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Chapter 5

I dropped back into the desk chair in my room, a little worn out from all my strutting and dancing around I'd done since no one was home and no one would care. I paused the music on my laptop and laid my head back on the chair, panting lightly.

I feel like I'm the only person who has the leisure to act this was in town without neighbors getting bitchy about how loud I'm being. In all honesty, my dad bought a house in a neighborhood on the outskirts of town and really for the middle class- which is upper class for Cosmopolis. It also just so happens that there aren't any houses behind mine, it faces the empty streets in front of it. To make the whole building look and feel even lonelier, the only neighbor I have is some old guy on the other side of the street and two houses down.

Ah, Rodrick Vann Dickson was a charming old coyote. He was the plainest person you'd ever see, he had a toothy grin from his past years as a smoker, and for the same reason, the black roses in his yard grew inconceivably well. I didn't really see him any time other than Thanksgiving, when my dad invited him over out of what he called sympathy. He said the seventy year old man has no living relatives and that all his will is going to some charity. I'd say otherwise, simply because every year they go into a back room and talk about god knows what.

Now, I know I can ramble a lot, about things that don't matter too- don't get me started on the fucking guitar picks in my room- but this is actually relevant. See, the reason my life got tipped upside down is arguably because Rod is the most superstitious person in the world. Joking about zombies, ghosts, monsters, aliens, and anything of the like, anything supernatural and clearly fictitious, makes him uncomfortable. He doesn't believe in them, he just doesn't want to "tempt fate" or "jinx the timeline". He's a queer person, and even the social use of the word queer applies to him apparently.

I'd just gotten a text from Tim, telling me to meet him at his place. Yes, I knew it was a trap, I told him it was trap, and also agreed to go. I was getting bored, but bumping into Rod on my own porch kinda took my mind off of the nervousness of plunging into an abyss.

"Oh, Fyodor, I was just about to knock. How's your day?"

"Uhh... Good. I don't mean to sound rude, but what are you doing?"

"Your father asked me to check up on you now and then. He doesn't want anything bad happening to you."

"Yeah, and what do you think could happen?"

"Well a lot of things could happen. Some of them will, some of them won't."

"Uh... huh. Um, I'm going to my friend's, so, do you mind if I-"

"Oh, not at all. Just doing my job." He turned around and was stepping off the porch when he awkwardly paused and looked down. I noticed him shifting his shoe and then cocking his head. "Huh. Well isn't that curious."

"What?"

"Three ants. All dead. How peculiar."

I rolled my eyes and thought I was quiet when I muttered under my breath, "For the love of god-"

His head swiveled and he glared at me, "I may be old but my hearing has yet to decay. Fyodor, I know you and your father and your family all think me a mindless coot with his senseless superstitions and habits, but there's a reason they dot our globe, our world, and our culture. Especially the number three."

"I'm sorry, I get it, but it's-"

"Hard not to laugh at? How do you think I feel when I hear the mere notions of Atheism and quantum rules? Our world does not boil down to entropic states acting on impulse but is governed by things beyond our total comprehension, things that even the most superstitious, maniac, and crazed can only hope to catch a fleeting hint at their true extent."

"I... Don't know how to respond to that, actually."

"Then heed my warning and do me this, fear the number three for as long as it comes to mind. Three lives given does not mean another can't be stolen, Fyodor."

"Uh, okay... But, why does you stepping on ants have to do with me? Or anything for that matter?"

"Oh please, I've practiced enough supernatural rituals to avoid even the hint of death; I scoff in the face of cancer and dementia despite being well beyond my final year of life. And Fyodor, ants aren't complicated things. They're more primal than we are, they're more in tune with the forces that govern everything, and as such, they're signs of what's to come. And when auspicious marks show themselves, like a three, a death, or a sudden end, things are bound to turn for the worse."

He began to walk off to his house, and half way across the street turned to look at me as I was heading down the sidewalk in the opposite direction, "Be on guard Fyodor, life is strange, and the world only stranger."

I walked farther down the road, glad to get away from that awkward conversation, and finally crossed the street where I needed to. Four blocks down I cut across Tim's lawn and stepped jumped over the rail on the porch only to open the front door and be pummeled to the ground. Within five seconds they blindfolded me, and from there I felt fuzzy handcuffs wrap around my hands and feet, and a muzzle strapped to my mouth. It was hard to talk with my teeth clamped shut, but I managed to at least groan and spit out the complainant word, "Really?"

I was hoisted up off the floor and felt a harness strapped tightly over my body, constricting my chest just enough to control my breathing. "Is jish really neshashary?"

