Finn Thinks Really Really Hard About Wriitng

Story by Finnpanther on SoFurry

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#1 of Other

In which our friendly neighborhood panther gets relationship advice and also thinks really just quite hard about writing. It's the second post in a series of real-life inspired blogs as written by Finn, so if you liked this there's going to be plenty more coming your way. Check out this story and others like it at bafflepanther.tumblr.com


So, I mean, I should probably write more consistently, shouldn't I?

That's great, Finn. Start off with a rhetorical question, why don't you? But he didn't know what else to say, and he did feel more than a little discouraged. So much had happened in not much time at all. There was the super talkative mouse who was showing them apartments - that could have been a story. He and Courage hung out with Ashton, a wolf who was going to be their third roommate. Good kid, nineteen and... spunky, was a good word to describe him. Just talking about that would have been a good story too.

And then there was today. Just a few hours ago Courage had texted Finn the news. They had gotten accepted to the apartment they wanted - the move in date was set for November 5th, and Finn was _beyond_excited. In fact, the moment he got the text he was off, scurrying about his friend's house gathering up his things. Laptop, check. Phone charger, bike helmet, check. Everything he needed to hit the road - it was time to go check out the surroundings of his new home-to-be. Courage was a working man, after all, and _somebody_needed to learn the lay of the land. In particular that meant finding out what coffee shop was going to be Finn's new favorite place to be.

And that's another thing. It's not like he was alone in doing this. It so happened that Larry the Lemur (his parents claimed the alliteration was purely an accident, but Finn wasn't so sure) was getting ready to run some errands as well, so Finn had company while he was out and about. Earlier would have been a perfect opportunity to introduce one of his best friends. They were right there, after all. Turns out the closest coffee shop was literally kitty-corner from their new apartment. On a good day you could throw a football that distance. Courage could probably do it on a bad day. And he was there with with simian friend, checking it out. Perfect opportunity for a story!

But no, it didn't happen that way,_Finn lamented. _I mean, I could write it anyway. But that isn't what's happening right now_, and for some reason that feels important to me._ Finn glanced up from his computer, taking in his surroundings.

_Not all is lost, though. This way, at least, I can introduce you to Jay. He's working on an animation right now, and if he had ears which perked up I guarantee they'd be on the "full focus" setting. A lot like mine, actually._Finn habitually tapped at his ears to confirm that they were, in fact, on full alert. Sometimes he got flak for having such expressive features. Possibly the most unfair aspect of being a feline in particular (although any species with a tail could probably qualify) was that it was _hard_to disguise your emotions. Finn in particular, people always said he seemed moody. Courage thought he was the first one to coin that particular term for the panther, but he wasn't. And maybe he really was moody - or maybe he just had a more difficult time hiding his emotions than someone like his mate did.

Jay never had that problem, though. He came from a perfectly respectable family of beagles, which was to say nothing negative about floppy ears. It's just that they didn't seem as naturally betraying as Finn's perpetual radar dishes of tell-the-world-how-I'm-feeling. Just like any mammal with a tail, though, Jay could be just as expressive as Finn when he wanted to be. It wagged, just like any other person's tail did. Actually, it was super fun to force it on him - ordinarily Jay had super good control over his tail, and Finn was one of the select few who could break through that barrier of control. Part of the territory of being best friends for years. Usually, though, Jay kept those emotional turbulences to himself, like most people did. Finn just never really seemed to learn that measure of control. He was told it was part of his charm.

Thinking about it had his brow furrowed and his ears at a slight decline, along with a minor twitch of his muzzle. He shook his head and got back to work, however - he really wanted to get another entry uploaded before today was up, and besides, Jay was making his animating look so easy. Finn wanted to make something look easy too.

Hopefully this writing thing does the trick, as far as that goes. Anyway, I'm about to have a new place, guys! It's practically equidistant between both Jay and Larry, so ideally I'll be able to see both of them a lot. You guys too, for that matter. So long as Courage doesn't get bothered by having them around, but I don't see why he would. It's not like they'll be hanging out all of the time, and besides, it's really important to me that my friends and my boyfriend get along. I know it won't be a problem, though, so I'm not sure why I'm making a big deal out of it.

