we go, and I'm sure that you're going to have to have a talk with Stargazer at the very least."

"Oh, you're leaving that to me, are you?"

"Well, yes. It was your idea, after all. Besides, while you do that, I have to talk to Fire Thrower and tell her that I'm not going to be around for a while."

"Don't worry, love, I'm sure she'll get along fine without you."

"I hope so. Come on. Let's go break the news."

He took her hand and she strode through the door, feeling two sets of approval in her head. Night Star's was the closest, but she could feel the barest perception of gratitude and anxious excitement from Micah's link. It seemed she wasn't the only one suffering from wanderlust.