My blindfold was lifted up just enough for me to see Tim's face, "Yes, now shut up and gimp up like a good little boy." He dropped the blindfold before plushy pads were strapped around every part of my body but my head and then pressed tightly against my fur by god knows what. I realized I was in my onesie when they slipped gloves on my hands and replaced my shoes with the soft slippers. They carried me into the bathroom and removed the blindfold before flipping the hood over my head. I looked in the mirror and was glad the muzzle hid my smile. The Mudkip onesie actually looked cute on me when it was puffed out more instead of baggily dangling from my body. They pulled the muzzle off and Tim smirked when he saw my smile, me blushing really badly, "Tsk, you're enjoying yourself." I briefly had a confused look on my face from seeing him as Treecko, the green complimenting his eyes.

"Shut up and get this off me. Come on, I wouldn't mind doing the tunnel thing now."

Chase wrapped his arm around me and pulled me closer to the cheeks on his Lucario onesie, "Yeah, and we're gonna take you. It's a cool tunnel, but it's freezing cold, and we just couldn't pass up the chance to humiliate you a little."

"You guys suck sometimes, you know that?"

Lychinus tugged me away from the bathroom, me noting him in his own puffed up Dragonite onesie, and squeezed me, "D'aww, it's not like we're hurting you! And you're so cuddly now!"

"Might hate you less if you took the handcuffs off."

Lychinus pushed me back a bit, and the six inch chain between my legs forced me to trip and fall on my ass before Ten bent down unhooked the handcuffs from my ankles and wrists, me catching on to them all being in their onesies. "There, do you feel better Mr. Gimpy?"

"You suck the most."

I got up and was about to start undoing the gloves when Lych stopped me, "Come on, you look so cute, and we're all padded up too, so just be fun and be like us."

I sighed, "Fine, but if I get cold or wet I'm blaming you guys for lying to me."

Tim stepped out of the bathroom and grinned at me, "We wouldn't do this if we were gonna get wet. Anyways, it'll be fun to cuddle afterwards."

I felt myself start smiling again and wrapped my arms around Lychinus, who hugged me back, "Okay, let's go!"

"'Kay, follow me to the garage." I hoisted up Lychinus and walked to the car with them, clinging to Lych as we drove to some unknown place off the highway. Car rides are always relaxing to me, nulling my mind and making me drift off. They actually shook me awake once we parked, me still clinging to Lychinus as the slipped three plastic bags on each foot of mine. We hurriedly ran to the boat in a little over hang on some unknown river and I watched as Ten untied the boat from a tree and used an oar to urge it deeper into the overhang. I grabbed Lych's hand as I felt the river pick up pace in this direction and exhaled a little as I felt the boat angle downward lightly.

I let go and clutched him as everything went black and all my senses told me was that I was falling, there was water nearby, and that I could see my friends' faces save for Tenebrae. I saw a light up ahead and figured that was it, but realized it was just the light from Tim's flashlight before I got my hopes up. The river was doing all the work, and we were being rushed down a slight angle at a pace faster than I liked. I gripped Lych's sides even more and he hugged me back, petting my head in an attempt to calm me. I suddenly saw the tunnel curve upward and we briefly shot upwards at the same angle that mellowed out and became flat. The cave opened up and Tim flicked off his light as it did so.

We were being carried along an invisible path and the brief darkness momentarily scared me before the ceiling lit up with tiny dots and lights as if by the stars. I couldn't believe the sight of the ceiling so far above my head, and the cave having expanded to at least the size of a football field, or even the fact that the water was still enough to almost perfectly reflect the ceiling like a mirror. It was so calm, so peaceful, so beautiful... I actually let go of Lych and stood up on the dinghy, noticing how it didn't even wobble when I did so.

I looked down at the lightless shape I knew to be Tenebrae, "You hid this from us for how long?"

"Only two months, and it's Tim who didn't want to show you guys!"

I looked over at him and watched him blush and cower, "I thought it'd be a chance for me to hook up with Tenebrae."

I rolled my eyes, "Okay, so now that he fucked you last night-"

"What? No! I fucked him, and he did everything he could to make himself a slut, he's a god damn whore!"

Tenebrae moaned and leaned back against the side of the boat, "God, why did you have to say that?!"

I sat down next to Tenebrae and wrapped my arms around him, "So how did you like being fucked in the ass?"

"Fyodor-"

"Oh come on, I had both Lych's and Chase's dicks inside my ass last night, I think I can understand wanting one dick in your butt."

"Ugh, just stop-"

"Tim, what isn't he telling us?"

Tim shook his head, "Dude, I don't think he wants it known."

Lych perked up a bit, "Oh, did you do watersports? I've totally seen him jack off to that kind of stuff before!"

I cocked my head to one side, "What's-"

Ten cut me off, "Yes! Yes, okay? I begged him to piss in my mouth! God, can you shut up now?" His last word echoed through the cave for a few seconds before going silent.