The place is super quaint. I love the neighborhood, and being a football's throw away from a coffee shop is amazing! It's super dangerous for Courage's wallet - but amazing nonetheless! I took Jay there, actually, right after Larry left to go finish his errands. Neither of them even drink coffee, but they were happy to support me anyway, which was super nice of them. Can't wait to show it to Courage, either. I mean, he does kind of take care of things for me. It's the least I can do to at least... figure out more about where we're living? Maybe? I dunno, something like that.

The fact of the matter was that Courage really did do most of the things for the two of them. Courage was the one who had a job. It isn't that Finn had never_worked, but he certainly wasn't very good at it. It wasn't just his own opinion, either. His employers seemed to think so, too. Personally Finn wasn't too worried about it. It was just money, after all. Courage, though - that mentality simply wouldn't do, no way, no how. The tawny cougar had such a _doer mentality, Finn didn't know how he could stand it.

Courage always needed to be doing something. Courage needed work, he needed that challenge. With Finn out of a job Courage took it as a point of pride just to work a little harder to take care of them both. And Finn was... oddly okay with that? Apparently the two of them just had different _specialties,_is how his mate put it. But that didn't leave much for Finn to do except for scope out coffee shops and "work on himself," whatever that even means. He was trying, though, and writing played a big part of that.

It was a confusing time for him, really, which perfectly reflected in the entirety of his ears, muzzle, and tail. Thinking about his role next to his busy, worker bee mate had Finn looking radically quizzical, with his tail putting out uncertain twitches between similarly uncertain intervals. It was something Jay had noticed, having had taken a quick break from animating to grab himself a snack. Finn hadn't even noticed the beagle get up.

"What's up?" By now Jay knew far better than to pretend Finn's emotions weren't perpetually worn on his fur. Similarly, Finn had learned better than to pretend that Jay (or anyone, really) couldn't see what was going on. Life was simpler that way, if not a little more naked.

"It's nothing. I'm just thinking about Courage, I guess." Finn could hear the droop in his voice, even though he honestly didn't mean for it to come across that way. He didn't feel droopy - it just sort of happened. When your tail was on edge, and especially when your ears were a little on the wilted side, your voice would come across as wilted too. Personally, Jay wasn't having it.

"So, why the long face? You guys aren't fighting, are you?"

"Huh? What, no. It's nothing like that."

"Then what?" Jay was insistent, but not harsh. Basically he just wasn't about to put up with any of Finn's emotional bullshit. The beagle really did have a remarkably clear way of seeing the world around him. It was the sort of calm sight that Courage had, and the sort of thing that Finn was more than occasionally envious of.

Finn huffed lightly, not necessarily wanting to go into detail, but knowing there wasn't much way around it. Not after his entire biology had ratted him out that something was bothering him - and Jay wasn't one to let something like that slide.

"I just, well." Finn stammered, trying to find his words. He closed the lid to his laptop and sat up on the floor, not even pretending to be getting any work done at this point. "It's just that Courage works really hard for the both of us. And I don't know how to pay him back for that."

"Does he want you to 'pay him back?'"

"Well, no, but-"

"Then there you go."

And with that the insufferable (albeit calm) beagle turned back to the card table where his animation tablet resided. Finn's eyebrows were pulled together and his muzzle was slightly scrunched, and his ears were splayed in odd directions. Why, that advice didn't help him at all!

"What does that even mean?"

Apparently it was exactly the reaction Jay expected because the beagle chuckled and set down his pen, swiveling his chair to face the somewhat downtrodden feline.

"Look, Finn." Jay's eyes were caring and patient, and he reached a paw out to scruff the fur between Finn's ears. "You love him, right?"

Finn shook the paw off annoyedly. "Yeah."

"And he loves you too?"

Finn nodded exaggeratedly. "Yes, he definitely does. Look, I know-"

"Well, that's how he shows it." Jay overrode Finn's statement and had now grabbed his best friend by the shoulders, his claws extended just enough to give a friendly, but firm, grasp. "Courage shows he loves you by working hard to support you. And the harder he works? The harder he loves you."

Finn smiled and his ears started to perk back up. The tip of his tail flicked, too. Jay had him at this point, and the beagle knew it. He gently shook Finn and pressed on.

"So your job is to accept that love, and reciprocate it. Courage works hard because he loves you, so it's your job to work hard too." Jay smiled, and not just with his muzzle. The beagle's words were smiling too. "That's all. It doesn't have to be much. You don't need to go out and get a job right away, Courage has that part covered. But if you work really hard anyway, that's how you can 'pay it back.'

"He just wants to see you succeed, Finn. That's what love is. I'd do the exact thing for Zen any day. I mean, if I was able to support both of us, so she could do what she loved, I'd start right this second. _That's_what Courage wants from you, and that's how you can show that love. He wants to see you at your best. So it's your job to give it to him. That's all."

Finn started to laugh and looked at his friend sheepishly. Nobody else saw through layers of bullshit quite like Jay could, which was a remarkably useful trait to have in a best friend, since Finn had a hard time with that. More than most others, it seemed. Still, even if it was only a product of years and years of friendship, the beagle got him in a way that few others could. He always seemed to know just the right thing to say.

"And I have a suspicion," Jay continued, "that you already know what it is you need to be doing it. I mean, you're doing it right now."

The beagle nodded towards the laptop laying on the ground, his large ears swaying slightly as he did. The miniature speech gave Finn a new round of inspiration, and it made Finn eager to get back to work. He wanted to get back to writing - it was his passion, and he wanted to make Courage proud. Not just for his mate's sake, either, but also for himself. Writing is what Finn loved to do. He loved to connect with people of all sorts, and get across crazy ideas and emotions. It's what Courage would want, but it's also what Finn wanted himself. He just needed a little reminding of that now and again.

At this point the panther's ears had gone from dismayed, and splayed in all directions, to perked directly upright, as though beaconing his intentions to write out to the world around him. Even Finn's tail was alert with intent, slightly shaking with the influx of energy. Again Jay ruffed the fur between Finn's ears before turning back to his animation. Finn meanwhile took in a deep, steeling breath, and picked up his laptop once again.

It's like my friend Jay was saying,_Finn wrote, picking up where he left off. _And similar to what Courage has been telling me all along. We just have different specialties, that's all. He gets to work, he's good at that. It's what he loves. But me? Well, I get to do something else. And that's the important word to use. I get_to do something else._

Basically, Tumblr, what I get to do is, well, go to coffee shops. And check out the area around where I'm going to live. I get to hang out with friends and enjoy my time, but more than that, I get to write. It's like... well, I've always been a vivid daydreamer. As though my expressive ears and erratic tail couldn't tell you that. But now I get to write some of those daydreams down. And, who knows, maybe some of you guys will like what you see.

Finn smiled deeply as he wrote those words, his tail giving a massive swish to his other side as though to accent his feeling of accomplishment. It wasn't going to be easy, not even a little bit. Even if he did occasionally manage to make it look like it was (as he hoped that he did, especially being friends with someone like Jay). It was certainlygoing to be a long road ahead of him.

Would it be any more difficult than a normal nine to five? No, of course not. But, way he saw it, if writing was how he could show his beautiful cougar that he loved him, then write he would. Plus besides that, Finn was going to haveto do something to earn his allowance. The coffee across the street definitely wouldn't drink itself, after all.Probably he wouldn't mention the thing with the allowance on his Tumblr, though. He wanted to come across as a sophisticated cat on his Tumblr page, not as some kitten tugging at his boyfriend's tail, mewling while pointing excitedlyat a candy bar at the grocery store.

Even though that had definitely happened.

Twice.

Finn just shook his head and decided that that was enough. This writing was hard work, and besides, he was proud of what he'd done today. He decided just to sign the blog off simply, trusting that people would be okay with it.

I'll talk with you guys later,_he wrote. _And I really hope you like what you see. And as always, thanks so much for reading! I'll talk with you guys again soon.

So, until next time!

-Finn