"I don't understand, isn't that just another fetish thing?"

Chase shook his head, "Fetishes aren't good, Fyodor. Especially when they're things like watersports."

"Why are they wrong? I thought everyone had them."

Tim burst into the conversation speaking in a weirdly matter-of-fact voice, "Paraphilias are just sexual attractions, actions, or mannerisms that are typically considered taboo in most cases, and since people don't like talking about them, they're not honest about them. Personally I have no complaints, and I think they're a fascinating and fun branch of sexology, but everyone else think's having them makes you a whore or some kind."

"... Wait, sexology is an actual thing?"

"Oh yeah, it's really interesting-"

Tenebrae sighed, "Tim, no one cares that you want a college major in sexology."

"I care, and Fyodor doesn't seemed shy of the subject."

I nodded, "Oh yeah, no, I'm not into porn, so it's all just this whole other world that I'm not a part of. So, are paraphilias and fetishes different?"

"Yeah, fetish is usually more like sexual abnormality, and paraphilia is like the technical term that means it's even weirder or more severe. Like, bondage is a fetish, masochism is a paraphilia."

"Oh, okay."

Chase held up his hands and gave us a what-the-fuck-is-wrong-with-you look, "What the fuck is wrong with you?"

"Well, it's interesting. What fetishes do you have?"

"Well I don't know if their fetishes or paraphilias anymore."

Tim rolled his eyes, "I prefer using paraphilia as an umbrella term, mostly because it sounds more technological."

"... Okay, I still don't want to talk about them."

"Tsk, do it."

"No, you tell us yours."

"List's a little too long for you buddy, although it would explain why I had all these pads."

"What- Wait, you're a plushophile! God, that's disgusting!"

"Well, no, I'm more of an autoplushophile, but isn't it kind of nice to be all bound in the soft, warm fabric and feeling so safe and cozy in your plushified onesie?"

"I... feel uncomfortable now."

"Bet you're into bondage, you seem like you'd like being bound and forced to have sex."

"I'm not saying anything to you."

He turned away and I grinned a little when I saw his cheek blushing, "So, how do you get into fetishes?"

Tim perked up again at my question, eager to be the knowledgeable one, "Basically by exploring around with things or tiptoeing around the weird side of porn."

"So if I want to find out what mine are-"

"Watch porn."

"Ugh, what if my dad catches me?"

"He's a chill person, he probably grips his own dick from time to time."

"Ew, I didn't need that thought in my head..."

"Yeah, but still, it's a risk you have to take if you wanna find out your paraphilias."

"Dammit."

"It's that or I could explore some of mine with you."

"Uh... No."

He grinned, chuckling a little, "Heh heh, no? You don't think transformation's hot?"

"I... What?"

Lychinus stood up suddenly and snapped his fingers at Tim, "You're Terraboy156! God, I thought it was Chase!"

Tim blushed and started laughing more, the rest of us confused, "Duh, Tiggy! Come on, let's romp, I'm sure I can make things interesting."

Lychinus sat back down, cowering away from him, "God, you just ruined that for me!"

"Who cares! I wasn't the one stupid enough to blurt out who I was!"

I finally worked up the courage to ask, "What are you talking about?"

"I met him on a transformation roleplay oriented site three months ago. He's so cutely obsessed with becoming rubber."

Lych growled at him, "Shut up!"

"I said it was cute! Anyways, I clearly have the same fetish if I'm still jacking off to it!"

"Well... True. And you did come out about having some really out there fetishes."

I cocked my head to one side, "Rubber?"

Tenebrae sighed, "Dude, Lych's a slut for rubber. I've seen him make a cock sleeve out of duct tape because it's rubbery and shiny enough that it horns him up like a male wasp."

"Huh?"

"Male wasps- Never mind, it's bug stuff."

"I still don't understand what the rubber thing is about-"

Lych shifted awkwardly and looked at me, "Guys, I'm not comfortable with this, I-"

Chase scooted around to cuddle up with Lychinus, "It's okay, it's okay, we're not making fun of you."

"It sure feels like you are."

Tim suddenly got up and grabbed the oar, "So do you guys wanna go another lap or leave?"

I turned and saw the opening of the cave, the water picking up pace as it drew nearer, "Another lap?"

"Yeah, I can push against the wall and it'll shove us back into some current that rolls around the lake. Personally I find the cave calming and relaxing, but I think it sets Ten on edge."

Tenebrae looked at Tim, "It's fine, I just don't like how open it is. Think about it, this cave has been here for who knows how long, and it's still resting beneath who knows how much weight. It should cave in, it should collapse, and yet..."

"And yet it's still here."

"Yeah..."

Chase looked at Tim, "I think we can go. Anyways, we haven't gotten to the fun part yet."

I tipped my head his direction, "The fun part?"